• Published 11th Nov 2016
  • 891 Views, 96 Comments

Intriguing - Purple Patch

In the great and perilous metropolis of Canterlot, Fancy Pants and Fleur must foil a nefarious outbreak of corruption together.

  • ...

Chapter 1

“Don’t talk to me about Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants makes me sick!”

Lord Magistrate Nitpick was just able to resist flying into a rage at the mention of his arch-political-rival’s name. He poured himself another glass of whisky as he sat brooding in his armchair in the smoking room of Invitro Hall.

Looks of agreement were thrown his way from many of those present. His litigator and representative, Earwax; his friend and fellow campaigner, Sir Cumbersome Clout; and his two daughters, Monocular and Binocular, sat upon the various chairs and couches, addressing the Lord Magistrate. The only pony in the room who wasn’t looking at him was his wife, the caustic Countess Magnifying Glass, who stood beside the fire, cradling at the poker.

All of them shared his hatred of the current Royal Council Chairstallion. Fancy Pants, in recent months, had caused them no end of humiliation and defamation in the circles of the capital.

“The very idea of that...that...usurper standing above me, a descendent of the ancient line of Speck, is an insult to Canterlot society itself!”

“I couldn’t agree more, your lordship” Earwax toadied, as was his custom “I have no doubt that you will overcome him”

“His sort shouldn’t be allowed in politics!” Sir Cumbersome blustered “They shouldn’t be allowed anywhere! He ought to be shot!”

“I hope somepony gets rid of him and puts daddy in charge!” Monocular sneered.

“Then we’ll able to do whatever we want, as we should be!” Binocular pouted.

“Well then, what do you intend to do about it?!” Countess Magnifying Glass spun round and barked, causing the five complainers to jump in their seats.

There was a pause as their eyes shifted to and fro, waiting for somepony else to speak up first.

The Countess sighed.

“Must I really do all the thinking around here?” she griped “Honestly, the amount of time you magic-damned idiots have spent sitting around saying how much you want to get rid of this irritating stallion, you could’ve actually done it by now!”

“B-but...what do we do, mummy?” Monocular asked.

“Well, I’ll explain it, shall I?” Magnifying Glass said acidly to her offspring “And I’ll word it just like you two, simple as equinely possible!

“Yes, mummy” the sisters mumbled weakly in unison.

“Right then,” The Countess strode to the middle of the room and held the attention of all around her “Ask yourself this, if that’s not too much brainwork for you. Why is Fancy Pants the Royal Canterlot Council Chairstallion?”

Sir Cumbersome gave a derisive noise and answered immediately, puffing on his cigar.

Broagh! It’s thanks to that maudlin, reformist drip of a Chairmare he had for a mother!”

“Alright, let me word it differently since you clearly don’t quite understand” The Countess said flatly “Why is Fancy Pants remaining the Royal Canterlot Council Chairstallion?”

There was another silence as the ponies around her threw clueless glances at one another.

The Countess tutted and answered her own question.

“Because he’s popular!” she snapped “He’s young, he’s accomplished, he’s fashionable, he’s courteous, put simply, husband of mine, he’s everything you aren’t!

“If you say so, dear” Nitpick squeaked.

“And not to mention he can keep his hooves to himself” Magnifying Glass glowered “Regardless, his reputation is his main strength. Ruin that and we ruin him”

“How?” Earwax asked.

“Oh for Tartarus’s sake, Earwax, what sort of lawyer doesn’t know how to pull off a smear campaign?!” The Countess brandished her poker meaningfully.

The Countess had always scared the Glass household and today was no exception. Since her house-arrest six months ago, she had done nothing but brood on the slights inflicted upon her by her niece, by Ponyville’s mayor, by Fancy Pants and by Princess Celestia.

She may have been, ever so slightly, losing her marbles.

“Now listen, there’s got to be something Fancy Pants is weak against,” she began “No pony is untouchable or unstoppable. Celestia’s banishment of her own sister is proof of that, and Fancy Pants is not a greater pony than the Princess...” She pursed her lips.

“Though that’s not saying as much as one would think”

“Ah, my sweet, please...” Nitpick interjected “Take care on how you speak of her highness, I’d like no curses upon my house”

“Shut up, Nitpick, this is my house, not yours” His wife snapped back “Lausenhaus Court was your house, remember? Which you lost to Caesar Dressing in that bet! Remember?!

Nitpick shrunk in his armchair as the Countess gave him a withering glare.

“The day I ask you for advice on showing restraint, my dear husband, is the day my imbecile niece saves Equestria with her wits!”

At the notion, Monocular and Binocular engaged in sardonic laughter, more of out of obedience than anything else.

A look from their mother shut the two up instantly.

“So...ask yourself, what is a pony like Fancy Pants vulnerable to?” She continued.

Her words were met, as she expected, with clueless expressions.

“Well we find out, don’t we!” she answered “There has to be something! That’s why I’m sending over a professional”

There was a pause.

“But I’m here already” Earwax pointed out.

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response” The Countess slowly paced back to the fireplace, turning away from the rest of the household “Regardless, this...contact of mine will get the job done. He’s used to far more perilous scrapes. Spying on a politician is hardly new to him or particularly difficult. He will find something we can use against this slippery, self-righteous do-gooder and gain control. The sooner you’re Chairstallion, Nitpick, the sooner this damn magic field is lifted and I can turn that miserable Ponyville into a wasteland!”

“In the meantime, I have an idea how to boost our chances in the polls, as it were” Sir Cumbersome piped up, a proud grin on his face.

“By all means, speak, old Clout” Nitpick said.

“Well, it’s quite simple” the hulking earth pony explained “The Princess is not allowed, by official conduct, to voice opinions on the Chairstallionship Elections but other royals are exempt from this code”

“Lady Mi Amore Cadenza will never support us” Earwax said gravely “Last I heard, she was quite keen on Carcassonne’s movement”

“It’s not Cadenza I’m talking about, Earwax, I meant somepony else entirely” Cumbersome puffed out his chest “A pony who is descended from the first and most ancient line of unicorn kings. An eligible bachelor and well-known across the social circles”

Blueblood?!” the Countess exclaimed, clearly disappointed with Sir Cumbersome’s idea.

“Well...” Clout lost a lot of his confidence “...he is a royal. And our families contribute profusely to his trust-fund”

“Blueblood is an unparalleled twit!” Magnifying was close to screeching “You’ll lose more votes than you’ll gain with him around!”

“He doesn’t have to support us vocally” Earwax suggested “If we had a mere fraction of his funding, it could cause our popularity to surge, don’t you think?”

“He won’t support us for free!” the Countess shouted him down “And he’s not interested in politics anyway! He’s a layabout! I tell you now, no good can come of getting Prince Blueblood involved!”

“It’s worth a try, darling” Nitpick simpered “He’s often at the Hanoverian in the VIP section. We’ll meet him tomorrow morning and discuss what can be done”

The Countess eyed him as one would an individual who’d told a tasteless joke.

“Fine” she hissed, before pointing the poker at her husband’s nose “But Paradise help you, Nitpick, if he messes this up!”


The train at last came to a stop at the station with a loud but not piercing screech on the rails.

Fleur de Lis had returned to Canterlot.

Carrying her luggage with her magic, as most unicorns did, she made her way outside in tender, dainty steps on her famously long and sleek legs. Making her way through throngs of the arriving and the departing was where Fleur’s characteristic of being unusually tall came in handy, as well as identifying certain individuals. She did so, catching sight of a certain blue-maned, moustachioed and monocled stallion.

She gave a joyous gasp.

“Fancy Pants!”

Catching sight of the gentlecolt who’d stolen her heart, she put another of her unique aspects to use, her slimness, as she raised her luggage above the heads of the ponies around her and galloped out of the crowd. Before she knew it, she was standing, grinning like a fanfilly, in front of Canterlot’s most important stallion.

“Hello again, Fleur”

Fancy Pants was certain he was bearing one of the most goofy-looking smiles known to ponydom as he stood face-to-face before his treasured companion who believed much the same of herself.

Yet to each other, their smiles were as beautiful as Celestia’s sunrise.

“How was your journey?” the gentlecolt managed to say after some amount of time.

“Oh fine”

Both had hoped that conversation would have lead somewhere.

No hope it seemed.

Fancy tried a different tactic.

“Shall I help you get your things home?”

“Um...well...I wouldn’t want you...to...” Fleur began to mumble.

‘Oh shut up, you brainless bimbo!’ A voice in her head hissed ‘Do you want to spend time with him or not?’

“Er...thank you, Fancy” she decided to say at last.

And with that, Fancy took half of Fleur’s bags (some of the heavier ones) and the two made their way to Fleur’s apartment. But not before the stallion whispered one last thing that made time stop for the mare beside him.

“Fleur...I missed you”

Fleur’s apartment was a modest specimen of student or graduate living. Not unpleasant but certainly not luxurious. And it didn’t take particularly long to feel cramped. The mare seemed fond of clothes and her wardrobe was fit to bursting (Though the wardrobe in question wasn’t huge so that could be forgiven). A scrying-orb, a means of information-gathering, social contact and entertainment for unicorns, lay upon a small table. Fancy Pants had known at heart that Fleur was more intelligent than she looked but he was surprised to see so many books on a shelf beside the table. There were the classics, he was pleased to see; Courser, Shaking Spear, Vector Logo, Rein Horsten, Plot Thickens and the like.

Above them were the Singing Snow and Flame Novels, a popular series.

And above them were a row of Neighponese manga and light novels.

The flat’s owner glanced nervously at her guest, who gazed round a moment and spoke.

“Well this is quite cosy”

Fleur gave him a look that suggested she knew he was being kind but appreciated it nonetheless.

“Thank you for helping me. You can just put my things just at the end of the bed, I’ll go through them later”

“Righto” Fancy Pants did so, carefully placing down the luggage.

They spent some amount of time staring at each other.

‘Well?’ Fancy Pants asked himself ‘You’ve been pining for her for six months now. Aren’t you going to say something to that effect?!’

‘Are you new at this or something?’ Fleur’s thoughts snapped ‘He’s in your apartment. Private time. What are you waiting for?!’

They both broke the silence at once with the exact same suggestion.

“Tea at Genial’s?”

They both nodded.

Ironically, now that they were alone together, there seemed to be nothing that made them more uncomfortable.

“One moment” Fleur piped up before having a general rummage through her wardrobe.

She emerged with a blazer and tartan skirt, both burgundy and violet in colour. Fancy raised his eyebrows.

Fleur shrugged, blushing.

“I just thought...” she explained timidly “With you in your jacket and all, I thought I might wear something so as to not look...well...”

“Naked?” the gentlecolt put forward.

“I was going to say unpresentable but I suppose that works too. My old college uniform, you understand”

“Yes, yes, I...I noticed that. Very well, my dear Fleur. If you so wish, I should not object. Shall we...?” He gracefully held the door open as Fleur walked beside him, dressed in the blazer and skirt of a college graduate.

Exiting the apartment complex, and taking a quiet street to Genial’s Cafe, the presence of a photographer in the high floor of a building opposite went completely unnoticed by the enamoured couple.

‘Well, would you look at that’ He chuckled at the sight of the mare’s garb, taking several shots of the couple on a high-resolution camera.

‘Who’s a naughty pony then?’


Conkers, Blueblood’s butler, chauffeur and bodyguard was an intimidating pony, a hulking, shaggy rust-red-coated pegasus with a spiky blonde and ginger mane and a trailing, bushy tail. To assume he’d once been a Wonderbolt wouldn’t have been out of the question.

Lord Nitpick and Sir Cumbersome found themselves cowering at the sight of him as they showed him their passes and were led to the VIP section of the infamous Hanoverian Club, a haven for eccentric and irresponsible aristocrats to waste unwise quantities of bits upon the baser sort of luxuries.

Blueblood could often be found here in the mornings, having likely spent the night.

“Your royal highness”

A particularly unfortunate feature about Conkers was his voice. High-pitched and squeaky, it didn’t match his character. He didn’t enjoy speaking but often, his employer would make him do so anyway. Blueblood saw it as a means of preventing his servant from getting above himself.

“Yes, Conkers? What is it now?” The Prince’s voice asked slightly sleepily.

“Lord Magistrate Nitpick and Sir Cumbersome Clout request an audience”

“Oh very well, let them in”

Conkers gestured to his employer’s room and the two visitors were led inside.

Prince Blueblood reclined upon a chaise longue that would have been low if not for the mounds of cushions surrounding him and his two acquaintances. Upon each of his knees was a young mare. One was a pink-coated earth pony with a mane of gold and chestnut tumbling down her neck while the other was a tall unicorn, jet-black with silver-mane that hung straight in beaded braids. Both were scantily-clad while Blueblood was wearing a white dressing gown with gilded accents.

Nitpick took a moment to gawk at the two before Sir Cumbersome cleared his throat and brought his friend back to his senses.

“Welcome, dear sirs” he declared. He was clearly quite drunk “Please sit down”

The only available seats were two hoofstools before the Prince. Swallowing their pride, Nitpick and Sir Cumbersome sat upon them.

“Your highness...” Nitpick began in a fawning manner he usually reserved for his wife or the Princess.

Royal highness, if you please” Blueblood interjected. The mares beside him giggled.

Nitpick gave a fractious sigh whilst Sir Cumbersome muttered under his breath but they remained courteous.

“Your royal highness...I have a proposition for you”

“Well, I hope it’s more cocktails else you might make me a little disappointed” He gave them a meaningful look.

Nitpick subtly seethed and threw Conkers several bits.

“Cocktails, please, for his royal highness...and ourselves”

“Lord Nitpick, where are your manners?” Blueblood butted in “Have you forgotten about my little treasures here?” He massaged their necks with his hooves “They’ve had a long night and deserve a few libations, don’t you think”

Grumbling, Nitpick forked over a few hoof-fuls more of his money and the Prince’s attendant gave a small smile, bowed and departed.

“On that matter, allow me to introduce you” the Prince chortled, his hoof under the pink mare’s chin.

“This is...sorry, what was your name again?”

“Fragrant Magnolia” the pink mare pouted.

“Right, right, thought so. She’s an artist, this one, skilled in song and dance...and many other things” He turned to the black mare “And this is...now I remember this one...” He trailed off.

“Silvanberry” the black mare said for him.

“There you have it. She’s from Mareakkesh. If half the Mareoccan mares are as pretty as her, I’m thinking of spending some time over there”

He gave a grin he must have thought looked charming and the two mares kissed him on both cheeks.

“Cocktails, your royal highness” Conkers re-emerged with a set of classy cocktails upon a silver tray.

“Ah, good stallion” Blueblood took his drink eagerly and threw his valet a few bits “Here, buy yourself a cider, why don’t you?”

The ginger pegasus bowed gratefully and left. Working for Blueblood had its perks. The prince was demanding and arrogant by nature but he could be generous to those who serviced him well, a trait that made him well-sought after in Canterlot society.

The reason Nitpick and Cumbersome were meeting him, no doubt.

Blueblood toasted his glass with his female companions, drank and turned back to his visitors.

“So gentlecolts,” he began “How may I entertain you?”

“Well, let me explain” Nitpick said “As you may be aware, I am currently running for Chairstallion of the Royal Canterlot Council”

“Lord Nitpick” Blueblood scoffed “I’m going to need a lot more drinks before I’m ready to talk about politics

“No, no, your high-royal...highness...ahem...I simply want some amount of...well...assistance...from you...so to speak”

“I’m watching those hooves, sir” the prince snapped as Fragrant Magnolia drew back from the Lord Magistrate’s hoof, too close to her back-leg than she was comfortable with. Blueblood placed a hoof on her shoulder and spoke to Nitpick in a severe manner.

“Do not think of distressing these mares, I will not permit it”

“F-forgive me, your royal highness. I...what I mean is...”

“Our opponent is causing us some amount of trouble” Cumbersome finished his friend’s sentence.

“Carcassonne?” Blueblood asked “Oh, that young prude had some rather tactless things to say about me...and my sweet companions”

“She was so mean” Fragrant Magnolia whined, sidling up to the prince’s chest.

“Probably just jealous” Silvanberry snorted, massaging the prince’s shoulder.

“It’s not Carcassonne we speak of, she’s...no longer a problem” Nitpick continued “I speak of the current Chairstallion, who stands to assume a third term in office”

What?!” Blueblood’s tone grew incensed in a moment “But...he can’t do that!”

“Oh, I entirely agree but the stallion will simply not be reasoned with”

Blueblood sat back and fumed.

“That moustached moron has given me nothing but grief since he assumed office!” he snarled “Removing privilege after privilege, lecturing me in the royal court, rattling on about ‘merit’ and ‘equity’ and ‘populism’! He turns his nose up at me every time we cross! He dares to call me a layabout!

“Good gracious...” Nitpick tried his hardest to look shocked “The...the very idea...how...how unseemly of him”

“Indeed...most vexatious!” Cumbersome made an attempt to bluster “Nothing could be farther from the truth”

“Right, that’s exactly what I said!” Blueblood sneered “I told my aunt he was trouble but would she listen?! Nooooo! No, she likes this crackpot and his feckless ideals and where does that leave me?!” He slumped back in his couch as the two mares rushed to relax him.

“I was so looking forward to seeing the back of him this year” he groaned.

“Well, you might yet get the chance” Nitpick said, positively snapping to confidence “It is our intention to thwart this buffoon and put him in his place for good”

Blueblood raised one eyebrow.

“Intriguing...I’m listening”

“You are equal to Chairstallion Fancy Pants in reputation and superior in position by royal lineage” the Lord Magistrate stated “If you were to...show him up, as it were...cause quite a scene...perhaps even provoke him into aggravation...it would further our cause quite significantly. And once he was out of the picture, I would be voted Chairstallion” Nitpick brought himself up smugly.

“Now, your royal highness, I am a traditional stallion. I have always believed in the divine right and ancestral privilege of the elite in Canterlot. Under my jurisdiction, you shall never have to suffer rebuttal or chastisement as if you were a foal. You, Prince Blueblood, would be as highly revered as the ancient kings you are descended from”

A smile played on the Prince’s lips as he took a sip of his cocktail and spoke, his diamond-blue eyes gleaming.

“Go on...”


Genial’s was a small but trendy cafe just outside of the square. Couples often went there, particularly the clandestine kind.

Fancy and Fleur were led to an outdoor table by a kindly, old waitress who set off to prepare them tea the instant they sat down.

Genial’s was one of the many eatery chains owned by Grand Duke Caesar Dressing, a business partner of Fancy Pants. Fancy and Caesar’s son, Thousand Island, had been classmates.

As such, Fancy often got a discount and could ensure the same for Fleur.

“Um...do you like it?” Fleur asked “The outfit, I mean?”

“Oh yes, of course” the gentlecolt said, adjusting his monocle “I’m just a little concerned you might be getting a little overanxious”

“Don’t be like that, Fancy. Think about it” the mare sighed somewhat forlornly “There’s you, Fancy Pants, a stallion who everypony from here to Fillydelphia knows by name and face, always well-dressed and easy to spot in a crowd, as I demonstrated at the station. I just wouldn’t feel right not at least trying to make an effort. I don’t want ponies to think I’m wasting your time”

“Fleur” Fancy held her hoof “Whatever you feel comfortable with is fine by me but never think it’s a must. These clothes I wear, I wear because I enjoy wearing them. If you enjoy wearing shirts or skirts or nothing at all, I would not object. You are your own pony, as I am”

“Th-th-thank you” Fleur couldn’t help but stammer, fumbling idly at the menu.

“Here we are, dearies” The waitress returned with steaming cups of tea. The milk and sugar was already set upon the table for them to add at their leisure.

“Thank you, my good mare” Fancy said “The bread and butter pudding for me, I think, please. And for you, Fleur?”

Fleur took a moment to think. Her model’s diet hadn’t been overly hard for her to adjust to but she made sure to be careful.

“The fruit and granola yogurt sundae please”

The waitress nodded and retreated inside.

“You know, I still have the dress” Fancy broke the silence.

“The...my gala dress?”

“Yes, remember. You left it with me for safe-keeping. It looked...magnificent on you, I have to say. And I wouldn’t mind if you wished to wear it more often”

“No, no, Fancy” Fleur said, blushing “I couldn’t wear something as fine and expensive as that for daywear. The gala was a special occasion and...I’m very grateful you bought it for me. I wish I could repay you somehow”

“No repayment necessary, my dear. Your company that evening was more than worth the expense”

Fleur stifled a touched giggle.

“I’m glad we could spend that evening together”

“You kissed me”


“At the gala” Fancy Pants explained in a tone he was trying to keep frank.

“Oh yes...yes I did...” Fleur brushed her mane idly “Sorry”

“Sorry?” Fancy’s moustaches danced on his upper lip as he chuckled “My dear girl, what reason have you to be sorry?”

“Well I...” Fleur decided she needed to stop pausing awkwardly between sentences “I just feel like sometimes I’m taking too many liberties with you”

“Not at all, darling” Fancy’s gaze was causing her heart to flutter in her chest.

“I say, Fancy!” A stallion’s voice from inside the cafe beckoned to the gentlecolt. A young light grey pony with a sand-yellow neckerchief and gold-rimmed glasses was hailing him.

“Well bless my soul, it’s old Thousand Island himself” Fancy Pants got to his hooves “One moment, Fleur, I’ll be right back”

Before he went inside, he gave the mare a gentle kiss on the cheek as she had done six months ago at the gala.

‘What a shot’ the photographer murmured.

For a moment, the mare was completely still and silent.

‘He Kissed Me!’ A Pinkie Pie Party kicked off in her mind.

She was glad to have the privacy required to be able to break into a bout of girlish giggles, tapping her hooves upon the ground excitedly.

She stopped a moment.

He had kissed her.

She had no idea whether it was too late or soon. What exactly was their relationship? Were they more than friends? She had always hoped so but now that it seemed he felt the same way did that mean she had to try harder to earn his affections or not as hard?

After the gala they’d departed as firm friends. Fancy had kissed her on the hoof as she arrived and when she left but she had kissed him on the cheek. Throughout that evening and the next day they spent together, part of her would have given everything for that kiss to be returned. The other part felt almost scared of that kiss, as if it would drag her into a place she had no idea how to escape or continue from.

Were they in love?

Or were they only trying to be in love?

She composed herself and decided.

Either way, it was nice.


She raised her head, expecting to see Fancy Pants returned to his chair.

Instead she was looking at somepony quite different.

An old schoolmate.

And not a fondly remembered one.

She spoke his name with distinct distaste.


“Well now, this is a pleasant surprise” the prince said, suavely, as he sat down.

Surprise is right. Not so sure about the part before that” the mare sneered.

“Come now, Fleur, is that any way to treat a dear friend?”

“Friend?!” She snarled “You laughed and mocked me like the rest of them! What was that name you had for me? Bleurgh de Lis?!

She caught sight of him sniggering at his own joke. It earned him a hateful glare.

“Well...” he said defensively “You did spend a lot of time being sick”

“I had a disorder!” It was all she could do not to scream as memories of her early school-life invaded her mind, nearly bringing tears to her eyes.

The prince shrugged.

“Well that was all in the past. We were foals, Fleur. We grew out of it”

“And what you grew into, Blueblood, was nearly twice as unbearable”

“Don’t be like that, Fleur darling” He leaned forward “I know you’ve always secretly had feelings for me?”

Feelings?!” she seethed “I couldn’t stand you, you creep! I still can’t stand you! When I ever said otherwise?!”

Blueblood didn’t seem put-off.

“Your eyes have always said what your mouth could not” he said, relaxing in Fancy’s chair.

“Well perhaps it’s time my mouth said what my eyes have not!” She made to rise.

“Not so fast, Fleur” He put a hoof on that of Fleur’s who pulled it away with revulsion “I’m worried about you”

“Oh really?” She didn’t sound particularly convinced.

Blueblood folded his forelegs and asked the mare a question.

“Is it true you’re seeing Fancy Pants?”

“I hardly see how that’s any of your business”

“It might be” he said, smirking “I imagine you’re interested in his...how shall we say...perks...financial-wise”

“Are you trying to say-”

Blueblood cut off her indignant response.

“Well you’re riding the wrong stallion, I’m afraid. Fancy’s finished, my dear. You’d better jump reins while you still can”

Fleur gave a derisive laugh.

“Oh, and what do you base those conclusions on?” she snapped.

“Fancy’s made enemies” Blueblood’s relaxed tone did not change “And it’ll cost him dearly. He’s only rich and powerful while circumstances allow it. And that’ll end very soon, trust me. I have reliable sources”

“I honestly don’t believe this” Fleur shook her head derisively “You’re trying to scare me away from Fancy Pants?!”

“I'm just trying to help” Blueblood flashed her a smile “Besides, if its money you’re concerned about, a word from me will have you swimming in the stuff”

“Get out of here” Fleur glowered at the prince, her voice dripping with spite.

“Fleur, don’t be like this”

“Get out!”

“Fleur don’t be an idiot” His tone became harsh “I am simply trying to-”

“Excuse me?”

Blueblood rolled his eyes and snapped his head around to face the newcomer.

“What do you want?!”

In the next instant, Blueblood found himself hurled with great force upon the sidewalk as Fancy Pants stood over him, glaring daggers through his monocle.

“She you asked to get out, sir” he said in a tranquil manner that only heightened his daunting image “I suggest out you should get

“You...wha...” he stammered, struggling to his feet “Don’t you know who I am?!”

“Everypony in Canterlot knows exactly what you are, Blueblood” the gentlecolt answered with disdain.

Prince Blueblood!” the golden-maned stallion snarled “You will address me as Prince Blueblood!”

“I will call you by that name, Blueblood, once you’ve earned it. So far you have done nothing of the sort”

“I...you...” the younger stallion was turning red in the face “You think you can get away with this? I’m a royal! I’ll have you-”

“That’s quite enough of your nonsense, young stallion” A hoop of golden magic shut the prince’s mouth tight as Fancy turned his back to him, his horn glowing “You will head home and wash your suit, you look very untidy. And this had better be the very last time I see you giving this young mare any grief. Is that understood?”

The magic dissipated and the prince fell to one knee, regaining his breath before scowling furiously at the Chairstallion.

“You’ll regret this, Fancy Pants” he seethed.

“I said enough!” Another gust of golden magic clipped the prince’s fetlocks, sending him sprawling on the pavement once more.

Regretting leaving Conkers at his suite, Blueblood retreated, muttering a string of unpleasantries involving Fancy’s voice, his mother, his private areas and what they took part in, day-to-day.

Fancy returned to his seat, adjusting his collar and monocle nonchalantly, met with a face on Fleur de Lis so stunned one would think she’d seen Laurelore and Discord fly in, dance the can-can then fly out.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, my dear” he said “I simply couldn’t allow that oafish colt to distress you in such a way”

“No, no, it’s...it’s...” Fleur cursed her imagination. Months of reading romance novels and she couldn’t sufficiently praise her hero.

They both turned to their side and took notice of the waitress, carrying a tray of their chosen refreshments which rattled on one hoof as she stared, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

“Ah...allow me” Fancy set the tray down on the table “I deeply apologise for the commotion, madam. I assure you, it won’t happen again”

“Oh, it’s alright” the waitress managed to say breathlessly “Just so long as it’s over”

Before she departed, she leaned over and whispered subtly to Fleur as Fancy set about pouring them fresh cups of tea.

“You’ve got a fine stallion there, young miss. A fine stallion indeed”


“I want him punished! Do you hear?!”

Prince Blueblood was giving Countess Magnifying Glass a run for her money in ranting as he, Lord Nitpick, Sir Cumbersome and Earwax brooded in the Lord Magistrate’s study.

“So he assaulted you?” Sir Cumbersome asked.


“And mocked you to your face?”


“And interrupted your conversation?”

“Yes! I just told you!”

Nitpick nodded, hunched over his desk in thought.

“Most extraordinary” he murmured “Have you got that, Earwax?”

“I have indeed, sir” the lawyer answered, writing down the details as Blueblood described.

“I can have these either sent to the journalists, or the courts”

“Do both!” Blueblood barked “He’s not going to get away with this! He’s gone too far!

“Who was this mare you were talking to?” Earwax piped up “We’ll need witnesses and with proper encouragement she can tell the story our way”

“An old friend” the prince said “A unicorn mare called Fleur de Lis”

There was a pause.

Earwax glanced around uneasily while Sir Cumbersome and Lord Nitpick wore looks of grim recollection.

“What?” Blueblood asked anypony who’d answer.

“I’ve heard that name before” Nitpick said, his voice becoming a growl.

Sir Cumbersome gripped the arms of the chair as he remembered.

“That mare at the theatre” he hissed.

Blueblood was clueless.

“What theatre? What happened? What’s going on?”

“Your royal highness...” Nitpick interjected, raising a hoof. He lit a lamp at his desk, bathing his face in a glow.

Blueblood saw a very unfamiliar expression emerge in his face. Normally he looked either smug, stuck-up and overconfident or fearful, fawning and sycophantic.

Now his face was neither.

It was calm.



“Prince Blueblood” he said, his voice dripping with a hunger for retribution “Here’s what we’d like you to do...”

Author's Note:

So yeah...things are going to get dicey.
I wanted to test how much characters hate my OC villains when I add a canon character everyone already hates into the mix.
Though Blueblood may surprise you later.
There's a few Nicholas Nickleby references here and there. It's a good book and made a good film.
And Conkers is a reference to Conker's Bad Fur Day. Don't mess with him.
Hope you enjoy the story so far and please leave comments if you can. :pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile::pinkiesmile: