• Published 14th Aug 2017
  • 2,589 Views, 72 Comments

Taking Potshots: Crackshipping Rainbow Dash and Adagio Dazzle - bahatumay



Rainbow Dash sees Adagio Dazzle and knows she's up to something. Things spiral out of control.

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Chapter 1

Rainbow Dash pushed off against the ground again, giving herself another little burst of speed. Her eyes narrowed as she sized up the stairs, and she couldn’t help but smile with anticipation.

With perfect timing, she jumped, making her skateboard spin twice in the air before she landed on the railing. Her balance was perfect; she slid, grinding down the entire length of the handrail. She jumped off right before her board reached the end, throwing in a little kickflip just to show off, and landed smoothly.

She dragged her foot to stop and looked back, and glared at the spot where she had landed. “Not quite fast enough,” she said, disappointed in herself. “Again!” Pushing off the ground, she looped around to make the jump again. She pumped harder and picked up even more speed, and jumped, ready to send sparks flying as she grinded the rail.

And then she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A huge orange poof, disappearing into a doorway somewhere in the alleyway.

She did a double take. That had looked exactly like-

And that little motion was all it took for her to lose her concentration. The board hit the railing at an awkward angle and slipped out from under her shoes, and the railing went up right between her legs.

Rainbow let out a cry of pain as she rolled off the railing and hit the ground face first. She rolled up to her knees, hands clamped protectively around her most sacred of places. “So glad I’m not a guy,” she grunted through gritted teeth as she pushed herself up.

But pain was temporary. She had recognized that hair. And she was about to go find out where it had gone, and just what else those no-good Sirens were up to.

Unfortunately, when she had recovered enough to look up, she couldn't tell the doorways apart. It had only been for a split second; she had no idea to where Hair Mountain had disappeared.

Scowling, she kicked her skateboard back into position. She bit her lip and considered trying the jump again, but she knew she wouldn't be able to focus now; not with knowing that Adagio was around. She'd take a quick break, probably go for a run (that always helped clear her mind), and then she'd be back.

And whatever that dirty Siren was up to, she'd figure it out; and she and her friends would stop it.


Rainbow dropped her tray on the table a bit more loudly than strictly necessary, and her plastic tray clattered against the table. She braced herself for Rarity’s mini-lecture on manners before she remembered that Rarity and her sister were on a trip this whole week, and for some reason this bothered her even more.

“Hey, Rainbow!” Pinkie greeted her cheerfully as usual. “What's up?”

“Oh, not much,” Rainbow answered. “Just something siren-y has been bothering me.”

Pinkie cocked her head. “You mean like a police siren,” she asked, spinning her fingers around like an old-school police light, “-or like…?” She furtively pointed a finger at the blue-haired girl sitting next to her.

Sensing that people were talking about her, Sonata Dusk looked up, with something still halfway in her mouth.

Rainbow paused as she thought she recognized it. “Sonata, what are you eating?” she asked.

Sonata swallowed. “F’shtick!” she answered, slurring the words ‘fish stick’ into one. “These are delicious!”

Rainbow had stayed awake long enough in history class to know that according to Greek mythology, Sirens had come from the sea. She also knew that sirens fed solely on negative energy, and therefore had had a friendly relationship with the nearby fish. And she definitely knew what the cafeteria fish sticks were (supposedly) made of. She glanced over at Fluttershy, who was looking down and whose cheeks were looking decidedly pinker than normal. “She doesn’t know, does she?” she deadpanned.

“Know what?” Sonata asked innocently, dipping another fish stick in ketchup.

Rainbow looked over at Fluttershy, and a devious look crossed her face. “I’m gonna tell her,” she said.

“Please don’t,” Fluttershy whispered.

Sonata frowned, and not just because her cheap school fish stick had crumbled in the ketchup. “Tell me what?” she asked.

“That…” Rainbow thought quickly. “That, uh, f’shticks actually taste better with mayonnaise than with ketchup.” She nodded, proud of her save.

Sonata cocked her head. “What’s mayonnaise?”

“Oh, it's good stuff. It's a sort of creamy white sauce-thing.”

Sonata's eyes widened knowingly. “Ah, ah!” She waggled her finger scoldingly. “Not gonna work on me! Adagio used to pull that one on me all the time.”

Fluttershy took a moment to think, and when she realized that the only white substance possible would have come from passing seagulls, she shuddered and pushed her tray away.

Rainbow's mind had made a slightly different connection, and she grimaced. She wondered if it was more pathetic that Adagio had tried that, or that Sonata had fallen for it. She shook her head. “Speaking of Adagio, do you know what she's up to recently?”

Sonata shrugged and took another bite of fish stick. “We don’t talk much anymore,” she admitted with a hint of sadness, “and by that I mean we don't talk at all. She and Aria left the morning after the rap battle, and I haven't seen either since.”

“That’s why she lives with meee!” Pinkie added excitedly. “I talk plenty for her!”

Rainbow grunted, acknowledging that Pinkie definitely had a point there. “Well, I'm pretty sure I saw Adagio when I was skateboarding, and I know she's up to something.”

“She usually is,” Sonata agreed. “She's the smart one.”

Needless to say, this did nothing to assuage Rainbow’s determination. “Well, I'm pretty smart, too,” Rainbow said. “And I know Sirens. She's up to something devious, something that’s bigger than just the school, and I'm going to find out what she's pulling and I'm going to put a stop to it!”

“Hey, look!” Sonata said, holding a knife out between her teeth. “I'm a narwhal!”

Author's Note:

Actual cannibal Sonata Dusk