Discord has been Sombra's best friend since the Umbrum King returned, has helped the pony overcome his past and take his new throne. But what if he wants more than a friendship?
There are too many exclamation points in the narration! When you're deep inside a character POV, if they are a very excitable character, it'd be OK! Like if your main character was Pinkie Pie! But Sombra is not that excitable! And you're writing more from third person omniscient or third person sigma anyway! (Third person sigma is when you frequently change whose POV you are in!)
Also... it is probably... a good idea... to not have quite so many ellipses...
Nice
There are too many exclamation points in the narration! When you're deep inside a character POV, if they are a very excitable character, it'd be OK! Like if your main character was Pinkie Pie! But Sombra is not that excitable! And you're writing more from third person omniscient or third person sigma anyway! (Third person sigma is when you frequently change whose POV you are in!)
Also... it is probably... a good idea... to not have quite so many ellipses...
But mostly tone down the exclamation points!
Good story, though.
Perfect....wow