16 - Queen's Gambit
Lyra Heartstrings - 20th of Megan, 17 EOH
The Trotting Steppe - Equestria
The four of us spent the entire day driving. I know what I had expected when we picked up a goddess as a traveling partner, and what I got was not anywhere even close to the neighborhood I'd been aiming for.
As we had backed out of the cave I had expected Faust to go ahead and have a mind-blowing conversation about the nature of reality. To explain to us truths and mysteries of the universe as some kind of Mystic Sage, a teacher, or even just a friend. Instead, she spent the entirety of the trip, from the moment we had left the cave to when had just now stop for the night in the middle of the grasslands simply laying on the dash and talking to us about ideas for a project or two that had been rattling around her brain for a while.
Miles and miles of grasslands had just sailed by out the window, the sun had gone up all the way over head and back on down, and the most interesting thing that Faust had said for that entire time was ‘I've been kicking around the idea of making a spaceborne species. You know, something that could actually live in the vacuum of space.’
And the bullshit part of that? She didn't even follow up on it very much. Instead she just started to hurriedly ramble about feeling something was wrong, but not being able to tell what it was or where until she got distracted by the idea of making us all sandwiches in order to find the perfect sandwich.
Which she did. For three hours. Not stopping until I had to explain to her that we couldn’t eat an unlimited amount of stuff.
The only thing I can really say about Faust is that she’s extremely single minded. At the very least I was now starting to understand why the gods could have spent so much time not knowing that mortals were important in any way whatsoever.
But hey at least when we parked for the night, after we explained that we tire and have to spend some time asleep (She thought it was optional.), Faust went ahead and made everyone a bed. As in she had simply willed three folding beds and quilts into existence for us to use.
So that was cool.
Seeing as how there was absolutely nothing on the horizon aside from grass and the occasional patch trees on the horizon, we just set up camp for the night next to the truck where we decided to stop. Pinkie and Rarity fell asleep the moment we had gotten the beds down. I was a different story.
I couldn't sleep at all. It didn't make any sense to sleep. I just spent the entire day in a truck next to a literal God of Creation, and the entire time I just felt like I was sitting next to some hack job sci-fi author who had nothing better to do but a rattle off the ideas they had a while drunk last night.
“Excuse me,” Faust said suddenly from where she lay on the hood of my truck.
I looked up to see her eyes trained on me in confusion. The little filly’s face she wore made impossible for me to just ignore her. If I did, I would have felt like I kicked a kitten. That had to be intentional.
“What is it?” I asked as I rolled over onto my side and levered myself up on one elbow.
“I thought you said sleep is mandatory,” she said with a small frown. “Or did you get it all done all ready?”
“I haven’t started yet,” I answered with a grunt. “Can’t sleep.”
“Why not?” She asked with a curious dip of her head.
I hesitated for a moment should I explain it to her? Should I really? That seems like something that might be best left unsaid or I could wind up being a frog or something. Standard fantasy tropes say you don't piss off the wizard, so pissing off the god had to be so much worse.
Eh, fuck it. She’d asked for honesty.
“To be honest, I'm a little bit pissed off. At you,” I admitted with a fearful grimace.
“Are you still upset at me for not understanding the nature of your consciousness?” Faust asked in an understanding way as she looked down at me from the hood.
“No, it’s not that,” I sighed, looking down at the yellow-green grass for a moment. “It's just that you're a God. Like a real actual serious God. You should know everything about this universe, or at least almost everything, and I thought that you would talk about more interesting things than your plan to make a species that can live in space.”
Faust blinked as a look of confusion spread across her face at an alarming rate.
“Wait,” she said, honestly baffled. “You don't find a species that can live in space interesting? It's never been done before! Not even by mortals working with bioengineering. I personally find that extremely interesting.”
I sighed and rubbed my temples in frustration. “No I mean, that is pretty cool and all, but I was looking forward to learning the answers to the ultimate questions. Um, actually now that I phrased it that way, it's not actually forty two is it?”
Faust shook her head in confusion. “I'm sorry, I didn't understand that. What would be forty two?” She asked.
“Oh it's just a thing from a book series,” I answered with a laugh. “It turns out that the answer to the ultimate question of life the universe and everything is forty-two. Meaning, you know, but all of Mankind's great questions about philosophy and existence are meaningless. The author, Douglas Adams, was using humor to make a point paste in absurdist philosophy which is probably best exemplified in his quote-”
I trailed off, blushing a bright pink. “Heh. Sorry about that. But do you get what I mean now?”
Faust nodded once, her auburn mane dipping slightly. “Yes, I do,” she answered. “I already explained that mortals existence was an accident. I should hope that you'd understand that a concept such as the meaning of life would not apply to creatures which were not intentionally designed.
“Your life, and in fact no mortal’s life, has any inherent meaning at all. But if you ask me that is actually superior to having a meaning to your life. I do have a meaning to my life. I am creation. It is my duty to create everything the universe cannot produce on its own. This isn't merely an obligation or responsibility, I am actually bound by my very nature to do this. I must create.
“You, on the other hand, being a mortal do not have any defined purpose. Which is a blessing as you get to make your own purpose for your own life. In short, you possess free will, and because of this fact, your life cannot have meaning, because meaning requires a pre-existing function, a duty that you were bound to perform by your very nature.
“Having free will, therefore, means it is impossible to have an inherent meaning to your life.”
I blinked a few times as I tried to absorb what she told me. It made a little bit of sense, but not too much. I mean, why can't you have both?
“Can you prove that?” I asked with a suspicious frown. “I mean, just because I was supposed to be a baker or something doesn't mean that I have to be one and would be some kind of automaton.”
Faust laughed and shook her head. “That's the response I expect from a free willed creature!” She said with a grin. “Trust me, having an implicit function within the universe has metaphysical consequences. Should you ever have a meaning imposed on your life you will understand what I am talking about.
“Honestly I'm a little bit jealous of you. I don't get to choose if I want to create, destroy, or anything else for that matter. Maybe it's just the way I see things, but from my perspective, having meaning for my life means I am not free to choose.”
I nodded to myself, I was starting to understand Faust a little bit. From what I could tell, she didn't seem to have any ability to imagine things outside of her own experience. That seems really weird considering she was supposed to be a god of creation. Maybe she could only do that sort of thing when she was focused on creating something new.
That would make sense! Because she was the goddess of creation, she lacked the ability to modify that which had already been created. Who would design a system like that?
More importantly, if Faust believed that Gods’ lives had meaning… What was that meaning?
“Okay, so, new question,” I said shifting myself so I sat upright on the bed. “You think that you have a meaning to your life, so what is it? What's the purpose of gods? It's not looking after Mortals or anything like that, so what is it?”
Faust stood up, then hopped down from the hood and walked over to me, sitting down on the grass.
“That's actually an easy question,” she said looking up at the sky. “We are system administrators. We exist to keep the universe operating within the parameters established by its designer.”
“So, the universe was designed?” I asked eagerly, smiling as I FINALLY was getting to have one of those critical ‘conversations with a god’ that I’d been expecting.
“Yes,” Faust replied with a nod. “We don't have a name for the Creator, he never told us what he calls himself, or what others call him. We usually just referred to him as ’The Big Man’ or sometimes ‘The Man Upstairs’. I do know enough about the universe to answer what I believe your question to truly be. My knowledge is not perfect. I am Creation, not Order. I am not the overseer, but merely one of the employees.
“This universe and all of the rest of the universes in this multiverse were created by the Creator when his own Universe experienced a great disaster which threatened all life within it. The true nature of the disaster is not something I know, however since my husband, War, is tasked with keeping the Eldritch Horrors which live within the void at bay I assume that these entities are the cause of, or a product of, the disaster which ended our creator's universe.
“It's probably important to tell you that you do not live within a simulation. This is not a computer program or an illusory world. This universe is a real space, with the real matter, real energy, and real spacetime. This place and everything within it is completely real.
“And yet it was created. As a life pod of sorts. It is a real place ment exclusively to be the place that a civilization long dead was to migrate to in order to continue their existence. The universe was made for them and we, the Gods, were created in order to manage that universe and ensure that it could exist for all time. We are here to eternally preserve this universe.
“That's why I say mortals are an accident. This universe already had residents before it was even created, even though they never arrived. It was a home being built for those already living, not some sort of experimental the universe to test a concept, or some sort of entertainment for extra-universal civilizations.
“Does that answer your question?”
I nodded twice. I was exactly what I wanted to know! Yes, this was exactly the stuff! So cool!
“Yeah! Almost perfectly!” I replied eagerly, leaning forwards to rest my arms in my lap. “Who are these people who were supposed to move in here? That's really the only information I'm missing now.”
Faust frowned, turning to look at me with actual concern in her eyes.
“I know nothing of them. Not one thing. All we know is that The Big Man is very angry because he is trapped where he is now, which is outside of this universe, while one of his kind has found safety within this universe. This room, um, universe as you'd call it, is hers. Somewhere within this universe lives the one person who could potentially answer that question for you. Unfortunately, I cannot,” Faust apologized before laying down on the grass.
I opened my mouth to ask who that person could possibly be, but Faust cut me off.
“I don't mean to be rude, but as I understood it, friendship is about mutual benefit and equivalent exchange. Would you mind if I ask a question now?” Faust asked hopefully.
“Oh, um, sure! Go ahead,” I said with an embarrassed grimace.
She was right. I was dominating the conversation here.
“Do you enjoy living?” Faust asked me curiously, looking up into my eyes.
Did I? I frowned, thinking back over my life and slowly frowning.
“You know… I don’t think that I did. But I am enjoying myself recently,” I began. “I mean, well, I've been unsatisfied with my entire life so far, really. I've always wanted to be a different species than the one I was, to live in a different time or world than where I was, or at the very least to get to experience something unique and interesting. My old life just bored me, I guess.
“But now? Now I am a shapeshifter with three distinct forms, who is on a road trip with a goddess, and just now got to learn the real purpose of the universe. And you know, sure it's not exactly a purpose that I'm happy with; I was hoping for something that would give a meaning to it and that I had a part to play in, but the revelation itself is a very cool experience to have had.
“So I'd say that my life was kind of lame, but is currently improving by a lot.”
Faust nodded slowly. “Alright, that species thing… Why?” She asked with a scientific, analyzing, inquisitive gaze.
I winced at the expression she gave me, turning away and remaining quiet for a moment. “I just… I never felt human. I always felt like something else. Something, undefined, but not human. It’s a weird feeling, okay? Most people I knew of though of people like me as insane.
“Hey, maybe I am insane. But now? I’ve got fur, hooves, cool pony ears. I don’t feel, um… Bored with myself. Yeah! That’s it. I felt bored with myself. That’s a way I can put it.”
“Thank you,” Faust said as she gave me an understanding smile. “I’m simply trying to understand Dawn’s intentions. You shouldn’t have the capacity to feel your body is wrong… Not if you're of static form. Creating such a conflict is, well, extremely unethical.”
“Sounds like you’re suspicious of this, Dawn guy,” I mused.
Faust nodded. “I am… I don’t want to believe it, but logic suggests that the one to give a mortal knowledge of how to kill one of us would be the one of us who most often interacts with mortals. With Dusk dead, that would be Dawn.
“Oh! Would you like to know the purpose of this journey for me? In relation to my case, I mean.”
I nodded eagerly. “Absolutely!”
“There is an artifact located in the Crystal Empire known as the Crystal Heart,” Faust reminded. “If I were to approach Dawn in person, then he would sense me coming and could hide from my sight. Much as he seems to have done when I went to check on him a short time ago. Though I must admit, the Everfree Forest MIGHT be naturally capable of preventing me from seeing things within it… I doubt it, but I can’t rule it out.
“Regardless, I can use the Crystal Heart to look at Dawn without him sensing me in return. I would simply make another, but in case we’re not dealing with Dawn, but rather with the Voidborn are responsible and are slowly creeping into this reality, as War fears, then making a new Crystal Heart would alert them to the fact that we are looking for creatures capable of hiding from us. Which would most certainly cause the cold war between us to go hot.”
I winced immediately. “So… Best case scenario, your son murdered your daughter. Worst case, Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn?”
Faust winced. “Be careful with that Lovecraft crap! He- He knew things no mortal should be burdened with,” Faust said with an urgent warning in each breath. “He wasn’t a seer. His writings are not all true, but some of the creatures, words, and even the odd spell or two… They are quite real.”
My tail and ears shot up in pure terror.
“Understood!” I squeaked nervously.
Faust frowned sadly. “I understand that is terrifying, it scares me too, honestly. How about we discuss something happy? This friend of yours whom you are visiting. What’s her name?” Faust asked, her eagerness to talk about anything else showing her fear to be equal to my own.
I shook my head. “Not until you explain to me why a GOD of all things is worried about those Voidborn things!” I yelped.
Faust’s ears drooped sadly. “W-Well that’s simple, really. I am in no danger. I could flee them forever. But I have a mate, the God of War… I believe your species called him Ares, or Mars?”
I was about to ask if that meant they were the Roman pantheon when Faust suddenly smiled, her ears perking upright. “Oh no! That’s right, your culture called your god of war Chief! We’ll go with Chief.
“His meaning of life is to fight them off whenever they find a way into the universe. If they attack en masse, he could be killed… I didn’t know we could die. So, I- I’m worried about him now. I never was before.”
I reached down and pulled her up into my lap, wrapping Faust in a tight sympathetic hug.
She eeped in surprise as she found herself pulled into my arms. “Ack! Unhand me this-” her upset cry stopped as her ears relaxed and her tail swished happily. “This is quite nice actually!”
I laughed. “It’s called a hug,” I said with a smile.
“I know what it is,” Faust laughed. “I- Well, so as not to be rude, I’ll just say that your ability to provide me with emotional comfort via physical contact clinches it. You’re a person for certain.”
“You were STILL having doubts about that?” I asked incredulously. “After hanging out with us for so long?”
Faust blushed again, wiggling her way out of my lap. “I’m not a faith-based person, Lyra,” Faust admitted with an embarrassed droop of her ears. “I needed a scientific test, and that was one. My daughter’s hypothesis has been confirmed by my testing, so now I can wholeheartedly accept reality as it is!”
“That’s fair,” I said with a decisive nod. “You wanted to know about Sunset, right?”
She nodded. “Yes! Anyone whom you would travel between universes to visit must be important,” Faust said eagerly.
“She was my best friend growing up,” I began with a sad sigh. “And she was also my first girlfriend. We didn’t work out, but well… I want to be friends again. I missed her. Especially because well, she got to come here YEARS ago! We always talked about going on an adventure as kids, and then she got to go on one without me. I felt left out.
“I still do. So, well, you know. I want to see her, apologize for pushing my kinks all the time, become best friends again, meet the girl she’s dating now. And then after, going on a double date…”
I trailed off. Faust’s ears perked eagerly as she leaned forwards, honestly invested. “Then what?” she asked.
I smiled. “Well, then, in the dead of night, she and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those longboats, and then, we row back to Spain like there's no mañana!” I said, beaming Faust a grin.
Her ears drooped as she tried to understand my joke. “Um… Spain?” She asked, completely lost.
I sighed and lay down on my bed. I thought a fucking goddess might have gotten the joke…
“While I’m sleeping, why don’t you go ahead and look through my memories for all the old books and movies I watched. Then you can be the only person to get my referential humor. Just, you know, only look at that stuff, okay?” I asked, shaking my head slowly.
“Is understanding another’s humor critical to friendship?” Faust asked curiously.
“Yes,” I answered completely honestly.
“Then I will do that as soon as you are asleep, and before you go to bed, I will share with you some things so you can understand my humor as well!” Faust exclaimed as she broke out into the biggest grin ever.
“Wait, wha-” I began only for my brain to become immediately and totally saturated with a trillion alien concepts.
Before I could even hope to order my thoughts, and separate them from the tsunami of ephemeral notions blasting through my mind, I felt Faust’s ‘voice’ within my mind.
What she said could never hope to be put into any words which mortal languages had made, each concept was completely alien to the limited experiences of a simple three-dimensional creature, save for those few literally crazy people who pushed the envelope of scientific knowledge within the field of String Theory.
Together, the concepts formed a single whole which I could only hope to describe as a particular fold within four-dimensional space that formed the mathematical equivalent of a pun. And was HILARIOUS!
A pillow struck me in the back of the head, making me realize I’d collapsed into a laughing fit.
“Some of us are trying to sleep!” Rarity roared, one draconic eye twitching angrily.
“HAHA!” I gasped, giving her the most apologetic grin I could manage. “I’m sorry! Just, oh my god! HEHEHEHEHEHE!”
“I know, right?” Faust giggled, grinning back at me. “I’m eager to understand your joke too, so if you wouldn’t mind…”
I nodded twice. “Of course! Just, HA!” I laughed as I lay down, tossing Rarity back her pillow as I moved. “Night, Faust. Sorry, Rarity… I… I couldn’t explain that joke if I tried.”
“Don't care! Bed now, do please!” She grumbled angrily.
“Good night, Lyra,” Faust said as she hopped up onto the hood of my truck.
I nodded, closed my eyes, and suppressing as much of the laughter as I could, I drifted off to sleep.
Princess Celestia - 20th of Megan, 17 EOH
Canterlot Castle - Equestria
I'm a patient mare. It comes from having lived as long as I have. Whatever has to happen to the mind in order to allow you to experience multiple millennia and yet remain sane most definitely makes you into a patient person.
Unfortunately, there's a downside to being as patient as I am. Occasionally there comes a time when a quick action is more valuable than waiting and seeing how things fall. One of the key differences between my sister and I is that she is a warrior, and I am a politician. Luna is always the one to strike while the iron is hot, while I am the one who prefers To be sure the hammer blow will fall where it must, even if that means the iron must cool slightly.
This is not always a strength. In fact, it is often a weakness. But the game of war and the game of civilization are two very different sets of rules. In wartime, failure to act quickly can be your downfall, but in peacetime, one can take all the time they need to ensure that war doesn't happen.
That is what I did for Equestria.
From the day I took the crown and became Princess, I sought only to implement policies and establish norms which would prevent our nation from ever seeking to, or having to, go to war. Naturally, it would be foolish to entirely eschew violence. After all, there are monsters which lurk in the dark, as well as those who would strike terror into the hearts of the innocent. But full-scale war is something that I hoped I had completely eliminated from the lives of my little ponies.
I took pride in that. Equestria flourished through diplomacy, friendship, and harmony. Yes, we were a little behind other nations militarily. That was true. I had instructed my soldiers in ways of combat which primarily focused on threats which would be presented to our nation from smaller things.
That is all we needed. A force presence to counter smaller, more personal threats. The odd horde of displaced or hungry monsters which encroached upon civilization, the rare crazy wizard who sought to take over the world, nobles who got a bug up their butts about some stupid issue and refuse to resolve things diplomatically, resorting to force instead…
Sure, they were preparing for war. Just in case. But standing orders for all Guard Legions was to stick to the approved, less than lethal tactics and equipment, except in the case of an emergency. Or naturally, war. So I don't think anypony expected to fight a war. Not these days.
It is the duty of those who live to reduce the suffering of those who will live. I grew up with war. Thus, I eliminated war. The lack of organized mass combat is perhaps the greatest of my accomplishments.
Unfortunately, the lack of true war has led to some misconceptions on the parts of those who truly don't know any better.
Like the nobles I talked to at this very moment. The group of assorted unicorns and pegasi from the Trottingham city council we're under the impression that is a small group of organized criminals constituted an army, which meant their law enforcement was at war and therefore they required the assistance of not only several legions of the EUP Guard, but also the Elements of Harmony.
The army, and our super weapon… To handle thirty some odd ponies. Who just wanted to make a buck selling strong booze.
“Lord Riverbank,” I said for the fifth time, doing my best to hold in the weary sigh. “While I do acknowledge that your men are having difficulty disrupting the smugglers, organized crime is not a war.”
“But it is!” The bright purple unicorn stallion insisted, stamping his hoof angrily into the red carpet which led to my throne. “They are an organized group working against the Equestrian government who will use force against us!”
I closed my eyes, doing my best to focus on the calming mental picture of my throne room when empty. I honestly love the way it looks. I expressly designed to my throne room to be soothing to me.
I needed it to be. Especially during emergencies where I couldn't simply send my primary solutions to solve a problem.
Unfortunately this time, my stress was not quite as easily soothed. After all, if any of the nobility knew that the elements were not functional at this time, there would be mass panic. Chaos in the streets.
I sensed that my best bet would be to try and give this idiot an idea of what exactly war was.
“Lord Riverbank,” I said opening my eyes to look at him once more, putting on the most serious expression I could manage. “What is the goal of these criminals that you're currently having such a problem with?”
He sputtered angrily, ears standing upright with indignation. “Princess! Have I not been explaining the situation to you for the last hour?!” He demanded.
“You have, your lordship. But please humor me just for a moment,” I pleaded.
He sighed, showing himself to be equally weary to myself. A good sign. Nothing ever gets done in politics before one side gets bored of arguing.
“They seek to make an exceptional sum of money for themselves by bringing various banned goods into the city, such as, recreational drugs, spirits with a content over fifty percent, and adult oriented materials more appropriate for the Crystal Empire than Trottingham,” Riverbank summarized.
I nodded. “In other words, their goals depend almost exclusively upon Equestria and its citizens. They do not seek to destroy us or force us to change our ways. Neither our culture nor society are under threat by them, as their income depends on us being the way we are. Correct?”
He frowned, mouth moving very slightly as if trying to come up with the right set of words to voice his disagreement. After a moment, unable to find any, he nodded.
“I suppose that’s true, but what of it?” He asked, taking a step forwards from his group of allies. “They're still an armed group of individuals who on many occasions have attacked law enforcement officers, even killing a few on occasion. Furthermore, this mafia is more than we are able to handle on our own! We need help. We need you to send the guard to enforce the law! Or better yet, we need the Elements to come and solve this situation in their usual efficient manner.”
“The Elements are busy at the moment,” I said as evenly as I could manage. “ I have sent them on a quest of great importance to Equestria. Otherwise, I would be happy to send them to handle this situation. As for the guard, I have already authorized you to dispatch your own contingent into the streets to supplement your law enforcement officer’s ponypower.
“But I will not order Legions from other towns to Trottingham except during a time of War. Count yourself lucky that you have never seen a real war and your entire life, to the point of believing that an organized band criminals composed of a mere thirty individuals as best as you can tell, operating within your city, feels like war.”
“It IS war!” Lady Cobbled Lane protested angrily.
Oh for buck’s sake! What did I have to do? Illustrate one of my memories with illusion spells? Luna was right, we should include a Horrors of War segment in public education. The safer cities in Equestria were absolutely becoming too safe for their own good!
Oh wow! Luna and I agreeing on a war-related social policy. It’s been at least four centuries since that-
The room’s gold plated double doors thudded open, cold evening air drifting through the opening while an absolutely battered Royal Guard Pegasi staggered through the opening. My eyes widened in fright, his breastplate had been ripped open enough to show the shredded flesh beneath. Along with two solid looking exposed ribs.
The only thing keeping this pony moving had to be shock. And the small blue cloud crest on his right shoulder showed him to be a Sergeant with the Royal Scout Corps. And I’d only dispatched scouts to Ponyville recently. To see how Sparkle was doing with the Everfree attack.
“Report!” I ordered, standing up as I gave him the command to walk over and use what healing spells I knew to tend to his wounds.
“It’s gone…” He groaned, his raspy voice suggesting a bruised lung in addition to the grievous wound. “Princess, the town’s gone…”
Gone? What did he mean gone?
“I need the full details, um, Misty Mornings, right? Just keep talking. I can tend to your wounds,” I said to him as soothingly as I could.
Whatever had made this cut was exceptionally strong… But not strong enough to completely ignore his armor. Perhaps a small dragon, or a larger timberwolf. Or, heavens forbid, a Hide Behind.
Reaching for my magic, I readied a healing spell which would knit the wound shut, taking my time to ensure the spell would work for him. Even as old as I was, healing magic still presented a challenge to me, as it does to everyone who doesn't have a talent for it.
“Ponyville in its entirety, it's gone,” Misty said, looking up at me fearfully. “The entire town has been leveled. Literally leveled! The only buildings left standing are what appears to be an old guard fort, the local spa, and a single home which has its own force fields. Everything else is gone, even the rubble. It's just one big pit in the ground.
“The Everfree is not responsible. The whole town to swimming with, with monsters! I have no idea what they are, my Princess. I’m sorry. I truly don’t know! There’s thousands of them. Literally thousands of things I’ve never seen before in my life. And they are ORGANIZED!”
As Misty finished speaking, I released my spell. The golden light of my magic wrapped around his chest and barrel, sinking into places which I hadn’t noticed were injured before. My attention had been focused on the major injury I had seen, as well as the dire way he spoke.
“Organized? How? What happened to your partners? Are they alive?” I asked urgently as the major gash in his chest began to knit itself back together. “Did you get any pictures?”
“Oh! I see,” Lord Riverbank sneered. “When it’s Ponyville you care, but when it’s Trottingham, you don’t.”
Misty reached into a small pouch hanging from his armor and took out a silver imager. The intricately inscribed silver binocular-like device had a large scratch on the top of the case. The gleaming metal within showing the damage to be fresh, likely from the claw which hit him.
“Who the hay is that idiot?” Misty asked, doing his best to glare at Riverbank. “My three best friends are… They’re-”
“Dead?” I asked worriedly.
Clearly some group of foul creatures that provoked the Everfree into attacking as cover to go after Ponyville. The town's natural oddities made it into one of my greatest defenses for the nation. Naturally, the place which was almost guaranteed to be attacked instead of elsewhere received priority when it came to defense. If it had truly fallen…
Misty opened the imager’s top, and turned the knob to display the last recorded image. Immediately, illusory copy of the battlefield came to life. I could see the thousands of creatures he had spoken of. These were not monsters, these were people. You could tell by the way they organized themselves into clear rows, columns, and blocks.
This was an army, a real army, not some mafia pretending to be a big time threat. Even worse, not one single creature in this army was something I recognized. Some of the things could have been ponies, but the rest of them were twisted, horrible things, which I had never dreamed I would see outside of a nightmare! The assembled masses were an army of scaly skins, powerful muscles which rippled unnaturally, and things which looked as if they had been designed not only to rip flesh and bone, but also to rend armor asunder.
A mere glance at the six seconds of the recording showed all of that beyond a shadow of a doubt. This was a true attack. No, this was war!
I had failed.
That was terrifying enough, but even more horrific to my eyes was what they were using as their standard. An iron cross, covered in hooks and barbs, rather than being smooth, with one of the three scouts impaled upon the top as an ornament, chest ripped open, ribs pulled apart in a ritualistic fashion, and threaded with ropes from which the other two scouts had been hung from nooses.
This wasn’t a group which wanted our land. They didn’t want us to change our culture. They wanted only to destroy us.
There was no hiding the large projection from the nobles gathered in my throne room. They screamed, their terror digging into my heart. I had failed...
“Gods help us…” I whispered fearfully, taking a step back from the image, wings flaring open in horror.
This was it. This was the evil my dreams had warned me of. Oh Celestia, you stupid pony! It wasn’t some terrible new monster or the return of some old foe on their own… It was war. Your real enemy. Back at last, after having spent the entire time sharpening its claws.
Folding my wings back against my sides, I took a deep breath and pointed at the floating image with one hoof. “That, Lord Riverbank, is war,” I said darkly, closing my eyes. “And I truly regret that you have now seen it.”
I turned to Misty while reaching out with my magic to rip the ruby from the right arm of my throne and to take Misty’s imager from his hoof’s weakened grip.
“Misty, report directly to the infirmary. We’ll need everypony at full health and ready for battle,” I said, ears drooped, but heart beginning to burn with anger.
The ruby reached me a split second later, right as Misty staggered to his hooves to leave. I nodded towards the nobles, looking Riverbank in the eyes.
“Go home. Now. Before you’re trapped here by the enemy. Trottingham can NOT fall to the enemy. Too much of our economy depends on your city. Martial law is hereby in effect, do NOT stand in the guard’s way,” I ordered.
“Um, yes! Right,” he mumbled to himself worriedly, glancing at his friends before the group of them ran for the doors, practically stumbling over each other as they fled the room.
As soon as they left, I slammed the throne room's doors shut with my magic. The messenger gem which had been hidden in plain sight on my throne was not something to allow others to know about. With any luck, Misty and those nobles would believe I had ripped it off in anger.
Raising the gem to my lips I gave it its instructions. “Mass message: All EUP Guard Captains. Attach image: Last recording of the nearest imager. Classify with ‘your eyes only’ enchantment. Message as follows: Captains, war is upon us. Defense Protocols are hereby set to Mauve. All troops are to immediately be equipped with wartime equipment.
“The enemy is an unknown force of non-pony creatures. They are amassed at the ruins of Ponyville and are intent on the total destruction of Equestria. All Frontier Guard Companies are hereby recalled to your respective wartime cities. Ponyville’s Guard Company is to reinforce Canterlot.
“Martial law is hereby in effect. Priority one is to safeguard all Equestrian citizens until the enemy's plans can be ascertained.
“Confirmation code: Platinum hawk twelve theta falcon two omega.”
There. It is done. Equestria is officially at war.
I felt sick, truly disgusted with myself. Not for declaring war, but for failing to prevent this evil in the first place.
I sighed and lifted the messenger gem to my lips again. “Royal Armory: Blackmane, it’s Celestia. I will be in the armory in five minutes. I need my armor ready for battle,” I informed.
A second passed before the mare’s worried voice replied. “S-sorry, Princess! I was across the room from my gem,” she said quickly. “Is the Dragon King coming for a surprise visit?”
“No,” I replied bitterly. “I need my functional armor made ready. This is war. Make a selection of weapons available as well. We will be under attack shortly.”
Whoever is responsible for this evil… Whoever brought this army to my country… In flames you’ll burn!
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Lyra... Stop putting Faust up on a pedestal. God is just a name. A name and and concept we created...
*has both free will and was designed with a clear purpose in mind*
Um.
7925975 Its human nature to do so.
7925997 She actually states she doesn't think she is free willed. Rather, she sees her actions as deterministic, operations performed via calculation, not 'I just feel like doing this right now'.
7926050
Is there a difference between the two?
Nice Chapter!
I like the parts with Celestia greatly.
Well I have a solution to her whole lack of free will problem. She is the god of creation. She can create anything she wants/can Invision. Create Free Will and give it to herself.
7926054 IRL? THat's a pointless subject to debate. In fantasy fiction? Usually, yeah.
7926072 It was about time she got something to do! Also, you know, got to show that she's not sitting on her butt eating cake for this whole affair.
Now I see this ending one of three ways. The EoH return, and are somehow powerful enough to deal with Dawn and his entire demon army at once, Celestia goes nuclear-age Gandhi on those demons, or the Aramenellî (minus Dawn and our missing-in-action Dusk) show up and kick the army's collective asses by wiping them from reality.
7926323 THat... THat's so obvious. How did I not think of that? Kudos dude, that's actualy a good turn for the story to take!
7926367 Option 4: Doom Guy, Master Chief, and Lt. Munro walk into a bar...
7926367 Celestia commands a nation technically ready for war of a colonial scale. A small number of soldiers with excellent training and equipment.
England had one of those at the beginning of WW1. They only lasted long enough for some mass conscription to happen.
You can't fight a conventional war without numbers. Not when you don't have a disturbing technological/power advantage. And the ponies don't. They face now the full might of the armies of hell.
What will actually happen? Warcraft 2. Nations banding together to fight a war with a force greater than anything the world has ever seen (that they know of). Celly should be happy, she most likely won't have to lose her country for others to move. The Emperor is back and he knows that kind of bullshitery is Dawn' specialty. The Iron Wall will most likely go to the offensive, fuck whatever sun butt has to say about it. Most likely swallowing the bitter pill of necromancy with a thank you.
The Griffons would not be much of a problem if Prance got equestria to promise retaliation on them if they took advantage of that.
The other nations of the world? Hard to know. But when the most powerful beings in the world say "hey, either we all fight or we all rekt, yo!" you listen. Specially after seeing the kind of shit that goes down there.
Of course, it might follow the Warcraft path somewhat more and making them only get into the action once they're attacked. Oh wait, Dawn is not stupid, that ain't happening before equestria falls.
That does bring the emeralds into the equation, though. They have extremely advanced technology that could tip the scales... If not by the fact that Tartarus has BFMs that need giant robots or BTL heroes to fight. Neighpon would most likely help, but I foresee a absurd rise in the number of monster attacks through the world.
Oh, and the elements? They are not a "I win" button in this one. They are a requirement for the victory conditions. No cheesing of this time. This is true war, and it shall be won through steel, determination and lives. Plenty of them.
May friendship have mercy on their souls, for they face life itself. And what he bears does rhyme with lemons...
Lyra has rolled a natural 20 on "divine knowledge" and gained the favor of Creativity.
Glad to see Faust is smart, she believes it's Dawn, but isn't putting all of her eggs in on that, I wonder what her reaction will be when she see's Dawn leading the armies of hell, also when she finds out Dusk is alive and has a pony marefriend.
Can I please punch that 'noble' in the face, a lot? you want to go to war over what would most likely be in our world, the import of weed, vodka, and porn, really?
Well as the saying go's "All Hell just broke loose", I seem to remember Tia being able to turn herself into a nuke, can she do that and thin the crowd a bit?
7925975 by definition a god is:
And yes Lyra stop putting her on a pedestal, she just told you that you have more free will then she does, also you just hugged a god, those are not things you do to people on a pedestal, you do that to friends.
7926863 If you want a real mind fuck, then I'll tell you that Faust contradicted herself, twice, and she doesn't even realize it. She is misinformed about some things due to her nature, and will have a "Fuck I'm dumb!" moment when she realizes. Good luck figuring them out.
We have faith in you. (some)
This is going to be good.
(What I picture as a good theme for Celestia in a time of War)
7926409
Wait. That wasn't where you were going?
I thought it would also explain another reason she would be down here, learning about free will to make sure she doesn't screw up in Her creation of free will for Herself.
7926571
"Let us through or I'll cut one line across your nation and salt the earth as we advance, losses be damned."
"Sounds fair."
True. the Emeralds only have 66 or so Mechs built. Mostly to prototype designs for Neighpone's armor and to test weapons of that scale. That said, given a pressing need and enough scrap pieces, that could go up by 1 every day or so. And sometimes, you just need one mech.
Of course... They'd probably replace the head/cockpit with a replica of a Hemi Barracuda. You know, just for good luck.
They could also patch Rightious's code to authorize him to utilize anything at his disposal and he could fire something like this down to the surfice. That's a pretty dangerous idea tho... (But WAY safer for everypony than orbital bombardment).
7926863
*eye-twitch-to-end-all-eye-twitches* " https://youtu.be/fanAE6m5qtE?t=25s " !!! (Though that song looses a LOT of it's metalness when you know that the lead singer once said this about it: " *Laughs*... This song is a funny one... Ok, to explain this you really need to know a bit Swedish. You see, in Swedish the bird "Bull Finch" is called "Domherre" which if you separate the words and translate them directly into English will become Dom = Doom, Herre = Lord.... that is DoomLord. So the song is about a small bird. The voice is a well known Swedish comedian from the nearby area who reads from a bird book about the "Domherre"... Scary or what!? " And what's that voice saying? THis...)
<"The bullfinch is accustomed to visiting bird feeders in the winter, making it one of the best known bird species in Sweden. The male can be very upset if you imitate his call by whistling in his territory. He can be spotted by his red chest, swept back head with the black skullcap and will also repeatedly fly over most locations for a more thorough inspection. Usually, the bullfinch is a town bird, but some move in October to Denmark and Central Europe, and will return in March. Some years, a large number can be seen in towns, like you're the country; In 1961 was listed at Falsterbo bird station a real mass migration, when 10,000 bullfinches in one day went to Denmark!">
(They wrote it after their lead guitarist was somehow hospitalized by an attacking bullfinch... Must have been an incarnation of Sly Marbo.)
7926932 Dude! Nice :D 10/10
7927175
Yeah! Like that god damn actual living rock creature off the coast of Cuba!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pyura_chilensis
Quite. Though not out of malice, just out of a 'it's standard practice, you know that' norms driven thing.
Yup! ALso this way he gets to NOT drive in the same circle for all of time.
7896452
I'm mostly familiar with the Nightmare Fuel scps.
7927640 correct me if I'm wrong, but I see this as a war you NEED the otherwise overpowered and downright silly in their overkill potential just to be able to fight it properly. Things like mechs to fight Big Fucking Monsters for Bigger Than Life heroes are in short supply; an army of thousands of undead astartes equivalents to hold the legions of doom, and said heroes to be able to punch through amidst that chaos to bring Death to Life. Huh, that's rather poetic.
Tia's activity on the war is certainly to be curious, for Luna is the Warrior. How will the Princess fight? Will she be relentless enough, willing to sacrifice her soldier's lives to secure victory? Most likely yes, but how much will that weight on her shoulders?
And what about Lulu herself? That nightmare form in the field of battle must be terrifying.
Now, sure, spaceships are most certainly something Dawn didn't think about, so Rarity just became an even more valuable asset. Let's just hope she's not too distracted playing with her new diamond toys for that
7928786
Fortuantly, she has yet to realise that those can be manufactured >>
Whew, only Mauve. I thought it was going to be Paisley-level. Or even Plaid!
7929137 Plaid is for if Pinkie ever goes rouge...
I wonder what kinda of punishment dawn is facing...
7929275 Isn't Pinkie already kind of rouge?
7931044 Sky: "I know you didn't just call my wife dishonest and unprincipled..."
7931803 Nope, just a shade on the red side of the spectrum.
7931812 dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9468-image1.png
7930771 5 minutes alone in a dark room with a completely immobilised almost dead Dalek.
A fate far more horrifying than you think...
7931831
7931812 s30.postimg.org/ea34mf95d/r4l.png
7932036
We're the renegades we're the pinkies
With our own philosopinks
We change the course of history
Everyday pinkies like you and me
We're the renegades of pink
We're the renegades of pink
7932029
cdn.pophangover.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/disgusted-oh-god-why-text.png
that would be scary D:
7935445 It would be intresting for him to meet the only thing(s) capable of being more devoted to hatred of all that lives than him.
7935889 maybe you could do it as an alternate ending?
if you don't have something similar planned that is :P
I think that sounds very interesting!
Eldritch void horrors, never a good thing.
Now that's interesting, and leads to some big questions about what The Big Man would think about the accidental life in his universe, what this interloper thinks, and how Dawn relates to either. Is he working for someone, perhaps? Maybe even unknowingly on account of his structured purpose and lack of true free will?
Speaking of, I'm really glad to see that Faust is suspicious of what Dawn is up to and has a plan for covertly investigating him.
That's a bit humanizing. Er, mortalizing?
That could have ended poorly. Based on Faust's questions about how mortals work, including some pretty physical ones, I'm slightly concerned that she wouldn't have known whether that little trick might have just made Lyra's brain explode.
Don't feel too bad, Celestia. Unless you are are omnipotent war probably isn't something you could have avoided forever, and I like to believe that the overall plan had great results while it lasted.
And that's what I like about Lyra. Kindred spirit identified.
I think that's Master Chief, Faust, dear.
That's the only war-god-ish chief I can think of, anyway.
The last space-living species I encountered gave rise to the dirge, "Dragonmen must fly, when Threads are in the sky."