Fallout Equestria — S.A.T.

by Faindragon

Judgement

“And that’s how I got my cutie mark.”

I couldn’t help myself; the laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. “You got your cutie mark by repeatedly hammering a screwdriver against a radio?”

We had walked through the wasteland for what felt like days, but couldn’t be more than a couple of hours, before we had stopped at the house where we now sat around the kitchen table. Through the window behind Bolt, I could see the barren landscape that had followed us from Green Valley.

Bolt rolled her eyes before she gave into laughter herself. “It only took a couple of swings, and that radio started working like a charm! It still works, actually. My father uses it every day.” She pursed her lips for a second and then continued talking. “I wonder how I actually fixed the radio. You think it wouldn’t have worked after the beating I gave it.”

“Why wouldn’t it work?”

“Bashing a screwdriver against a radio would normally break it, not fix it,” the unicorn deadpanned. “I even checked it a few years ago next to a normal radio to see if I’d somehow managed to get it right. But the one I beat up was destroyed on the inside. Its power source wasn’t even connected to anything!”
“So how was it able to work?” I asked, taking a bite on one of the vegetable before me. “I mean, maybe what you did got some stuff into place, but how could it work if it shouldn’t have been able to turn on?”

She tossed her hooves up in the air and shrugged. “I don’t know! That’s just how stuff works for me. There was this one time I was fixing my father’s shotgun, and everything was perfect, but it still didn’t work until I took a hammer to it! And I hit the barrel, too. That shouldn’t have worked! I mean, if I had hit the drum, it might have fastened together better, but the barrel?”

“... The drum?”

The unicorn sighed and floated up one of her own vegetables, starting to gnaw on it. “It’s the place you put the bullets in.” she said between the chews. “And that makes me think I should start teaching you about guns.”

Looking away from the unicorn, I started rubbing my foreleg. “You know, I was thinking that I could just not have to learn how to use it...”

I didn’t have to look at her to know that she was rolling her eyes. “Cogwheel, I’ve told you before; you’re either going to learn how to use a gun or die because you never knew how to defend yourself.”

Spitfire sighed. “I think Bolt is right, Cogwheel. It would be better for you how to learn how to use a gun. She paused for a second. Purely for self-defense, of course. You could learn to shoot it, but that doesn’t mean you have to use it to kill anypony.”

I would never want to use a gun to kill somepony!

“Not even raiders?” she asked. “Not even with all you know about them?”

I... I don’t think so. Even knowing as much as I do, I couldn’t take a pony’s life, raider or not.

“And if Frost Mane was about to shoot Dust or Precious, and you had the ability to stop him, could you still not bring yourself to do so?”

... I can’t say for cert--

“You must know how to answer these questions, Cogwheel.” Spitfire said firmly. “You must ask yourself what needs to be done, not whether or not your decisions are good or bad. This world isn’t one where good and bad are weighed against each other; here, it’s about survival. You might not ever kill a single pony in your lifetime, but if you don’t learn how to save your own life, all you’ve lived for so far will be for naught. You’ll never get your memories back.”

“You... You’re right...”

“It took you that long to admit it, eh?” said Bolt, nudging me in the shoulder. “Come on, then! We’re going to get this over with now so we have time to find somewhere to sleep. Each second we--” She stopped for a moment and cocked her head, floating the remainder of her carrot to her mouth and taking a bite before continuing. “-- I wait for you to think about something, that’s another second we could’ve used to teach you or find somewhere to stay.”

I nodded and quickly finished the fairly fresh carrot I had started on myself. “Maybe we should hold off on the teaching for now, then? Until we’ve stopped for the night, that is.”

“You aren’t getting away from this, Cogwheel.” Bolt chuckled softly. “I’m going to teach you some basics now so that you don’t get caught blindsided if we come across something on our way out.” She smiled at me. “So... Onto something I consider pretty important; how many bullets can you shoot before you have to reload?”

I went to look down quickly, but Bolt grabbed my head with her magic and yanked it back up. “No sneak peaks,” she added.

“Uh... Five? Six?” I guessed. “No more than seven.”

Sighing, Bolt scanned the room with her eyes, still holding my head in place with her magic. Opening up a couple of cupboards, she found what she was looking for and, releasing my head, floated down seven glasses. “Draw, aim, and fire,” she said, looking at me.

I rose from the floor and, as quickly as I could without biting down the trigger and shooting myself, pulled up the gun. Aiming down the sight, I fired four shots at the first four glasses, hitting two of them, plinking off the third, and completely missing the fourth. As I aimed down the sight to line up the fifth shot, the gun was violently tugged out of my grip.

“I don’t remember you being quite such a lousy shot,” Bolt deadpanned as she floated the gun away from me.

“Hey! What are you doing with--?”

“You’ve got how many bullets left?” she hissed, pressing the end of the gun against my head

“Bolt, what--?”

“How many?” she asked again, shoving my head forward more with the end of the gun.

My heart beat faster as I looked up at the unicorn. She glared down at me, wearing an expression of straight disinterest. I could hear a flick come from behind me, much like the sound the gun made before it was ready to be fired.

“Two!” Spitfire said hastily. “The gun has space for six bullets, and you’ve shot four. Say two!”

“Two!” I blurted out, sighing in relief as I felt the gun leave the back of my head. I jumped at the sudden sound of her firing the gun and a glass exploding on the counter.

“Don’t forget that,” she said, tossing the gun back onto the center of the table. “I’m not kidding when I say that that could mean the difference between life and death out there.”

“You were about to shoot me!” I glared at the unicorn, who sat at the other side of the table completely unaffected.

“Now that you know how many bullets are in your gun, you need to know how to reload it.” She completely ignored my accusation and slid the revolver across the table to me. “See if you can figure it out before I have to tell you.”

My eyes jolted between the unicorn and the revolver on the table, to finally stop at the latter. Taking a deep breath, I took hold of the weapon. Twisting and turning it in my hooves, I tried to figure out what Bolt did last time to open it up. After a while, I managed to pop the chamber loose, and a bunch of metal pieces fell onto the table.

“Did I break something?” Looking closer to the pieces on the table, I realized they were the same kind of metal that had fallen out when Bolt reloaded the gun back at the workshop, except for the ring that connected the pieces now. Back then, they were all loose.

“It took you one minute and sixteen seconds to figure out how to open the chamber. That could have been much better, but you did much better than I thought you would.” Before I could object to anything, she continued. “And no, you didn’t break it.” Bolt sighed as her horn flared up and she floated another one of the cluster of pieces up. “This is called a luna clip. It holds all of the bullets together so you don’t have to fumble as much with reloading. That is, if you could even reload without the clip.” She snickered quietly and handed me the clip. “Go ahead, give it a shot.”

“I just push these small metal things into the holes?” I asked, fumbling as I tried to pick up the luna clip with my hooves.

“They’re called bullets, Cogwheel. And, yes, you do put them in the holes of the gun’s chamber. That’s kind of what reloading is meant to do.”

I cursed under my breath, partially at Bolt for her quips and partially at me for my ignorance. After fumbling with the clip for a good minute, I finally got it in place and closed the chamber again. “Done.”

“Good,” Bolt said, grinning from ear to ear. Her horn flared open, the revolver opened up before my eyes and the luna clip fell out again. “Now do it again.”

I looked between the revolver, laying neatly next to the luna clip, and Bolt. “You can’t be serious.”

“Do it again,” she repeated. “Faster.”

Sighing, I reached out after the revolver. This time I could open it and place the circle of rounds in it faster, but Bolt wasn’t satisfied, which I realized when she opened the chamber and emptied it again.

“Better, but not yet there. Once more.”

“Shouldn’t we--?”

The unicorn silenced me with a hard glare. “I want to be certain that you can protect yourself out there,” she growled. “So you will continue reloading this revolver until I tell you to stop. Understood?”

“Yes,” I mumbled, picking up the guns and ammunition again. Fumbling slightly with the rounds, I got them in position faster this time. Not fast enough for Bolt, tough. She emptied it once again and placed it before me.

When it takes this long, I thought, quickly opening the chamber and placing the rounds therein. I doubt I will ever be able to use it.

“That’s enough,” Bolt said, tugging the revolver from my grip. “You won’t be breaking any records, but that last reload was probably quick enough for anything we’ll come across.” The unicorn stood and tucked the revolver back into my leg holster.

“You make it sound like you know we’re going to find something worth shooting.” I remarked as she placed the saddlebags over my back.

“There’s no doubt that we will.” She quickly glanced around the room one last time. “Remember, Cogwheel, this is the Wasteland.”

“And you aren’t armed?” I followed her out into the hallway again, where she stopped and looked between the stairs, the second door and the exit, seemingly torn on what to do.

With a snort she stepped towards the exit. “Of course I’m armed. You don’t actually think that I’m trusting you to protect me out here, do you?”

“But I haven’t seen you carry any weapons. How--” I stopped in the middle of a step, the words dying on my lips as I looked into a gun barrel, nearly as thick as my eye, pointing directly at me. I felt my heart skip a beat.

“Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there,” Bolt cooed softly, moving the barrel away from my eyes. “I carry this li’l devil within reach wherever I go. Wouldn’t go anywhere without it.”

The sleek, dark purple weapon had a few features I recognized from the revolver I had just trained with, but there were a lot of differences between the weapons. The barrel I had just had stared into was nearly twice as big, and I couldn’t see anything that proved that there was a chamber anywhere. Overall, the weapon seemed more compact, and it lacked the mouth-grip that would have allowed me to use it.

“Father bought it for me after I went into the ruins for the first time. Said I had to learn how to protect myself out there.” She smiled fondly at the gun. “I’ve kept it close ever since, and it’s saved my life on more than one occasion. But enough about that.” The gun seemingly disappearing behind her as she whirled around and started to walk again. “It would be great if we got somewhere today, don’t you think?”

How... My eyes were still locked at the spot the gun had been a second ago, and it took me a moment to realize what she had just said. Blinking, I snapped out of my trance and hurried up until I walked next to her. And together, we continued our journey in the wasteland.

{O-o}

My eyes searched among the young stallions and mares standing on the field, their coats almost glowing from the light of the sun. They were separated into two teams by their headbands -- the light blue of Lightning against the black of Storm -- and stood in two lines facing each other. It was hard to miss my son in Lightning’s line; he stood nearly a head over everyone else on the field. My heart swelled with pride seeing him standing there.

The referee soon flew in and was welcomed by a rumbling cheer from the audience. Between his wings was a small, red ball -- the match ball, the ball used to score in the game. Calling forward the team captains from both teams, a slender, light-blue pegasus from Lightning and a bulky black one from Storm, to greet each other, he gave the signal for both teams to take flight.

The cheering from the audience erupted again as the sound of twenty wing pairs beating as one filled the arena. Putting down the ball, the referee gave the signal that started the final match of this year’s Flight Ball season, and twenty pegasi dove towards the ball in the middle of the field.

Over two thousand ponies had gathered to watch the game, most of them dressed up in their teams colours to show their support. It was like the earlier days, when I had been watching the same sport with my son next to me, cheering on team Lightning, which he now played for. So much has changed since then.

True, the world had changed much in the past as well, but not as it had done now. Not like this.

Equestria was at war. Each day the radio would report about the advancement of our troops and the prices they paid for doing so. Nearly a year had passed since the massacre at Little Horn, and the bloody retort following directly after. Celestia had resigned shortly after, leaving the throne to her sister and plunging Equestria into a time of uncertainty.

But the government, with Princess Luna and the ministries she had founded leading the way, had equaled, if not excelled, the Equestria ruled by Celestia.

I sighed and looked over the audience. The change hadn’t been only for the better. The country I loved had been scarred by the war, for each dispute between ponies and Zebras caused the army to send more ponies into the fight.

Not even at a game of Flight Ball did the army stay away. Among the audience, standing silently with faces akin to stone, stood a group of armed guards around an earth pony and a pegasus. The pegasus was looking excitedly at the game, and the earth pony only lazily followed what was happening, speaking instead with one of the guards.

Applejack, head of the Ministry of Wartime Technology, and Rainbow Dash, head of the Ministry of Awesome, were enjoying a lazy Saturday with the Flight Ball season final.

Panning over the rest of the audience, I could make out other members of the army, without a doubt here to find new recruits if their uniforms had anything to say about it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Maybe I was just overthinking it. Maybe they were just here to enjoy the game and pass some time.

A loud cheer rung over the field as Storm scored, followed by the booing from Lightning’s supporters. Looking back at the game, and seeing that my son was the one to start the ball for Lightning, I took a deep breath and decided not to think about the army’s presence here. After all, he wasn’t old enough to sign up for the frontline without my permission. And that was a permission I wouldn’t give him.

I couldn’t help but smile as Storm’s defending players were thrown aside like bowling pins by my son -- who had passed the ball to another player -- and two other pegasi that together made way for the ball carrier. It didn’t take long before the score was evened out, and the booing and cheering was aimed at the other team.

“Your son is agile for his size,” Jackal noted from my side. “Maybe Lightning will be able to defend the cup after all this year.”

“He can’t keep the entire team up by himself. It’s a team sport, after all.” I smiled slightly as I followed the players with my eyes, the pride of my son causing my chest to swell yet again. “Your daughter is doing good out there as well. She must be one of our best shooters.”

“Nine out of ten shots hitting home,” She sighed. I could hear the motherly pride in the mare’s voice. “Star shooter in the league for two years running, and with this game she’ll defend that title!”

Half of the stadium erupted with cheering as Lightning moved in to take the lead, but in the turn of a hoof it was the other half’s turn to cheer instead as Storm cut off the attack. Looking at the players as they lined up for Storm’s start of the ball, my eyes landed on the ministry mares on the other side of the field. The rainbow-maned pegasus had her eyes locked on Lightning’s attack chain, mostly on my son. She was waving her hoof dismissively at the earth pony who was trying to talk with her -- angrily, if her body language had any say in it.

“Where are you going?” Jackal eyed me as I rose from my place.

“I’m going to go and talk with my son,” I said, not taking my eyes away from the ministry mares.

“But the time isn’t up yet. There’s still ten minutes left.”

I glanced at the clock at the end of the stadium, before I sat down again, my eyes going back to the cerulean mare at the other side of the stadium. It wouldn’t be the first time that my son would be given an enlisting offer from the army, and it would most certainly not be the last. But what if Rainbow Dash decided to talk with him personally? What would happen if his idol herself asked him to join the army?

I scowled and turned my eyes back to the field where my son stood together with the rest of the attacking trio, preparing for yet another assault towards Storm’s goal. The sight of him, the thought of him being sent off to war, awoke in me a sorrow I thought I had repressed.

“The war won’t take you as well,” I growled between gritted teeth, wiping a tear away from my eye. “Not while I’m alive.”

{o.O}

“Cogwheel, what are you doing?”

I blinked in surprise as the vision of the arena faded away, the bland reality taking its place. Gone was the green grass around the stadium. Gone was the audience that had cheered the teams flying high above to victory. Gone was the warming sun against my coat.

All of it was replaced by the cold reality of the Wasteland. The grass had died and withered over the entire field. A hollow shell was all that remained of the stadium, and even it had started to falter under the effects of time and weather; parts of it lay scattered on the dead grass. And as I looked up to the sky high above me, the ever-present cloud cover obscured the sun from warming the earth around me.

But what I had felt during the memory was still affecting me. I felt anger towards the ones wishing to bring my son to the front line. Fear that they would succeed in doing so. But the feeling hurting me the most was the sorrow. The painful, heart aching sorrow of what I had lost in the war -- something I couldn’t even fully remember.

“Cogwheel!”

“I was here,” I whispered, my voice thick. “I... I think it was during the war. My son was playing something called Flight Ball. And...” I felt the tears running down my cheeks as I reached out with a hoof towards the arena. “It was sunny. At first, everything was fine, but then...”

“Are you okay?” Bolt looked at me with wide eyes. “What happened?”

I took a deep breath. With the exhalation the fear and anger disappeared, leaving even more room for the sorrow. “It’s silly, really.” I whispered and sat down on my haunches, dropping my hoof and wiping my eyes dry. “Nothing that matters now.”

“Oh, it is something alright. Else you wouldn’t be sitting here crying your eyes out.” Bolt sat down next to me, her voice a mismatch of annoyance and consolation. “Spill it, Cryborg.”

Her tone brought a thin smile to my face. Sniveling, I wiped my nose. “I looked over the audience. In the memory, that is. I mean, the past me--”

I could practically hear how Bolt rolled her eyes next to me. “I understand, just tell me already.”

“Yes. Sorry.” I took another deep breath. The sorrow I felt started to fade away, although it still weighed heavily in my heart. “I looked over the audience and saw ponies from the army. Past me... I feared that they would enlist my son to the front line. I was angry at them for even trying.” I could feel a couple of tears running down my cheek again, and I quickly wiped them off. “And I felt a sorrow -- a sadness over a loss that... I think it happened a long time ago.” Looking down at my shaking hooves, I felt a cold shiver run down my back. “I swore that the war wouldn’t take him as well. Not as long as I was alive.” And I failed. I added silently, bitterly, to myself.

“What do you mean?”

The first day. The day I met you. I remembered speaking with Doctor what’s-her-name--

“Honey Pod.”

And she mentioned my son’s passing. I barely noticed her interruption, my tears welling up again as the sorrow stabbed deeper in my chest. I buried my head in my hooves again, crying uncontrollably for a son I couldn’t remember. If the pain -- the sorrow -- I felt was something caused solely by the feelings from the memory, or if it was something else, I couldn’t tell. And as the tears ran down my cheeks, I didn’t care anyway.

“--and...” Bolt stopped mid sentence. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t... I don’t think so,” I whimpered, looking up at her. My voice was barely audible over my crying. “I know that he died during the war. I have memories of talking about it. I...” I couldn’t bare to say anything more, and once again buried my head in my hooves.

“We don’t kn--” Spitfire started, but quickly went silent again.

“Cogwheel?” Bolt took a deep breath, continuing as I didn’t answer her. “Cogwheel, listen to me.” I felt a sharp jolt of pain as she jabbed me at the back of my head with her hoof.

Surprised, I looked up from my hooves at the unicorn who looked down at me with a disapproving glare.

“Pull yourself together, Cryborg. If you don’t want to talk with me, at least wait to bawl your eyes out until we’ve found shelter for the night, okay?”

“Cogwheel.” Spitfire sighed. “You lived nearly two hundred years ago, and you knew that your son had died. And--” The OSAI went silent again.

“I didn’t protect him.” I tried to choke back the tears. I failed. “After all the anger, fear and sorrow, I couldn’t... I don’t know how it happened, I don’t know how he died, but I know that I couldn’t--”

Bolt slapped me across the face, much harder than before, stopping my rambling. “One more time and I leave you here,” the unicorn growled. “Understood?” I looked wide-eyed at the unicorn, who continued without stopping. “We can’t stay in the open like this if you’re going to bawl your eyes out. So get up, pull yourself together and wait with your bawling until we find a safe place to stay, understood?”

Looking away, I could hear Bolt sigh.

“Cogwheel, please. Listen to me. I understand that you’re sad; we all are when we get the news that someone’s died. But we have to find somewhere we can stay for the night first. You don’t want a group of raiders to sneak up on us, do you?”

“I guess not,” I whispered, slowly rising to my hooves.

“That’s more like it,” Bolt encouraged me. Sighing as I didn’t answer, she looked around us and started walking. “This way, then.”

I followed her without a word, my head hanging low. Throwing a last glance back at the stadium, I shook my head, trying to clear it of everything. Is this what awaits me out here, Spitfire? I sniveled. Memories about death?

“Cogwheel,” Spitfire said with a calm and soothing voice. “Death is a natural part of everypony’s life. And during the war... You could say tt just became more natural. This won’t be the only time you will be reminded about the death of the ones you loved nearly two hundred years ago.”

Blinking the tears out of my eyes, I looked up at the wasteland around me. Death was all around me -- from the withered trees and the barren ground to the skeletons of ponies long since passed.Am I doing the right thing, Spitfire? I asked after a while. Hunting memories of my past? If I can’t even handle to see my son when he’s alive in the memories, how will I react to the memories when he’s not there? The memories of when he’s dead?

“Only you can answer that question, I’m afraid.” She sighed. “I hate to say this, Cogwheel, but... just remember that your memories are nothing but that, memories. The emotions you encounter are nothing but memories of what you felt all those years ago.”

Do you mean I should just ignore it? I looked up at the sky. I don’t think that I would be able to do that.

Spitfire hesitated. “I know this may sound harsh, but you should prepare for...” She sighed. “I have no good way to say this, Cogwheel. Everypony you once knew is, most likely, dead. You were under my observation for nearly two hundred years, and that is not a normal life span for anypony outside stasis.”

I stopped in the middle of a step. Everyone I once knew, dead. I sighed deeply. I... A part of me tried to argue with her, saying that those I once knew might be alive out there, somehow. I was, so who knew? Maybe somepony else was put into stasis as well before the bombs fell. Does it matter? I thought bitterly, shattering the small voice like glass. Even if there are others alive out here that I once knew, I wouldn’t remember them.

“Don’t say that, Cogwheel. You--”

You said it yourself, everypony I once knew is dead. I interrupted her, my tone heated, as I staggered after Bolt. The unicorn hadn’t noticed that I stopped. And I guess I’ve known that all along. Deep down inside, I’ve known that ever since stepping outside of the clinic.

“Then why do you continue?” Spitfire asked calmly.

I... Once again her words caused me to stop in the middle of a step. It was a question that, while it had been floating around in my mind, I had never answered. I don’t know. When this began, it was all about getting my memories back. But now?

“Hey, slowborg. Are you coming?” Bolt had stopped further down the road and was now looking back at me, an eyebrow raised.

I hurried up my steps. As I caught up with her, she opened her mouth as to say something, but quickly closed it again, instead turning around and continuing to walk.

As I continued by her side through the barren wasteland, my thoughts returned to what Spitfire had asked. I guess it still is, I finally thought. I want to know who I was before... This.

“Is your desire to know who you once were strong enough for you to live through the more painful memories?”

I don’t know, I admitted. I hope it is, but I don’t know. But--

“It’s not like you can’t turn around further down the road, Cogwheel.”

I smiled lightly. I guess. But hopefully I can get through even the more painful memories. After all, they are a part of who I was as much as the other memories are.

The unicorn smiled lightly as she looked up at me. “You’re feeling better.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” I nodded. “Spitfire made sure of that.”

“I guess I will have to thank her, then,” Bolt mused. “Saves me the trouble of trying to snap you out of it.” She took a quick step and stopped before me, nearly causing me to walk into her. “But you have to promise me that you won’t let that happen again, you hear?”

Surprised, I stopped and looked down at her. “I...” She was glaring at me -- not angrily, but pleadingly. There was something in her face that seemed off, and it startled me. I shook my head quickly. “I can’t promise anything--”

“Cogwheel, you have to promise me. You can’t just break down like that again. Someone will eventually be able to take advantage of that, and we’ll just be sitting ducks--”

“I can’t promise anything,” I said again, this time with a hoof raised to silence her. “But I’ll try.”

Bolt opened her mouth as if to say something, but with a shake of her head, she closed it again and turned back to the road, throwing a glance at the sky. “We still have an hour or two before we have to find a shelter for the night, so we might as well make the best of it and keep going for a while.”

“Are you sure that we’re going the right way, then?”

“Of course I am.” Without even stopping, she floated the map out of her saddlebags, unfurled it and quickly scanned it. “That stadium we passed was just outside a pre-war town. If we followed a different path, we probably would’ve ended up in its ruins. But, if we follow this way, we should be getting to Biomechatronic... Tomorrow, around midday. If we keep this speed up, that is.” She looked up at the map and then at the road ahead. “There are some buildings marked on the map, farms I believe, that seem to be only an hour away. If we’re lucky, we might be able to find shelter there.”

{L.L}

Turns out, we were lucky. The markings on the map were actually farms, three of them standing close together along the road. Two of the farms had crumbled, only ruined walls and debris proving that they had ever been there. The only buildings still standing were a dilapidated farmhouse, two stories tall, as well as a barn behind it.

Bolt eyed the standing farmhouse, before she, with a satisfied nod, started walking on the path up to the house. “It will do.”

Following her, my eyes wandered over what had once been a garden, now long since withered and destroyed. I could picture that it had been beautiful, maybe even peaceful, once. The remains of numerous small fountains and ponds were spread out, surrounded by circles of stones. I guessed that flowers had grown between the water sources and stones once, but now nothing of growth was to be seen in those garden beds. Trees, dark and decayed, stood spread out in the garden, the thickest of them had once thrown their shadows over the benches standing beneath them.

“Enjoying the scenery? Or do you remember something of this place?”

Looking up at Bolt, who already had made her way to the door and now held it open, I realized that I had stopped in the middle of the path. “Not a memory, no,” I said, smiling as I continued walking again. “Just... picturing how it might have been.” Looking up at the sky, which had started to darkening, I sighed. “I think it was beautiful once. Full of life.”

“I know it was beautiful once,” Bolt mused breathlessly.

“What do you mean?” I asked, averting my eyes back to her. An open window on the second floor got my attention, I could have sworn that something moved in it. But, as I looked closer, I couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

“There is a painting here,” the unicorn once again probed my attention, and looking at her I saw that she floated a frame in front of her. “It’s the same house, but the garden is full of colours.”

As I got closer, she turned the frame around and showed me the painting. As she had said, it pictured the house and the garden around it as it had been a long time ago. Flowers, forever frozen in an invisible wind, of every thinkable color stood among the running water from the fountains and ponds. Over the gate going into the garden, a sign proudly announced this “The Pear House”. Everything was put aflame by the red light of the setting sun.

“Did the world really look like this before the war?” Bolt asked, turning the painting around again so she could look at it once more. “All these... colours on the actual world around you?”

“I think so. It’s not like I can really remember, but from the fragments I have gotten back, it was a lot more colors than the... dullness there is now.”

The unicorn stroke a hoof against the frame, wistfully staring into the picture. “Do you think this world will ever return to what once was?” she mumbled, barely loud enough for me to hear. “A world of peace and beauty?”

“I don’t know,” I said slowly. “But we can hope, can’t we?”

“I guess.” The unicorns horn started to glow and, with a sigh, she tore the painting of the frame, carefully rolling it up and floated it into her saddlebags. Her eyes didn’t leave the frame, but after a couple of second she shook her head and floated the frame into the hallway again, following after it herself. “Are you hungry?”

Blinking, surprised by the sudden change of subject, it took a couple of seconds before I answered. “I... guess.” I followed after her into the hallway.

Beside the ever present dust on floor and furniture, everything seemed tidier than I had seen in any other house I had been in. Framed paintings, picturing the farmhouse and the surroundings during different seasons as well as ponies I guessed once had lived here, decorated the walls. The furniture was made in dark, heavy wood, and some of them even had tablecloth still laying upon them. A broad staircase, seemingly created in the same wood as the furniture, lead up to the second store, and five doors lead to different parts of the house.

“Then let us get something to eat before we get some sleep.” Bolt looked at the five doors, before she chose one seemingly on random. “If we are lucky, there might be some canned food in here for us to scavenge.”

The floorboards creaked with every step I took as I followed her into what seemed to be the living room. A couple of couches stood around a smaller table in front of the fireplace. Bookcases standing alongside the wall was filled to the brink with books and figurines. Above the fireplace, a big painting on an elder mare, her coat a light green and her mane a little darker orange, glaring down at us with hard, yellowish eyes.

I dropped down on my haunches, staring on the picture, while Bolt barely stopped to throw a glance over the room before she walked to one of the doors leading out of it, leaving me behind.

“Is that?” I whispered, looking at the thin silver link around the mare’s neck. Hanging in the silver link was a pendant of gold, formed as a tree with green stones or gems as leaves.

“It sure looks like the ornament Free sent you to retrieve,” Spitfire paused. “But it doesn’t have to be the very same. Maybe there were more than one created?”

Maybe. Maybe. My eyes wandered around the room. I don’t think I have been here before. At least... I haven’t gotten any memories back from being here as I have gotten at other places I have been.

“Just a coincidence?”

I looked back at the painting. Maybe. Or maybe Free was a part of this house all those years ago?

“If it matters, maybe you should ask Free the next time you see him,” Spitfire suggested, a hint of a smile in her tone.

I shuddered with the bare thought of meeting him again. I rather allow this to be another mystery of the wasteland, thank you very much.

“I found a kitchen,” Bolt said happily. “And...” She paused. “Are you going to sit there the entire day?”

Spitfire laughed softly as I rose, a sheepish smile on my face. “No, not at all. It’s just...” I went silent as Bolt raised an eyebrow at me. “She got the same pendant as Free had.”

The unicorn looked unaffected at the painting. “That pendant you gave him? What’s with it?”

“Do you think that it’s the same pendant? That Free was a part of this household before--” Once again, Bolt’s raised eyebrow silenced me.

“Let me get this straight. You wonder if this pendant, pictured on a painting from before the war, is the same pendant that you gave a maniac in a glade? The same maniac who not only tried to kill us both, but then left us asleep within reach of ghouls?” Bolt sighed. “It might be the same. But does it matter?”

“I... guess not,” I admitted, and, looking away from the painting, quickly changed subject. “Did you find anything edible in the kitchen?”

“Some cans of food. The kitchen looked to not have been scavenged, but most of the cupboards was empty on anything edible.” She shrugged. “Might be some radroaches that took their home here long ago and ate everything not protected by metal.”

“Radroaches?”

“Mutated creatures. I think they were known as cockroaches earlier, but those were nothing compared to this.” She shuddered in disgust. “They aren’t dangerous, but they are disgusting.” She walked to the door leading to the kitchen again. “We will have to keep an extra eye on the saddlebags tonight. Don’t want to wake up with every trace of food eaten.”

“I think I have encountered them before.” I followed her into the kitchen. “On my second day out here. It had eaten every trace of un-canned food in the house Precious, Dust and I stayed at for the night.”

The kitchen was as spotless as the rest of the house. A solid table took up most of the space, benches and the stove seemingly more a second thought than anything else. Some of the cupboards were open, most likely opened by Bolt, and on the table stood five cans of food.

“Yeah, they do that. Eats close to everything they can find.” Bolt sat down at the table, floating my saddlebag to herself. “I think it would be for the best to eat the fresh food first. Not sure how long it will keep fresh.” Floating up some of the fresh vegetables, she dumped the canned food into the bags instead. “You know?” She started, floating a couple of the vegetables over to me and starting to nibble on another herself. “We should keep a watch tonight, just to be on the safe side.”

“What do you mean?” I started to eat on the food I had been given.

“Remember what I told you earlier? About the raiders? That you should keep alert?” She continued as I nodded. “That’s the case even during the night, you know. Not that I think that there are any raiders around, but you can never be too sure.”

“I suppose...”

She sighed and bit of a bigger part of the carrot, waving the last part around as she spoke. “I will take the first watch, if that’s okay? After half the night, I will wake you up and you keep watch the other half, sounds good?”

“I suppose.”

Bolt smiled. “You should go sleep, get as much sleep as possible before it’s your watch.”

The rest of the meal we ate in silence, and as soon as I had finished I rose from the chair and searched my way out to the couches I had seen in the living room. Bolt, who had finished before me, sat down in one of them as I sunk down in the other. It didn’t take long before I had fallen asleep.

{z-z}

“Those innocents killed my mother!” The hulking pegasus, nearly completely dressed up in the black and purple armor of the Shadowbolts, nearly yelled out at me, taking a threatening step towards my desk.

“You never knew your mother,” I growled, causing him to stop mid step. “Had you, you would also have known that she would never agree with these actions!” I rose from my place behind the deck and walked around until I stood face to face with him. “What had those zebra civilians to do with your mother’s death? You can’t judge an entire race from the action of a few!” The pegasus in front of me opened his mouth, but I didn’t let him get a word in. “You want to make your mother proud of you? You can do that easily. Leave the army.” I snarled, feeling the anger burning in my veins. “This is not who you are. This is not who your mother wanted you to be.”

The stallion took a quick step back, his eyes darting from side to side and his wings twitching. “I-I will do no such thing! Dad... The army is like a family, I can’t just leave them. Lead by Luna and the ministry mares, the army can save Equestria!”

“Save Equestria?” I mocked, driving a hoof into his chest. “By doing what? Killing innocents?” I took a step back, my hoof dropping to the ground again. “Both sides know this war is a stalemate. We send our youngs to die in a war that should have been prevented! Not only that, but it has been gone on for far too long for negotiations to do anything!” Sighing, I took a step back. “This war is an abomination in itself, and the wound it causes both the zebra empire and Equestria is slowly killing both countries. This entire war government can go and hide itself. Maybe that would end this war.”

The pegasus took yet another step back. He looked as if I had punched him in the face with my words. “That... That’s treason! That’s treachery towards Luna!”

I snorted and glared down at him, the slightly bigger pegasus shying away from me. “Treachery? Luna knows this as well as everypony else who can open their eyes! Not even Luna can stop this, son. So please, I beg you. Leave the army before it’s too late. Leave it before the army or any of the ministries decides to send you to your death! You have done enough for your country already, dying would only destroy what you have created.” I sighed. “Release the grudge you hold against the zebras, before it devours you.”

“I-I can’t leave the army, Dad. I’m sorry.”

“Then I have no son!” I snarled, the anger heating my voice. “Leave this office, and don’t you dare talk with me before you have done what you mother had wanted you to do, and leave the army behind!”

“But--”

“Leave. Now!”

Without another word and with his muzzle held high in the air, the pegasus, my former son, turned around and left my office. As soon as he had left, I walked around my desk and sat down on the cushion behind it. Resting my head against the armrest, I allowed the tears to drip down my cheek. I’m sorry.

“Wake up, Cogwheel.”

{u.u}

I’m so, so sorry.

“Cogwheel. Wake up.”

The soft voice stirred me awake, banished the echoing thought from my dream away from my mind. Blinking, I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes. “Where... am I?” I mumbled, looking around the room. It wasn’t the same room I had gone to sleep in, that was for sure.

The walls around me was made of a dark stone, with what looked like silver running like spider web across it. The silvery ornaments gleamed vaguely in the soft blue light that was reflected throughout the room. When I moved my head, it felt as if my eyes didn’t follow, everything became a diffuse blur of silver and blue until I stopped it again.

“You’re still asleep.”

I moved my head to find the source of the voice, which only caused my head to start spinning as the walls around me turned diffuse again. “Who’s there?” I asked, burying my head in my hooves to stop the spinning. “Where am I?”

“You’re in a dream, Cogwheel.” I felt a hoof against my head and when I looked up from my hooves I looked straight into a pair of gentle, cyan eyes. “And you have nothing to fear. I am a friend.”

The eyes disappeared from my view, and the hoof disappeared from my head, in a poof of smoke. The owner of the eyes rematerialised in a couple of cushions lying on the floor, her sleek, cobalt blue body spreading out on them and her wings softly draping along her body. Her mane flowed freely with the nicks of a wind that didn’t exists, and it was from the stars spread within that mane the blue light spread.

“I-I remember you,” I stuttered, taking a step back. “You... you are Luna?”

“Frost Mane, as well as others, tend to call me that.” The alicorn sighed, her eyes turning tired. “For now, it will work as any other name, Cogwheel.”

“What do you want?” I could feel my heart beating slightly faster, a trickle of sweat running down my brow.

“I want events to work out in the best way possible, Cogwheel. That’s why I hold you here.”

“I don’t understand. What events? Am I a prisoner?”

“You could call your position right now that of a prisoner, yes. But don’t see me as a warden. I’m simply a friend, giving you time to recover from the memory you just relived, so that your feelings will not cloud your judgement when you have to be clear minded.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Do you remember the memory? Your dream before you got here? Do you remember what you did?”

“Cogwheel!” Spitfire’s voice boomed in my mind, and for the shortest second it was as if the world around me was shattered like glass.

“Cogwheel.” With the alicorns voice, the world returned to how it had been seconds ago. “Try to remember.” The alicorn rose and walked up to me, ignoring my attempts to back away from her. “I do this for you, and for Bolt.” She placed a hoof on my brow, and I froze in fear, my heart starting to beat faster. “Try to remember.”

I dropped down on my haunches. I’m so, so sorry. Tears started dripping down from my cheek and onto the floor, the sound of the steady dripping echoing in the room. “I threw him out for joining the army. My own son...”

The alicorn draped her wing around me, softly talking with comforting voice. “What had he done, Cogwheel? It has to be something more than just joining the army, otherwise you wouldn’t have done that.”

“He killed zebra civilians and... I think I was angry on him for talking about his mother as if she would have been proud over what she did.”

“Cogwheel, you have to wake up!” Once again Spitfire’s voice caused the world around me to disappear for a split second, just long enough for me to see the white world through my tear filled eyes.

“What’s--”

“As I told you, this is only a dream.” Looking up, I could see the alicorn smiling down at me with sad eyes. “I wish I could give you more time to think over the memory, but I’m afraid that my time here is up.”

“Wake up!”

This time, the world didn’t turn back to the room, instead it stayed with the white nothingness, me and Luna the only splash of colour in the nothingness that surrounded us. “But before you go, listen to me.”

“Cogwheel, I’m starting to lose my temper with you!”

“This is important. Whatever you do, always remember--”

“Wake up!”

{O-o}

You’re not alone.

“You are one heavy sleeping--” Spitfire sighed. “It’s too late now. We got company.”

“Huh, what?” Yawning, I raised my head and brought up a hoof to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

Or, at least I tried to. I couldn’t move my hoof more than an inch or two, and doing so caused the rest of my legs to follow in the motion. Looking down, I saw the reason to why I couldn’t move my legs. They were tied together with a sturdy rope. Looking up again, I found myself looking into the light brown eyes of another pony. Spitfire, what--

“Viper! Move your lazy ass and go tell the boss that this one’s awake!”

“You are, apparently, hard to wake up. Both Bolt and I tried, but when she didn’t get you to wake up, she simply gave up and lay down to sleep, mumbling something about that there is nothing to fear here anyways. I tried to wake you up again when you... I heard something drop on the floor, but you were still too deep asleep. They tied you both up, and-- I tried to wake you up, I swear!”

I felt my heart starting to beat faster as I scanned the part of the room that I could see from my position on the floor. Besides the worn stallion standing over me, a knife hanging around his neck like a necklace, two other stallions and one mare were in the room. The mare was armed with what looked like the revolver I had had strapped around my leg, while the other two stallions were armed with weapons the like of which I had never seen before. Bolt laid on the floor, tied up like myself with a piece of cloth between her teeth, not far from me, glaring daggers at the mare juggling the revolver back and forth.

Swallowing hard, I looked up at the stallion guarding me. “Wh-what do you want?”

“Revenge,” a dark voice rumbled from the doorway, causing everyone in the room to turn around and step aside, leaving the path to me free for the unicorn. The unicorn was a lot smaller than the depth of his voice made me think, his light pink coat, only patches of it remaining, mismatching the brown armor he was wearing. Traces of silver could be seen in his short kept blue mane, and his face malformed by scars and burn marks.

“I... we haven’t done anything! Let us go!” I flailed with my legs as he stepped closer, not gaining any answer more than a flash of broken, yellow teeth from him and a roaring of laughter from the others in the room.

“You haven’t done... anything?” He moved his head closer to me as he spoke, glaring down at me with hard, green eyes, his breath causing my nose to curl up. A hard kick in my guts forced the air out of my lungs, leaving me wheezing for air, tears forming in my eyes. “You haven’t done anything?! Tell that to my wife! Tell that to my daughter!” He tugged the knife from the closest stallions and pushed the rusty metal against my throat. “Oh right, you can’t! Because you fuckers killed them! They were defenseless, but you didn’t care! None of you did!” He moved his mouth even closer, practically whispering in my ear. “You carved my face with claws and knives before you put me aflame, left me to die.” His laugh sounded more like a croak. “But I didn’t die, did I?”

“Please... you have the wrong pony,” I stuttered, still trying to get air. “We... we haven’t done anyth--” I whimpered in pain as he kicked me in the guts again.

“Pathetic.” The unicorn slowly rose, spitting me in the face as he removed the knife from my throat. “Take them to the barn. And keep your filthy hooves of the mare. The thugs kept their hooves away from both my wife and my daughter, and I will honor that.”

“I’m not of Exo’s thugs,” I wheezed weakly between my teeth. “You--”

“Silence!” The unicorn turned around and kicked my head into the floor, causing me to see double. He brought the knife to my neck again. “I could slit your throat right here, right now for what you freaks did to my family!” He croaked bitterly. “But no, I won’t be that merciful. Your place will be in the arena, where you will fight others for our enjoyment.”

I could weakly here Spitfire scream my name over the ringing in my ears as the world started to fade away.

{q.q}

First, as always, a really big thank you to Masquerade313, not only for proofreading and editing, but for giving the story a hell of a lot more life than it had from the beginning. I can’t thank him enough for all the time he devoted helping me with this!

Secondly, a big thanks to Tonto the Trotter, for reading through and giving me tips and advices.

And lastly, a really big thanks to Doomande, for keeping my spirits up and reassuring me that SAT isn’t as flat as I think it is.

Without these three, SAT would be nothing.

Comments

[Luminous Lead]

Well, nightmare Luna wasn't much of a help there. Looks like Cog'll have to fight after all.