The Artist

by P-Berry

Chapter 6

Have you ever like … woken up, and instantly found yourself wanting to never wake up again?

Waking up, feeling like the biggest piece of shit on this planet and, even worse, knowing that feeling that way is absolutely right because you are the absolute biggest piece of shit on this planet.

Trust me, it wasn’t nice.

It must have been around noon when I came around, based on the sun shining on my face and roughly awakening me from a dreamless sleep.

Giving a groan and pinching my eyes shut, I rolled over.

I didn’t deserve this.

I didn’t deserve being able to roll over, I didn’t deserve lying in this bed, I didn’t even deserve Princess Celestia’s glorious sun shining down on me.

Because really, right now the pony lying in my bed was among the most despicable creatures I could think of.

I had screwed up.

I had screwed up … big time.

After the … encounter with Fresh Coat last night, Cinnamon didn’t even need to throw me out - I had gone home on my own accords. After coming through the door and doing my best to avoid looking at any mirrors in my apartment, I had dropped into my bed - and hadn’t gotten up since.

Honestly, I had screwed up before; I had felt miserable before, but never before had I been so tempted to throw myself off the next best cliff and free the world from the eyesore that was the pony named Blank Slate.

Fresh Coat … had still believed in me. Hell, the way she had acted last night made it clear that she was -or rather had been- feeling something for me, and she probably would have gotten back in touch with me the next day to talk things out.

Hell, for all I knew I could be on a new date with her right in this second.

Seriously, if I had only … thought! If I had only seen the signs! Of course Fresh Coat hadn’t dumped me! For crying out loud, her note explicitly said that we shouldn’t see each other for a while! A while wasn’t forever! A while could have just as well been two days!

If only … if only I had used my head … and waited, instead of jumping on the next best opportunity - or … pony, for that matter.

Heck, I couldn’t even blame Cinnamon. She had seen me wallowing in self-pity, and had proposed getting dinner together. Nopony, nopony had forced me to say yes! And even during dinner, nopony had forced me to think these thoughts about her, nopony had forced me to drink this much, and Celestia knows nopony had forced me to come back to Cinnamon’s place.

I was the only one to blame.

Fresh Coat hated me - that was all it took to seal my defeat. Even without closing my eyes or explicitly thinking about it, I could see her standing in front of me, calling me a disgrace with tears running down her face - tears I was responsible for. Tears I had made her cry. That thought alone was enough to send another wave of self-loathing through my mind.

I let my head drop, pulling the sheets over my face.

Shit. I hated myself so goddamn much.

Why couldn’t I just … just … do the right thing for once!? Why did I always have to screw up everything I touched?

“Shit!” I cussed, the thick blanket muffling my voice.

Then came silence, only broken by my own heavy breathing. For a few moments, I just sat there, feeling my own hot breath against my face, reflected by the sheets, and smelling the alcohol in it.

I felt like I was about to suffocate.

Crap, I needed to get out of here! I needed to get out of my bed, out of my apartment, out of the house! I couldn’t stand being here, alone with my own thoughts, any longer!

I could feel my discomfort grow with every second as I kicked off the blanket, jumped out of my bed and to my hooves -which involved more standing still and re-gaining my balance than I would care to admit- and quickly trotted to the exit door.

I needed to get myself out of this place. To clear my thoughts, and get this whole affair off my mind, at least for now.

---

It was … I don’t know … probably an hour or so later when I finally stopped, raised my head and for the first time since leaving my house began taking in my surroundings.

I was in a … park? Really, while walking during the past hour I had paid no mind whatsoever to where exactly I was going. I was just walking. Walking to clear my thoughts; walking to get those feelings out of my head, and bring some new thoughts in.

And it had worked, really. I actually was feeling better. Not good or even ‘not bad’, but feeling shitty was still better than feeling utterly and totally miserable, right?

Right?

I shook my head. I was feeling better. That’s all that counted.

Lifting my head and looking around, I inspected my surroundings. This place looked like any other park in Manehattan, really. There were benches here, trees, ponies running around…

Still, I couldn’t shake the thought that this place looked familiar … maybe it was-

My eyes widened as I recognized that bench.

“Sweet Mother of Celestia, no.” I mouthed, my eyes widening.

As much as my mind protested against it, my legs began walking again, taking me to a place I still remembered all too well.

“No no no…” I muttered to myself as I reached a truly nice-looking piece of meadow - surrounded by a few trees, it seemed like the ideal place for a picnic of sorts.

I could feel my heart rate increase as my eyes scanned the grass in front of me - and tasted bile in the back of my throat as I spotted the still remaining bloodstains sprinkling the grass.

My bloodstains.

I could feel myself sink to my haunches, the images of what had happened here forty-eight hours ago rushing past my mind’s eye, and the pain caused by the bruises and still remaining wounds on my face flared up as if to remind me that this affair still wasn’t over and done with.

I sighed, letting my head hang low.

This thing wasn’t going to let me go this easily, was it? Even while walking, without thinking about it, with no destination whatsoever, my legs had subconsciously taken me back to the park where things had taken a drastic turn.

Was this some kind of sign? Were the princesses up above trying to tell me something?

My eyes went skyward as if expecting to find the answer there, shining down on me like guiding sunlight.

All they spotted was a sky covered in thick gray clouds.

No sun for Blank Slate today.

I had to do something. I couldn’t run away any longer.

I had hurt a pony I liked, maybe even loved, and destroyed her friendship with what could have very well been the oldest friend she had.

And as much as I wanted to just stick my head in the sand and sit all this out, I knew that I had to do something; anything. Hell, even if Fresh Coat would still hate me, and Cinnamon would never want to see me again for getting her into all this -both scenarios seemed pretty likely at this point- I still had to try and patch their friendship back together.

I knew this wouldn’t be the answer to all things, but it would be a start. And if they should decide that I was worth their friendship … well, it would be a nice side effect at least.

With that resolution in mind, I got back to my hooves, my eyes resting on my own blood in front of me, before turning around and trotting back out of the park at a brisk pace, well-knowing what the first step in my endeavor for reconciliation would be.

---

Or, well, maybe not.

It was late at night that same day. Or early morning the next day, I really wasn’t sure. After getting home, full of determination, I had sat down on my sofa, intending to come up with a plan on how to fix Fresh Coat’s and Cinnamon’s friendship … and hadn’t really done anything since.

My head was spinning, my vision was blurring, and it was getting hard to breathe in my airless living room, yet I couldn’t find peace.

The main reason why I was still sitting here, despite being exhausted and dead-tired, wasn’t because I didn’t know how to apologize to the two mares -that seemed easy, really- but where things were going to go after that. Or rather, where I wanted things to go after that.

Because, as if all that chaos between the two I had inflicted hadn’t been enough, now I was starting to question my own feelings as well.

Namely, who -in a perfect Equestria where conflicts and jealousy didn’t exist- I would want to be with - Fresh Coat or Cinnamon.

This conflict had seemed ridiculous to me at first, really. Leaving aside the fact that Cinnamon was almost twice my age, and that she clearly didn’t seem interested in me in that way, it was Fresh Coat who I had felt connected to from the moment we had first met. She was the one that had made me stutter; that had caused me to deny great sex out of fear of losing her, and that had made me throw together horrible abominations of sandwiches just to make her stay with me for a little longer.

So why couldn’t I stop thinking about Cinnamon, then?

Was it because she had been the one making the first move by (more or less) asking me for a date? Was it because our ‘date’ had been so nice and quiet, without any drama or major incidents - until the end, that is. Or was it because she reminded me a little bit of my own mom and I just felt safe and secure with her around?

A shudder ran through my body at that. Yes, I loved my mom, but mixing the two ponies up just caused all those phantasies of mine to get crazy weird in an instant.

In any case, Cinnamon was on my mind just as much, if not more, than Fresh Coat, and I knew that, even if I should be lucky enough to get back together with one of them, chances are I’d have to hurt the other to accomplish it.

Well, not like I hadn’t already hurt one of them, but … that wasn’t the point.

Of course, I could just take the ‘easy’ way out, apologize to the two for the damage done, and be on my merry way. With a city as large as Manehattan, chances are I’d never see them again.

But just like on the day when I had first met Fresh Coat, I was quick to realize that I didn’t want to let her ... to let them go this easily.

But who was I more focused on? Who should I try pursuing something greater than friendship with? … If I would ever get the chance, that is.

Yes, Fresh Coat seemed like the perfect candidate, but … but I couldn’t get Cinnamon out of my head either, so there had to be something about her, right?

Right?

I gave a long sigh, dropping my head.

Being sleepless about mares … I used to think that, being out of school, I had left those sorts of things behind me, but apparently my past was catching up with me yet again.

Only that now, asking my mom, dad or even my big sister for advice was not an option. They were hundreds of miles away, and while I was able to enjoy the technological luxuries of Manehattan, the only way of reaching my family in their village was the old-fashioned letter. And I was sure, if this whole thing wouldn’t be resolved by the time I would hear back from them (which could be anything between five days and six weeks) I would probably go insane.

No, I needed to resolve this myself, and I needed to do it now! By all means, it wasn’t like I could allow things like these to keep me up day and night. Not only because I was worried about my own sanity, but because …

I swallowed, my guilty look wandering over to my drawing pad standing next to my sofa. It might have been my sleep-depraved and dead-tired mind, but I swear there was easily an inch of dust on it.

I still hadn’t worked on that school-project. I mean, not that I had any hopes of winning anyway, but it was the only thing I was currently working on, as my professional life had basically come to a screeching halt the day I had my living room re-painted.

But if I wouldn’t win if I wouldn’t try, right? A voice in my head spoke up.

As if by command, I could hear Fresh Coat’s words in the back of my head, asking me to never change who I was, saying that I'd be 'the best damned architect this city has ever seen', and I could feel myself wanting to tear up all over again.

I had to do something! I had to resolve this!

But what? I mean … I really, really liked Fresh Coat, but even if she would forgive me and give me a second chance, what if I would end up realizing that I liked Cinnamon more after all? Celestia knows the last thing I wanted was for the events of that night to repeat themselves a few months down the road.

I closed my eyes, giving a pained sigh and lowering my head.

Why did life have to be so goddamn hard?

Letting out a long, exhausted breath, I slowly slipped to the side, my head colliding with my sofa’s cushion, as I finally felt the much-needed sleep come over me.

By Celestia, I hoped everything was going to be good again the next day.

---

It wasn’t.

I was doing … better, but still not good. And I knew that I wouldn’t be able to feel genuinely good again until I had done what I needed to do.

Which, as a matter of fact, was exactly what I was about to do.

It was mid-afternoon when I stopped in front of the diner. My vision was swimming ever so slightly, and I had to blink more often than normal to make sure my eyes wouldn’t just slam shut from sheer exhaustion.

But I needed to do this. If I couldn’t (read:didn’t have the balls to) talk to Fresh Coat yet, the least I could do was talk with Cinnamon, and clear out whatever it was that was between us.

Which was, for all intents and purposes, nothing, really.

This was pretty much the only result of the sleepless 24 hours that lay behind me. If I ever wanted to have a chance at getting those two back together, let alone get a second chance with Fresh Coat, I had to end whatever it was that I had with Cinnamon Swirl.

Which, once again, was nothing at all. Nada. ничего.

Yes, we had had a pleasant evening, and at some point there might have been something within me that could have remotely compared to feelings for her, but I had ended up blaming that on my higher level of alcohol.

She had seen me wallowing in misery, had offered me a chance to clear my mind, and everything after that was solely attributable to alcohol, nothing else.

She wasn’t interested in dating me, and I wasn’t interested in dating her, simple as that.

With that resolution in mind, I put a hoof on the doorhandle, opening the entrance door to the diner and stepping inside.

Instantly, the welcoming scent of freshly baked waffles hit my nostrils, and I could hear my stomach grumble in response, reminding me that the last thing I had eaten had been … something. A fair while ago.

But I shook my head. I couldn’t appear as the hungry, lost little colt again. Not after what had happened last time.

As if by command, I could hear steps sounding through the still relatively empty diner, and looked up as I saw Cinnamon come from behind the counter.

“Good morning, what can I-” she wanted to begin, but cut herself off as she saw me. Her face, hearty and friendly at first, changed to a look that seemed almost apathetic. “Oh, hey.” she greeted me briefly.

“Hey. How’s it been? Can we talk for a moment?” is what I would have said normally. I had come here to clear out whatever it was that was between us - to end something that had been doomed to fail from the beginning.

However, the second I had seen her … hell, I don’t even know. My mind just went deaf. For whatever reason, seeing her again overwhelmed me with feelings - memories, of me cuddling up against her on her couch, feeling her fur against my back, the soft scent of her mane beneath me…

Stuttering, my mind tripping, I stood there in silence, just glaring at her with a thousand yard stare.

“So … I guess you wanna talk, huh?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

I gave a curt nod, then closed my eyes, taking in a long breath.

“Alright, focus!” the drill sergeant in my head piped up as my mind slowly descended into chaos, “Just tell her what you thought about earlier! Tell her that you enjoyed her company, but that Fresh Coat is the one for you! Tell her that you hope she understands, and ask if you can stay friends. That’s how you handle these kinds of situations, right?”

“I…” I hesitantly began, trying to keep eye contact with her, but ending up looking down instead. “I, uh ... “

“Come on, just say it! She’s an adult mare, it’s not like she’s going to make a scene!”

“I love you!”

My eyes widened as my mouth went rogue, sputtering out the confession.

Truth be told, it probably wasn’t love. I might have been crushing on her, but even now I could tell that true love was something different.

Nevertheless, I had just confessed that I loved her. The words were out, and now all I could do was wait and see how she would react.

Biting my lip, I slowly lifted my head to see her reaction. It was … not quite what I had expected.

“No you don’t.” Cinnamon replied soberly, shaking her head, “Cut the crap, will you?”

“B-but I-”

“Come here.” she said briefly, motioning me to sit down at a nearby bench seat.

Hesitantly, I obeyed, planting myself opposite to her, my eyes never leaving her.

“Look … Blank.” Cinnamon began slowly, looking me in the eyes with a serious glance. To my surprise, the look in her eyes wasn’t that of someone who was about to ditch you, all watery-eyed and sorry. No, she looked like she was just explaining me the weather or something. “You don’t love me. And I don’t love you.”

I expected myself to flinch at the blunt declaration, but was surprised that I didn’t react in the slightest.

“We had a fun night together, I’ll admit that.” Cinnamon continued undeterred, “But the two of us…” she pointed her hoof at me, then herself, “Aren’t in love. And will never be. You know why?” she asked, her hazel eyes seeming to stare right into my soul.

Slowly, numbly, I shook my head.

“Because you love Fresh Coat, you idiot!” she declared, leaning forward and giving me a symbolic smack on the forehead.

“B-but I … we-” I wanted to protest, having a hard time believing what she had just said.

“You don’t remember too much of that night, do you?” Cinnamon asked me dryly. “You know, between us leaving the restaurant and ending up at my place?”

I looked to the ceíling, thinking for a moment, but then shook my head. Really, it was all just one big blur to me.

“You talked about Fresh Coat. Non-frickin’-stop.” she explained with a deadpan expression, “Seriously, it was cute at first, but even after you told me that story of how she got shitfaced in that bar and kissed you for the fourth time and I told you to stop, you just wouldn’t stop!”

“I … oh.” I heard myself mutter, my head going down.

“No need to feel ashamed for it.” she said with a smirk, “Like I said, it still is kinda cute, but you gotta stop telling yourself that you’re interested in me. Because even if you were…” she cocked an eyebrow at me, “Sweetie, no offense, but I’m twice your age. We really wouldn’t make for a good couple.”

I looked at her in silence for a few moments, letting her words sink in, then slowly nodded my head. “Y-yeah.” I slowly said, “Yeah, guess you’re right.”

“I know I am.” she retorted, once again chuckling lightly, but then her face got serious, “Now, the obvious question: how are you going to handle things with Fresh Coat?”

I looked at her in silence for a moment or two, then let my head sink in defeat. “I … have no idea.”

“Well, tough break.” Cinnamon said, a touch of empathy in her voice, “At this point I doubt she’ll just come crawling back to you.”

I flinched at that ever so slightly. Yes, she was right. But she didn’t have to rub it in my face like this!

“Well, what are you going to do?” I returned the question, trying to get myself out of the line of fire. “She didn’t seem like she was any less mad at you than she was at me.”

“You’re right, she isn’t.” Cinnamon agreed with a soft nod, “And I know that I have to apologize to her. I hurt her just as much as you did, and I know she won’t forgive me easily.”

“So … any suggestions?” I inquired carefully, still cherishing a little bit of hope that she had some form of Deus ex machina up her sleeve.

“I do have an idea.” she said softly, “But I’m afraid you’ll have to come up with something yourself.”

At my questioning look, she elaborated, “Look, we both screwed up - can’t deny that. But just walking up to her together and saying ‘we’re sorry’ just won’t cut it. Hell, it might just make things even worse!”

Reflecting, I slowly nodded. She was right. For all we knew Fresh Coat might just end up thinking that there was … something between Cinnamon and me after all.

“So … what do you think I should do?” I asked, clinging to that bit of hope that she would come up with a way to turn it all into peace, love and rainbows. “I mean, you’ve known her all her life, right?”

Confirming, the mature mare nodded her head. “I did, yeah. But I’m afraid you won’t like what I’m about to say.”

“What is it?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I really was grasping at straws at this point.

“I know it might seem like it, but Fresh Coat isn’t by any means a simple mare.” Cinnamon explained thoughtfully, “And she doesn’t forgive easily.”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded, feeling my throat getting tighter. This was … not exactly what I had hoped to hear.

“And trust me, if there’s one thing she hates, it’s being taken for an idiot.” Cinnamon continued, keeping her eyes focused on me, “So if you’re going to apologize to her, make sure you mean it. And don’t expect her to take you back just because you’re sorry. That’s not how mares work, I’m afraid.”

“Okay…” I replied, feeling my hopes slowly turn to dust, “Any- anything else?”

Cinnamon shook her head. “Nope. That’s all I can tell you.” with that, she slowly arose from the bench, getting back to her hooves, “Sorry, but I really gotta get back to my guests.”

She stood up, but turned her head back at me again, locking eyes with me. Slowly, tentatively, she added, “I’m sorry for what happened. Best of luck with getting her back. I know you can do it.”

With that, she turned way, continuing with her tour through the diner, serving guests, and leaving me sitting in -what I noticed in exactly that moment- that very same stall where I had first sat with Fresh Coat.

Feeling my head sink, I let out a heavy sigh, my look going out the window next to me.

Once again, no dress-clad unicorn mare coming walking down the street to meet me here. Not now, and for all I knew probably never again.

“I … really need to fix this."

---

I didn’t know what I was doing.

I didn’t know why I was doing it.

I didn’t even know if it was the right thing to do.

But I knew that I had to do it. To keep my own sanity intact, if nothing else, I needed to do this. My conscience wouldn’t leave me any rest otherwise.

Keeping those words in my head so as to keep my mind from drifting too far off, I stood there. In what had to be the only apartment building in all of Manehattan that looked more rundown than my own without being declared uninhabitable, in front of a single wooden door.

I had to get this over with. There was no turning back now.

Swallowing and licking my dry lips, I reached out a hoof, pressing it against the button of the doorbell. A simple, two-tone bell came from the other side of the door.

A few moments later, I could hear slow, heavy steps came walking towards the door, shortly followed by a heavy sigh and a groan.

“Who’s there?” the most beautiful voice on this planet asked from the other side.

I bit my lip, feeling my heart pick up the pace. I only had this one shot; I had to make it count.

But … but I couldn’t tell her that it was me, now could I? She probably wouldn’t even open the door for me at this point.

Hell, this whole affair had happened only two days ago; Celestia knows she could just still be mad at me.

But I couldn’t go back now. I had entered the shark tank, so now I had to go shark-wrestling.

Closing my eyes to focus, I kicked my mind into a higher gear.

“Come on, you can do this!” I told myself, “You’ve sweet-talked mares before! Just use your charme!”

“Uh … delivery-service!”

I wanted to facehoof. Really? This was the best I could come up with?

“... I didn’t order anything. What’d you bring?”

“Well, crap. Focus already! Just focus! Come up with a witty response!”

“SanDWiCheS!”

...way to go, Blank Slate. Smooth as silk today, aren’t we?

I could hear a sigh from the other door, followed by a long period of silence.

I was already starting to accept the fact that she had recognized me and now would simply leave me standing out here, when the door got opened and a very … worn-looking Fresh Coat peeked her head through the gap.

“What do you want here, Blank Slate?” she asked me, sounding not annoyed or angry, but simply … exhausted.

A voice that, by all means, matched her appearance perfectly. Her mane, while normally not being too orderly to begin with, was a total mess, hanging randomly into all directions and looking, in lack of a better term, sticky.

Same with her fur, which was unkempt in various spots, and looked like it hadn’t been groomed in days. To top her ‘I don’t give a shit’-look off, big dark rings adorned her eyes, and her facial expression managed to convey equal amounts of disgust and disinterest as she saw me.

And still, in this second she couldn’t have been more beautiful to me. The mere fact that I was seeing her again with my own eyes; that I was standing here, right in front of her, taking in her lovely sight, listening to her lovely voice … it made me hate myself for ever questioning my affection towards her.

Unfortunately, however, these feelings didn’t seem to be mutual, as Fresh Coat reacted to my entranced silence and lovestruck look with nothing but a roll of her eyes and an annoyed sigh.

“What the fuck do you want here?” she snarled at me, her face now clearly expressing annoyance. “I’ve got nothing more to say to you.”

“I…” I stuttered, still pretty much flabbergasted by her mere presence. “I, uh … I wanted to, uh…”

“Ask me to take you back?” Fresh Coat asked grimly, “Then you can fuck right off.”

She already was about to close the door, but I -for once thankfully thinking quick- put a hoof between door and doorframe.

“No!” I quickly declared, “I just…” I sighed softly, “I wanted to apologize. I … didn’t realize what a short-sighted moron I was, and…” I paused, my mind involuntarily going back to the events of that night, “I can’t even begin to imagine how much that must have hurt you, but…” I fell silent, losing myself in my own words, leading Fresh Coat to raise a skeptical eyebrow.

Sighing again, I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and starting a second attempt. “I don’t want you to take me back. I don’t deserve you, and probably never will.” I said slowly, tentatively, “And I’m not asking you to forgive me. I know what I did was wrong, and I can’t blame you for being mad at me for doing it. I just … I want you to know that I’m … truly sorry. … That’s all.” I finished, finally breaking eye contact with her and looking down. “I know you don’t want me back, and you shouldn’t, but I needed to get that off my chest. I’m sorry.”

With that, I took my hoof from between her door, and took a step back, turning away, ready to leave her once and for all.

“Blank.” I could hear her voice behind me, making me stop and turn around, looking at her with the tiniest bit of hope within me.

“I talked with Cinnamon earlier today.” Fresh Coat slowly explained, her look never leaving me, “She told me what happened. That she came up with all this, that she got you drunk, and that she suggested going back to her place. She was under the impression that she was helping you by getting over me, and had no evil intentions.” she clarified, a touch of sorrow in her voice. "And she told me that ... nothing serious happened."

“I shouldn't be mad at her for trying to help a mutual friend, and I shouldn't be mad at you for thinking that what we had was over.” She closed her eyes for a second, shaking her head, “Leaving that note was stupid of me. I should have just stayed and told you in person.” She focused me again, her look clearer this time, “But for all you knew, it might have very well been over. I understand that now.”

“So…” I asked cautiously, tilting my head to the side, “We … we’re…” I hesitated, unable to bring out the question I so desperately wanted to ask. Was she … was she saying that we still were … ?

“No.” she said briefly, making my hopes and dreams go down in flames like the Hindenburg. “I understand that you were thinking I had broken up with you, and I can’t blame you for that, but…” she closed her eyes, and I was sure I saw a tear on her cheeks, “Blank, you went on a date with one of my best friends just one day later.” she said, opening her eyes again and revealing that there were indeed tears on her face.

I opened my mouth, wanting to defend myself, but she shut me up with a raised hoof. “Yes, I know that you were just trying to get over a broken heart, but…” she shook her head, locking eyes with me again. “Seriously Blank, if you can get over whatever it was that we had this quickly, how do I know you won’t end up dropping me again? Who can guarantee me that you won’t just leave me the second you meet someone better if breakups are such laughing matter to you? How do I know you won’t…” she pinched her eyes shut, looking to the side as her voice broke, “hurt me?”

“B-because I won’t!” I stuttered, watching helplessly as tears ran down her face, “Fresh, I swear I’d never do that! You … you mean more to me than-”

“Don’t waste your breath.” she cut me off softly, but with emphasis, looking back up again and wiping a hoof over her face. “I got hurt by a buck once, and I don’t want it to happen ever again. If I mean that little to you; if you can get over me in just one afternoon…” her eyes began to tear up again, but she fought to keep herself together, “Then we really aren’t meant for each other.”

“B-but I-”

“I’m sorry Blank.” she whispered weakly, stepping back inside and putting a hoof on the door to close it, “Please … go. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”

She gently shoved the door shut, keeping her eyes locked on mine as her face slowly disappeared behind the wood.

“I’m sorry.” she whispered, just as the door was about to close, “Goodbye.”

Comments

[Grif_Bladefeather]

fresh coat so far seems very... selfish here, i'm going to go out and say it this is where the double standards bites guys in the ass. with all the given data we have, taking emotions out of the situation, the only one who wronged someone here was her. she left a note that was quite clearly misleading, honestly if this where a movie this would probably be the point where one of her friends or an older figure gives her the gears for the situation and then give some words of wisdom. but honestly either way parts like this get to me because the guy says sorry and rarely does the girl have too.

in these situations people often forget it can be harder for most men to verbally voice there feelings, which means in real world terms a situation like this could emotionally destroy a person like blank slate, it's lead to suicide, violent reaction, sometimes hospitalization to a mental hospital. the story is great but i truly hope someone manages to point out at this point at this place in the chapter it goes from every bodies in the wrong, to her being the lion-share of the wrong.

[Estrus Season]

Wasn't this story mature at one point?

[The Blessed One]

Ouch... Well, the night is darkest just before the dawn... This looks pretty dark to me.

[ShadyAwesomeness]

For a moment there I had to stop reading for a second because I was so overwhelmed. The fact that they had mixed feelings about each other from the beginning and now the situation just got from awkward to a total misunderstanding. YOU'RE KILLIN' ME with this fluff man I LOVE IT!

[Interdimensional cable34]

Well shit...

[P-Berry]

8540393
Happens, eh?
Guess things like these can't be averted when feelings are involved.
8537059
Thanks my man, it's highly appreciated! I feel like this part was a little one-sided with Blank Slate, but I'm hoping to make the next one a bit more balanced.
8537013
Yup, I'd say this is just about the darkest part of the whole story. But hey, there's only one way to go when you've hit rock bottom, right?
8536036
It was indeed. However, seeing how the chapter numbers wouldn't match anymore, now that new chapters were added to the original five (plus the NSFW #6) MadDonut and I agreed to take out the (original, NSFW) chapter six for now to re-submit it at a later point, maybe as a separate story altogether, as the rest of the story doesn't really have anything that would require a mature rating.
8535324
Believe it or not, but reading your comment actually made me think, and I do agree with you to some extent. I wouldn't call Fresh Coat selfish in the classical sense, as -in my opinion- her reaction can be blamed on her being deeply emotionally hurt before, but her behavior did seem rather short-sighted in that chapter.
With that in mind, I revised some parts in chapter seven, and ultimately ended up adding enough content to turn it into two separate chapters, just to address how Fresh Coat is coping with this sticky situation the two are in, compared to Blank Slate.
So yeah, stay tuned for chapter 7!

[Interdimensional cable34]

8542634
That's so true.... but damn...

[Grif_Bladefeather]

8542634
i'm glad you took that well, i was a little worried something i said might be taken as sexist or something. i enjoy your writing your very good at it and i look forward to reading seven.

[P-Berry]

8542787
Well, anything can be taken as sexist in those times we're living in, so no worries about that.

Still, glad you're enjoying it so far though.

[ImJustHere]

If this was a Fallout character, he'd have a charisma skill of one.