• Published 11th Feb 2017
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Sea of Misfits - M48 Patton



Princess Twilight and her friends are sent to deal with some pirates. What they find is a ship from another dimension crewed by an unexpected cast.

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Chapter 5

“Cap'n, what in the name of tah reaper were yew thinkin'? Ah've told yew time an' time agin that yew leave any boarders tae me!” The pegasus mare all but screamed at her captain. She angrily tossed her crossbow onto the chart table.

“They was chasin' me!” The captain spat back while holding his head. “I saw an opportunity an' I too'kit!”

“What if they attacked yew before they went down?” The mare asked angrily.

“They're the Elements of Harm'ny, now will ye quit yer yelling? Me head feels as though it'd be split open.” The captain said, desperately clutching at his head.

The mare sighed heavily before walking over to the big unicorn standing in the doorway. He offered her the ice that had been taken from the ship's miraculous coolers and wrapped in a bandanna. Picking it up with her teeth, the pegasus mare walked back to the captain and gave it to him.

“Thanks.” He said before pressing to his head.

The mare was about to say something, but stopped and instead left the room. Walking out on deck, she took in a large gulp of the cool night air. The constant thrum of the strange engines vibrated up through the ship and into her hooves. It made her feel good, feel powerful.

The ship was still a marvel to her, it seemed as though the crew was always finding some new innovation aboard that only deepened the mystery of who built it and why. With a loud groan, she popped her wing joints and lay down on the metal deck, still warm from the day's sun.

There was a clattering of hooves and a small earth pony filly ran up to her. “Miz Stalker! Miz Stalker! The prisoners are waking!”

The mare was instantly up and facing down the little filly. “WHAT?” She yelled.

The filly fell over backwards in her attempt to keep her distance from the pegasus, but she managed to say her piece. “Mister Big Sail said to come get you and the captain! He said the prisoners are stirring!”

In a swift motion, the pegasus was airborne over the deck for less than a second before doing a corkscrew dive into one of the open deck hatches. She flared her wings at the last moment and hit the deck running, not bothering to use the impossibly steep staircases, instead merely diving head first into the hatch and rolling into a sprint through the corridors. Within moments, she arrived at the brig where the stallion known as Big Sail waited for her.

“The princess is starting to move, though she hasn't gotten up yet.” He explained.

The pegasus mare slowed her breathing and calmly nodded in affirmation. “Perfect.” She said with a smile.


Twilight's head hurt, that was all she knew. Desperately, she tried to figure out what happened and began to replay the events her mind. She groggily remembered something about a ship, pirates and. . . wait, pirates?

There was a loud clang, causing Twilight great pain in her head and she sat upright too quickly, causing even more pain.

“On yer hooves!” A loud voice yelled, causing Twilight to hate life for the pain that it was currently inflicting upon her head.

“Ow.” She whispered.

Still the voice persisted in torturing her. “Ah said on yer hooves!”

Twilight looked around and found she was in a small metal box with a barred door on one side. There was a gentle rocking motion that suggested she was on a ship and a constant vibration that Twilight couldn't put her hoof on as to what it was. On the other side of the bars was a cruel looking pegasus mare that hammered on the bars with her hoof. The sound made Twilight double over in pain as she clutched at her head.

“Com'on! Get up!” The mare yelled. “Ah've fought with worse than what yew've got!”

Twilight slowly got to her hooves and studied her surroundings with more scrutiny. The metal box was tall, tall enough for a fully grown minotaur to stand in without fear of hitting his horns. On one side was an oversized bed and underneath the bed was a bucket.

“Oh no.” Twilight whispered.

“Aye lassie, this not be a dream!” The pegasus mare chuckled darkly. “An' don' get any ideas aboot magicking yer way out! That's the most powerful inhibitor ring we could find, an' even if yew could take it off, these walls be magic proof!”

“Impossible!” Twilight said a little bit too loud, feeling the pain in her head spike.

The mare chuckled again. “Nay, nothin' be impossible on this ship!”

Twilight groaned and looked at her. “Who are you? Where are we and what have you done with my friends?”

The mare thought about this for a second before answering. “Tae answer the first; Storm Stalker be me name, Ah'm but a humble pirate, sec'nd in command to the cap'n of this here vessel. As fer the second question, Ah'm not too sure for Ah have'nae taken a look at the charts as of late. An' fer the third, well, why don' yew ask them yerself? I do believe they be wakin' up.”

Twilight looked past the pirate to see three other cells, each holding another pony. She could see Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy across the passageway, and she could also hear Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie to the left of her cell.

Rainbow Dash was the first to realize that her new room was not a luxury suite and promptly raised her voice to a level normally reserved for Luna's Canterlot Royal Voice. Twilight groaned and tried to cast a sound proofing spell across the door to her cell, but the inhibitor ring delivered a shock to her horn as she did so.

The pirate laughed at her pain and ignored Rainbow's outburst. “Ah'm sorry Princess, but as Ah said before, that be the most powerful inhibitor ring we could lay our dirty hooves on.”

Rarity promptly ran up to the door of her own cell, an inhibitor ring preventing her from grabbing the pirate and throwing her across the passageway. “Let us out immediately! Do you realize who we are?”

The pegasus whirled on Rarity and was at her door in the blink of an eye. “AYE!” The pirate yelled. “AYE! AH KNOW WHO YE BE!”

Rarity shrunk back to the far part of her cell in an effort to put as much distance between her and the wild-eyed mare at her cell door.

“WHY?” The pirate bellowed. “WHY COULD YE NOT LEAVE US BE? WHY DID YE HAVE TO COME AFTER OUR LITTLE SHIP?”

Twilight cringed at the pirate's yelling, but she took the initiative to defend her friend and also try and coerce some information from the mare. “Because you're criminals! You attacked innocent trading vessels and stole their hard-earned cargo!”

The pirate turned back to Twilight, her eyes glinting dangerously. “Aye, that we did. We took what we needed, an' no more. Cap'n expected trouble, but fer yew to show up. . .”

The pirate's shoulders sagged and she slowly began to make her way towards the only door in the passageway.

“Equestria will have our heads fer sure.” She mumbled loud enough for only Twilight to hear.

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash yelled. “I'm not finished with you! Get back here!”

The heavy slam of a metal door was her only response. Twilight looked away from the door and began to take stock of the situation. “Rarity, are you alright?” She quietly called.

Rarity stepped forward and nodded, though thoroughly shaken by the pirate. “Yes, of course dear.”

“Applejack?”

“Still here!” Applejack called from the cell next to Rarity's. “Though my head feels as if Big Mac just bucked it.”

Twilight sighed. “I feel the same way. Fluttershy?”

A tiny voice called out from the cell farthest from her own. “I'm okay.”

“Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah, here.” She said grumpily.

“Pinkie Pie?”

A pink hoof reached out from the cell next to Twilight's. “Right here!”

Twilight didn't even know how she accomplished a feat as simple as that, the bars were much too close together for a pony to put a hoof through. Her headache was receding though, so she was able to think a little more clearly.

Using only just the slightest hint of magic, she pushed on the inhibitor ring. It delivered a mild shock as well as suppressing her magic. Twilight grimaced. This particular type of ring had been banned by the Equestrian military for being cruel to prisoners, but it did have a fatal flaw.

The ring was designed with the idea that the unicorn wearing the ring would be using attack magic, and so the ring was able to counter quick but strong amounts of magic effectively while also delivering a shock to the wearer. However, it was too delicate to handle exposure to magic over a long period of time and would burn out.

It still remained the most popular inhibitor ring of the underworld due to the fact that the longer the magic was used, the more it shocked the user. It would take a unicorn an entire day of constant magical pressure against the ring in order for it to short out, and in that time the wearer could possibly receive major injuries to their horn or skull.

However, there was one thing that the designers had never counted on, the ring was currently being worn by an alicorn. Twilight figured it would take her about four or five hours to overload the ring, an easy enough task given the large amounts of power Twilight held in reserve. As for the electrocuting of her brain, that could easily be taken care of in the form of a shield spell on the ring itself. The result would leave the ring a useless piece of metal and Twilight unscathed and ready for combat.

The door opened and the sound of tiny hooves echoed through the passageway. A green unicorn filly with a lemon mane and tail pranced through the open door while holding six trays in her magic. She happily walked up to Twilight's cell and stared in amazement.

“Cor! You really are a princess!” She squealed in delight.

With an elaborate flourish, the filly managed a bow while at the same time slipped one of the trays through the opening in the bars. It floated gracefully down and landed on the floor, revealing a porridge type substance in a flat bowl, two pieces of fruit and a cracker.

Twilight looked down at the tray and then back at the filly. “Thank you!” She beamed.

The filly jumped up and down for joy while the five other trays were whipped off to the other cells. The little unicorn didn't even look at what she was doing as her magic threaded the five trays through the opening and placed them on the floors in front of the Twilight's friends.

“Are you really the Princess of Friendship?” The filly asked excitedly. “Does that mean we can be friends? I've always wanted to be friends with a princess!”

Twilight nodded eagerly. “Of course! I'd love to be your friend! What's your name?”

The filly could barely contain her joy as she hopped back and forth. “My name's Sour Rain, but most ponies around here call me Drip! We don't talk much!”

Twilight frowned as she took a bite out of her fruit. “Well, I'm not most ponies. Sour Rain, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I'd be happy to talk to you anytime you want.”

The unicorn's squeal of delight could probably be heard throughout the entire ship. “Oh would you? That'd be the best thing ever!”

There was a clank and the door opened up to reveal a large unicorn. “Drip!” He barked. “Quit playin' around an' get back to the kitchens!”

Sour Rain turned and saluted with her left hoof. “Aye aye, mistah Big Sail!”

Her horn glowed again and six trays made their way through the bars and stacked themselves. She looked at Twilight and smiled again. “It was so nice meeting you Miss Twilight! I'll be back again later with dinner!”

Rain turned to leave, but stopped. “Oh! I forgot! Welcome aboard the Marblehead!”

Twilight waved at the unicorn as she dashed through the opening, the trays following as if they were pursuing the little filly. The door slammed shut and Twilight and her friends were alone again.

Twilight leaned against the side of her cell, several thoughts filling her head. First and foremost was how to win over the Sour Rain and get her to help Twilight and her friends. Then Twilight would have to figure out how to subdue the crew and somehow take the ship back into Equestrian waters.

Finally, the last few nagging question made its way to the front of her mind. Who built this ship, how did they build it out of materials that reflected magic, was there an alicorn aboard, and who in their right minds would name a ship the Marblehead?


Big Sail slammed the door shut and turned to Storm Stalker and Sour Rain.

“Well?” He asked.

In a flash of green fire, the little filly turned into a bulky earth pony stallion. “She's up to something.” He said.

Storm Stalker sighed. “Well, Ah'll go tell the cap'n.

Author's Note:

As you can already tell, I struggle with naming characters. As always, feedback is appreciated!