A Tale of a Suitor and a Son

by superfunnelc

The Attack

We join our characters White Noise, and Grey Byte eating breakfast the morning after White's date with Celestia.

"So what your saying is that you got raped in jail?" Said White munching on a piece of toast.

"Yes I did. Also why did it take you so long to get me out?" Said Grey.

"Dude, I was on a date." Said White.

"Fair enough. But I gotta ask, who are you dating?" Said Grey.

"Well, she has a son, and her last coltfriend who was the father of her son died." Said White.

"Ya ya ya, but what's her name?" Said Grey taking a sip of coffee.

"Celestia." Said White.

"What!?" Said Grey spitting out his mouthful of coffee.

"I am dating Celestia." Repeated White.

"How are you dating Celestia?" Said Grey.

"She said something about me reminds me about her last coltfriend." Said White.

"Seriously? Even though I would love to ask you more, we have to get to the station." Said Grey.

"Oh, shoot. Your right." Said White as he stood up and walked towards the door. "Oh, Grey when we are on the air do not say anything about who I am dating, all we are going to say is that I am off the market."

"Got it." Said Grey as they exited their apartment and began to walk towards the radio station.

*10 Minutes Later*

"Good morning Equestria! I am White Noise, and he is Grey Byte and this is Radio Equestria!" Said White into the microphone.

"Now I would like to say something that happened quite recently, last night White Noise got a marefriend." Said Grey into the mic. "Now I know what some of our female listeners are saying. Who is that mare so that I may rip her a new one?! However I will not tell you who White's marefriend is."

"Thank you, Grey for informing the world of my social life." Said White. "Now it's time for some music."

"I am thinking Sapphire Shores." Said Grey as he played a song. "So tell me more about your date."

"What is there to tell? I had dinner, Shining Armor and Cadance came over to watch a movie, and Celestia and I walked while she carried her son to his room." Said White.

"How old his her son?" Said Grey.

"I don't know, I am guessing 14, maybe 15." Said White.

"You know I think I would have know about something like that." Said Grey.

"Well it's a long story." Said White.

*Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle*

We find, the young Prince SeaBreeze in an apparent fight to the death with two other Pegasus.

"You'll never defeat me!" Shouted SeaBreeze as leap over the two other ponies and delivered sharp kicks to their legs.

"Come on! You really think that will defeat me!" Said one of the ponies, who we will refer to as Pony 1.

"Same here!" Shouted the other pony who we will refer to as Pony 2.

"Sounds like the two of you are asking for a flank whooping!" Said SeaBreeze as he leap into the air and began to corkscrew, and use his limbs like flails.

"Holy C-!" Was all Pony 2 manged to say before SeaBreeze's hoof collided with his forehead knocking him out cold.

"Son of a-." Said Pony 1 before being knocked to the ground by SeaBreeze.

"Looks like I win again. What do you think Mr.Charger?" Said SeaBreeze as a pony who was standing in the shadow emerges, that pony was SeaBreeze's tutor, and guardian Silent Charger.

"Looks like it SeaBreeze." Said Charger.

"Sorry Blue, old friend better luck next time." Said SeaBreeze as he helped up his friend Blue Breeze who is not related to SeaBreeze what so ever.

"Thanks. Now what are we going to do about Graze?" Said Blue pointing to the unconscious pony Razor Graze.

"W-what happened?" Said Graze waking up.

"Never mind." Said Blue.

"Well it looks like SeaBreeze wins again, honestly guys if I didn't know any better I would think you two were going easy on him because he was the prince." Said Charger.

"No they are not, I am just great at fighting." Said SeaBreeze.

"Very well, you three have two hour break, now if you will excuse me, some guard recruit thought it funny to steal one of my text books." Said Charger as he unfolded his bat like wings and flew off towards the guard barracks.

"I pity that recruit." Said Blue.

"Ya same here." Said SeaBreeze.

"So Sea, I heard your mom has a new flame." Said Graze.

"Don't bring that up, my father was the only pony that was good enough for my mother." Snapped SeaBreeze.

"Would you lock him in a room with 173?" Asked Blue as the trio began to walk towards the dinning hall.

"Dear Celestia no! No living being deserves to be locked in a room with 173. Instead I would lock him in a room with 682. To me, White is a little bit above D-Class." Said SeaBreeze.

"A little bit above D-Class? Your being soft." Joked Blue.

"While we are on related topics, tell me. Does 343 exist? If anypony were to know It would be you." Said Graze.

"Graze, 343 is my grandmother." Said SeaBreeze.

"Wait, does that mean 173 is r-." Said Blue.

"I'm joking. Or am I?" Said SeaBreeze as they entered the dinning hall.

"Wait why did we come here again?" Said Graze.

"White might be a little bit above D-Class but let's see how dedicated he is to my mother. Blue gather up all of the ray garlic you can find. Graze I need you to get three gas masks, it is time to attack." Said SeaBreeze as his minions, ran off to get the items

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"What did you call us?"

"Minions. Why?"

"You are going down!"

"Not likely"

"Who are you?"

"A better question would be, how are you talking to me?"

"I have no Idea."

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Okay don't know how that happened anyway *Mean While at the radio station 1 hour later*

"So White when is your next date with your marefriend?" Said Grey on air.

"Actually I am heading over to her place for lunch, so see you guys later." Said White as he left.

"Well this is awkward." Said Grey.

"Ya it kinda is."

"Who was that?!" Said Grey.

"Wait, you can hear me?"

"Ya." Said Grey.

"Oh shoot son."

Sorry about that guys, I couldn't resist *Back at Canterlot Castle 10 minutes later*

"Ah, you must be White Noise." Said Charger approaching White who had sneaked in though the garden.

"Who wants to know?" Said White

"Silent Charger, I am the Prince's tutor. His mother sent me to find you, the court is lasting longer then usual, so she has to postpone the date for an hour or so.

"How long have you been SeaBreeze's tutor?" Said White.

"Only a few years, but I have protected the young prince since a little bit before he was born. His mother and I go back." Said Charger.

"How long?" Said White.

"A few thousand years. When she found out she was pregnant Celestia, wanted an old friend to give her advice and she sent Drift to find me, and here I am." Said Charger

"So you were her when SeaBreeze's father died?" Said White.

"Yes I was, I could have prevented those three guards from paying the ultimate price, but I was reluctant to pick up a blade once again." Said Charger sighing.

"Could you tell me the story?" Said White.

"Why would I tell you?" Said Charger.

"Because SeaBreeze hates me and I don't know why." Said White.

"Very well. It was a crisp fall morning after the Grand Galloping Gala, the prince was only a few months old."

*Flash Back*

Security was low because most of the guards had pulled a double shift during the Gala, Prince SeaBreeze and two other foals Razor Graze, and Blue Breeze were being watched by Princess Cadance who had setup a small overnight daycare for them in one of the many extra rooms of the palace. Graze, and Blue were both sons of guards, high ranking guards mind you and SeaBreeze, well other then being Celestia's son he was also the son of the head of the guard, Captain Drift.

I had become somewhat of an adviser to Celestia, but other then that I was just there to protect SeaBreeze. Celestia and I were walking over to where Cadance had setup the daycare.

"So what your saying is that nothing happened between you and Luna?" Said Celestia.

"Not necessarily, your highness." I said.

"Charger we've known each other for thousands of years. Call me Tia." Said Celestia.

*Present Day*

"Hold up! How could you have known the Princess for thousands of years?!" Said White.

"It was back during the Griffin War, it was the day I got my Cutie Mark. I saw my parent killed in front of me, in anger I picked up their swords and slaughtered the Griffins. In disgust in exiled myself to the Ever free Forest. How I am still alive is a mystery." Said Charger.

"Well that explains it." Said White.

"Yes, now as I was saying." Said Charger.

*Flash Back*

"Sure thing Tia." I said as we neared the door to the daycare as I felt a disturbance. " Wait."

"What?" Said Celestia.

"I feel a disturbance in the force. Or it might be that burrito I had for breakfast." I said as the mothers of Graze, and Blue arrived.

"Celestia, Charger." Said Blue's mother.

"Ladies." I said as Celestia opened the door to the daycare reveling a scene of mild chaos. Upon seeing the chaos even though it was not much I instinctively looked in the direction of the discord statue.

"Relax Charger." Said Celestia.

"Ah, I take it you are here for your foals?" Said Cadance.

"Yes Cadance we are." Said Celestia "So did anything interesting happen?"

"Not really, other then the foals sorta had a pirate battle, I think they used grapes for cannon balls. Get it grape shot." Said Cadance sheepishly.

"Okay then. SeaBreeze come here." Said Celestia in a soft tone, which made SeaBreeze, start crawling towards Celestia, who when SeaBreeze got near her picked him up and placed him on her back. "It's a shame his aunt does not even know about it."

"Yes it is." I said as the other two mothers picked their foals up.

"Thanks again Cadance." Said Celestia.

"Anytime Aunt Celestia." Said Cadance as Drift ran though the hallway and entered the daycare.

"Private Penning, and Sargent Whiting, are dead a window is broken. There are assassins in the palace!" Said Drift.

"This is horrible." Said Cadance.

"I know." I said. "They owed me 20 Bits apiece, from when I beat them in Uno."

"I told all of the guards I past, we are ready." Said Drift as Graze's, and Blue's fathers arrived at the daycare.

"Tia, Cadance you, the foals, and their mothers get inside the room and barricade the doors. we will stand guard out here." I said as the mare rushed into the daycare.

"Be careful." Said Celestia.

"We will, your highness." The four of us said together as the doors shut.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Said a voice.

"Who's there!?" Shouted Drift.

"The doom of the royal family." Said another voice as three ponies appeared from the shadows. An Earth pony, a unicorn, and a Pegasus.

"Charger guard the door. Do not let them though." Said Drift as he pulled out his sword, and the two other guard followed suit.

"You three think you can stop us?" Said the unicorn.

"We will!" Said Drift.

"Well then, come and get us." Said the earth pony.

"As you wish." Said Drift as he and the other guards rush the assassins. The battle raged for three minutes before a single drop of blood was spilled, it was Drift's.

"Awwwww!" Shouted Drift as he fell to the floor clutching his side, the other two guards formed a a protective circle around him.

"Well it looks like, the mate of the tyrant isn't as powerful as he thought he was." Smirked the unicorn as him and the other assassins circled.

"You wont win that easy!" Said Graze's father slicing at the Pegasus' throat, resulting in the Pegasus falling to the floor dead.

"You may have killed one of us, but we will win." Said the unicorn the him and the earth pony charged the protective circle, swords swinging. They manged to inflict mortal wounds upon the two guards, but now before, the unicorn's horn was sliced off, and the earth knocked out cold.

"Magic or no magic I will still kill the tyrant and her spawn." Said the unicorn as he picked up his sword and charged me with it. I charged him we met in the middle. I was dodging his attacks, while delivering attacks with my hooves.

(It helps if you play This)

"I will never allow the Princess or her son, to be harmed!" I shouted, as I threw a punch at the unicorn's head knocking him out cold.

"Charger." Said Drift weakly

"Drift, are you okay?" I said rushing to his side.

"Charger I am not going to live. I've lost too much blood, but I can die happy knowing that Celestia, and my son are safe." Said Drift, as the door to the daycare slowly opened.

"MEDIC! WE NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!" I shouted as Celestia ran out of the room.

"No, Drift. Not now! Not Now!" Screamed Celestia as a company of guards came rushing over.

"Whats going on?" Said Cadance poking her head out from the door can catching a glimpse at the scene unfolding. "Oh, Celestia."

"Drift please no!" Said Celestia with tears in her eyes, as SeaBreeze slipped though the door and crawled over to his mother's side.

"Dear, please don't cry. I've lived a good live." Said Drift to Celestia, and to SeaBreeze he said. "Son, protect your mother, and know that I have always been proud of you. Goodbye son." Said Drift as he slowly closed his eyes for the last time. Within minutes the other two dying guards said the same thing to their wives, and sons and died as well.

"What the hell took you so long?" I said to a guard.

"Well you see." Said the guard.

"Let me guess, Uno tournament." I said.

"Ya." Said the guard looking down. I saw some of the other guards carrying the the unicorn, and the earth pony to the dungeon. While another group but the other assassin in a body bag.

The funereal was a few days later, there was not a dry eye anywhere, the day was declared a national day of mourning. The assassins were tried later that same day, it brought me joy to see them hanging.

*End Flashback*

"That is the story of how SeaBreeze's father died." Said Charger.

"Thank you, I think I know why SeaBreeze hates me now." Said White as Celestia walked up behind the two.

"I see that the two of you have met." Said Celestia.

"I take it that court has finished." Said Charger.

"Yes it has, now White if you will follow me." Said Celestia.

"Sure." Said White as Celestia lead him to a candle lit room, with two plates of pasta, and a radio.

"Sit down, and let's see how Grey is doing by himself." Said Celestia as she took a seat followed by White who turned the radio on.

*Meanwhile at the radio station, inside the vents*

"Alright, so Blue drops the garlic bomb into the room, and then we bolt. Any questions?" Said SeaBreeze.

"Nope." Said Blue.

"None here." Said Graze.

"Good, now Blue deploy the bomb." Said SeaBreeze as he removed the vent cover.

"Yes sir." Said Blue as he lit the fuse on the cannon ball like bomb, and dropped it into the room.

"Ah, what is that smell?" Said Grey Byte.

"That's what you get for dating my mom!" Shouted SeaBreeze as he and his friends ran away from the scene.

*Meanwhile at the castle*

"Ah, what is that smell?" Said Grey over the radio.

"That's what you get for dating my mother!" Shouted SeaBreeze over the radio.

"Looks like Grey just took a garlic bomb for you." Said Celestia.

"Well, it looks like SeaBreeze really hates me." Said White.

"Well, let's just see if my student and her friends can change his mind." Said Celestia as she began writing a letter.

End of Chapter

(A/N: I suck at writing fight scenes so sorry. I got back from camp this week, and on the third day one of my counselors set his drawer on fire to kill the ants in it, no joke. Also who got the 173, 682 and D-Class references?)

Comments

[Fallen Knight]

Typos here and there.

"I told all of the guards I past, we are ready."
>passed

and "declared a national day of mourning" yet nobody knows about it or why it would be since they dont know Celestia had a mate and son.

Also "No idea how i lived so long" White: "Aha That explains everything". Did he just turn 20% dumber? Use some more descriptions instead of just "BLA BLA BLA" He said "BLA BLA BAL" He#2 said back. Like White rolling his eyes to indicate to us the readers that its sarcasm or something.

Also no idea about the references, and the general lack of respect for death is making me facepalm, even if this is a comedy there is tasteful and not so tasteful comedy

[TFB]

i saw White Noise... now i have to read this...

~Navy