Polaris

by Bookish Delight

3: So Long, My Love

My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle,

Given the events of days past, I feel it is finally time to teach you the finer points of magic. Please meet me in the castle courtyard at your earliest convenience.

Yours Truly,
Princess Celestia

---

Twilight read the note once more, then willed it into nothingness.

She emerged from from Canterlot Castle's gates, trotting leisurely along the estate's main path. Her only companions were the morning sun, singing birds, and a tune she hummed to herself. The scent of freshly-cut grass tickled her nose with each step, keeping her spirits high.

"Finer points of magic?" Twilight wasn't sure what the Princess was getting at. But whatever it was, it would mean more learning. Learning was always just fine with Twilight Sparkle. Her skips became faster and more excited.

She reached the courtyard before the outer gates. "Princess Celestia?"

Celestia was nowhere to be found. Furthermore, the courtyard was completely deserted. Twilight called out a little louder. "Princess Celestia? I got your note. Where are you?"

Morning became evening in the space of two seconds.

The temperature dropped to half of what it had been in an instant. Dark clouds materialized in the sky amidst a full moon. Twilight looked around nervously. "W-what's going on?"

Laughter echoed in the sky in reply. A jet-black pegasus unicorn descended from the now-murky heavens on a spiraling path. Upon landing, lightning flashed for a half-second--just long enough to illuminate her armor.

"Nightmare Moon?" Twilight backed away, doing her best to hide the hitch in her throat. "But you were defeated!"

"Defeated?" Nightmare Moon said amidst more laughter. "Have you not heard, Twilight Sparkle? Malice is eternal! Still, if it's royal company you crave, feel free to take part in mine... forever!"

Electricity crackled from Nightmare Moon's horn, prompting Twilight to dodge and flee. She darted left and right across the field, leaping away from several blasts in the process. All of them left blackened, scorched grass patches where her hooves had been half a second before.

As she evaded the assault, she concentrated her powers, causing her horn to glow, and grow brighter every second. Once halfway across the courtyard, she was ready. She turned around and stood her ground, ready to unleash her strongest spell...

...whereupon the grass was literally pulled out from under her.

"Whoa!"

She rolled backwards. The world tumbled, round and round, before her head collided with the moist earth. Rain and splotches of mud soaked her coat. Dizzy and coughing, she looked up.

Her vision cleared, and she was greeted with another heart-dropping sight standing over her: a collection of creature parts combined to form a malicious whole. "Wait... Discord, too?"

"Surprise." The chimera flashed a toothy grin at Twilight. He then looked to Nightmare Moon, and mock-gasped. "Oh, my stars and garters! My very own corrupted Princess? For me? Really, Twilight, you shouldn't have."

Nightmare Moon rolled her eyes. "She didn't."

"No? Well, more's the pity." Discord shrugged. "Still, I always believe in making the most of a good situation. I know this cute little volcano near Tartarus where the torture of innocents never ends-"

"Wonderful!" Nightmare Moon met his gaze with a sneer. "Let's go there. I can help you join them."

Discord raised his arms with a dramatic sigh. "Fine, fine. I can take a hint." He turned to Twilight. "Sorry, Miss Sparkle. It looks like this won't be a lucky day for either of us." He snapped his fingers. "Charge, my minions."

Twilight looked around. "Minions?"

The storm doubled in intensity just as she managed to stand, and the extra water caused the ground to become muddy under her hooves. She yelped as she sloshed about, futilely trying to shake off as much of the biting cold and slimy soil as possible.

Around her, the grass and mud took several vaguely equine shapes, forming an army surrounding her as far as she could see in every direction.

They advanced.

Amidst desperate, quickening breaths, Twilight fired every spell she could to keep them away from her. Violet bolts flew from her horn, disintegrating her foes on contact...

...only for Twilight to recoil in horror as copies were quickly created in their place from the same water and soil.

Panicking officially became an option. No matter how many she destroyed, she would see a new one pop up in front of her eyes a second later. What little ground she held was lost, and the battle ended with four of them grabbing each of her limbs. With a strength far greater than their fluid forms would have suggested, they treated her struggles as if they were nothing.

Through the soaked hairs of her mane, she could just make out the two villains approaching her helpless form. "I don't understand. I... I already stopped you. How are you even here?"

Nightmare Moon laughed long and loudly. "Oh, Twilight, ever the comedian! You just answered your own question!" She leaned in close, her muzzle a single inch away from Twilight's ear, and spoke softly. "We've come to show you the truth."

"What do you mean?" Twilight coughed. "W-what truth?"

"Our defeats only happened because you've always been bailed out. By your precious friends. Your precious family. Your precious..." Discord spit to the side. "...princesses! But here and now, we get to see what the name 'Twilight Sparkle,' on its own, is really worth."

"Looks like not much of anything," Nightmare Moon sang.

She raised her hoof, and swept it horizontally in the air. On cue, thunder sounded and lightning flashed.

And on that signal, the mud-ponies holding Twilight's limbs pulled-

---

"-NO!"

Her eyes snapped open. She raised her head and looked around. Her only companions were the morning sun and singing birds. The rest was silence.

Twilight looked around for clues as to her unfamiliar location. The luxurious bed she was currently lying on. The shelves. The dresser. The expansive cylindrical design of the room, its soothing blue decor... but no mountains of books to be found.

That last was important. It meant she was in the guest room in one of the high towers--in particular, the same one she'd set Rarity up with around the time of her birthday.

Hearing hoofsteps, she looked towards the door. A familiar pink pegasus unicorn walked in, and sat on the bed by her side. Twilight slumped back into semi-unconsciousness with a groan.

Her companion would have none of it. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

Twilight rubbed her eyes, groaning again as she felt her mane being ruffled. "Mmmmm... what time is it?"

"Few minutes to noon." Princess Cadance's voice was light and mirthful. "Shining Armor and I have been up for roughly an hour." She smiled down at Twilight, switching from ruffling to caressing her mane tenderly. "What's your excuse?"

"Was chasing... shooting star... slow balloon..." Twilight mumbled, before finally snapping to full alertness. "Wait... Cadance!" she cried, leaping to hug her old foalsitter. "I-I... I had the worst..."

"A nightmare?"

Twilight nodded, and could then feel Cadance exhale sharply before embracing back. "So did I. I dreamt I didn't make my wedding. But that's a nightmare that will never come true now."

"And thank goodness."

Cadance smiled. "No, thank Twilight Sparkle." As Twilight blushed, she added, "I have a little bit of time before I go on my vacation. I wanted to spend it with you. There's a lot we could stand to catch up on."

Twilight nodded. "I think I'd like that. A lot, actually. Especially after all that's happened."

Cadance nodded back. "Yes. I think we both need this."

---
"Polaris"
A My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Fanfiction
Part 3: "So Long, My Love"
by Bookish Delight, 2011-2012
All characters and referred properties belong to Hasbro.
---

"It's my swing!"
"No, it's my swing!"
"No, I want this swing! It's better!"
"I know it's better! That's why it's mine! Go find your own!"
"I did! It's the one that's right here!"

"Oh my," said Cadance as the two arrived at a nearby park. She and Twilight looked from right to left: sandbox, slides, sports field, and swings at the very end. The latter had long been the main attraction, and two fillies had just taken intense notice. "Looks like I'll be putting a stop to this."

"Wait, Princess." Twilight held up a hoof and stepped in front of Cadance. "Please... allow me."

Her horn glowed as she concentrated. A miniature book soon emerged above her, and floated through the air. It came to rest over the two girls' heads, then snapped into halves, one being absorbed by each of them.

"Hold, dear friend! What we are doing is irrational!"

The change was instant.

"After all, in point of truest fact, both swings do contain the same workponyship, the same consistency of material, and, depending on who swings it, the same lift potential."
"Oh, agreed! Mind you, swinging is an utterly reckless activity anyway. What if one were to fall off? Permanent brain damage is not my vision of an ideal future!"
"Indeed! New companion, would you like to partake of the wonders of the library with me?"
"Would I?"

Cadance watched the fillies don glasses and trot off, her mouth agape. "I... I don't know if that was genius or evil."

Twilight smiled and giggled. "It'll wear off. Sadly. Besides, this one actually is the best swing." She approached the swing that had been fought over, and looked at Cadance with happy eyes. "Partly because it's a whole two feet closer from the park's entrance, but more because it's the one you used to push me from." She sat down and added, "For old time's sake?"

"Absolutely," said Cadance, taking her place behind Twilight posthaste.

---

"Twilight Sparkle! It's been ages!"
"Clarity! Oh my gosh, you're still here?"
"This is my home, Twilight. You know that! So long as I still draw breath, this shall ever be my domain. I'll be here a while yet! Wahahahahhaha-... um... ahem. Yes. Well, what can I do for you? Oh, and Princess Cadance as well, I see! Always an honor!"

"Returned," said Cadance with a smile. "It's been even longer for me, however. I remember your look, but not much else."

"It's okay. I, um... tended to take up all of her time," said Twilight in a sheepish voice. "Reintroductions: Princess Cadance, meet Clarity Jane." She gestured to the unicorn they'd just approached, who bore an orange coat, a long red mane and tail, glasses, and a cutie mark in the shape of a bookshelf. "Everypony calls her The Bookmistress. She watches over Canterlot Central Library and makes sure it's always perfectly organized. Plus she's got the location of any title you could want in her mind, no matter where in Equestria it might be!" Twilight let out a dreamy sigh. "All us bookworms revere her."

Clarity rolled her eyes and chuckled. "I hated being made to blush all those years ago, Twilight, and nothing's changed. What brings you here, anyway? I haven't seen you in a good few years!"

"Catching up with old friends. Though I do have a request."

"'Request?'" Clarity pushed up her glasses. "That's a word I haven't heard from you in a decade. I thought Princess Celestia provided you with every book ever."

Twilight huffed. "Sure, for magic studies. Which... this isn't." Her face felt hot as she leaned in and whispered. "Do you have any of the Special Spectacle series around?"

For a rare moment, Clarity Jane was struck speechless. Her eyes and mouth widened before she managed to regain her composure. She leaned in with her own whisper. "Twilight. You? Recreational reading? Especially of that nature?"

Twilight's next words came out in a rush. "Well a pegasus friend of mine got into the Daring Do series of books so once she was done with the first one I gave her I checked my library to see if there any more and well there were but close to them I also found the first of those books and I swear I laughed at it at first but then I decided to quickly scan the first few pages out of morbid curiosity and-"

She stopped to take a deep breath.

"-I didn't expect to wish I had her life by the halfway point! I mean, come on! She's a cool problem solver who uses big words, tricks everyone, wins magic-fights, and gets anypony she wants 'cause they all find her smarts super-hot! That's my dream!" She flopped her head on the desk with a moan. "I'm so weak."

Clarity stroked Twilight's mane. "There, there, child. I'll confide--I have a weakness for such fantasies too. As do several unicorns. It's no wonder she took off."

She blinked her eyes, and in seconds, ten paperbacks were stacked on the desk. (A hundred feet away, a unicorn was knocked on her flank in surprise as those selfsame books disappeared off the shelf directly in front of her.) "She's been a around a while. I suggest starting with these."

"Really?" Twilight jerked her head up, then tackle-hugged Clarity. "Oh my gosh I'm going to be in total heaven thank you thank you thank you-"

Clarity laughed. "It's nothing, really. But I'll need proof of membership. A formality with you, I know, but rules are rules."

"Oh, I understand completely." A shiny golden card with Twilight's picture on the side appeared, and levitated in front of them. Clarity produced her own. The two shared a silent shining moment.

"Bless you, child," said the librarian.

"I should be saying that to you. You've helped me out for so long." Seeing Cadance's stare, Twilight explained. "Technically, I'm Ponyville's branch owner. We all have these gold ones." She chuckled. "I never leave the treehouse without it."

She levitated the novels into a nearby saddlebag. As she and Cadance headed towards the exit, they noticed two familiar-looking fillies.

"Wait a minute, what are we DOING here?"
"And why are we wearing these stupid glasses?"
"Oh my gosh! We're in... we're in the library! We almost buried ourselves in books! Ewwwwwwwwwwww!"
"Double ewww! My big sister's here a lot. I don't know how she finds his place fun. Quick, let's get out before anypony from school sees us!"

Twilight's hoof met her forehead. Cadance laughed.

---

After a hearty late lunch consisting of heaping helpings of hay and apple stew, Twilight relaxed. She marveled at the clouds passing her by every few seconds as the wind whipped past her face and through her mane.

Though technically on the receiving end of a free sky tour on Cadance's back, she knew she still had a part to play. She diligently kept her end of the bargain by making sure dessert was taken care of, in the form of two levitating ice cream cones. Both were laced with structural integrity spells to prevent their contents from flying off into oblivion. "So, have you decided where you're going for your honeymoon?"

"I was wondering when that was going to come up." Cadance grinned. "Shining and I have decided on a complete change from Canterlot. And sorry, but that's truly all you're going to get out of me until the inevitable newspaper headlines." She scoffed. "Honestly, end up born with a horn and wings and it seems only one city in the world will give you a moment's peace."

"Well, it's not every day royalty makes itself known outside of Canterlot, right?"

"Actually, that'd be where you're mistaken. We get out quite a bit. We simply disguise ourselves so as not to be noticed. It allows us to witness the state of our people without drawing too much attention." Cadance chuckled. "Celestia in particular is quite fond of this practice--when she's not soaking in the limelight, anyway."

Twilight gasped. "Really? I never thought of that! So... why not do that this time, too?"

"Because pulling that off takes work, and this is a vacation." She slowed her flight, smiling back to her sister-in-law. "Fuel up?"

"Huh?" Twilight looked perplexed for a second. "Oh, of course! Got it!" She floated one of the ice cream cones in front of Cadance, who took several long licks.

"Mmmmm, that's the stuff. Okay, off we go, then! Still in this direction?"

Twilight nodded. "Yep! We're almost there."

"Got it. So why are we flying this far out, anyway?"

Twilight's mind flashed to a thunderstorm. "Something I need to check on." Less than a minute later, she pointed. "There it is!"

"I see it. Prepare for touchdown, Twilight."

Cadance did a slow spiral and landed at the edge of a brilliant-green meadow. It stretched on forever behind them, while ending abruptly in front of them with a breathtaking view of a rocky valley.

"Canterlot Cliffs. It's been so long." Twilight stepped off and looked around. "I used to come here whenever I needed time to myself. To study, to read, to think, to get away from all the other ponies." Her head lowered. "Even family when I thought I needed to. For some reason, nopony ever found out about me and this place." She gave Cadance a knowing look. "Except for one. Always wondered about that."

Cadance padded the soft grass with her hooves, looking apprehensive. Twilight appeared oblivious, but otherwise happy, even peaceful.

"Gosh, it hasn't changed a bit." Twilight walked amongst the sparse amount of trees which dotted the landscape. Their leaves gave off shuffling sounds in the breeze. "I used to read under that tree. And write under that one! And, uh..." She sheepishly pointed to one last tree. "...hit that with one magical bolts a lot. I wonder if trees can hear apologies-"

"Twilight?"

"Huh?" The unicorn started as she felt Cadance sidle against her, slowly and softly. Their coats brushed against each other, warm and ticklish as they met. One sniff left Twilight with a momentary craving for strawberries. "Cadance? What's the matter?"

"Oh... don't mind me, Twilight. It's just that I'm realizing your brother was right. And it relieves me so. Hearing you speak like this tells me that all in Canterlot is truly back as it should be."

"You mean with the threat of the changelings past?"

Cadance hesitated before replying. "Yes, Twilight. I... have a confession to make."

Curiosity and apprehension melded as Twilight pressed on. "What is it?"

Cadance looked out, past the cliffs. "It's about how I was captured in the first place. When we were reunited back in the caves, do you remember how I cowered?"

Twilight nodded. "I do. I also remember how I didn't do much to help put you at ease. Sorry about that." Her eyebrows furrowed as she remembered the incident. "I was just so angry, I-"

"No, it's okay. Chrysalis knew exactly what she was doing. You played your part as I did mine, with her pulling all of our strings." Cadance took a deep breath. "Changelings aren't mind readers, Twilight. They're heart-readers. They take the form of one they sense your heart having a special place for. Shining Armor is near and dear to me, but a lot of that happened in thanks to you. And that's not even taking our own history into account."

"Wait, you mean..." Twilight felt a knot slowly growing in her heart. Her next words came out no stronger than a whisper. "...she took my form?"

Cadance nodded. "I think she wanted to use somepony whose double she knew she wouldn't run into for a while. You met me at my dwellings, out of nowhere, early one morning. Fed me a story about being there to visit Celestia, but wanting to catch up with me first." She shook her head. "Let me tell you, I was overjoyed. It was only then I realized just how terribly I'd missed your company." She brushed her head against Twilight's.

Twilight returned the gesture, and felt Cadance relax. "It's all right. I'm creeped out by her, but flattered by you. Please, continue. Don't worry about me."

"I have to. Job description and all that. But thank you." Cadance stepped away and paced as she continued her story. "We went into the city, just like today. However, each place we visited, I could feel something was off. You spiked a volleyball. Drew a portrait of a child like a professional. You were all skips, yells and smiles."

"Wait." Twilight gaped. "She gave me Pinkie Pie's personality?"

Cadance chuckled. "Yes, well... I figured life would have changed you, but certainly not to that extent. You also gave the castle a wide berth, and bristled at the mere mention of Celestia, despite your earlier claims.

"So I decided to perform a test. It was evening. I pulled you aside, away from prying eyes, and asked if you wished to go to the library. You declined, telling me that you'd never liked the place. My suspicions were confirmed then and there, and I called you out on it. That's when she overwhelmed me."

Twilight gasped in horror. "What... what did I do to you?"

"Well, I knew it wasn't you by that point. Chrysalis had fed off of so much of my love for you that I was hardly a match for her." She looked at the ground. "It's best left to your imagination. You witnessed what she did to Celestia, same as I."

Twilight took Cadance's advice to the letter. Chills rushed over her as she imagined striking down someone she cared so much for.

The Cadance in her mind then switched to Celestia.

She froze.

Her eyes flashed angrily as she fought the images out of her mind. "That... that tears it! No one uses my body like that! I'm going to make sure I find all of those stupid changelings, wherever they might be hiding-" Twilight noticed Cadance's uneasy fidgeting, and stopped. "Cadance? What is it? What's wrong?"

Cadance looked around. "Well, as you just said, we didn't defeat the changelings. They were merely blown back. I know it's a foolish thought, but..." She prostrated before the unicorn, shivering. "Twilight, I cannot ask for your forgiveness enough. You lent me your trust within seconds in the caves, but I have still been uneasy around you. And I feel infinitely terrible about it."

Twilight took a slow, deep breath in realization. "You said you were relieved. Because the whole time we were catching up, you were scared I might still have been-"

Cadance kept her gaze earthward. "I absolutely understand if your regard for me has diminished or disappeared entirely. Believe me, I know I deserve it."

Twilight shook her head, and raised Cadance's with her hoof. "No, you don't. Neither of us deserved any of this. Given everything you've told me, I'd say you were right to worry. There's nothing to forgive."

Cadance slowly rose to her hooves, her eyes shining. "Truly, Twilight?"

"Absolutely. But don't you see? If the two of us, with the bond we share, are still paranoid about who we are, it can only be worse for everypony else!" It was her turn to look over the cliffs. "I have enough fears in my life to conquer without adding another to the list. So this ends. If not for Canterlot at once, then at least for the two of us, here and now. And..."

She hesitated for a few tense seconds, weighing options in her mind. Finally, she turned around, planted her hooves, and looked straight into Cadance's eyes, her horn gaining luminance.

"...I know just how to prove to you, without any room for doubt, that I'm the real deal."

"How so?"

Twilight willed herself to ignore the slight cracking of her voice. "There's a single memory that the two of us share, right here."

Cadance paused, then stepped back. Her voice was solemn. "Twilight... you don't have to."

"I want to. Please."

Cadance hesitated again before moving in front of Twilight. "Since it's me, it won't just be our memories that are shared. Our hearts will be, too. Are you all right with that?"

Twilight nodded. "Are you?"

Cadance took a deep breath. "Yes. For you, I'm willing to take the risk."

Twilight smiled, betraying the growing sadness in her eyes. "I promise, your trust will be rewarded."

They closed their eyes. Their horns glowed in tandem.

And the weather changed in an instant.

---

Gravitational acceleration, multiplied by personal mass...

The cool night wind howled at high speed, whipping large water droplets towards the eyes of anyone foolish enough to be outdoors. Twilight Sparkle shut the storm out through sheer force of will--coupled with a shielding spell for good measure.

Divide by a magical resistance of matching force units...

She reminded herself that she was not about to be stopped. After all, she'd experimented in worse weather. Formulas were furiously scribbled by way of levitating pencil and book.

Matching force units to be derived from universal unicorn magical index multiplied by concentration level and personal motivation modifiers...

Her horn emitted a violet light, a lone beacon in the darkness. She looked out over the cliffs, and down, to a thick darkness.

...this is it, then. Based on my calculations, at any rate. And if it's not, well... karma in action, right?

Her stomach knotted. Her heart pounded.

For a moment, she hesitated. Then the images flashed in her mind again.

A house in ruins. Broken glass. Pieces of shattered porcelain everywhere. The overpowering smell of charred lumber.

A young filly, disheveled and bruised in several places, lying in front of Twilight. Gasping, barely hanging on to consciousness, struggling to speak.

A mother's cries as she scrambled to the scene. A crowd of unicorns following close behind. All of them taking in the scene, recoiling in initial shock--then realization.

They advanced on Twilight, surrounding her. Anger written on their faces, forgiveness in none of their eyes. No less than thirty voices calling for penance.

Apprehension was promptly replaced with numbness. Twilight looked into the abyss...

...and jumped.

---

"Celestia... why? Why leave her in that state?"

"Time will heal her."

"Were it anypony else, I could believe that. But we know how Twilight thinks. She's still so young. You would let her suffer like this?"

Princess Celestia retained a stoic gaze and stance through their conversation. Her voice, too, was perfectly level. This was actually a good sign. Celestia always overplayed her emotions, but even more so when she was trying not to show any. Other ponies might have been fooled, but Cadance could always tell.

"We've already gone over this, Cadance. You've told me several times that she wishes to be 'just like me.' This is the greatest lesson she can learn in that regard. Sometimes you make hard decisions. Sometimes they turn out to be mistakes. Sometimes those decisions fail you, and in turn, you fail those you wished to help."

"And that's exactly what she needs to hear from you. You've lived with such anguish for centuries! Right now she thinks she's the only pony in the world with the capacity to mess up. You're the perfect pony to prove otherwise!"

The words appeared to reach Celestia, who stood stock still for several moments. Suddenly, she shivered, and turned to one side.

"I'm not a perfect anything, Cadance."

The surprise of seeing Celestia's new disposition was more than enough to cool Cadance down. She stepped in front of the elder princess, and placed an emphatic hoof on her cheek.

"Nopony's asking you to be, 'Tia. She's run away. Her family's worried. You're her mentor. Her hero. Please, go see her. Bring her back."

The two winged unicorns locked eyes. A few seconds was all it took for Cadance to see the unending sorrow she herself had alluded to minutes earlier.

"No, Amore. As earnestly as she looks up to me? All I will do is remind her of her failure. My presence would crush her."

Celestia narrowed her eyes the tiniest bit. Cadance's widened in response.

"I understand."

Cadance left the throne room, galloped through the halls, and flew out of the castle faster than she thought she ever could. She flew above its highest tower, and surveyed the kingdom, with exactly one question on her mind.

Okay. I'm a grieving and unstable unicorn who's just almost done the unthinkable. Also, I have a conscience. Where would I be?

Hovering in the sky, she closed her eyes and concentrated. Waves of emotion approached her from every angle, from every pony in Canterlot. She sifted through them until she encountered a very faint, very familiar feeling.

From the north.

Where nopony would ever find me.

She concentrated harder in its direction, until her horn and heart received more familiar pangs. Pangs of a pain more intense than she remembered it ever being, in all her years of foalsitt-

Oh no.

Cadance took off at top speed. As she flew over the northern forests, the warm night's humidity gave way to rain. Winds followed soon after, growing harsher with time.

The rain fell faster and harder, soaking her body and making her wings heavier. The wind pushed against her whenever it could, skewing her course and distracting her with chills. Crashes of thunder rolled in from behind.

Cadance ignored it all. Using magic would only slow her down further, and that was the last thing she needed at the moment.

She hoped to heaven that her guess was correct.

---

Wind resistance? I can't believe I forgot about that!

She was still falling.

Canterlot Cliffs had a bottom, that much Twilight knew, but it was impossible to see in the present light.

I'll have to intensify my field to compensate--but not too much, or the impact'll still make it not matter! I don't have much time...

The numbness in her heart returned. Her eyes closed as the last of her resolve dissipated.

...no. It's better this way.

Just as her personal light illuminated a large rocky patch, she slowed to a stop in midair. Feeling the slight strain, she opened her eyes, mildly surprised that she still could.

Soon, Twilight was pulled back up to the cliff's edge, and she saw the face of her savior. Cadance stood there, staring at Twilight with a constant and unchanging expression of pity.

The numbness was gone, and it suddenly felt silly to have ever had it. In its place, however, was a crawling fear clutching at Twilight's chest that felt even worse.

"I guess you've heard what happened by now."

Cadance nodded.

"I know what this might look like. And maybe... maybe it sort of is. It's just... everypony keeps telling me I'm gifted. Special. Destined for great things, all that stuff." She sniffed. "And every day I prove them wrong. Every day, in spite of all my studying, I mess up yet another spell. Things explode. Ponies get hurt. They've got it all wrong! I'm not special. I'm a jinx."

Cadance's expression softened, but she stayed silent.

"Cadance, you're a princess. You've got tons of magical ability. Can you fix me? I'm tired of letting everypony down. I'm tired of them being afraid of me."

Cadance shook her head.

Twilight's face fell. Her legs felt like jelly as she tried, and failed, to walk. "You've got to! Or maybe Princess Celestia can? Please, everypony hates me, I have to change, I-"

Cadance interrupted Twilight with a voice steeped in sympathy.

"Only you can change yourself."

Twilight's heart sank completely. Her lips trembled, and her vision became a watery blur. Her legs lost the last of their ability to support her, forcing her to her knees. She shut her eyes as tight as she could, in a desperate attempt to prevent the dam from bursting completely.

It proved futile.

She felt Cadance's right wing envelop her body as she shivered and shook, only partly from the cold. A set of front legs followed suit--and with a single tug, Twilight was being cradled in her old foalsitter's lap.

Twilight only remembered ending up in Cadance's lap whenever she cried. She also remembered sometimes doing so on purpose just to get the chance.

The irony was not lost on her.

---

The storm was gone.

The stray tears lining Twilight's eyes lingered. Seeing this, Cadance mimicked her embrace from years past.

"I heard your thoughts. I had an inkling of what you had been going through on that day, but I had no idea just how bad things were. I'm not sure you should have gone quite so far for me, Twilight, but I thank you for it."

"You were right, too. I felt like the only pony to ever make a mistake. I'm glad to know those looking after me knew better. I sure didn't." Twilight sniffed, and hugged Cadance harder. "But don't feel bad. I brought it up to remind you who I am, and how much I love you. If I'd needed to, I would have gone even further."

"Shhhh," said Cadance as she felt Twilight shake against her frame. "Memories are the past. They can't hurt us, so long as we learn from them."

"That's just the thing. I'm not sure I have learned." Twilight pulled back, and rubbed her eyes. "We beat the changelings, but not without me letting so many of you down. My form was used to deceive you. And I saw you and Luna tending to Celestia last night. I feel so.... responsible for all of it. I know it's silly! I know there were things I could never have helped." She closed her eyes. "But I just don't like living with failure. Any failure. I never have."

Cadance traced the end of one hoof along Twilight's cheek, and wiped away a tear streak. "Nopony does. Celestia's no different. But she had to for a thousand years before you helped solve her biggest problem."

"Cadance..."

The pink mare leaned close. "There are things even she fears, Twilight. And she will do whatever she thinks is necessary to make sure those things never come to pass."

"Things such as?"

"I wish I knew. I can always feel when there are weights on Celestia's heart, but she completely refuses to be specific." She rolled her eyes. "And Luna's the eternal tease..."

Twilight wiped her eyes. "Well, whatever it is, I'd help her face it. She's done so much for me, as have you. I'm going to miss you so much once I go back to Ponyville."

Cadance laughed. "Oh, Twilight. You speak as if my job's over."

"What do you mean?"

"You're still young, Twilight, but you're getting older. As a filly, your friends were books, which you grew to love as a part of your life. As a young mare, your friends are now other ponies. Which I'm quite glad happened, because..." She paused before adding, "...you do remember my full name, yes? 'Mi Amore Cadenza?'"

"Well, yes, but... wait." Twilight's face flushed crimson. "You don't mean..."

A telltale twinkle appeared in Cadance's eyes. "Sooner or later somepony's going to trot into your life, and you won't be able to stop thinking about them even when you try. When that happens, come find me."

"I..." Cadance winked, and Twilight flushed hotly before relaxing in her grip once more. "...you are the best foalsitter I could ever have asked for."

"I was also your only foalsitter, Twilight."

"Nope, nuh uh, not quite true! There were a few times you fell sick and my parents had to find a replacement. Remember Corny Flake?"

"Corny Flake? Wait, you don't mean... I thought she just had a most unfortunate name! The heiress to the cereal empire who longed to become a comedian?"

"Are you kidding? She was so bad! I mean, she never got breakfast right! Always used too much milk. Never understood that..."

---

A dark mare watched the two from high above. Her horn glowed, and the moon rose high into the sky.

Princess Luna headed towards Canterlot Castle, mentally preparing herself for her nightly duties. What she had just learned refused to leave her mind.

She hadn't meant to listen in. She hadn't meant to see anything. But she had been unable to help herself the second Twilight and Cadance shared their memories. The same held true for last night as well.

If only Twilight and Celestia knew how alike they truly were.

And if the former's dreams as of late were any indication, Luna knew she would have to be on her guard.

Comments

[momomojito]

Poor Twi, seems like she is prone to depression and self-deprecating thoughts. I really can't wait to read more especially after that whole filly-hood bombshell thing. Did Cadance ever tell anyone about that night?!

[Gwenio]

Aww, so sweet.

Looks like Lulu is next then.

[Bookish Delight]

945215
You'll have to stay tuned to find out.

946320
Thanks! And yep, looks that way. ^_^

[FredMSloniker]

Hm. So Twilight wasn't planning to commit suicide. Just... open to the possibility. Which raises the question: what was she hoping to accomplish? Some sort of 88-MPH thing, or...? Well, I suppose we'll see. In time.

[source1]

Maybe she wanted to fly?

[MrSpartan]

Needs more revenge obsessed, undead human warriors. No wait, that's my story.

[Bookish Delight]

978451
Indeed, it is. It's impossible for me to write any of those things.

[ThatPoemGuy]

Loving It... It's so .... AWESOME!
(Sort of...)
[Watched]
Keep writing, Mate

We watch the lightning crack over cane fields
Laugh and Think
This is Australia

[ColdGoldLazarus]

This is amazing.

[McPoodle]

1090857

I'm thinking for Twilight it was more of an "equation of pain": she had accidentally caused pain to another pony, so to punish herself, she'd subject herself to at least as much pain herself.

...and that last sentence used "herself" so many times that it ceases to have any intelligible meaning anymore.

[Pokey the Unicorn]

A cold open in a story? That's new. *continues reading*

[Pokey the Unicorn]

Great so far! I look forward to more.

[Bookish Delight]

1213427
Thank you! More is indeed coming!

And yeah, cold opens are kind of one of my calling cards.

[CommanderX5]

Wait a moment, so Celestia just left Twilight in her unstable stage of mind, and if not for Cadence, Twilight would kill herself ?

The more I read this, the more I think that this story should be about Celestia thinking over all her screw ups, she almost killed Twilight in here, she did not trust her on the Wedding, she used against Nightmare Moon what tied with her and Shining Armor, she failed to protect her subjects from Changeling Queen.

[Nali]

"No? Well, more's the pity." Discord shrugged. "Still, I always believe in making the most of a good situation. I know this cute little volcano near Tartarus where the torture of innocents never ends-"

"Wonderful!" Nightmare Moon met his gaze with a sneer. "Let's go there. I can help you join them."

I love that Twilight's subconscious is conjuring up this dialogue in a dream sequence.

Her brand of mind control is also unethical, yet adorable.

Oh no, the librarians have a secret society what acts of rigorous organization and public service are they plotting

"Honestly, end up born with a horn and wings and it seems only one city in the world will give you a moment's peace."

Manehattan?

...

And then it earns that sad tag. Ow.