The Power Within
written by Shimmering Thunder
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7939360 I see
Great twist of the plot, now the adventure can begin
I like how detailed you made Nurse Redheart. At first I was afraid of the relationship that was building up between her and Shimmering, but now I feel it's fully justified.
Grammar-wise, mostly tense related issues again, especially the last chapter.
7942275 Thank you! I'm quite happy with her as well. To be honest, It's one of my favorite things on the story so far and I enjoy writing her. Hopefully I can get back to drawing board soon.
Yeah, I'll practice those tenses from now on and try to learn something in the process.
7945269 You're welcome
Basically just remember to keep all the 'action' verbs in one form.