The Time Mishap: A History of Ponies

by Regidar

Life's a Party

Chapter 5: Life's a Party

Pinkie Pie awoke to find herself in a trench, being stepped on by a large amount of troops.

Pulling herself out of the mud, she poked her head out of the trench, and took a good look around. Explosions, death, and destruction reined.

Suddenly, her face became absurdly manly, and she spoke in a grave, gravelly voice.

"Reminds me of the ;nam. Terrible, terrible place. Well, only one thing to do.."

Pinkie Pie reached for the weapon of mass destruction she had next to her.

"HAVE A PARTY!" she yelled happily as she pulled out her party cannon.

"You do realize we're in the middle of a war zone," a nearby allied soldier pointed out.

"I'm not sure if you're clear on the concept. PARTY!"

A party cannon blast sent the allied soldier flying off to parts unknown.

"No! Sergeant Kenny! You killed him, you basta-" Another well placed shot eliminated the whiner.

The Germans were advancing, but Pinkie would have none of this.

"PARTY!"

Bang.

"PART-AY!"

Bang.

"PERTY!"

Squelch.

"PAR- wait, did it just go squelch?"

Pinky looked back to see a nazi soldier suffocating in hot pastry batter.

"Help! I have a family!"

Pinky Pie looked over at the mound with the nazil soldier embedded in it, and ran over and clkeared the dough from his face.

"Thank you! Trust me, I vill-"

Then she ate his face.

"Sorry, life's a party! You just lost your invitation!" Pinky grinned maniacally while her eyes derped. A nearby soldier who witnessed this had only one thing to say.

"I just shit myself."

Pinky continued her party slaughter straight on to Berlin. This took several months, and by the time she reached there, she had "partied" over 15 billion people.

Um, actually, there are only around 200 million people in europe-

Shut up! Who's writing the story here?

Anyway, Pinky Pie reached Berlin.

"Alright, everpony, take me to your leader or I'll party your face off!"

A soldier ran over to her and tried to shoot her, but she stuck her hoof through his chest, ripped out his heart, and shot the party cannon into his face.

"Ok, yah, ve take you to Hitlar now."

Pinky was deposited to Hitler outside of Berlin in his secret bunker, where she really hit it off with him and his wife.

"Oh, Hitler, you ain't that bad!" Pinky said, laughing.

"Yah, Pinky, und even though you killed 15 billion of my men, you are still an uber riot!" Hitler laughed and slapped her on the back.

"Oh hey, you wanna play a fun game?" Pinky said, pulling out Monopoly.

10 minutes later, Pinky left the Bunker with a time travel device, and Hitler's and Hitler's wife's decapitated heads under her arms. As she got onto the time travel device, she gave all the citizens of Berlin some sound advice.

"Always let Pinky get Park Place."

Comments

[Ponaygurl]

PINCHY?!?!?!?!? I NEED A WAT!

ok.

img.ponibooru.org/_images/ed0ca4a38c28249ee247b1416e46c68e/57144%20-%20coin%20pinchy%20transparent%20tumblr.png

[totallynotaunicorn]

Disemboweling is pulling someone's intestines out.
Decapitation is cutting someone's head off.
ex: "...carrying Hitler's and his wife's decapitated heads..."

[Regidar]

835875 Thanks for that!
I'm slightly stupid, so I missed that

835817 I don't... what?

[Ponaygurl]

836030 I think you spelled (spelt?) it wrong. It's wat.
This was just such a wat-deserving story - had nothing better to say.

[Regidar]

836040 Why sure! Wat it is then^^ and I'm glad it wasn't "terrible" in your eyes.

And remember to comment once you find out what band it is! You may earn something in the process!

[Ponaygurl]

836050 See my Chapter One/Prologue question.

[Snug-Brony]

Why do I keep reading these? And why are they so entertaining?