If you switch to "desktop mode" in your mobile browser it seem to work (tested it a moment ago on Chrome running on my Android phone) - although it won't be the most pleasant experience for sure
But with Minion.......was it the 'whole stadium full of changlings' in this chapter or the 'Cadence's husband and her left for dead in a mine' part in the last chapter that gave it away
First of all - I LOVE the cover art however...
Sorry to break it to you man, but the story is still hard to read a few suggestions:
1. Register on https://grammarly.com and use it - even free version will help you eliminate simple - yet irritating - mistakes:
s1.postimg.org/lc8fdd8tb/gramma1.png
2. You really must try writing so that the words don't repeat so often:
s13.postimg.org/5rujx9t0n/gramma2.jpg
Notice how many times 'soon' is used - unfortunately overusing words in such manner tends to make the story tiresome to read.
3. Try to mix names with he/she/them/they tag more, so instead of:
try:
(sometimes, it's even better to omit the 'said' tag at all, if the context is established).
4. And again - if you haven't already - read the writing guide:
https://www.fimfiction.net/writing-guide
Seriously - Ezn did a great job writing that thing, and it can help a lot.
PLEASE NOTE: I'm NOT trying to discourage you from writing or anything like that! On the contrary! I'm trying to encourage you to improve
8066308 first off thanks for the link to that website. It looks like it would help.
But unfortunately I actually type my chapters off my phone and the website isn't mobile friendly.
Thank you for helping though
8066525
If you switch to "desktop mode" in your mobile browser it seem to work (tested it a moment ago on Chrome running on my Android phone) - although it won't be the most pleasant experience for sure
Twilight makes for a great partner to Frank... No, wrong movie.
Jokes aside, I like what you have done with this story so far, also, should I suppose that the driver of Minion was in fact Chrysalis?
8069953 I like the Death Race reference.
But with Minion.......was it the 'whole stadium full of changlings' in this chapter or the 'Cadence's husband and her left for dead in a mine' part in the last chapter that gave it away
8070002 What can I say, for all that I know the driver could be Thorax , I'm bad to read between lines
8070023 it's fine. We've all been there before.