Equestrian Anthology

by Shingo

Matchmaker Pinkie

“Matchmaker, matchmaker, find me a find,” Pinkie sang as she hopped in her room. “Catch me a catch.”

“Pinkie dear, I don’t think now’s the time to…”

“Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book,” Pinkie continued singing as she reached a curtain covering one of her walls. “And make me a perfect match.” She tugged at the curtain causing it to fall to the ground. What was on the other side caused the white unicorn’s jaw to drop. Pictures of every citizen in Ponyville were up on the wall. In each one was a pin. On some of the pictures was a coloured string that was attached to the pin of another picture. Rarity walked towards the wall taking in all the details. A red string was attached to a picture of a mint green unicorn and a cream coloured earth pony. A blue string was attached to a picture of a large red earth pony and a purple unicorn. A green string was attached to a grey pegasus’ picture and a brown earth pony’s.

“When I asked if you wanted to play matchmaker with me,” Rarity said. “I didn’t expect to find this.” Curiosity got the better of Rarity and she looked for her own portrait. She found a red string attached to it leading to a picture of Applejack.

“Pinkie, what do these colours mean?” she asked.

“Green means that I can see a spark,” Pinkie replied while flipping through a book. “Blue means I’m actively working to get those ponies together, and red is for confirmed lovers.” Defying all logic, Rarity’s face became even whiter.

“What?!” she shrieked. “Applejack and I aren’t a couple!” Pinkie looked up at her friend with an unamused look.

“Our trips to the mountains are just to collect some gems,” she continued. “They’re not thinly veiled attempts to get away so we can be intimate.” Pinkie’s look did not change.

“We’re not making passionate love behind everypony’s back,” she explained, sweat falling from her forehead. “The idea alone is absurd! Ha ha… ha.” Pinkie’s look remained the same.

“Alright!” Rarity shouted. “I admit it! Applejack and I are an item! We’ve been going about it for a few months now. Are you happy now?!” She fell to the floor and cried in an over dramatic fashion.

“Silly Rarity,” said Pinkie in a cheerful tone. “I’m always happy. I just wanted to hear you say that. But we have more important things to worry about.” She pointed to pictures of her two pegasus friends, a blue string attached to both.

“Quite right,” sniffed Rarity, wiping away a tear. “Our friends seem to be in denial about their relationship. It’s so obvious that they’re together! Or about to be anyways. But when I asked Fluttershy about it at the spa last Thursday, her face turned crimson and frantically said it wasn’t true.” Pinkie nodded.

“I know!” she said. “Yesterday when I was in the park, I saw both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy walking together. Both of them were blushing. When I talked to Dashie about it while we were pranking, she just accused me of being random again! Can you believe it?”

“What a surprise,” Rarity deadpanned. “What can we do to make their relationship official?”

“Well,” said Pinkie flipping through her book. “There are two options I’ve come up with, but one is a bit extreme.”

“Do share.”

“I could drug one of them with a potion, causing one of them to…”

“You’ve been drugging ponies with love potions?! How could you?”

“Everypony always assumes that whenever I say the word ‘potion’. No, I don’t use love potions. Not exactly. I use epiphany potions. They give a pony an epiphany about their romantic desires, causing them to pursue it. It worked for Applejack seeing as you two are together, but I don’t think we should use it immediately.”

“That should be used as a last resort. There are other ways we can… wait what?!”

“But,” Pinkie shut the book. “I think the other option is better. At our picnic tomorrow, you and I will just drop hints. The hints will cause seeds to be planted into their minds, and then when they bloom they’ll get together. How does that sound?”

“Hmmm,” Rarity tapped her chin. “That could work. But we have to be subtle about it.”

“You’re talking to the most subtle pony in town,” said Pinkie with a triumphant tone. “You don’t have to worry about a thing.”

“Right,” Rarity said while rolling her eyes. She looked at the wall again. Her eyes fell on Pinkie’s portrait, two red strings were attached to it, one leading to a blue earth pony stallion, and another leading to a blue unicorn stallion. A red string was attached between both portraits as well.

“Pinkie, why exactly…”

“Polyamorous relationship.”

“I…see.”

*

Celestia’s sun was shining down on a meadow that six ponies occupied. Each one was sitting on a checkered blanket passing food from a basket. Butterflies flew past and bird songs could be heard all around them. A comfortable silence sat with them. The pink pony decided to change that.

“So, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy,” Pinkie said looking at her friends. “Why aren’t you two sleeping with each other yet?” Rarity spit out her tea, Applejack’s jaw made a quick trip to the blanket they were sitting on, Twilight choked on her food, and the wings of the pegasi that Pinkie was addressing instantly flared out.

“What?!” they both screamed. A blush was on Rainbow Dash’s face while the colour on Fluttershy’s face decided to change itself to red.

“It’s not a complicated question,” said Pinkie shrugging. “I ask again. Why aren’t you two sleeping together?”

“Because we’re not in a relationship that’s why!” shouted Rainbow.

“Oh come on,” said Pinkie slightly irritated. “It’s obvious that both of you want to be with each other.”

“Um, Pinkie?” the shy pegasus began. “We’re not exactly…”

“Even if you don’t want one, there’s so much sexual tension between you two! I can physically touch it, watch.” Pinkie pushed her hoof between her friends and touched a spot between Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. A sound akin to a hoof pounding on a metal door echoed across the meadow. Everypony except for Pinkie stared at the spot her hoof was. Silence once again returned, only its presence made things awkward.

“Rainbow,” Twilight said breaking the silence. “I know for a fact that you want to be with Fluttershy. You’ve checked out a few dating books. And when Fluttershy entered the library while you were doing so, you looked at her with a feeling of longing in your eyes.” Both Pinkie Pie and Rarity nodded.

“Shoot,” Applejack said. “And here I thought I was the only one who saw it.”

“You too Applejack?” said Rainbow in disbelief.

“I saw you in the market a few days back,” Applejack pointed to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, you were looking at the bouquets that were for sale. I saw you hide as Rainbow was passing by. Once she was gone, I saw you take one more look at the flowers, sigh, and then leave. I didn’t want to do anything. I thought it would be best to let nature take its course.” Rainbow Dash looked at the butter coloured pegasus, blush still on her face. With her face still red, Fluttershy looked at the blanket, tapping her hooves together.

“Fluttershy,” Rarity began. “It’s clear that both of you have feelings for each other, it would be best that you two admit it.” Rainbow looked at her friends. All of them had looks of concern on their face. Sighing, she looked to Fluttershy.

“Fluttershy, I…” her words didn’t leave her mouth as Fluttershy’s lips met her own. Rainbow’s eyes shot open in shock, then slowly lowered themselves until they were closed. Her wings wrapped themselves around her newly found lover. A chorus of ‘awwws’ could be heard coming from Twilight and Applejack. Rarity smiled at the scene as she sipped her tea.

“See?” said Pinkie to Rarity. “The master of subtlety at work.” Rarity closed her eyes. That sentence did not dignify a response, so she continued drinking her tea.

Comments

[spikethed]

Will Spike me and you are one of a kind. Execept i cant sing and my rarity is not with another girl. but other then that were the same. And thats why you're my favorite.