After his eye-opening experience with the dragons at their migration, Spike came to realize what he wanted to do to help others and make them happy. Despite some opposition, the drake is determined to put his skills to use, one horny guy at a time.
Page generated in 0.047 seconds
Total duration
594 users online
1,310,320 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Fizzle a cute
9038452
Be honest, dude... Is it really that 'weird'?~
You're really overdoing it on the italics and bold--the general guideline is to pick one or the other and use it sparingly. It's not so pronounced in this chapter, as there are...extenuating circumstances, but it really sticks out in the last chapter when it's just dialogue. Not a deadly sin, but it can get distracting.
9038487
Weird in what sense? That is a baffling question for me since I am not sure what you mean by weird.
Is it just me or is this bit odd? “Well, what was I supposed to do? It’s not often I get to turn down an opportunity like this~”
Wondering if it should be "It's not often I get an opportunity like this", cause it sounds like he typically accepts this type of opportunity and wanted to turn it down.
9143517
Shit, you're right. I just changed it. Thanks for pointing that out for me.
9143519
This bit also seemed a bit weird.
"Fizzle may have not been sure how long he spent building up the courage, but Spike and the others knew his awkward pause only lasted a couple seconds before his muzzle opened."