• Member Since 24th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Oct 11th, 2014

superfunnelc


T

After a normal day of being a radio show host, White Noise receives a fan letter asking him out on a date, being the stallion that he is, he accepts only when he arrives at the park, where he was supposed to meet his date he finds out that it is none other then Princess Celestia. However being in a relationship with Celestia comes at a price, and White Noise finds out that price is competing for Celestia's affection with her son, Prince SeaBreeze. Who will prevail Suitor, or Son?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 13 )

1 problem:
CanterLot

Why are you capitalizing the L? it is a single word.

as soon as White teleports away, Grey decides to head home. Great friend, Grey!

edit: it seems White is not so supportive a friend either. *sniff* reminds me of high school

Its a princess Celestia romance story so ill like it for that :rainbowlaugh:

But the "i have a son nobody knows about, suck it up" , meh.

Maybe add a alternate universe tag and a back story explaining it vaguely.

843642 Had a Alt universe, and I explained it

855960

true derped with the tag thing :rainbowlaugh:


But the explanation isn't all that logical, Celestia stopping some reporters stopped all interest in royalty (even the ones that worked in legal ways unless all are scumbags xD)

and the father might be unknown but the death of the father and mate of royalty would generate a lot of interest so it would be at least known he died. And i doubt that Celestia would just let him die without doing something to have him remembered.


Of course that all is flawed because its my view of Celestia so means nothing, all will be depending on what kind of pony you make her. So good luck and will wait for more. :pinkiesmile:

I like how this is going (a good Celestia x OC is always a treat :ajsmug: ) , but the dialogue; man don't take this the wrong way but this fic comes across really dry like reading off a script. If I could get a better interpretation of the ponies' emotions it would be so much more enjoyable :heart:

poor Grey Byte. Never forget when you drop the soap: ignore it, just ignore it.

"A lot of clopping was done that night."

twentypercentcooler.net/data/2b/6c/2b6c887951dac4fa81506ea80ce3c32a.jpg?1319070540

Wheres the comedy tag as a warning for people to not take everything to serious. :rainbowlaugh:

Typos here and there.

"I told all of the guards I past, we are ready."
>passed

and "declared a national day of mourning" yet nobody knows about it or why it would be since they dont know Celestia had a mate and son. :rainbowhuh:

Also "No idea how i lived so long" White: "Aha That explains everything". :rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh: Did he just turn 20% dumber? :rainbowlaugh: Use some more descriptions instead of just "BLA BLA BLA" He said "BLA BLA BAL" He#2 said back. Like White rolling his eyes to indicate to us the readers that its sarcasm or something.

Also no idea about the references, and the general lack of respect for death is making me facepalm, even if this is a comedy there is tasteful and not so tasteful comedy :facehoof:

TFB

i saw White Noise... now i have to read this...

~Navy

he is rather polite for royal.

>royalty?

"Rarity calm down, Twilight was just explaining.

Missed a " at the end.

Besides that, i would say the Elements came to quickly? (My first thought was that the "second" part of this was what lead Celestia to write the letter to Twilight for aid.)

1727656 thanks for pointing those out.

I will be honest the end was my first try at a emotainal scene

Why does this feel like a setup for a compromising situation...

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