Sea of Misfits

by M48 Patton

Chapter 1

'Snore'

“Pleeeeeeeease?”

“No.”

'Snore'

“But it's so perfect!”

“No!”

'Snore'

. . .

'Snore-Cough cough' AAAAAGH!”

“Pinkie!”

Twilight stared disapprovingly at the little pink gremlin that was rolling around on the floor laughing while Rainbow Dash lived up to her name as she flew out the door at the end of the coach, screaming the entire way. Several passengers sat bolt upright at the sound of a pony in distress and were surprised to see a sonic rainboom out their windows as a cyan mare rocketed off towards the nearest clouds.

“Pinkie!” Twilight said again. “I told you no!”

“But it was just so perfect! And besides, she was snoring!” Pinkie said through her laughter.

“That still doesn't give you any right to pour hot sauce down her throat!” Twilight scolded.

“Sure it does!” Said Pinkie as she pulled a book from her mane. “Under article three, paragraph nine of the Rules for Jokes!”

Applejack leaned over and grabbed the bottle from where it was laying on the floor. “What kind of sauce is this? Rainbow's tasted some pretty hot stuff before, never known anything to do that to her.” She read the label out loud. “Flaming Ghost-pepper Hot Sauce? Pinkie, are you nuts?”

Applejack's hoof shot out and covered Pinkie's mouth before she could answer. “Don't answer that.”

Twilight was appalled and said so. “Pinkie, that stuff can melt paint! Why would you do that to Rainbow Dash?”

Pinkie became deadly serious, her smile vanished and her eyes took on a dangerous glint. “Payback Twilight!” Her muzzle was suddenly touching Twilight's. “Do you know what Rainbow Dash did to me last month? She replaced my flour with itching powder. ITCHING POWDER! I couldn't make cupcakes that morning!”

“Not to mention the fact that your hooves became so inflamed that you couldn't walked for two days, darling.” Rarity interjected as she continued to read her fashion magazine.

“THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!” Pinkie yelled. “HAVE YOU EVER MADE CUPCAKES WITH ITCHING POWDER?”

“Ah'm sure you tried.” Applejack rolled her eyes.

“AND THEY TASTED TERRIBLE!”

Rarity gave Pinkie a sympathetic glance. “That would explain why you wouldn't talk to anypony after that either.”

“And the reason why Sugar Cube Corner's plumbing had to be redone.” Applejack finished.

Twilight face hooved and looked at Fluttershy. “So, Fluttershy, how are your animals?”

Fluttershy, who had been staring at the enraged Pinkie in fear, turned to Twilight and smiled. “Oh, they're doing quite well. They're getting quite independent now that I'm gone all the time.”

“And you're not worried about them getting too independent and leaving you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh no.” Fluttershy shook her head while maintaining her grin. “I always leave Angel in charge and the rest of the animals are always so happy when I get back.”

Now it was Twilight's turn to roll her eyes. “I can't imagine why.”

Further discussion regarding the tyranny of a tiny white rabbit was interrupted when a familiar cyan mare slammed open the door at the end of the carriage and yelled “PIIIIIIIINKIIIIE!”

Rainbow Dash was completely soak as if she had been swimming, but her cheeks were a rosy red and her tongue (that had visible heat waves rising from it) was hanging out of one side of her mouth.

Pinkie took one look at her, jumped in the air, flailed her hooves and said “Meep Meep!” And then she was gone in the other direction with a cloud of pink dust floating behind her.

“You ain't getting away that easy!” Rainbow screamed as she gave chase, almost causing a sonic rainboom inside the coach.

Twilight sighed and settled back into her seat. Applejack saw her in distress and trotted over. “Don't worry about it none, those two could kill each other and still be best of friends.” She said.

“It's not them, I'm used to their pranks by now. It's this letter from Princess Celestia.” Twilight explained.

Applejack chuckled. “Twilight, every time Princess Celestia sends you a letter, it's about another national emergency. Ah would think that after dealing with Discord, Tirek and all those other crazies out there, takin' down a pirate ship should seem like a vacation to us!”

“That's just it, Applejack.” Twilight sat up and looked at her friend. “Celestia would only call us if it is a national emergency. If this was just some pirates going around causing trouble, the Royal Guard could deal with it easily. The fact that she called us leads me to believe that these pirates pose a threat to Equestria, maybe the entire ocean! What kind of pirates have that kind of power?”

“Now don't get all worked up about it!” Applejack interrupted her with a stern look. “So what if these pirates ain't normal, we'll deal with it just like we always do. As friends.”

Twilight smiled at Applejack's simple words of encouragement. “You're right. It's silly of me to worry about something as small as a band of pirates.”

Applejack smiled back and was about to say something else when the door to the carriage was thrown open and Rainbow Dash shot past cackling like a maniacal villain. Pinkie followed soon after with a shaved mane, screaming about revenge. The pair vanished into the next car.

Rarity used her magic to levitate a brush and smooth out her mane while continuing to read the magazine. “Yes, well it's all very well to worry about what awaits us on the open ocean, but right now I'm more worried about the train staying on the tracks.”

Twilight jumped out of her seat and walked towards the front of the car. “I'll go stop them from blowing up the engine.”

She slammed the door shut behind her. Rarity turned and studied Applejack for a moment, specifically her stetson. “You know Applejack, have you ever considered-”

“Nope.” Applejack said and pushed the hat over her eyes, settling in for a nap.

---

Canterlot station was crowded as usual, ponies always in a rush to get somewhere no matter how fast the train got them there.

As Twilight stepped off the train, she took in a deep breath and then let it out with satisfied sigh. It was good to be home again, even if she would be leaving again shortly to deal with a band of nefarious pirates.

Rarity stepped off behind her with a large smile. “Ah Canterlot! The heart of fashion!”

“We ain't here for shopping, so get it out of your head now.” Applejack said as she exited the coach.

Rarity merely “Hmphed” and turned away. Fluttershy followed Applejack's lead and stood near Twilight, she was doing much better with crowds and now had no fear of them, unless somepony she didn't know came up and tried to talk with her, then she would hide behind her friends. Most of the time Twilight tried to encourage Fluttershy to try and engage in a conversation, but she had also blasted that one stallion for coming up and commenting on Fluttershy's flanks. That had been a disaster.

Pinkie Pie happily bounced off the train, somehow having regrown her mane while her friends weren't looking. A thoroughly singed Rainbow Dash followed after her, still muttering about how shaving a mane did not warrant being shoved into the firebox of a steam engine.

Once her friends were accounted for, Twilight got them moving towards the castle. It was much like herding cats. Applejack and Fluttershy were easy enough; Applejack just kept moving ahead at a slow and steady pace while Fluttershy stuck close to Applejack.

Rarity, however, was constantly being distracted by various clothing shops and tried to excuse herself more than once claiming that a fashionista such as herself couldn't possibly go to sea without a nautical wardrobe. Rainbow Dash was constantly flying up and trying to practice maneuvers, and Pinkie Pie disappeared but Twilight figured that she'd show up right about when the meeting with Celestia started.

Upon arriving at the castle, the guards immediately granted them entrance and directed them to the throne room. Walking up to the massive door, Twilight slowly took a breath in and let it out, closed her eyes and mentally prepared herself for the coming task. Then, she lifted her hoof and knocked once, twice, and then Pinkie made her appearance by performing a flying kick through the door.

“Surprise!” She yelled, sliding to a stop in front of the throne. Celestia looked down and raised an eyebrow, frowning. She stayed like this for a few moments before a slight smile played at the edges of her mouth.

Turning to the other pony in the room, a blue unicorn holding a stack of papers his magic, Celestia addressed him. “Thank you for your proposal, however, I'm afraid that I must cut our meeting short. Please leave your documents with my assistant and I will review them at a later date.”

The unicorn bowed and turned away, throwing an ugly glance in Twilight's direction as he left. As soon as he was gone, Celestia smiled widely stepped down off her throne.

“Twilight, thank you for coming so quickly.”

Twilight bowed as did the rest of her friends, Pinkie somehow joining them without her noticing, and then smiled back at Celestia. “It's good to see you again, Princess Celestia.”

“You can drop the formalities, Twilight, we're not princess and student anymore, I view all of you as close friends.” Celestia said as she approached the group.

Gesturing for them to follow, Celestia led the way to a side door. “I wish that our meeting was not one of urgency, but as I told you in my letter, the news from the coast is most distressing.”

Twilight nodded in agreement. “From what I was able to deduce from the letter, it sounds as though these pirates are quite formidable.”

“Perhaps.” Celestia mused. “Their ship is unlike anything that is of this world, but it is so fast that the Royal Cutters cannot hope to match its speed.”

“That's impossible!” Twilight exclaimed. “The Sun Runner was once able to make twenty-one knots!”

“The Sun Runner gave pursuit and using both a favorable wind and magic, was able to achieve twenty knots.” Celestia said grimly. “And yet this ship was so fast that it not only outran the Sun Runner but also two other frigates that were waiting in ambush.”

“What about airships?” Twilight asked.

Celestia sighed. “The airship Grim Pursuit was following the ship into a storm front before they encounter a headwind. The captain of the airship said the wind was strong enough to rip the fabric apart and the pegasus scouts themselves could not even make any progress after the pirates. The airship itself was a total loss and the crew had to be fished from the water by the Equestrian Navy. The pirate ship simply carried on into the storm without even slowing down.”

“But how?” Applejack raised the question that everypony was wondering. “How could they move that fast without sails?”

Celestia opened the door and admitted them to a room full of maps. On a central table lay a map of the Equestrian eastern coast.

“That is what worries me.” Celestia answered. “For a ship that large to move so quickly, I fear that powerful magic must be in play. Very powerful.”

She stopped and looked directly at her prized student. “Twilight, in order to move such a large ship, at such speeds, and to maintain that speed for such long periods of time, would require nothing less than an alicorn.”

There was a collective gasp from the Element Bearers as what Celestia had just admitted sunk in.

Rainbow Dash began to sputter. “But that's impossible! There's only four-”

“Five.” Applejack corrected.

“five alicorns in existence!”

Celestia nodded. “Precisely, and that is why I have called you in order to investigate this ship.”

Rainbow Dash began to hover and saluted. “You can count on us!” She said before she zoomed out the door shortly before returning. “Aren't you guys coming?” She asked.

“Rainbow Dash, your enthusiasm is commendable, but would it not be better to gain some vital information before you set out on your journey?” Celestia asked with a patient smile.

Rainbow gave a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of her head. “Eheh, sorry. I'm so used to you telling us what the problem is and then sending us off blindly.”

Celestia frowned and fixed Rainbow with a rather annoyed look, but remained silent. Twilight used this as an opportunity to step up to the map and study it.

“Are these points were the pirates attacked?” She asked while pointing at the little black flags on the map.

Celestia nodded. “Yes, at least the ones that we know of. Most of the time, pirates stay away from the coast because they fear our navy and only raid the ships crossing the Eastern Sea, but these pirates have no fear of our ships and have struck at our coastal merchants.”

Twilight was suddenly interested in a flag that was on the coast itself. “Princess Celestia, if this map is correct, than they've even attacked on land!”

“Yes, the Bright Light Refinery. Ninety percent of Equestria's lantern oil is drilled for and refined there. The pirates raided it and stole twenty-thousand gallons of crude oil.” Celestia affirmed.

“Twenty-thousand gallons? What in your name could they possibly want with that much oil?” Twilight asked, stunned at the news.

Applejack stomped her hoof. “Now it's personal! No wonder Ah wasn't able to use mah lanterns for an entire week! That's when the fruit bats got into the orchards again!”

Celestia raised her voice slightly. “I do not know what nefarious plans they have, but I do know that it must be stopped at all costs. Twilight, what I am asking of you and your friends maybe extremely dangerous, and I can only urge you to exercise caution in the execution of this mission.”

Twilight nodded. “Don't worry, we'll have those pirates in jail before they can hurt one more innocent pony!”

She was going to say more but was interrupted by a firm knock on the door.

“Enter.” Celestia called. A Royal Guard pushed open the door and stepped inside.

“Your highness.” He said as he bowed low to the ground. “I apologize for the interruption, however I bring news of another attack by pirates.”

“What happened? Was anypony hurt?” Twilight asked hurriedly.

“No, the schooner Wave Runner was boarded by the pirates and relieved of most of their cargo, however the captain of the vessel did not resist and was allowed to continue without harm and made it to port. Unfortunately, the Wave Runner had been carrying fresh fruit from the farms in the north and food prices have risen in Manehattan.”

Celestia frowned at the news, her eyes betraying both anger and sadness. “Thank you. Please send my regards to the captain of the schooner and reimburse them for the lost cargo.”

He saluted, but didn't leave. “Princess, there is one other thing. The “Manehattan Times” has acquired the story despite our best efforts to keep a low profile. They released it on the front page news and we fear that it may start a panic.”

Celestia audibly growled, her anger rising, but then took a deep breath and was once again the serene and peaceful ruler that everypony saw her as.

“Thank you, I will deal with this personally. You are dismissed.” The guard turned and left.

Once the door was closed, Celestia let a little of her composure slip. “Sometimes I wonder if those who run the newspapers in this country have the intelligence of foals!”

She fixed Twilight with an intense stare. “You must stop these pirates, soon. If the public begins to lose faith in the Equestrian Royal Navy, trade along the coast may shut down altogether and that would be disastrous for the entire nation.”

“I understand.” Twilight said

“Good, I leave this in your capable hooves.” Celestia turned to walk out, but stopped and turned back to Twilight. “Please be careful, there is no telling what awaits you in the Eastern Ocean. If you need anything, and I mean anything, just ask.”

Twilight bowed. “Thank you for your concern, but I don't think that you have anything to worry about.”

Celestia's smile returned to her face, although it looked a little forced, and then she walked out the door. Once she left, Twilight's five friends turn expectantly to her.

“Well Twi, you have a plan?” Applejack asked.

Twilight turned back to the map and thought carefully. “Yes, yes I do.” She said as she smiled. “But we're going to need a ship.”

“What good is a ship going to do us?” Rainbow threw her hooves in the air as she said this. “Those pirates can outrun anything in the navy!”

“Not a warship.” Twilight countered. “We're going to use a nice slow merchant ship, loaded with lots of goodies and practically begging for a pirate ship to attack.”

Rarity's eyes danced and she giggled. “Ooooh, deception! I like it!”

Applejack wore a huge grin. “And then when those pirates come to take our cargo, POW! We hit 'em right back!”

Twilight nodded, her grin almost reaching her ears. “Couldn't have said it better myself!”

Author's Note:

So, I just wrote a chapter involving the main six I just doomed myself forever and ever. Feedback is always appreciated.

Comments

[Gotland]

Why do I feel like there plan is going to go horribly wrong?