Spike Gets Spiked
The day started out fine, all things told.
It was too bad that by the end of it, Celestia's room, and and by association, Celestia herself, was filled and covered with the contents of various rooms from the Castle of Friendship. And even more peculiar: food.
As Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria picked bits of salad from her ever flowing mane, a tuft of emerald flame appeared before a bowling ball fell. She quickly moved out of the way, eyes wide with astonishment as it crashed heavily into the floor below, denting the marble. It wasn't as bad as the knife that injured a maid earlier that day, and it probably wouldn't have harmed Celestia regardless; due to the entire, "living goddess of the sun" bit, Celestia was near indestructible, but she could still be startled by weapons. And she decided a bowling ball out of nowhere definitely fit that description.
Looking around at the piles of chairs and even some large furniture, she figured most of it did.
Celestia's eye twitched even as a guard poked his head in at the noise. "Are you okay, your majesty? What was that noise?"
"A bowling ball this time, Sergeant Sun Spear. Prep my chariot, please. I want it ready to leave for Ponyville within thirty minutes."
The pegasus guard in question saluted with a wing. "Yes, Princess," he quickly left the room.
The other white pegasus stallion standing outside the door looked over at his commander. "So?"
The sergeant grumbled and slipped 5 bits towards Private Steel Wings. "Bowling ball. I don't know how you called it, but you did. Go get some other guards to cover her private quarters for us. I need to get the chariot ready. I am not leaving Celestia for long after all that's happened today."
Private Steel Wings smiled smugly, slipping the bits into his armors pocket. He left for the barracks with his orders.
Celestia herself followed them out a few moments later, bowling ball in tow. She rounded corners and passed various guards and servants going about their business before coming upon the entrance to Luna's chambers.
She shivered after she passed over the magical runes inscribed to the ground. On any changeling it would immediately drop their disguise. For anypony else it was just semi-unpleasant. She nodded at the two batpony guards standing at the door, who saluted in return, satisfied that this was their actual princess. Though one raised an eyebrow at the bowling ball. "If you don't mind me asking, your majesty, what's with the ball?"
Celestia knocked on the door thrice and waited for it to open in a blue glow. "Enter!" came the curt voice from within. She smiled sweetly at the guards. "Oh, you know, just practicing for the upcoming tournament. We're using guards who ask too many questions as pins," she chuckled at their expressions and walked into her sister's room. It was so fun to mess with her little ponies, sometimes.
When the room wasn't enchanted to bring you straight into the dream realm where Luna normally resided, it opened up into a large suite not unlike Celestia's. The decorations were all blues and blacks, and of every hue in between. Purple highlights dashed the space occasionally. Rock band and dubstep dj posters lined the walls, and various gamer swag hung everywhere. Celestia was glad Luna was having little troubles adjusting, even if her tastes were… Eccentric.
The room's most prominent feature was the massive round bed, filled with an assortment of pillows of all kinds; most of them a regal purple with gold highlights. Other than that, some throw pillows were in front of an active fire place, filled with a magical blue fire, casting an icy glow over the room that belied its burning nature. Various bookcases lined one wall, and a large vanity sat next to the bed.
Princess Luna was standing in front of her vanity, brushing her midnight flowing ethereal mane with a mane brush. The flowing field of stars went splendidly with her navy blue coat. She had just awoken and was preparing for a long night. Celestia smiled strainedly at the sight of her sister. "Lulu."
Luna smiled and looked at Celestia in the mirror's reflection. Noticing the look on her face, she set down her mane brush and turned to face Celestia. "Good afternoon. Whatever is the matter, Tia?"
Celestia raised the bowling ball to show her sister, but was interrupted by the familiar feeling in her gut that something was about to appear by dragon fire. She sat on the floor and closed her eyes to be dramatic. When she felt it pop into existence, she waved a hoof forward. "This, dear sister," Celestia didn't hear whatever it was hit the ground, but did hear the thrum of magic being poured from a horn, so she only assumed her sister caught whatever it was.
Pause.
"... Sister, why have you brought us pornography?" Luna questioned. The sound of a page rustled.
Celestia immediately opened her eyes, seeing that indeed a rather adult magazine was in Luna's magical grasp. She blinked at it. Once. Twice. "What."
Luna turned a page with a bored expression. "Rather tasteless, too. This is a little soft for our tastes, but we appreciate your gift nonetheless. We must ask, though. Is it normal for thine sisters to give arousal inducing gifts in this age? T'wasn't a very popular idea before the banishment."
Celestia just sighed, and standing, turned. She grabbed the wretched thing that had spawned such an awkward moment out of Luna's magic, along with the bowling ball, and decided to leave to gather the rest.
She had some things to return and some questions to ask.
~*~*~*~*~
8 HOURS EARLIER
It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing. Flowers were blooming. Perfect weather for a game of catch.
For some reason, Spike really wanted golden flower tea, now. He also felt the weirdest sense of deja vu.
Eight mares and one dragon were walking to the hill where they normally held their picnics. Spike was carrying most of the supplies, as he had volunteered. He had always carried everything anyways, but now that he was bigger it was much easier. Various baskets hung from his arms as he carried a pie tin in his hands. Other than him, Applejack was carrying a basket of apples on her back, and Rarity was floating tea, cups, and a picture in her magical aura while she walked. She was also carrying a small cooler that he didn't know the contents of. Rainbow Dash, too, was carrying a miniature cooler as she flew above them.
Spike gazed at Rarity for a moment, still somewhat conflicted. It was impossible to fall out of love in one day. She had asked him to try and find somepony else, and for her sake he would, but it would be so hard to look at that beautiful face and not feel his heart leap with joy. Every little thing she did gave him shivers. Her musical laugh gave him goosebumps, and even her talking voice was a melody to his ears. She was a symphony, seemingly designed to his tastes. Every time she looked his way, he could hear the orchestra pick up, and she plucked his heartstrings. She was his overture.
He wilted for a moment, falling back further. Spike shook his head and refused to let tears fill his eyes. He blinked them away quickly. Spike was smitten, but he couldn't be any more. Not for another six years at the least. If he was ever going to have a healthy dating life, he would have to let her go and stop making sappy musical references whenever he thought of her.
Instead, Spike looked over the rest of their entourage, trying to drag his mind off Rarity while they walked. He first looked at the newest and most hesitant member of their group, Trixie Lulamoon. He noticed he fell even behind her, and she was dragging along at the back of the back, feeling out of place. He couldn't really blame her, not with what happened at their first meeting. Since then she had made amends with Twilight and her friends, but even so he could tell she was feeling awkward.
She's quite pretty, he thought to himself, seeing the way her hair waved over itself. He had to admit that the cloak and hat she wore went pretty well with her coat and eyes.
His eyes then traveled again, to the pinkest member of their group, laughing and talking with the others, and he smiled. Pinkie Pie was definitely one of his favorite ponies ever. She represented each of the elements of harmony rather well, even if her talent was bringing laughter. She was kind; he didn't think Pinkie had a mean bone in her body. She was generous and loved to give presents, and she was bluntly honest, even when she didn't mean to be. A loyal friend to the end. She was also quite the looker.
Her baby blue eyes seemed to sparkle in the daylight. Her cotton candy-esque mane was puffy and crazy, just like the candy she ate so much. Thanks to said candy and living in a bakery, she was a smidge larger than their friends, but she worked most of it off by what he thought was her hyperactivity and a good metabolism. What she did gain in weight was very well placed through either pure luck or Pinkie somehow finding a way to distribute body fat wherever she wanted — He wouldn't put it past her —adding to her feminine curves. Spike watched her flank especially bounce in the daylight, the balloons of her cutie mark moving ever so slightly as she walked.
Spike suddenly realized what he was doing and looked around furtively, wondering if anyone saw him ogling Pinkie's flank. To his great dismay, Rainbow Dash had somehow managed to hover next to him without him noticing, and was smirking widely. He quickly looked down at what he was carrying, suddenly intent on not focusing on any of his friends any more until they got to their destination.
These hormones are getting very annoying...
~*~*~*~*~
When the group finally reached their normal picnic spot, everything was set up quickly. Spike, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash dropped their hauls on the red and white checkered blanket Twilight had set out. The group cheered and crowded around in a circle. Twilight started, followed by Spike who sat next to her, followed by Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Trixie, and Starlight, who completed the shape by sitting on Twilight's other side. Everypony dug into the baskets, pie, tea, and so on.
Twilight gave her best winning smile and addressed Trixie. "Thanks for coming, Trixie. I'm sure you've made Starlight very happy, and the more the merrier."
Trixie put on a nervous grin that didn't reach her eyes and she scoffed. "It is nothing. The Great and Powerful Trixie is always there like a good friend. Trixie dares to declare that she is the best friend a best friend could be."
At the influx of glares she received, she quickly amended her statement. "Um, thank you for allowing Trixie to tag along, though."
Starlight chuckled at her friend and nudged her. When Trixie looked up, Starlight beamed at her, letting her know just how happy she was to have Trixie there.
Trixie noticed everypony and dragon staring at her, albeit with softer smiles this time, and grimaced. Trixie was a show pony and performed for crowds of hundreds before, but she didn't want the attention of Twilight and her friends squarely on her. Putting on another smile, Trixie cleared her throat. "So, Spike the Dragon. Trixie can't help but notice you've gotten taller."
Spike looked up from the daffodil sandwich he had picked out of one of the baskets and scratched the back of his neck, blushing slightly. "Uh, yeah. Suppose I did."
Trixie's smile became genuine. "Trixie thinks it is fitting. You're looking more like a proper dragon now."
Spike's face flushed a little more at the compliments, unsure of what to say. Getting a compliment from 'The Great and Powerful Trixie' was like pulling teeth, so it kind of meant a lot to him.
Rainbow Dash hovered out of her spot and floated above Spike, grinning. She gave him a playful noogie, which he struggled to get out of. "Y'sure do, squirt. I don't think I'll be able to take you flying anymore. I remember when you used to be able to ride us. Seems like it was just last week."
Rarity set her tea down back on a plate after her sip. "Um, Pardon, Rainbow Dash, but it was last week..."
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and retook her position next to Applejack. "Whatever. When do you think you'll get your wings, Spike?"
Applejack threw the applecore she had finished behind her for the ground to use for nutrients. "Gotta admit, I was wonderin' the same thing. Y'all grew a lot, but yer back is still barrer than the trees after we buck 'em."
Spike looked at his back forlornly, and back to Rainbow Dash to look at her wings with envy. "I'm not even sure how or when a dragon GETS their wings," he looked to Twilight, hoping for an answer.
Twilight shrugged. "Sorry, Spike. I haven't read anything about that in the few dragon books that exist."
He looked somewhat disappointed by that before Fluttershy spoke up. "Um, don't worry, Spike," she wore a soft smile. "I'm sure they'll come in soon..."
His own smile returned, and he remembered his conversation yesterday with Sweetie Belle. Always believe and hope for the best. "Yeah... Yeah! I bet you're right."
A lull in the conversation happened as everyone kept eating.
Rarity was fidgeting. Applejack noticed and looked at her with a concerned expression. "Y'all alrigh', sugarcube?"
Rarity put on a fake smile and nodded. "Well, yes, I just..." She couldn't take it anymore. Sure turned to Spike. "Are... we're okay, aren't we, Spike? i know how much that must have hurt. This hasn't changed our relationship at all has it?"
This was news to the others. All attention was on Spike and Rarity as they wondered what was going on.
Spike grimaced as she brought up yesterday. "It's... It's fine. Yeah it hurt, but what were you supposed to do? Of course we're okay, Rarity. Best friends. Promise."
Rarity's expression seemed very relieved and was about to speak, when Rainbow Dash cut her off. "Woah woah woah, what happened here?"
Spike looked down, unsure if he wanted to explain or not. Rarity tactfully took the reigns and cleared her throat. "Yesterday Spike and I had a talk about his, erm... feelings for me. It ended as it only could. He was very mature about it."
There were a myriad of responses. Pinkie Pie's mane deflated a little, and she looked pretty disappointed. Fluttershy had a face of sympathy, and looked like she wanted to comfort Spike. Applejack was the same. Trixie and Starlight looked like they didn't really know what to feel. Rainbow dash shook her head. "Jeeze, that's rough buddy."
Twilight's eyes widened, and she immediately wrapped a wing around her scaly assistant. "Are you doing okay?"
Spike nodded, not feeling much of anything sad really at the moment, so it's not like it was untrue. "I'm fine, Twilight."
Twilight looked at him with uncertainty. "Are you sure? It's not everyday the pony you were pining after for two years breaks your heart."
Spike smiled at her, wishing they could all just stop talking about it. He voiced his opinion. "I'm fine, Twilight. Pinkie Promise. Can we just stop talking about it and enjoy the day, please?"
Twilight still looked a bit unsure even as he went through the Pinkie Promises motions, but dropped it as he wished.
Rarity smiled and tapped her now empty teacup with the spoon she used to dole out sugar. "On that happy note, I brought a treat–"
"Ooh! What kind of treat? Is it caramel apples, or black forest cake, or ice cream cake, or chocolate cake? Or Vanilla cake? Or peanut butter cake? Or strawberry cake? Or a face cake? Ooh, ooh, is it red velvet cake?!" Pinkie seemed to bounce in place excitedly.
Rarity smiled, taking Pinkie's interruption in stride. "Nope! I brought wiiiine~!" She sang and pulled the fancy looking bottle out of the cooling bag she had brought.
Rainbow Dash winced. "Well, crud. If I known you had brought that, I wouldn't have brought these wine coolers," she pulled the package of a dozen of them out of the somewhat larger cooler she had brought.
Rarity shrugged with a smile. "No reason we can't have both!" she eyed Rainbow's wine cooler with slight distaste, "Although I doubt your coolers will agree with my palate as well as my bottle, dear. I've been aging this for a while."
Twilight and the rest of the gang smiled at this surprised. A little fine wine with a picnic, what could be better?
Even as Rarity was passing out new cups for everypony and pouring the red liquid in, Spike eyed it curiously. He never had alcohol before. He wondered what it was like...
Spike looked over to twilight, pulling gently on her shoulder to get her attention and succeeding. "Um, Twilight... Could, I uh... Try some?"
Twilight blinked. "Oh! I, uh..."
"Aw, let him have a little, Twi'. What's the worst that can happen?" Rainbow Dash asked.
Somewhere, a pony named Murphy's Law sneezed.
Rarity nodded, in the very rare situation that she actually agreed with her brash and bold-as-her-mane friend. "Indeed. Not to tell you how to parent or anything, darling, but I don't see the harm in it. I let Sweetie Belle have a small glass on special occasions. Our parents do not mind."
Twilight smiled. "Well, sure. Why not? As long as you're with me and I can safely monitor you, I suppose it wouldn't hurt."
With a wide smile, Rarity poured another glass for Spike, reaching it out to him with her magic.
Before Spike could grasp the glass with a grin, it suddenly pulled away in a lavender glow replacing the blue. He pouted and looked to Twilight, who was suddenly very stern. "Only when I'm here, Spike. If I find out you were drinking alcohol with anypony or anywhere else, a certain dragon is going to be in a lot. Of. Trouble."
Spike quickly nodded. Easy enough, he thought. I’ve heard and read the stories about what alcohol can do to people... I won't let this become a habit.
Satisfied, Twilight finally levitated the glass into his hands. Spike quickly and eagerly took a sip.
The rest of their group watched as he pulled it back with a smack of his lips after a second. Spike's brow furrowed. He had read about what alcohol was supposed to be like before, and this wasn't really it.
Rarity grinned at the dragon. "Well? Tell us, darling, how is it?"
Spike scratched the side of his head with one claw. "I'unno. Bubbly. It's got a good flavor. I thought alcohol was supposed to be really harsh going down?"
Applejack chuckled a little. "Shoot, Spike. It's wine, not Vodka," she took a hearty sip of her own.
Starlight nodded. "What Applejack means is that wine is definitely not like most alcohols you've probably heard about. There are a lot of harsher drinks out there that really burn when going down and take a while to enjoy, but everypony loves wine for its flavor."
Spike swished the wine glass around a few times and took another sip. A smile came to his lips. "I like it."
~*~*~*~*~
A few hours, a glass of wine, and many snucken wine coolers later, Spike was very dizzy. He took another sip from the bottle and giggled as Rarity talked to Trixie about designing a new outfit for her or something. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were locked in their own conversation, and Pinkie had gathered Twilight's attention for a while now. Starlight and Applejack simply sat and put in their two cents every once in a while, enjoying the company.
Twilight nodded to Pinkie's last long-winded sentence. Or was it a question? Pinkie could talk a mile a minute and it was a little hard to keep track of what she was saying sometimes. She glanced at Spike to see how he was doing and saw his flushed face and unfocused eyes. She also saw that somehow, the wine cooler she had allowed him was more full than it was last time.
She quickly glared at Rainbow Dash, who caught her eye and broke the conversation off with Fluttershy, whistling innocently.
"Rainbow! How many of these things did you give him?"
Rainbow stifled her grin. "No idea what you're talking about, Twi'. I blame Rarity. She's probably been passing him them all day."
Rarity sputtered, her own cheeks a little flushed. "Moi? Why I would never endeavor to see our little Spikey drunk! It was obviously Rainbow Dash!"
Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Well, what's done is done."
Spike chose that moment to let loose a massive burp, belching out a torrent of flame that consumed the bowl of salad in the middle of the blanket, making it disappear completely.
Everyone stared at the burnt patchin awe. Even the bowl was gone.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile, in Canterlot...
Princess Celestia nodded sympathetically to the griffin ambassador as he told her about the problems with their increasing population, and lack of available farming land.
"You know I'll do whatever I can to help our closest neighbors, Ambassador Talon. For now we can import salads and fruits while we work on terms of expanding your territory for crop growing. Unfortunately, there are very few meat eaters in Equestria, as I'm sure you know we're a herbivore country, so there's nothing we can provide you with in that direction," Princess Celestia diplomatically explained.
Ambassador Talon smiled. "Any help at all would be a huge blessing, Princess Celestia. If our diets must resort to mostly fruit, we will manage."
Princess Celestia smiled. "Excellent. As I said, I'll begin having food exported immediately. I will need you to return, or perhaps speak to King Bloodbeak about territory negotiations," she chuckled to herself. "I hope you enjoy salad."
It was at that moment that in a tuft of emerald flame, a salad bowl appeared and immediately fell, splattering both of them in a lot of lettuce, a tonne of tomato, oodles of onions, and pounds of parsley.
The ambassador stared at her in shock, almost certain she did this on purpose based on her last comment.
To Celestia's credit, her smile only twitched once.
~*~*~*~*~
Spike and Twilight walked back home by themselves. Starlight had decided to hang out with Trixie some more. The group had disbanded once the sun started to fade behind the horizon.
Well, Twilight walked and Spike stumbled as he leaned on Twilight for support. His head was swimming and he was having trouble concentrating on anything, but he felt very warm inside. very warm. He giggled to himself. "I'm a shpace heaterrr."
Twilight rolled her eyes and pulled Spike ever along, one of her wings draped over his shoulders. "Sure are, Spike."
She opened the castle doors with a key and led him inside, pulling him into the library and placing him at one of the tables. She checked his forehead and looked into his eyes. "You feeling okay?"
Spike nodded, and then shuddered at the sudden movement. "Achtually noo, that made me naushiousosis," he slurred.
Twilight nervously grabbed a trash can in the corner with her magic and levitated it over, placing it next to Spike. "Well, if you need to throw up, make sure to do it in the trash can, right?"
Spike managed a thumbs up as he covered his mouth.
Twilight sighed and shook her head. "I can't believe Rainbow sometimes. What a prank. Get a kid drunk."
Spike's face was turning greener by the second. He barely managed, "Teenager" before leaning over and emptied the contents of his stomach into the trashcan.
Twilight winced and patted his back gently. "There there. Not yet. You don't turn thirteen for another two weeks."
Spike groaned into the trash can and let loose another torrent. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "'felt so goood," he whined. "Whyssit so baad now?"
Twilight simply rubbed his back in sympathy, sad that he was hurting.
After his little episode, Twilight got him a cup of water to taste the bile out of his mouth. He chugged it and breathed heavily, before his face churned.
Twilight's eyes widened as she realized what he was about to do, and quickly moved the trash can out of the way. She had a working theory that Spike couldn't exactly control his fire breath at the moment, and that included the aspect of control of what got sent to Celestia. And she did not want to be responsible for letting her ex-mentor get covered in dragon bile.
Instead, she let her get covered in various library tables and chairs, as Spike consumed them all in a torrent of emerald flame.
~*~*~*~*~
After apologizing to the griffin ambassador for what must have been the twelfth time, Celestia was finally able to get away to her next task: open court. Normally it would have started around noon, but she had to meet with the griffin ambassador as soon as possible.
She sat upon her dias and sighed, before putting on a fake smile, resigned to dealing with nobles bickering over what money should be used where for the next few hours. "Send the first one in."
The unicorn guard at the door nodded, and opened it. He read off the list he hovered in front of him. "Announcing Restore the Diamond Districts Statue and their request for..." he squinted, "Jet Set and Upper Crust."
Celestia resisted the urge to plant her head in her hooves. The first ponies of day court had somehow managed to get their name and request boxes mixed up too. This was not a good sign.
As the two approached, Celestia steeled herself diplomatically.
As soon as Jet Set opened his mouth once he and Upper Crust stopped in front of the throne, Celestia was suddenly attacked by library furniture. Before anypony knew what to do, one of the diarchs of Equestria was trapped under many pounds of wooden tables and chairs.
Celestia's smile turned into a grimace as her horn lit up.
~*~*~*~*~
Twilight carefully walked Spike to his bedroom. He had already somehow managed to burn a few more rooms contents and even the only bowling ball they had in the castle. The final signal was when they were in the kitchen and Spike accidentally sneezed on a knife, so she decided he ought to be in bed before he could accidentally destroy/send anything else to Celestia. She ignored his protests.
Opening the door, she lifted him with her magic and set him gently in bed. She made sure that a garbage can was right next to the bed. "Alright, you should be fine. You'll wake up with a killer head-ache tomorrow, but for now just get some rest."
Spike didn't think that would be too hard. He felt extremely out of it and tired, especially after losing the days food in a fight with a trash can. "O-okay."
Twilight kissed him on the forehead and gave him one last sympathetic and worried look before turning and heading for the door. "I'll be camping outside your door tonight, so if you need anything, just call, okay?"
Spike nodded sleepily. He pulled his blanket up layed on his pillow, facing the bookshelf away from the door, which Twilight closed.
He sniffled and wrinkled his nose as he felt the sudden urge to sneeze. He wrestled with it for a moment, before claiming victory and settling back down.
Or so he thought. The sneeze came out of nowhere, and a jet of emerald flame shot out and managed to hit the wall just above his bookshelf it was so intense.
Unfortunately, Spike had rearranged his bookshelf that morning, sorting them alphabetically rather than size like he had before. He was having trouble finding certain books and comic books based on their size alone. The Playmare magazine was left on top of the book shelf as he forgot to place it back in.
Spike only remembered this ten seconds after the sneeze, and when he did his bloodshot eyes shot open. "Aw horsheapplesh."
~*~*~*~*~
Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia sat in the hall on a couple of cushions that Twilight had procured. Once Celestia learned of Spike's predicament, she was more than happy with the less than desirable seating situation. Private Steel Wing and Sergeant Sun Spear passed them again, once more carrying a table from outside in.
Celestia sipped at the tea Twilight had prepared as she sat outside Spike's door and smiled. "I am relieved to hear this is all that happened. I was expecting Spike had somehow lost control of his fire's magical facilities on his own."
Twilight shook her head. "Thankfully not. I expect he'll regain full function by morning," she sipped at her own tea before smiling slightly. "Well, after the hangover."
Celestia smirked herself and shook her head, amused slightly at the thought of the suffering Spike were to come to. "Poor dragon."
Twilight chuckled as well. "I remember my first experience. Daddy had left a bottle of something out one Hearthswarming and asked Shining to watch me while he and Mom went out for some reason or another. I was probably six at the time. So Shining, being a big brother, instead asks me if I can stay out of trouble while he went to visit Cadence and wish her a merry Hearthswarming real quick," she rolled her eyes and Celestia giggled gently. "And, of course, like any child, I decided I was thirsty, see this big bottle of something on the counter, and decide I need to have it. When Shining got home half an hour later, covered in lipstick might I add, I was on the couch with an empty bottle of something. I don't even remember what it was, but I knew it was a lot stronger than Spike had. That was probably the most miserable Hearthswarming of my life, and Shining got in big trouble," they both laughed.
They sat for another moment, with the only sounds behind the clinking of teacups and the clopping hooves of the two pegasus guards as they returned things to their rightful places.
Princess Celestia spoke up once more. "Would you mind if I talked to him? Perhaps I can alleviate his condition a little."
Twilight twitched her nose. "I almost want to say no, as a lesson about what happens when you drink too much, but I don't like to see him suffer... Also, I could never say no to you."
Princess Celestia smiled warmly at her ex-pupil. "A habit you must break, Twilight. We are equals now. Do not forget that."
Celestia stood and knocked firmly on Spike's door. A groan was the only response. Celestia decided to enter anyways, and found Spike touching himself.
Spike rubbed at his head as he tried to gain some clear semblance of thought. He was extremely tired now as well as drunk. But he couldn't sleep because voices were talking outside, and then knocking.
Suddenly, his vision cleared, as did the throbbing in his head and the boiling in his blood. Instead of being a furnace inside, it felt like somepony were giving him a warm hug. He watched the golden aura work around him, and then recede into the regal white horn. He blinked as he realized who it was connected to, and sat up. "P-princess Celestia!"
Celestia smiled down at the young drake. "Good afternoon, Spike. I've heard you've had a long day."
Spike groaned as he recalled the contents of the past few hours. And then days. "More like a rough couple of days, Celestia," she didn't mind the dropping of her title. Spike was as familiar with her as Twilight was. Twilight was only a child herself when she managed to hatch Spike, so Celestia helped Twilight with the responsibility of raising him. Celestia was almost as much a surrogate mother to him as Twilight was.
As he sat up she noticed his larger frame and pursed her lips. "I see. Would you like to tell me about it?"
And so Spike did. He told her about the allowance, and growing, and his heartbreak at the hooves of Rarity. He kept out the embarrassing tale of the magazine that he had accidentally destroyed. She didn't need to know everything, after all.
Celestia smiled at him once more. "Sounds like quite the adventure. And somehow, I can tell that this is only the beginning."
Spike chuckled to himself. "Yeah. How about you, Princess? How was your day?"
Celestia smirked. "Well, there was a bump here and there, but it was fine."
Spike smiled, eager to return the favor of a listening ear, "Wanna tell me about it?"
Celestia's smirk grew ever wider. "Sure. It started when I was meeting the griffin ambassador, which ended up with salad on my head that had appeared out of nowhere. The only sign of where it came from being an emerald flame. Probably just a freak accident," she looked at him pointedly, and grinned. "Who knows where it could have come from?"
Spike rubbed the back of his neck, smile turning sheepish. "Gee, that's strange."
"Oh, but not the strangest! Oh, no. Later, in day court, I was attacked by furniture. Can you believe it?"
Spike's face grew red. He faintly recalled maybe setting a table or two on fire in the library.
"Oh, but my favorite part?" The princess's voice took a teasing tone. She slid the playmare magazine from under her wing and put it on the bed. "This appearing in front of me and my sister. I don't suppose you know who this could belong to?"
Spike's face was in his claws faster than you could say 'embarrassment'.
Why, he mentally berated himself and the universe.
Celestia's laugh was musical. She regained her composure and ran a hoof gently down his head. "You're growing, Spike. And you're facing many challenges you've never had to before. I was not kidding when I said I believed you would face many more. But know that your friends are with you through these trying times, as am I." She smiled as he looked back up to her. "I know Luna would like to talk to you more too. With everypony by your side, you can't go wrong. Fret not, Spike. You'll get through these Growing Pains."
For a moment, Celestia could have sworn she heard a ding, and someone saying "Roll credits", but she shrugged it off as a trick of the wind.
Spike's expression turned happy once more "Thank you Pr- Celestia."
Celestia yawned and turned for the door. "Now I must bid you adieu. It's already getting far past my bedtime. Running a country is a full time job, you know."
Spike chuckled lightly as he lay down again, resting his head on the pillow. Even if he wasn't plastered anymore, he was still quite tired. "Good night."
"Good night, Spike," and Celestia closed the door.
Spike thought to himself now that he wasn't nearly as burdened by alcohol and thought over what she said. He was going to face some challenges, that was for sure. But he truly believed that with the help of his family and friends, he could do anything.
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When I saw the title of this chapter in immediately thought it said Spike gets laid
oh, crap Spike got caught starring at Pinkie Flank
I cant say I blame him
tse4.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.BdbQxSXFXjqGU6Td1PqguwDUEs&pid=15.1
Oh look, more fourth wall breaking.
I wonder how many is a "few" considering she would have to have one on the anatomy of the teenage dragon to be able to make his talk.
8349362
This talk is going to be about many things in general. Anatomy is going to be a very little part. There's many more things you want to learn about.
Yea,"It Takes A Village", was and is still a great read, and I like what you did with the chapter and the story. Especially the, who raised, Spike, part? It's a team effort with him, and that's not a bad thing.
Big ups for having, Spike, checking out, Trixie and Pinkie! Especially Pinkie! That mare is all types of fun, cute and sexy!
ROFL a Cinemasins reference!
Do dragons have two dragonhoods come getting wings?
Hehehe, ro-
Damnit
Nice continuation on the touching his/her-self joke! Got me again!
The whole bit with Celestia having to deal with everything Spike sent her while still trying to deal with her every day duties was perfect.
A nice, fun chapter.
This is a great story! A lot of "Spike goes through puberty" stories end up stopping after a few chapters but you're keeping it up and I'm happy for that! Plus I love every chapter to bits!
Also that last bit is adorable~!
Oh, don't get discouraged, please! I, personally, adore this story, and I'd hate for it to get abandoned! Already, this story has 110 likes to only 4 dislikes, and I'll signal-boost it next chance I get. Because...wow. This is certainly a fun story about growing up, and definitely not in the conventional way.
And yes. Yes, we noticed that. I've also noticed that you really like using "drake" a lot...similar to the way AJTheRaven loves "polychromatic" to describe Rainbow's mane. :)
I know this isn't the main story, but lots of farms apparently have pigs. Just ship them to the Griffons instead of salads.
8349803 I want to imagine the voice of Fred Savage from the Wonder Years narrating the opening and closing lesson for each chapter of this story.
Knock on wood...
One of these times now, you're going to make that gag, and that's going to be the time it's not actually a gag, I just know it.
8349447
If I was a small horse in small horse land, Pinkie would definitely be my first pick.
8349803
8350495
Danke!
8350697
Glad you like it!
8350741
I'm not going to. I'm very pleased with the feedback I've gotten.
8353704
Even though we don't see them talking in the show I'm going under the assumption that they're somewhat intelligent as nearly every animal in Equestria (including pets to an extent) is
8360782
Well now that you've given me the idea~
Damn, was half expecting Spike to call Celestia mom, but can't have everything, great chapter.