Chapter 2 - A Modern Day Frankenreins
It was a rare day in Canterlot.
The sort of day where the very foundations of Equestrian culture rumbled and shifted.
The sort of day where ancient plots either came to fruition, or more likely crumbled to oblivion.
Princess Celestia was having a bad day.
The crying shame was that it had started out so well. Luna’s night court was finally starting to pick up enough traction that more than a wingful of ponies had shown up, and none of them had been the ungrateful and foalish nobles that had decided to try and sneak petitions that Celestia had already denied past the Lunar Alicorn, a fact that had left her sister smiling all the way to her chambers. Then after a pleasant breakfast she had been fortunate enough to run into a school group taking an early tour through the Long Hallways. It was always a delight to lead young foals through the years which had been immortalised in stained glass, sculpture, and paint, adding her own anecdotes to the teacher’s nervous lecture, which had the added benefit of allowing her to avoid Lord’s Court for just another hour.
Unfortunately all such things had to come to an end, and it was with a teary eye and a sorrowful wave she allowed herself to be dragged away to court by Kibitz as the foals either waved her farewell, or blew raspberries at her seneschal.
The day only got worse from there on out.
By the third petitioner it seemed that all the regular suspects that had so plagued Luna came to the shocking realisation that the Celestial Diarchs talked to each other about their work day, and armed with this revelation they had decided on a new tactic to push their pettiest of agendas.
Well new was something of a misnomer, their “newest” tactic was one with which they had practiced since Equestria’s founding.
Going back to testing the Solar Alicorn’s immortality, specifically the part that said she could not die from boredom-induced aneurysms nor frustration-inspired cardiac arrest, as she was forced to listen to petitions from the day before with some insignificant change to their wording so their repetition could be justified in the minds of their makers.
Oh, to return to the halcyon days where these pompous fools had thought to try their stupidity against Luna. Celestia may have lost sleep to her sister’s occasional Royal Canterlot Voice empowered rants, but such things always brought a smile to her face as she settled back into her pillows with the echoes of centuries old curses bouncing around the castle walls as if the thousand years of banishment had never happened.
Sadly it was not to be, even the Solar alicorn’s power had limits, one of which was the ability to traverse the river of time without the risk of reality destroying consequences, otherwise she may have gone back in time several decades and quietly encouraged Duke Schmancy Hat’s mother to have an abortion with her royal blessing.
There were some ponies who were simply blights upon her sanity.
And so, on and on it dragged. The same interminable nobles presenting the same self-serving, short-sighted, or just inane proposals to the point where Celestia had to hold herself from imperceptibly checking the hidden clock to see how long she had left.
It was broken anyway, no matter how she looked at it the minute hand refused to move.
It was only a casual look out of the window overlooking the Cantering plains as she tried to identify an odd shrieking, echo that allowed her to see the looming build up of wild weather over the Everfree. A storm which threatened to creep up the mountainside, washing away bridges, collapsing tunnels, and thusly giving her the perfect excuse to escape this tenth circle of Tartarus.
Now she only had to wait for Obfuscating Legalese to finish his client’s latest petition. A task made all the easier by the plans that were now running through her head as the burgundy unicorn finished his impassioned prattling.
“I am dreadfully sorry my little ponies,” her voice betrayed no impatience as always, any sign of displeasure would allow all of them to descend upon the unlucky herd member like a school of prestige hungry piranhas. “But I am afraid I must end Lord’s Court here. A matter of some urgency has come to my attention and I must make sure that our preparations are all in place.”
Rising from her throne, her oricalcum horseshoes clicked softly against the marble floor as she stretched to her full height, the epitome of grace and regality.
Which is why fate chose that moment to launch a scroll into her face with a burst of green fire.
* * * * *
The chariot had barely touched the ground before Celestia launched herself from it, the still pouring rain hissing and spitting as it boiled in the sudden heat of her frantic aura, leaving the group of royal healers to flounder in the cloud of steam she left in her wake as if they were seafoam scattered behind the prow of a ship.
The few ponies in Ponyville General’s waiting room were utterly unprepared for her entrance and many of them shied away, or dove over friends and family at the thunderous noise of their solar monarch crashing through the frame where the doors had once been. The calamitous noise of flaming hooves stomping upon now shattered and sundered tiles barely fading away before the Royal Canterlot Voice replaced it.
“WHERE IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE?”
A hush fell over the entire room, the royal physicians cringing back from their monarch who stood stunned in front of the nurses station, as a clipboard bounced from her snout.
“This is a hospital, we have patients trying to rest and recover.” A white hoof caught the falling clipboard before the pink maned nurse waved it at Celestia like it was a sword that could slay any threat. “You will be quiet or I will throw you out myself.”
Slowly, ever so slowly, the Solar Alicorn’s head lowered down until she could stare directly into the nurse’s eyes. Her lashing aurora mane hid her expression from the view of the gathered ponies, all of whom tried to cower further away from her as she loomed over Redheart.
“Apologies, my little pony, may you tell me which room Princess Twilight Sparkle is in?” The restraint in Celestia’s voice was almost drowned out by the sudden exhalation that accompanied the question as ponies started moving again now that the solar powered inferno had died down, or at least been restrained enough that the princess was no longer suffering from a literal hot temper. Although nopony dared to bring attention to the embers that were still jumping from her mane and tail.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle is currently in room 311 and her mystery stallion is in room 312,” Redheart answered politely as she stepped out from behind the station, gesturing for the white robed physicians to follow her, the ponies double checking their saddlebags while Celestia took up the rear of the procession. Her calm face betraying none of her confusion at the nurse’s statement as she muttered it back to herself under her breath.
“‘Twilight’s mystery stallion’, what event have you gotten yourself embroiled in today, my student?”
* * * * *
Something was wrong with her bed, the mattress was too hard against her side, the sheets too scratchy against her feathers and fur, and the blanket felt as if it wasn’t there at all leaving her exposed to the cold air of the night.
Twilight Sparkle shifted awkwardly in her now uncomfortable bed, each motion only pushing her further into the waking world. One unlucky shift sent a spring jolting up into the pit of her wing, the stabbing pain causing her entire body to convulse into wakefulness with a shriek, her eyes flying open at the rough poke into such a sensitive spot.
Before her back had even cleared the mattress a pair of hooves grabbed at her withers and forced her back down against the rough bed, her yelp of laughter turning to a scream of fear as she thrashed against whatever was holding her down. Her eyes blurry with sleep and terror.
“Horse apples, she’s convulsing,” she couldn’t make out the words, only that somepony was speaking near her, and the panicked tone of their voice only spurred her to thrash harder, one of her forehooves striking something metallic as she lashed out. “Somepony help me hold her down.”
Another pair of hooves joined the first as Twilight struggled even harder, her rear legs tangling themselves in the thin blanket as she bucked and thrashed against her captors.
Suddenly the hooves were ripped away from her, replaced instead with something that wrapped around her completely filling her eyes with yellow, and her ears with a melodic chiming. Her new restraints lifting her body from the bed before she was surrounded with white, something soft and warm stroking her back.
“Calm, Twilight Sparkle, you are not in any danger here.” Celestia murmured reassuringly into Twilight’s ear as she held her in her hooves, large white wings enveloping the smaller alicorn as she wept into Celestia’s coat.
“P-P-Princess?”
“Yes, Twilight, I’m here, you’re safe,” Celestia kept her voice as low as possible, even as one wing moved slowly up and down Twilight’s back, teasing out clumps of matted fur and smoothing down errant strands of mane and tail.
Gradually the purple alicorn found herself relaxing under Celestia’s ministrations, her ragged breathing evening out with each wing stroke while Twilight attempted to burrow further into the white alicorn’s coat.
“Princess, where I am?” Her question was muffled by the layer of snot encrusted white fur
“We’re in the Ponyville medical centre, my student,” white wings unravelled, before Celestia’s golden magic gently placed Twilight back into the medical bed, leaving her propped up against the headboard. “You were struck by a bolt of wild lightning. Your friends Applejack and Rainbow Dash found you passed out on the fringes of the Everfree, alongside an unknown stall-”
“Please don’t tell me it’s here.” All of the disappeared tension returned as she yanked the blankets over her barrel as if she was a foal trying to hide from the Olden Mare. Her purple aura sputtering weakly as she attempted to force energy through her burned horn, before golden light wrapped around the appendage, cutting off her magic.
“You are in no danger here, Twilight Sparkle.” Once again Celestia’s wing set to gently stroking her students back as the purple alicorn struggled to breath through her panic. Celestia’s other wing motioned for the clustered physicians to back away, the ponies disappeared back into their busy work, despite the fact their eyes keep flicking back to the two princesses. “I would never knowingly place you in any danger, my student,” a brief choking laugh interrupts her, before Celestia continued unabated, “and as far as I can tell, despite his monstrous appearance, this stallion is the victim of some grand cruelty, rather than an abomination to be feared and despised, why does he scare you so?”
“It, he, it just looked so wrong.” Another great shuddering breath. “Like somepony made it from spare parts and then threw it away because he didn’t work right, and, and the worst part is he was still breathing!” Neither princess noticed as the medical staff flinched at Twilight’s sudden shrieking, ears flattening against skulls as she continued. “What kind of pony could do something like this? What kind of pony would want to live through something like that? Are we even going to be able to help him, or are we going to have to watch him drift away without being able to do anything"
Celestia’s wing never stopped it’s ministrations as her magic floated a cloth over her student’s face, carefully wiping away snot and tears. “Twilight Sparkle, my dear student, even if this stallion were to never wake again we will treat him with kindness until such time as he passes on, surely you would not think that’s doing nothing?” Celestia pressed on as Twilight shrunk back into her pillows. “If his wounds were to render him a cripple beyond any healing, if his mind is so broken that he may never regain a foal’s intellect, if he were to fall to depression at what he has lost; would treating him with the kindness and dignity that any of our little ponies deserve, regardless of how much it helps him, be doing nothing?” The white alicorn clambered back to her hooves, the wing that had been stroking Twilight’s back settling against her side.
“I wish I could stay longer to reassure you, Twilight, but I do not feel that Ponyville is fully equipped to deal with this case. However if you feel strong enough for more visitors, your friends should be waiting outside.” The purple mare’s almost frantic nodding caused a chuckle to slip from Celestia’s lips. “Very well, I’ll send them in, if you promise you’ll listen to Silverheart and Nightingale whilst you are here.”
Twilight watched as the solar alicorn disappeared through the door to her room, the larger princess’s silhouette showing against the door’s glass, before it was flung open and the multicoloured blur of her friends came barrelling into the room. Thoughts of the mystery stallion were abandoned as Twilight was quickly surrounded by her friends, the five mares crowding around her bed.
* * * * *
Blueblood sighed as yet another form fell onto the sea of parchment his desk was slowly being transmuted into. He could’ve sworn that the old mahogany was creaking under the weight of paper, ink, and years as it desperately tried to hold back the ocean of bureaucracy lest it sink behind the surface like the lost city of Hys.
Oh it was lucky for some; his aunt could simply get up and trot away at any point, as she had already done, leaving the interminable task of organising the disaster relief to her nephew alongside the public backlash to any injuries, or heavens forbid, any deaths.
Ink and quill danced in his blue magic as he scanned over damage estimates and guard reports, his brain already whirling with thoughts of press conferences and exclusive interviews, anything to keep the public confidence up. Especially after his aunt’s very public flight from the castle down to Ponyville had already caused a panic that more ancient horrors had awoken to terrorise Equestria.
Blue magic snatched up another report, this one on the projected damage estimates to the winding railway, before ejecting it to the dismissal pile. How there were already damage estimates was beyond him, especially seeing as the tempest still hadn’t been broken up. The image of surveyponies flying through the storm to record the devastation left behind and leaving any citizens they found to the maelstrom’s mercy briefly rose into his mind, before it was ejected with a groan. Hopefully there wasn’t going to be a repeat of the aftermath of the Wedding Invasion and this was just some overly-eager or cynical construction business hoping to get a headstart on the competition by submitting their estimates before doing any surveys.
One white ear perked at the soft noise of the door opening, hidden as it was behind the mountains of paper, before a silver furred and charcoal maned earth pony trotted into view.
“Ah, Obsequience,” Blueblood latched on to the presence of his bâtpony, as if he was adrift at sea and only this silver piece of flotsam could keep him afloat. “Please tell me you have good news.”
“That depends on your definition of good news, sir.” Long-Suffering Obsequience, or ‘Silver Service’ as his birth certificate would claim, pulled a tightly furled scroll from somewhere in his cropped mane. “Your Aunt has sent a letter informing you that she will be back in Canterlot within the hour, she asks that you alert the royal healers to an incoming patient, arrange a press conference for her return, and compile a pertinent dossier so that she may answer any questions raised.”
“Meanwhile I am publicly seen to be doing nothing about this crisis, yet again.” Blueblood slumped into his desk as a tired snort escaped his lungs.
“I would question whether sequestering yourself in your office and drowning in parchment would allow the public to see you doing anything about this crisis, sir? But you know best.” Another, more powerful, snort sent forms and reports fluttering like papery butterflies before Prince Blueblood heaved himself out of his seat.
“Of course I do, Silver Service, that is why the papers lambast me with comparisons to my aunt and her student every chance they dare to take; it is doubtlessly simple jealousy of my superior intellect.” Blueblood made a noise that could have been described as laughter, if laughter was supposed to be a joyless thing. “Shall we see if Raven is willing to let us do her job while she does mine?”
“As you wish, Sir.”
* * * * *
Most ponies would think that being one of the few royal physicians would be a glamorous job. Quarters in Canterlot Castle, working directly for the princesses, treating foreign diplomats of rare poisons or clumsy assassins.
In truth, beyond the very rare gryphon honour duels that the tercel ambassadors inevitably wound up forcing the guards into, or the more common disasters that Equestria was host to, most of the castle’s retained healers had possibly one of the most boring jobs imaginable.
Being responsible for the physical well-being of a growing number of immortals might have been prestigious, but they were immortals; if anything was threatening their health it was usually going to be far, far beyond the capabilities of the white robed medical sages that lurked within the castle’s rather dusty infirmaries.
As such the healers often found their time mostly occupied with the various insane obsessions of the nobles, denying their demands for the newest health or beauty fads that only medicine or surgery could satisfy. Either that or fixing training injuries from guard recruits coming in with hangovers from the previous night before forcing themselves through the drill exercises with disastrous results.
So when a letter arrived in the hooves of Prince Blueblood and his bâtpony, signed by Celestia herself, requesting that they prepare a room for a pony grievously injured in the wild storm that had passed through the Cantering Plains, even after she’d already taken six royal healers down to Ponyville earlier, the medical wing was suddenly host to a level of activity that hadn’t been seen since the Wedding Invasion. Dust sheets were removed and hidden away, machines that went ping plugged in, IV bags full of mysterious liquids were primed to fill the veins of their unsuspecting victim, and Director Bleeding Heart drank enough coffee to keep him awake and alert for the next century.
Now all they could was wait and fret as the golden speck that was Celestia’s chariot grew ever closer.
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Redheart won't take shit from anypony....
8212328
Best comment of all time.
8212328
All that jumped out at me was “machines that go ping”. To what does the Lost City of Hys refer? All I can come up with is the novel “Her”.
8213179
“The Sunken City of Ys”
It’s not remarkably common as Sunken City Legends/Myths go, but it has shown up a lot more than you’d think. It’s just a shame that Atlantis seems to be the go to Sunken City these days.
8213306
In British terms, a “batman” is a valet (sort of). The accent may just be there to indicate that the term was taken from Prench.
8213306
In British terms a “batman” is somewhat like a valet. The accent may just be there to indicate the term’s Prench etymology.
8213306
Bâtpony, in this context is taken from batman, which come from the following definition.
The accent mark and lack of a hyphen are what defines it from bat-pony, or nocturne which is the more commonly used name for Lunar Pegasi.
8213350
Pretty much, although the accent marks also serves to separate it from bat-pony, or nocturne in this case. A little visual trick in this case.
Hm, I’m definitely liking where this is going. Celestia is absolutely adorable as she should be under the circumstances, and it seems like you are doing some interesting things with Blueblood which is always a good sign.
Now to wait for the former car to appear properly.
8213379
You’re either referring to the fact you did the cover-art for “Brimstone & Gold”, or you made fan-art already, and because my fragile ego cannot support the weight of that second option without crumbling, I’m going to assume it’s the first.
In which case, I love that piece and it was one of the reference pics I sent to Tulip for the cover (alongside a couple of Buddy-Cop movie posters, and other assorted emotion/colour swatches). Although I do prefer “Dream of Many”, “Arrow Flight”, and the “Strider” series (I get a very T’au-ish vibe from the striders, despite the CSM allegiance, but me and my Space Commies) for just how smooth they look. It’s really damned nice.
Nice to see a growing number of stories is a secondary character but NOT the antagonist for the sake of having one. I’m curious to see the other ponies reactions.