My Sister, My Sister and Me

by ArtieStroke

The Dazzlings are NOT Experts

To the Dazzlings, who are not dear at all but may be my last hope,

I work as an intermediary between PAULDRONS and the dolphin pods who have sought out contact with humanity following the saturation. While for the most part the legal kinks have been worked out, we've hit a bit of a snag regarding ownership laws--specifically, the dolphins are having some difficulty comprehending ownership and friendship as being separate concepts, as they seem to naturally view friends as being owned by their friends--and the languages of the pods I am working with does not quite allow for the distinction. The celephapods are mitigating the issue somewhat by being 'business partners'--a dolphin will own a few celephapods, who handle all the legal and practical ownership matters for them--but given their child-like nature and currently short life span this is an issue that will come up sooner rather than later. As ex-aquatic lifeforms yourselves, could you provide an example of friendship that is not ownership and vice versa that I can get the dolphins to understand?

Silk Weaver, from Flowerda

"I'm gonna stop this one right in the bud," Aria said, "And refer you to our opening dialogue for every episode so far-"

"We've done like two!"

"EVERY EPISODE SO FAR- saying that we are, without a doubt, NOT EXPERTS."

"So yeah, don't sue us when we give you dumb advice about this serious issue," Adagio said, nodding, "It certainly has been a while since we've spoken Wavetongue on the regular."

"Are the dolphins even using Wavetongue?" Sonata asked. Adagio and Aria both shrugged.

"I don't know, I'm not the one acting like an ambassador to all of dolphin kind." Aria said.

"True enough- though I was a fan of some of their works."

"Oh yeah? Name five dolphin albums right now!" Aria called from across the table. Adagio hummed, tapping a finger to her chin.

"Well obviously you've got 'Singing with Porpoise'- no, fuck it I'm not doing that bit. I MEAN that dolphins can be pretty fucking ruthless! And you know what- I respect that. I don't begrudge a species thinking it's the boss. So long as it doesn't try to be the boss of me."

"Yeah, you're already bossy enough." Sonata said, immediately trading a sick high-five with Aria. Adagio groaned.

"Okay, I set myself up for that one- but for real. Trying to translate concepts from one language to another when the other doesn't HAVE that concept? Kind of a bitch and a half to do."

"Fucking prime numbers, am I right?" Sonata said.

"Yeah, fuck those- I mean, the closest thing I can think of is maybe removing the 'ownership' prefix? Instead of saying 'leybli siichii', just go with 'bli siichii'- not exactly grammatically correct OR a direct translation, but I think it roughly gets the point across."

Aria cupped her hands around her mouth, "Nerd."

"Fair, but consider this: fuck you."

"How about my own rebuttal- eat a thousand dicks. Just- a thousand."

"Girls, girls," Sonata said, holding her hands up, "We're missing the point- this isn't a grammar question! It's a life experience question! And honestly I think we might be qualified to answer this for once."

Aria and Adagio both gave her disbelieving looks.

"I mean, the best example I can think of far as friendship without ownership would be like... family. Like us, kinda."

Aria blinked, sinking back into her chair, "Huh. I mean... wow, you're not wrong. It's sappier than most Caneighdian trees, but damn."

"I think Discord is starting to rub off on you a bit much," Adagio said, "You're full of far too many surprises, Sonata."

Sonata did her best to curtsy from a seated position, "I try my best."

Comments

[Dark Feather]

HI Dazzlers, Dark Feather here.

While doing a report on ancient mythology I came across the sirens from ancient Grease, but ther discription is not what I heard you look like in ful siren form.

Was there a missconseption or a desseption? Earth natives?

Senserly Dark Feather.

[Malandy]

Only two episodes? So it's not 1 chapter = 1 ep? And possibly also not chronological?

How can you forget how to wavetongue when it's so integral? Then again, magic is lower/different and they don't have their heartstones...

Family... Aww!

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Adagio,

Remember, you still owe me twenty bucks.

Deltoid

[BestinDworld]

dear dazzlings is there any truth do those images of you in pony forms circulating the internet? sonatas pony form looks adorable

also are you in anyway related to the seaponies ? if so megan says hi

p.s. shoo be doo shoo shoo be doo

[Masterweaver]

Suddenly, Odessyus.

[Krazyfan1]

Me again.
what would you consider the best parts of being able to breath underwater? i mean, diving for sunken treasures, floating around, being relatively safe from non water breathing foes, that sort of thing?

[Serious_Samsung]

Dear Dazzlings,

Did you meet Jack Sparrow?

Sincerely,
Serious_Samsung

[mastermenthe]

Eat precisely 1000 dicks