Not bad, though you could use an editor/proofreader to help catch some errors. It wasn't pervasive, but there were some here and there.
That aside, the story is set up to go in various directions. The next chapter will clarify a lot, and determine a lot about what the story will be over time. Simple but interesting enough starting point. I'll keep an eye on it.
8309481 Sadly I wish I could get an editor or proofreader, but I can't, I'm on my own when it comes to this story, as I am it's creator and it's editor (a somewhat slow one at that), so I'm only able to do my best with what I've got at the moment, but as you said there were some errors, if you could please show me said errors, then that would be appreciated, if not, that is also fine. And thank you for the feed back, it is very appreciated.
I was lucky enough to find someone to help me edit, so you may have your own luck. Before that happened, I was flying solo as well.
From personal experience of working on your own, consider giving yourself a couple full days between finishing a chapter, then re-reading it to error check before posting. Takes some more patience, but I find that giving yourself that gap of time without looking at the piece in question lets your eyes catch a lot of stuff you'd been blind to previously. It is by no means perfect of course, but I found it helped me a fair bit.
Not bad, though you could use an editor/proofreader to help catch some errors. It wasn't pervasive, but there were some here and there.
That aside, the story is set up to go in various directions. The next chapter will clarify a lot, and determine a lot about what the story will be over time. Simple but interesting enough starting point. I'll keep an eye on it.
8309481
Sadly I wish I could get an editor or proofreader, but I can't, I'm on my own when it comes to this story, as I am it's creator and it's editor (a somewhat slow one at that), so I'm only able to do my best with what I've got at the moment, but as you said there were some errors, if you could please show me said errors, then that would be appreciated, if not, that is also fine. And thank you for the feed back, it is very appreciated.
8309503
Give a try with this group: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
I was lucky enough to find someone to help me edit, so you may have your own luck. Before that happened, I was flying solo as well.
From personal experience of working on your own, consider giving yourself a couple full days between finishing a chapter, then re-reading it to error check before posting. Takes some more patience, but I find that giving yourself that gap of time without looking at the piece in question lets your eyes catch a lot of stuff you'd been blind to previously. It is by no means perfect of course, but I found it helped me a fair bit.
8309512
Thank you for the suggestion. I appreciate any help I can get.
i like where this is going
Story seems good, I'll plop it in my favs and stalk it for another update. Its good and looks promising so far, keep it up I expect good things