With Flurry Heart now the Queen of a band of changelings that defected from Queen Chrysalis, things have gotten interesting in the Crystal Empire as of late.
"Are you absolutely sure you are ok? I don't need you to be coming down with something like the chloroflu, I would be upset if you didn't seek a medical opinion if that is the case...or if you did and hid it from me. I am sorry if I am being overbearing, but I am just concerned since you are my wife."
I like this bit specifically because of the chloroflu. Little details like that-a unique disease-makes you setting seem more alive.
"Worse than I ever was Flurry...even worse than Sombra, meaner than Discord at his peak, more cutthroat than Tirek himself. You will become what you hate to be, a loveless pit of nothing but anger and swearing vengeance on everything good because you felt wronged. I am speaking from experience dear because that is what happened to me. Before my villainous days, I was like I am now, a kind and sweet mare. Me and my mother were close, you never saw one without the other and she always set time apart from her busy day to spend with me. I loved her deeply, and she loved me back..."
More cutthroat than Tirek is...debatable. He was a sociopath who only saw other living beings at best as a resource and whose only positive relationship, his brother, is long gone and withered. But Chrysalis isn't fully in Tirek's mindset and it's not an unreasonable thing.
"N-no..." Flurry's muscles locked up as the mental dam started crumbling and the pain of her feelings started to swell. Her horn started sparking, her body shaking as wave after wave of pent up emotion started to course through her entire being. Chrysalis' jaw dropped when the magic coming from Flurry's horn started having specks of green in it.
"I must be seeing things...there is no way-" Chrysalis' train of thought detailed and its engine flew into the next county as, with a scream, Flurry's whole body started to glow. Her muscles rippled and grew stronger as she gained about 6 inches in height, her coat remaining but thinned slightly. Through true pain a single thought fought its way to the forfront of her brain, she had to be with her family.
[Insert evolving pokemon music here.]
Anyway, glad to have caught up with this. I think the pacing is a bit off and more focus on internal thoughts and feelings would be nice, but I still like the story. Nice, Sand.
Chrysalis shivered as a feeling came over her. "If you keep going down the path you are, I see you becoming an evil tyrant..."
He quickly teleported to Twilight's throne room and bowed, accidentally dipping his horn in the cheese dip canister on the floor due to the play day the Mane 6 were having. His horn, still hot from the teleport spell, caused the dip to heat and bubble turning it into fondu.
Twilight had already made an official statement concerning cheese:
Good chapter, but maybe a bit rushed at the ending.
I really want to see where this is going
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So do I
I like this bit specifically because of the chloroflu. Little details like that-a unique disease-makes you setting seem more alive.
More cutthroat than Tirek is...debatable. He was a sociopath who only saw other living beings at best as a resource and whose only positive relationship, his brother, is long gone and withered. But Chrysalis isn't fully in Tirek's mindset and it's not an unreasonable thing.
[Insert evolving pokemon music here.]
Anyway, glad to have caught up with this. I think the pacing is a bit off and more focus on internal thoughts and feelings would be nice, but I still like the story. Nice, Sand.
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Looks down at pile of shiny beads he got in exchange.
Well, that went well.
... Now i imagine Dive running around and flailing as Twilight has latched onto his fondue'd horn and is cleaning it.
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Twilight had already made an official statement concerning cheese:
Good chapter, but maybe a bit rushed at the ending.
9622375
Correct, description of it in the next chapter (visual is the cover art for the sequel)