The Mission Begins Anew

by comicfan616

The Discord Interference

“WE’VE GOT A BREACH!”

“Whoa! What… Don’t startle me like that!”

“This is an emergency! Someone’s using the map from the outside!”

“…To what extent?”

“Currently, Princess Twilight and all her friends are on their way to the map because they think we called them.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious?”

“After the last two times someone tampered with our map, you really think I’d joke about it?”

“Let me see that.”

“…”

“Well, I have good news and bad news.”

“Give me the good. We already know the bad.”

“The good news is it isn’t actually the map.”

“…What?”

“There may be six markers floating above… somewhere. But it isn’t our magic that’s doing it. Whatever it is, it’s an outside influence one hundred percent, right down to the magic that made these markers.”

“Then why can we see it?”

“Whatever we do here affects the map on their plane of existence. It’s only natural that the reverse holds true.”

“…Okay. So, what’s the bad news then? I mean, I thought it would be something like, ‘Something’s tampering with the Magical Matrix.’ But if what you’re saying is true…”

“The bad news is, because it’s not our magic, we can’t do anything about it.”

“…That might actually be worse… Do we know what kind of magic it is?”

“Without much evidence, I can only assume it’s some form of a glamour spell. But I’m having a hard time figuring out where it’s coming from.”

“Maybe Chrysalis is back? This wouldn’t be the first time she’s tried to get back at everyone, especially recently.”

“Nah. She’d have to have knowledge of the map and how it works, and I don’t think she knows anything about that.”

“That… really narrows the field. A little too narrow. How many ponies, or whatever, really, both know about the map and would dare use it like this?”

“Hmm…”

“What about Discord?”

“I mean, I guess it’s an option, but…!”

“…”

“Please tell me that was you who said that.”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, actually.”

“…”

“Hellooo.”

“…”

“…Excuse me. I’m just going to go over here for a second. Maybe bang my head against the map until I wake up from what is clearly a bad dream.”

“…”

“Cheerful sort, huh?”

“In all fairness, we’ve had… issues with outside forces messing with our map before. This is just the most extreme it’s gotten.”

“I’d ask how you got here, but I know it’d be a lost cause.”

“So, Discord, you mind telling us what you think you’re doing?”

“Well, if you must know…”

“We must. Believe me, we must.”

“…I’m planning a little something for Twilight’s School of Friendship, and such a plan involves her and her little posse not being there for it.”

“…Wow. That answer was so vague, I can hardly believe you think I’d accept that. What exactly are you ‘planning?’”

“Oh, must you be so suspicious?”

“We must. Believe me, we must.”

“Repetition is not an attractive quality, I’ll have you know.”

“Just stop avoiding the question, Discord. Let me warn you right now; your tampering with the map, even if not in so direct a fashion, constitutes a crime of a higher order than most mortal creatures would dare to imagine. You may be the Spirit of Chaos, but that doesn’t protect you from forces more powerful than myself enacting what they would see as proper punishment. And let’s not forget that your history with Equestria is sketchier than a magic kindergarten art project. So, if you want to remain on our good side, you’ll tell us why you’re doing this now.”

“You truly are persistent, you know that?”

“…”

“Fine, fine. Truth be told, the fact that Twilight has yet to include me in this little school of hers just doesn’t sit right with me. After all, I am a friend, the friend of a friend at the very least. You’d think I could make for a substitute or a guest teacher. But no, instead it’s, ‘Discord? Why I’ve never heard of such a fellow. And even if I did, I see no reason for him to be here.’”

“…”

“Okay, three things. One: never put the princess’ face over your face again; that’s just creepy. Two: you’re exaggerating her thought process on the matter, and you know it. And three (and this is the important part): that is the textbook definition of petty!”

“Maybe it is. But can you honestly say it’s right for a ‘friendship school’ to not include all your friends, especially if it would add some variety and diversity to the mix?”

“…I mean, you’re not wrong…”

“Not right, either.”

“Well, it’s not like we could do much at this point anyway. And I guess it’s an explanation, at least one that won’t lead to heavy repercussions for you. Provided, of course, that Princess Twilight and the rest will be safe.”

“…Well, I can’t promise they won’t get roughed up a little…”

“This is not filling me with confidence.”

“…but I can promise that they will all arrive back to Ponyville alive and well.”

“And we have your word on this?”

“Scout’s honor.”

“You were never a scout.”

“I believe this says otherwise.”

“…What’s this, a picture?”

“We had it painted just before the end of the summer. A good 500 years before Luna and Kay-Kay came along.”

“Never knew you had younger years. Hm. Pony Scouts, Troupe #83.”

“Wait, 83? Let me look at that.”

“You really expect us to believe this?”

“My, my, aren’t we doubtful of everything today? Very well, then consider this: Fluttershy is also going to be there; do you honestly think I’d let her come to harm for my own pettiness?”

“…I guess I can’t argue with that, but…

“…”

“Um, why are you looking at him like that?”

“Yes, I must admit, it’s making me very uncomfortable.”

“…”

“…Where is the stash hidden?”

“…Where the full moon howls at midnight.”

“…Okay, he’s clean.”

“What?!”

“Why thank you. It’s so nice to see that someone knows my word is worth something. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a school to attend. Ta.”

“…”

“What just happened?!”

“Let’s just say that only a true member of Troupe 83 would know that answer.”

“Wait, you were in the Pony Scouts?”

“Part of my mortal immersion training. Weren’t you?”

“…I just took art classes.”

“…”

“So, what was that about a stash?”

“Sorry, troupe secret.”

“…Discord, I hate you.”

Author's Note:

As you can probably tell, I had a lot of fun writing this.
I mean, come on, Discord does something with the map, and I'm supposed to just leave it? What do you take me for, a stick-in-the-mud?

Also, apologies to any Scout Troupe identified as 83; I was never a scout in any capacity myself, and this was merely written as yet another joke for this chaotic occurrence.

Edit (9-2-19): I added the purple text for Discord's Twilight impression, which is something I forgot to do in the original upload.

Comments

[Comickook]

REALLY good job on this chapter. Yeah, really good explanation for how Discord was able to mess with the map. Discord's argument with the map's spirits was surprisingly entertaining stuff (certainly more so than the actual episode).