Affection Therapy

by Blazewing

Princess Luna (Part 1)

The clock is now showing 5. Your first day as a spa-appointed affection therapist has come to an end at last. Has it really only been one afternoon? It feels like days at least, from the myriad of emotions and experiences that happened in that office. And you’ll be doing the same tomorrow, too. It’s surreal to think about.

Still feeling dazed, you tidy up your office, though nothing is particularly out of order, gather up the remaining cookies and cupcakes, then take your leave out into the main hallway. Setting the treats down on a bench for just a moment, you take a stop in the restroom.

After washing your hands, you splash some water in your face and look at yourself. Your eyes look a little red and puffy from crying earlier, though you can imagine you looked worse than you do now. There’s not much to do about it now, so you dry your hands and face, then head back out into the hallway, taking the treats with you.

In the lobby, you come across Aloe and Lotus, who smile at the sight of you.

“Hello again,” says Aloe.

“We witnessed several satisfied ponies coming from their appointments with you,” said Lotus.

“It seems like you have had a very successful day today,” says Aloe.

“Well done,” the two say in unison.

You can’t help but smile at their praise.

“I’m just happy to lend my talents where they’re needed,” you say.

Their smiles fade a little as they look at you.

“Is everything all right?” Lotus asks, in mild concern.

“Have you been crying?” asks Aloe, delicately.

Of course they would notice. It would’ve been hard not to.

“I suppose I have,” you say, ruefully. “I know I must look like a poor sight, but I was rather affected by what some of my clients had to say.”

It was true, after all. Thankfully, this answer seems to satisfy them, as they say no more on the subject.

“Therapy is a private matter,” says Aloe, “so we shall not pry. We can only hope that it brings more smiles than it does tears.”

“Oh, it does, rest assured,” you say.

“Well then, we will see you again tomorrow at noon,” says Lotus.

“Thank you, Aloe, Lotus,” you say. “Before I go, would either of you care for a cookie or cupcake?”

You offer the treats you’re holding, and the two ponies look delighted.

“Oh, thank you!”

“Do not mind if I do!”

Aloe takes a cookie, and Lotus takes a cupcake, and with a ‘good night’ between the three of you, you walk out of the spa. As you step outside, you very nearly walk into somepony. Looking down, you see none other than Rose, smiling up at you.

“Rosie!” you cry, in delighted surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I had to come see you after your first day at the spa,” she said, “to congratulate you and see how it went. I would’ve signed up for a session myself, but you’ve already given me so much that I couldn’t bear to take the chance away from somepony else.”

“You always were compassionate that way,” you say, kindly, making her blush. “Today went really well, I think,” you add, as you start walking alongside her. “I can’t really go into details, though. Client confidentiality and all that.”

“Oh, sure, I understand,” says Rose, nodding. “I can’t help but wonder who you might’ve seen on your first day, though. I saw some interesting sights out in the market today, while I was running the flower stall with the girls.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. For example, Lyra’s been kind of moody lately, so I wasn’t surprised to see her going towards the spa. When she came back, she looked a bit more cheerful, and stopped to talk with me. I guess Bon Bon had the same idea, since she went to the spa today as well, about an hour after I saw Lyra head that way, and she looked down as well.”

“Is that so?”

“Uh-huh. Lyra sat by the fountain for a while, and then Bon Bon showed up and sat by her. I didn’t catch everything they were saying, but it sounded like they were apologizing to each other for something. Then they both just started crying and hugging each other, and after, they just sat side by side, nestled up against each other, looking happier than I’d seen them in days.”

She looks at you knowingly.

“You had something to do with it, I’m sure.”

“Can’t say,” you say, shrugging, though you find it hard to suppress a smirk.

“I get you,” said Rose, nodding. “But that wasn’t even the strangest sight. I saw Spoiled Rich walk by about an hour after that. She didn’t seem herself today.”

“Oh no?”

“No. She usually walks about with her head held high, looking all smug and high-and-mighty, but today, she looked kind of...distracted, like she had a lot on her mind. I still said hello to her as she passed, and I think it startled her. She mumbled something back, and then just kept walking. It was weird.”

“That does sound unlike her,” you say.

“I know, right? And then Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon showed up together. School must’ve let out by then. Diamond Tiara greeted her mom, and Spoiled Rich just paused, looking down at her with that same distracted look. Then, in front of everypony, she pulled her daughter into a hug.”

“Is that right?” you ask.

“Filly Guides’ honor,” says Rose, seriously. “Diamond Tiara seemed pretty startled, and Silver Spoon looked like she didn’t know what was going on, but eventually, Diamond hugged her in return, and looked a little happier too. Then the three walked off together, and it sounded like they were having a pleasant talk.”

“That sounds pretty wild, coming from Spoiled Rich, of all ponies,” you say.

“I know! It certainly made for good conversation with Daisy and Lily.”

“I’ll bet.”

You don’t say it out loud, but you can’t help but marvel at the information Rose has just related to you. Did your sessions with Lyra, Bon Bon, and Spoiled Rich really produce such quick results in only a few hours? You hadn’t had much doubt that the first two would be able to patch things up, as they were both very much willing to after their time with you, but you hadn’t expected Spoiled Rich to try acting better so soon.

“Everything ok?”

You give a start. You didn’t realize how long you had gone without saying anything, but it must’ve been enough for Rose to notice. You look down at her, and see that she is regarding you with mild concern.

“Of course,” you say, almost automatically.

Rose looks unconvinced.

“Are you sure? Your eyes look a little red. Have you been crying?”

Of course she would notice. Rose has eyes that can spot a single aphid crawling along the stem of a flower.

“I suppose I have,” you say. “Things got a little emotional in those sessions.”

“Oh, I see,” says Rose, nodding in understanding. “I guess ponies who need affection therapy might have some things to get off their chests. Then again, I’m one to talk.”

She averts her gaze, a faint blush redding her pale cheeks. You feel sure you know what she’s talking about.

“It’s ok, Rosie,” you say. “I really don’t mind. It’s always been a comfort that ponies feel comfortable confiding their troubles in me, even when I’m little better than a stranger to some.”

Rose looks up at you again, and she smiles.

“That’s because you’re such a sweet guy, and it’s easy to talk to you,” she says, nuzzling up to your side.

“Shucks,” you say, bashfully, giving her a pat on the head. “I don’t think I can ever get used to compliments like that, but I appreciate it all the same.”

Rose giggles.

“Wanna go grab some dinner?” she asks. “Celebrate your first day as a spa affection therapist?”

“That sounds like a great idea,” you say. “And afterwards, I still have some therapy session treats for dessert.”

“Oooh, lovely,” says Rose. “You really spoil everypony when you make sweets to give them, but in a good way, just like affection therapy itself.”

Smiling, you pat her head, and the two of you walk on, side by side.

***

That night, you lie awake in bed, trying to will yourself to fall asleep, but to no avail. All of the events of today are still whirling about in your mind, making it difficult to settle your thoughts. It’s not simply the thrill of having completed your first day at the spa, or the joy of helping Lyra and Bon Bon patch up their friendship, or even the surprise of managing to unearth a hidden good side in Spoiled Rich. What’s more prominent in your mind is what happened with Mrs. Cake and Princess Cadance.

You do not possess a heart of stone, of course. As you yourself told Rose just this evening, you have often been moved by the plights and worries of others, especially when they feel they can trust you enough to confide them to you. You have often felt on the verge of tears at these times, though you always strove to maintain as much professionalism as you can, while giving ponies a shoulder to cry on and an arm to comfort them.

But today, you allowed yourself to be led into the opposite end of this therapist/client relationship. You became the one in need of comfort and reassurance, from memories you had long thought behind you. It was Mrs. Cake and Cadance who had reminded you of them, through no fault of their own.

Because they’re mothers.

Because they remind you of her.

You cover your eyes with your hands, letting out a deep sigh. How long are you going to allow these feelings to eat away at you? How long do you intend to go before you confide how you feel in someone you trust? You haven’t even told Rose, and she’s been your first, best, and dearest friend. How long are you going to keep her, of all ponies, in the dark, when she should have been the first pony who comes to mind?

And how long is that voice, his voice, going to torment you, to fill you with doubt, to remind you of what you left behind?...

At long last, you find yourself drifting off into sleep.

***

At first, you’re unsure where you are. Everything seems foggy, with no distinct shapes. Then, your surroundings start coming into focus, and you know exactly where you are.

You’re standing in the sitting room of your old house. Even after so many years away, you remember every detail of it, from the shelves full of knick knacks on the walls to the cuckoo clock above the fireplace. As you look about, taking it all in, you give a start.

Sitting in the old, worn armchair before the fireplace...is your mother.

She’s just as you remember her: a thin woman with long brown hair, a bright twinkle in her brown eyes. At first, you think she’s reading a book in her lap. However, as you step closer, you see that she’s talking to someone: a little boy, no older than 10, kneeling before her.

...It’s you.

“I’m gonna be the best human Equestria’s ever seen, Mom! When I come back, I’ll even have my own cutie mark! Just you wait and see!”

His mom chuckles.

“That would be wonderful.”

“I just hope the pony they send to live here is nice.”

“I’m sure he will be. From what it sounds like, he’s very eager to come here.”

“I wish I could get to know him before we had to swap. It’d be like having a brother.”

“Well, if all goes well, we can keep in contact with him after.”

“That’d be great! And maybe, maybe while I’m in Equestria, I can learn magic like the unicorns, and then you wouldn’t need to...to see the doctor all the time…”

The enthusiasm in his voice fades, and he becomes very quiet. His mother smiles gently and runs her fingers through his hair.

“It’s ok, dear. It’s sweet of you to think of me that way, but I’ll be all right. You just focus on your time there, all right?”

The boy’s silent for a moment. Then, he looks up into his mother’s eyes and nods.

“I will, Mom.”

“That’s my boy. It’s just going to feel very different without you around.”

“I’ll come back, Mom, I promise! I’ll tell you all about Equestria, and then we can all live there together!”

“That sounds lovely, dear. I’d like that very much.”

The scene fades.

The boy now stands in a different, but still familiar, living room, less tidy and comforting than his old one. Two grown ponies stand before him, their faces obscured in shadow.

“You want to learn magic?”

You know that male voice only too well. How could you possibly forget, when it’s been ringing in your head for so long?

“Uh-huh,” the boy says. “When I go back home, I wanna be able to make my mom feel better again. I know I’m not a unicorn, but I still wanna learn. You can do magic without needing a horn, right?”

The voice laughs derisively, and the boy’s face falls.

“Boy, did we get saddled with a real winner here,” the voice says, scornfully. “A human who wants to learn magic? We exchanged our boy for this?”

“Don’t be so rude, dear,” admonishes a kinder, female voice. “He only wants to help his mother. I think it’s sweet that he wants to learn. And he is here to learn about Equestria, after all.”

One of the figures stoops down and strokes his hair kindly.

“We’ve certainly never heard of a human learning to do magic, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. We’ll see what we can do while you’re with us, honey.”

The boy’s face lights up again.

“Really? Thank you!”

“Hmph,” grunts the male voice. “If he wants to set himself up for disappointment, fine by me.”

The scene fades again. Now the boy is seated at a writing desk, with books stacked untidily around him, each bearing elaborate and even faded titles, all having to do with magic. He’s writing a letter, and he looks serious, not to mention worried.

The scene shifts once more, and now you see the boy kneeling in front of a bed, his head buried in his arms.

He’s crying.

An opened letter lies forgotten beside him. The words are blotched, the paper damp with fallen tears. You can’t see the letter, but the words are imprinted in your mind, and you remember them vividly.

Words of apology and sympathy.

...Words about your mother.

Behind the boy stands the same two figures as before. One of them kneels beside him and rests their hoof on his shoulder. The other remains standing where they are.

“Let it all out, dear,” the female voice says. “It’s all right. We’re here for you.”

“He’d better let it all out,” said the male voice, coldly. “I don’t want anything lingering after.”

“Dear!” says the female voice, reproachfully. “Can’t you see he’s grieving? Would it kill you to show even the slightest bit of compassion?”

“He’s got to accept that what’s done is done,” said the male voice. “No one wants to see it happen, of course, but what’s the point of crying about it? If he really wants to do well by his mom, would she want him to sit there sobbing and moping for the rest of his life?”

“Of course not, but you could do something for him now. He needs reassurance. He needs comfort.”

“What he needs is to learn that this is the way of things. He needs to let it go and move on with his life, just like the rest of us. We never should’ve let him fill his head with fanciful ideas about learning magic. No one’s ever heard of a human doing magic, because it never will be done. And he thought he was gonna make his mom feel all better by learning. What a fairy tale ending that would’ve been.”

“That’s enough! If you’re just going to stand there and make him feel worse, leave the room!”

“Fine, fine. I’ll leave him to you. We’re gonna have to make arrangements now that he can’t go back…”

The scene fades once more, and you find yourself once again in an empty, shapeless void. You can feel your breathing catch in your throat, and your cheeks feel wet.

You’re alone.

...No.

You’re not alone.

There’s something else there.

From out of the shadows, the figure of the faceless male pony comes into focus. Except, he’s larger, much larger than before, a giant, towering over you. Though you crane your face to look up at it, you still can’t make anything out on his face. And yet, you can feel a cold, pitiless stare aimed down at you.

“So naive, even now…”

“You know it was never going to work. Humans never could do real magic, and they never will. Did you think you could just wave your hands, say some nonsense, and your mom would be all better? Save those kinds of wishes for the stars, kid.”

You shut your eyes and cover your ears, trying to block the spiteful words sending their poison into your brain, but it’s as loud and present as ever.

“She’s gone, and she’s never coming back. That’s just how it is. Move on. There was nothing you could’ve done for her anyway. In this world, it’s everypony for themselves. Not just in the big city, but anywhere. You never know when life’s gonna take a wrong turn for you, so it’s best to look out for no one but yourself. Let other ponies deal with their own problems. Besides, it’s not like your precious ‘affection therapy’ would’ve kept her around or brought her back if you knew it then. But now you can just wile away, giving ponies scratches and rubs to make them feel better. That’s the only magic you’ll ever be able to do, and it still won’t fix a thing…”

You fall on your knees, eyes still shut tight, hands still pressed over your ears. You feel as if the walls of a box are closing in around you.

Why won’t it go away? Why won’t it stop? Why won’t he leave you alone?

You’re not in Manehattan anymore! You’re in Ponyville! Ponyville is not Manehattan! Ponies in Ponyville aren’t ponies in Manehattan!

“Try and block me out all you want, kid. Face it, you’re who you are because of me. You left Manehattan because of me. You took up this silly practice in some feeble attempt to spite me, to prove me wrong. You know it, but you won’t admit it. But I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, forever!”

That ‘forever’ booms out like the explosion of a cannon, shaking you to your very core. You cry out, though whether out loud or in your head, you’re not sure.

“NO!!”

And in that instant, everything changes.

The air feels...calmer, lighter. It’s as if the box that had previously been trying to crush you has suddenly expanded.

The voice has also been silenced.

You open your eyes and look up. The towering figure has disappeared.

Your surroundings have also changed. Instead of an indistinct void, you now sit in the midst of a sea of stars against a deep, velvety sky. The sight is...soothing, relaxing.

A bright flash of light temporarily blinds you, as though one of the stars had expanded. As it clears, you can see a new figure approaching you, one much smaller than the terrible being that had loomed over you.

In the next instant, you recognize who it is, even before she speaks, in a tranquil and refined voice, one full of both nobility and gentleness.

“Greetings, human of Equestria. Long have I hoped to meet you.”

You find your voice at last.

“P-Princess Luna!”

And so it is.

Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria, and the princess who governs the night.

You’ve glimpsed Luna before, fleetingly, within some of your dreams, but should you have had the subconscious presence to take a second look, she would already have been gone. You do know that it’s her duty to visit the realm of dreams, watching over ponies as they sleep, and protecting them from nightmares. It certainly sounds like a difficult job, since anything is possible in dreams.

Luna’s a tall alicorn, bigger than Princess Cadance. Her coat is dark blue, as are her eyes. She has an inky splotch of black on her flanks, decorated with a white crescent moon for a cutie mark. Her mane and tail are both a lighter shade of blue from her coat, but they’re speckled with star-like dots, and translucent at the edges, making them look like nebulae in outer space. She has a calm and benevolent face, full of wisdom and care.

You can hardly believe your fortune. You met Princess Cadance earlier, and now you’re face to face with Princess Luna. You struggle to your feet, your legs shaking quite a bit, and you bow rather clumsily.

“I-It’s an honor to meet you at last, Your Highness.”

“Likewise. I had hoped, sooner or later, that I should get the chance to speak with you, even if it is within the confines of a dream.”

“I’m glad this is only a dream,” you say, grimly.

The memory of the faceless monster is still vivid, to the point where you can’t help looking about, wondering if it’s still lingering somewhere. Luna observes this and smiles faintly.

“Be at ease. We are alone.”

“Good,” you say with a sigh. “It’s a comfort being in your noble presence, princess.”

“Thank you,” says Luna, kindly, before her smile fades into a sober expression. “I have seen that you are in need of comfort and counsel yourself. You are troubled, dear human. Troubled by demons of your past.”

You give no answer to this. It’s only natural Luna would have noticed. It’s her duty to patrol dreams, after all. She would’ve seen everything. Even so, you can’t be the only creature in Equestria having bad dreams. What’s made her choose now of all times to visit you?

...And then it hits you.

“Forgive me for asking, Your Highness,” you say, “but did Princess Cadance speak to you about...about me?”

Luna nods.

“She did. She told me of the wonderful care she was given under your healing hands. She also confided in me about the worries that you were beset with. She believed that I could offer words of guidance, as we are kindred spirits.”

You stare at her, dumbfounded.

“Us?” you say at last. “What do you mean? I’m just a simple human, Your Highness, and you’re...well, you’re the Princess of the Night.”

Luna giggles softly.

“You are exceedingly humble and polite,” she says, “but I can assure you, we have quite a bit in common. We both seek to ease the anxieties of ponies, for example. You do so through affection therapy, and I do through my patrolling of the Dream Realm.”

Huh. You’d never thought about that before, but when she puts it that way, it makes a certain degree of sense.

“And,” Luna continues, in a more somber tone, “we also have difficulty quieting the voices of the past in our heads.”

Your mouth falls open, and you stare at her in silence. There is a look of wistful pain in her beautiful eyes.

“Do you recall the tale of Nightmare Moon?” she asks.

Nightmare Moon? Well, of course. Ponies growing up are all told the tale of Nightmare Moon, or the Mare in the Moon. Even when you were a child, learning about Equestria, you read that old tale, and even learned the shocking truth that Princess Luna herself had been Nightmare Moon, many years ago. It was proof that not all fairy tales are just, well, fairy tales. Why was the princess bringing this up, though?

Without giving voice to any of this, you nod, and Luna continues.

“For the longest time, I’ve been plagued by the memory of what I had done. I was driven by anger, hurt, and selfishness, believing that I was not as beloved as my sister. Ponies basked in the light of day, and hid themselves away when the sun set and the moon rose. I believed myself less important, less loved because of that, and I let those thoughts fester, until they became a voice in my head, a voice that both did and did not belong to me. It consumed me, turning me into Nightmare Moon.”

Slowly, comprehension dawns on you, and you begin to understand why she’s talking about this.

“Even after I returned to myself, and after I was forgiven for what I had done, I still felt the pain and regret of my actions. There was still a voice in my head, but it had changed. It no longer tried to tell me what I deserved, but admonished me for my misdeeds, never letting me forget what I had become.”

She looks away, that same pained look still in her eyes. You instinctively reach out a hand to comfort her, then stop yourself. She’s a princess, after all. You can’t just lay a hand on her without her consent. She seems to recognize what you were about to do, however, as she gives you a slight smile.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m alright. I have Celestia by my side, as well as Twilight Sparkle and her friends. Without them, I would never have been freed of the curse of Nightmare Moon. I would never have begun the process of reintroducing myself into pony society after so long, and the process of forgiving myself. I owe so much to them.”

“They are remarkable,” you agree.

Luna looks you full in the face.

“You, too, face difficulties that stem from your past, if your dreams and what Cadance told me are any indication. I am no therapist myself, but if you need somepony to confide in, I will lend an ear, and hopefully offer some guidance.”

You hesitate for a moment or two. Luna divulging her inner thoughts of before she became Nightmare Moon, and after she was freed from the hold of Nightmare Moon, was staggering in its own right. Compared to that, your problems seem microscopic. And yet, she says she sees kinship in you, so perhaps she doesn’t believe they’re that small after all. More than that, this is a princess offering her help. That’s not something to decline so easily.

At last, you take a deep breath, then say,

“...You saw it all, Your Highness. You know what happened to me.”

Luna nods, but looks steadily at you, inviting you to speak on. After a pause, you continue.

“...My mother was always delicate. She was seeing a doctor every other week, practically. She never told me what was wrong with her, and maybe I was too young to understand. All I knew was that she got tired easily, and she couldn’t walk very far for too long. She told me she was fine, but I couldn’t help worrying about her.

“Then, when I was invited to take part in an exchange program with an Equestrian, I was excited. I’d always wanted to visit Equestria and see what it was like. A whole kingdom full of magical talking ponies. It sounded like a dream come true. I even thought...I even thought I could earn a cutie mark like other foals, if I stayed there long enough.”

Luna lets out a half-suppressed giggle. You can’t blame her. It was a childish thought, after all.

“But most importantly,” you say, a catch in your voice, “I wanted to learn magic, because I thought...I thought if I could, then I could...I could make my mom feel better…”

Luna’s expression turns sympathetic, but she says nothing. After another pause, you continue.

“My foster family was...less than encouraging. Well, I mean, my foster mom was nice. She cared about me. My...my foster dad, though...He and I…”

You stop, your throat feeling constricted. Your fists clench. A flickering image of the same faceless figure flashes across your mind. At last, you manage to say,

“We...never saw eye to eye. He...didn’t think much of humans.”

Luna nods quietly.

“He never had a kind word to say to me about anything. He didn’t like that I wanted to learn magic. He didn’t care when Mom started writing less and less. He...he wasn’t sympathetic when...when I got the news...about Mom…That she...she was...gone…”

You can feel your eyes starting to burn with tears, and your throat tightens again. Luna crosses over and lays a wing comfortingly across your shoulders. Unconsciously, you find yourself leaning against her, just as many ponies have during therapy. Never would you have expected to be in the same position, and under such circumstances.

Still, talking about all of this feels like poison being drained from a wound. In a way, it’s oddly reinvigorating. Besides, you’ve come this far. No sense in stopping now, as long as you can find words, even if they’re coming out with a good deal of effort.

“He...he tried to teach me that it’s every...everypony for themselves, that I needed to...to let it go and...and move on. I just couldn’t bear it. I’m sure he was trying to help me in...in his own way...but he didn’t even pretend...to know what I was going through. He just...didn’t care. He never cared...

“I...I couldn’t...I couldn’t stand to be around him...Not after what happened...But I didn’t have a choice. I had nowhere else to go. My foster brother came back, and...and he helped me get by, along with...with my foster mom...But he was still there...He made me feel...useless...inadequate...Like I wouldn’t amount to...to anything...

When I got older, I...I finally found a new place, away from him...But it didn’t do any good...Manehattan was...was the wrong fit for me...I didn’t belong…Nopony else wanted anything...anything to do with me...I couldn’t find anything that...that suited me...I should’ve left sooner, but...but I didn’t...Not for a long time...I didn’t think there was anywhere else I could go...Until I came to Ponyville, and everything changed for me…”

Luna’s soothing embrace becomes a bit more pronounced. It gives you the boost you need to continue. You’re almost done.

“I’ve been so happy here...Ponyville felt as much like home as it did back where I came from...I often wondered why I couldn’t have been transferred here instead...It’s here where I met so many wonderful ponies: Roseluck, Princess Twilight and her friends...And I finally found what I’m meant to do thanks to them. I might not get a cutie mark for it, but it’s still something. I owe so much to all of them, especially Rose...

“But even then...when I’ve finally found somewhere I can be happy...I can’t get his voice out of my head...Every time I start to doubt myself, or even when I feel sure about something...he starts speaking in my head, making me question what I’m doing...making me wonder if I don’t have some other motive for...for doing what I’m doing...I’ve worked so hard to try and get away from his influence, but I just...I just can’t make him go away…I just want it to stop...I want to keep making ponies happy, but I don’t want to be haunted by what I left behind…”

You’re unable to go on. You simply sit there, eyes wet and stinging, throat tight, resting against Luna as she sits beside you, her wing still draped over you, clasping you to her side. Both of you sit in silence at first. Then, at last, Luna speaks, in a soothing, tender voice.

“You bear such a heavy burden. You put on a brave face for other ponies who come to you for comfort, not wishing to burden them with your own difficulties. Many go to seek counsel, but few wonder if the counselor himself is in need of it.”

You feel her hoof under your chin, and she tilts your head up so that you can look her in the eye.

“It can be hard to let go of the past, especially when it has a lasting impact on who you’ve become. I know only too well. However, I also know that if you do not confront these feelings in time, they can develop a hold on you that you will not be able to break free from, and by then, it will be too late...”

A chill runs through you at her words. In your mind, you have a fleeting image of yourself, but very unlike yourself: dark, brooding, adorned in armor that gleams coldly and sinisterly, while a cruel light gleams in your eye. You don’t know how Nightmare Moon would’ve looked as a human, let alone a male human, but that seems a haunting approximation to you. You shudder.

“What do I do?...” you ask, in a croaking voice.

Luna draws herself up, while tightening her wing’s grip around you.

“The first thing I would suggest you do,” she says, “is confide these feelings to those closest to you. Am I right in guessing you haven’t told them?”

You feel a sinking feeling of guilt in your stomach.

“...No, I haven’t,” you say. “I didn’t want Rose or Twilight or anypony to worry about me. I didn’t want them to think I was being dramatic, or that I couldn’t take care of myself. Not when it’s my job to comfort ponies and make them feel better.”

“Not an unfounded worry,” says Luna, “but you shouldn’t think that way. Your friends would want to help you, no matter what you’re going through. Do not shut them out from what’s troubling you, or you’ll find yourself facing them alone. I shut everypony out when I became Nightmare Moon, when I should have kept my heart open. You yourself possess a kind and compassionate heart for all ponies. Do not let it become barred against them in your own time of need.”

Another pang of guilt goes through you. Rose had always been honest with you. You remember vividly when she divulged her worries to you about the change in your lifestyle. Shouldn’t you do the same for her? Shouldn’t you repay her trust by confiding in her?

“...You’re right, Princess,” you say finally. “I’ll tell them.”

Luna nods, satisfied.

“What I would also suggest,” she says, “though it may prove more difficult, is confronting the source of your anxieties personally and coming to a resolution. Of course, in this case, that would mean…”

“...Meeting my foster father again,” you finish for her, in a hollow voice.

“Yes.”

You hesitate.

“...I don’t know if I can do that…” you mumble. “Not after...not after everything.”

“It will not be easy,” says Luna, “and you don’t have to do it immediately, but it should be done. Allowing him to continue to be a voice of discouragement in your thoughts will only make matters worse for you. You’re not the child you were when he took you in. You are an adult now. Speak to him, man to stallion. Let him know how you’ve been feeling. Speak truthfully on how his actions affected you.”

You shake your head grimly.

“He won’t listen. He won’t care. He never did.”

“You don’t know that for certain,” says Luna. “Time has a way of changing things. He may have changed in the intervening time, or he may have not. You won’t know until you have made the effort. You at the very least still have your foster mother and foster brother to vouch for you.”

That’s true. You do still write to them occasionally, although their replies back to you are sparse. Not out of ill feeling, because they’re always full of encouragement when they do come, but likely because your foster father doesn’t want to keep up correspondence with you, even if he’s not the one writing.

“Give it some thought, at the very least,” Luna says, gently.

You take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Finally, you say,

“...All right. I will.”

“Very good,” says Luna.

She gives you a gentle squeeze, then removes her wing. You shakily stand up and face her, already feeling as though a heavy load has been removed from your back. It felt good to get all of that off your chest, even though you know this was only the first step. Luna’s smiling again, evidently pleased at the result of your talk with her.

“Now then, there is a lighter topic I wish to speak to you about,” she says. “It’s regarding your practice.”

To your astonishment, she suddenly looks awkward. Her ears have drooped, and she shyly rubs the back of one foreleg with the other.

“I don’t suppose it would be too much to ask...I’m not suggesting it in return for counseling you, understand. I would happily have done it regardless, seeing how troubled you were. I just wondered…”

She can’t surely be asking what you think is, can she?

“Princess Luna, do you want to have an affection therapy session?” you ask, surprised.

“Only if it isn’t inconvenient for you,” says Luna, hastily. “It certainly sounds like an enjoyable and relaxing experience, from what Cadance told me. It gets very...tiring and stressful, dealing with ponies’ intense dreams every night. Not that I begrudge my duties, by any means. It is what I am meant to do, and I do it gladly. Even so, I could use some relaxation now and again. So, I would like to give affection therapy a try, yes.”

You can hardly believe your ears. Princess Luna, one of the rulers of all of Equestria, is asking you to give her a therapy session? Giving one to Cadance was grand enough, but this?

And yet, how can you possibly say no? Luna took time out of her nightly duties to personally console and comfort you, to give you good advice. It would be a poor return to deny her when she’s asking.

Smiling, you bow to her, much less awkwardly than the first time.

“I would be most honored, Your Highness.”

Luna’s face lights up with joy.

“However,” you continue, as a thought comes to you, “will it even work here? I mean, this is all a dream, and your body can’t feel what happens to you in a dream.”

“Perfectly true,” says Luna, nodding. “Even the most lucid of dreams only convey a facsimile of sensations that one would experience in the waking world. It shall have to be done in person, then.”

She says this so casually that it’s quite astounding.

“May I ask how, Your Highness? I’m booked with appointments as it is, and I don’t know if I can take the day off to come to Canterlot on such short notice.”

“You shan’t need to,” says Luna with a smile. “What time do you work?”

“Er, from noon to 5.”

“And how long do these sessions last?”

“Usually an hour.”

“Perfect,” says Luna, decisively. “Let us make arrangements to meet at your dwelling before your shift tomorrow. Will 10 AM suit you? That should give you time to get things ready.”

You goggle at her. Princess Luna is offering to come to your humble abode in person? A Princess of Equestria, in your home! The only other princess to ever do so is Twilight, and she’s practically a neighbor!

“T-That should work just fine, Your Highness,” you stammer out, and you give her your address in Ponyville.

“Then it is settled,” says Luna. “Rest now, Equestrian of the human realm, and may the remainder of your dreams be untroubled until the morning.”

“Thank you, Princess Luna.”

A glowing circle of light suddenly flares up brightly behind Luna, until she becomes little more than a shadow against it. However, you can still see her smiling at you, in a gentle, motherly way. And then, in the next instant, she’s gone.

Author's Note:

Learning a bit more about our protagonist...

Part 2 coming soon.

Comments

[Level Dasher]

I forgot about his own little sessions with Mrs. Cake and Cadance. Nice to finally learn what what was up with the voice in his head.
Now to wait for Best Princess's session!

[Hamburgertime]

This is one of my favourite stories ever.

[Eroraf86]

Holy emotional baggage, Batman! I need 50 cc's of Luna cuddles, stat!

[RebelRogue12]

Luna, at long last! Also can't wait for Celestia to get hers!

[TriforceAndroid]

Finally, our backstory! That's a very dark one!

[Hexavier]

I half expect for some reason that one day soon he'll wake up to Celestia raiding his fridge or something lol. I have no idea how my brain came up with that. Another good chapter.

[runescythe9852]

Its glad to see the writer worked on this again.

[Dan]

Many go to seek counsel, but few wonder if the counselor himself is in need of it.

It's a bit disturbing that Equestria has an equivalent to that opera, but perhaps unsurprising that Luna is a fanfilly. static.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/7/70/Princess_Luna_%22it%27s_an_opera%21%22_S9E13.png/revision/latest?cb=20190624171720

And maybe uncomfortable for Pinkie's mentor, Ponyacci. Hopefully other ponies don't confuse him with Ponygliacci.

[keroko]

"Many go to seek counsel, but few wonder if the counselor himself is in need of it.”

Often including the counsellor himself. It's so familiar to see people always willing to help others be afraid to ask for help themselves.

Good thing our friend lives in a country filled with mothers almost eager to take him under their wing. Mothers don't take "I'm okay" for an answer.

[CAPTAIN YOSHI HD]

Wow. For a foster father like the therapist had, he is quite an ass.

[Fireeaters]

Luna best pone

[Blazewing]

10806388
They’re original characters.

[AuthorGenesis]

“He never had a kind word to say to me about anything. He didn’t like that I wanted to learn magic. He didn’t care when Mom started writing less and less. He...he wasn’t sympathetic when...when I got the news...about Mom…That she...she was...gone…”

The foster father's character could be developed in two ways. One: He really is a jerk and [ pony supremacist? ] Or he's a stallion who is awkward in expressing his feelings, and so takes a stoic, stalwart, pragmatic manner of expression in an attempt to help the grieving child. And because of his awkwardness, and how he expressed himself as a result, the child perceives the foster father in a greater negative light than the stallion deserves because of it being poor communication on both parties ends.