It takes six keys too open my heart.

by Darkjolly

Why did this happen? (Revised)

It's the year 3020, and Earth was ravaged. Buildings toppled down, trees uprooted, everything was a barren wasteland. There was no life left on the planet, the only thing moving was the rolling waves of the blood red ocean and..me. I pushed open the door of my pod , I still couldn't believe I survived and with only minor injuries . I stood up and winced slighty as I felt the sharp sting of my bad left leg, the last explosion really shook me in the pod.

I grabbed my nano metal backpack and looked up at the sky to see the position of the sun, it was starting too set so I guessed it was around 5:00pm. I started to walk forward, I needed to find water and shelter If I was to survive. I can't believe this is happening, one day I'm having a picnic with my family, the next I'm fighting for my life I thought. I continued my pace slowly as a flash back came.
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2 days ago

''Come on Brother, Dad and Mom are waiting for us on top of the hill!'' My little sister yelled as she was ascending the steep hill

" Take it easy Jessie. Mom,Dad and the rest aint going anywhere'' I calmly said. Jessie as any kid was hyperactive and uncontrollable, even though she looked mature for her age she still acted like her age, an 8 year old. She had long black hair, brown eyes and light brown skin, she was pretty tall for her age much too her liking since it made it easier for her to player her favourite sport, volleyball. Though we were at each others necks many times, I really loved my sister and would always protect her from bully's.

''Blasted sun, Blasted mosquitos'' I moaned as I started slapping the insects off my arm. Dont get me wrong I enjoy sunshine every once In a while, but I'm more of a rainy person. After a few minutes of trepping and I reached the top of the hill to see the lovely sight of my whole family and friends. Some where Laughing, others eating and some chatting. I was lucky too have such kind, loving people be called my family and friends.

I started walking towards my Dad, As I got closer he looked at my with a grin on his face

"There you are, you sloth. I was wondering If you were even going to get off bed today'' He chuckled.

''Well It aint easy when your whole body gets stiff the day after a full blown workout'' I responded. We both started laughing, my Mum scooted too my side and gave me a hug.

"My little boys, is all mature and grown up'' She said with a baby voice. I gave a deep sigh

''Mom, Stop that I'm nearly 20 years old'' but she continued

''Nonsense, your still just a kid'' as she continued to hug me.

The day passed rather quickly as dusk started to appear. My family started packing up to leave. My farther was putting in the dirty plates in a plastic bag, when he saw me leaning next to a tree, looking at the sky. He approached me ''whats wrong my son?'' I glanced back at him with a small smile on my face.

''I was just thinking'' as I looked back up at the orange sky

''Uh oh, that can't be good'' my father mocked and we both chortled. ''No but seriously what on your mind?'' He said

I sighed '' Sometimes I feel that something is out there, in space that wants to do harm to us and I get scared cause I know I will be powerless to protect my family'' I said with a hint of sadness in my voice.

My Dad rested his hand on my shoulder ''Son, We will always stick together, Nothing can break our walls of love'' He smiled and went back too cleaning up the picnic. He right, Nothing can separate us I thought as walked down too my car and drove back too my home. Once I got home, I made myself dinner and went to sleep early. Tommorow will be a good day I thought as slowly fell into slumber.
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''OPEN THE DOOR!!!''

A sudden shout awoke me. ''What the hell'' I mumbled as I looked at my clock, it read 4:00am. "Who the hell would be shouting at 4:00 am'' I said as I walked slowly towards the door.

''HURRY UP AND OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR'' The booming voice continued. '

'Im going, im going'' I mumbled pissed off that someone had no manners. When I opened the door I was greeted by a bunch of FBI agents and Royal Marines. ''Uh, what?'' I said with a bit of nervousness in my voice, It's not everyday the best soldiers and government police knock on your door before dawn.

''Your Charles jolly, correct?'' The head guy asked in a gruff way. I simply nodded and before I knew it I was being dragged out my home.

''WOAH, Hold it bud, you can't just drag me out of my home like that'' I said with bitterness in my voice.

''Listen here, Kid We need to get you sorry ass to safety before the Vaskah kil...'' but before the head guy could finished a huge explosion sounded off not too far away.

''W-w-w-what w-was t-t-that!?'' I screamed with terror, I then looked back to the head guy

''Dammit they're moving like wildfire'' The captain said in a stern voice as he picked up a radio "Regiment 47 and 82 move forward and intercept the enemy'' the captain shouted his command. '' You guys get the kid to the plasma survival bunker NOW! We don't have much time left'' The head guy shouted. The two soldiers nodded and picked me up much to my dislike, First they drag me out my house, now they manhandle me I thought.

The soldiers reached a bunker a mile from my house, It was camo hidden using some type of plasma technology. When we entered my family was there, I saw fear in their eyes but they were quickly replaced by sadness when they saw me. My Mom, Dad and Jessie ran too me and gave me a deep hug. The hug lasted a long time till the soldier coughed and said ''Alright time to break up, The kid need to get in the pod now before the reckoning begins''. My parents nodded and tears started falling down their face.

''Wait, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? Whats the Reckoning? What was that explosion? Why are my parents crying?'' I asked angrily.

The soldier sighed and said ''Im so sorry kid, in the pod theirs everything you need to survive the aftermath. It's in the nano metal backpack''. "Nano metal?'' I asked confused. The guard nodded ''In the backpack theirs a powerful data archive holding every single thing that humanity has made or done. From the garden of Eden to the end of humanity. Theirs also a Nano titanium armor in the pack, strongest armor humanity has ever made, it can self repair itself and it contains little machines called negels that are very effective at repairing your tissues and organs.

I didn't hear anything after the soldier said end of humanity.

"T-The worlds ending!?!!'' I stammered with fear. I looked at my parents and too my surprise they were smiling.

''Yes my son, it is. You were the chosen one to avoid this unavoidable destiny'' My father said quietly. '

'B-B-BUT YOU SAID WE WOULD STAND TOGETHER!'' I shouted as tears began to fall down my cheeks. ''We will always be by you side,Charles'' Mother said with a determined look in her eyes ''We will always stand toghether''. I was not having any of it

"NO, THERES ROOM FOR ALL OF US, WE CAN SQUEEZE IN'' My voice continued booming but my parents chuckled. '
'Oh my boy, still stubborn as a mule but this has been decided for years'' Dad said. My eyes went wide open like two full moons

''Years!?, You hid this from me for YEARS, BUT WH-''

CRACKKA BOOOOOOOOOOM!

As sudden violent explosion cut my voice off and the sky went from black too extremely pale white. I felt my self being pushed violently into the pod as the light came closer. The last thing I heard was Jessie saying ''Big brother, don't let our deaths shut you heart'' before I blacked out.
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Authors notes:

My first fic, So feel free to criticise construvtively, So I can improve. :)

Comments

[misguidedbrick]

Utter sadness clouds my heart as i read the first chapter.

[RaptorJesus]

That's...weird. And it needs some grammar checking.
But having a futuristic setting is kinda new, so I'll keep an eye on this story. It wouldn't be the first time I'm wrong :p

[hiddenisbeastmo]

nice keep these up plese

[Rezonate]

You really need an editor for the sake of grammer. But other than that it seems like a pretty good story.

[Book644]

me like how this is going, fav

[American_agent12]

Wow, that's quite a chapter, it's sad and kinda depressing which is good meaning you've made the reader feel, update soon

[Boolyboo]

Damn, dis is some good shit bro.
here is a wrong i your script: he right (It should be he's right")
Realy good though.

Will we learn more why he was the chosen one?
Will the pod place all the data in his mind now or will he only have the data base? (I mean will the data about everything about earth go into his mind or does he only have the date base as for all the info?
He didn't get any weapon. Maybe it is like Crysis and you have super powers when using the nano-suit.
Well he didn't get any weapons like a gun or a knife, only his fists.
Will those negels be able to be used as a weapons as well?
Did he get a Tap-pad (I mean did he get something like the pip-boy)?
All these questions will be answer in the next chapter (I hope)

[High_Wind]

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[Slip Kid]

Only one problem for me, you seem to be confusing the use of "to" with "too". For example:

I'm going to the shop, or, I need to go.
Too is used like this: there's too many trees or;I'll go too

[TheMyth]

So the Earth turns into a post-apocalyptic zone... and he later gets sent to Equestria and meets the Mane 6 (which one he falls in love with... my bet goes to Applejack ).... I'll track this

[High_Wind]

826864
Really I just hope that it doesn't fall into the beaten path of Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, or Twilight. I mean I can understand why these particular three end up being the love interest so often. Like how everpony loves how adorable Flutters is and she would obviously tend to the "strange new animal that needs help," or Dashie being the cool tomboy with a hidden sensitive side the Protagonist brings out, and don't get me started on Twilight's "more than a new research project." All good reasons, all beloved ponies, but it's becoming a little stale. So here's hoping it isn't one of the big 3 in the romance tags, if nothing more than for fresh ideas.

[Mawxter]

There are three things I have seen wrong so far:
1. You keep using 'too' at the wrong time. Each time you have used it, it should only be 'to'.

2. (This one really isn't too important) When doing quotes, use the quotation marks, not two apostrophes. It may appear normal for the first two available fonts (Serif, and Sand-Serif), but for the Monospace font, it puts a space between the two marks.

3. When you use dialogue, every time a different person speaks, you should start a new paragraph. Example:

"Dad, I'm going to the store." shouted Mike. "For what?" Dad replied. "Groceries." said Mike.

It should be like:

"Dad, I'm going to the store." shouted Mike.
"For what?" Dad replied.
"Groceries." said Mike.

It just makes it a little easier to determine who is speaking when you split up the dialogue.
Besides that, there are a couple random spelling and grammar errors. Trying to get a pre-reader would be a good idea.
Anyways, it really isn't bad, especially for a first fic. keep it up and I hope this helps you later

[kragor]

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