The next day, Ulquiorra opened his eyes, and felt… something.
This was indigestion, brought on by too much delicious cake. How much had he eaten last night?
Last night…
Did he really drink hot sauce? Did he really pin his sword on his own backside somehow? There was too much to remember, as he was currently in the tree house.
“Oh, hey! You’re awake!”
You are too bright for this morning.
“So, uh… Ulquiorra, what is that thing you’re holding?”
“This is my Zanpacto, Murciélago. It is not a toy.”
“Anyway, I think you need a change of clothes. They got pretty stained last night.”
Ulquiorra looked at his clothes. They’d been dyed brown by chocolate, with red splotches from the hot-sauce.
“I think that would be a good idea.”
“Carousel Boutique… This is where I can wash my clothes?”
“You’ll get your clothes washed here, alright.”
Entering the gaudy, glittery building, a white unicorn with an elegantly curled mane walked out to greet them.
“Oh, hello Twili- GASP!”
Ulquiorra looked on dispassionately as this ‘Rarity’ pulled a couch towards her, and collapsed on top of it.
“Such a NOVEL combination of colours! Even if messes create it, it is still so chic! Oh, THANK you, Mr Ulquiorra! Now,” she gathered and composed herself, “can I help you?”
By the time the… events of the measurements for new clothes were over, Ulquiorra felt unchanged. He was staring at Opalescence, Rarity’s pet cat.
“…She’s been getting ever so moody, Twilight! Fighting dogs, other cats- it’s a miracle she isn’t dead.”
Suddenly, Ulquiorra realized what was bothering him about the white cat. It looked at him with a certain look in its eye. One only possessed by one piece of trash.
This isn’t possible. But it is…
Ulquiorra walked over to Opalescence, and looked at the cat. Twilight could have sworn he was shaking. Rarity looked at him warily.
‘What are you doing?”
Ulquiorra touched the cat.
I’m free now, suckers!
What-
Opalescence was slowly floating in the air, with a cocky smirk on its face. Waves of yellow and blue magic rolled off the smirking cat, forming an orb around the pampered, aggressive cat. Opalescence slowly glowed a pure, blinding white.
With a flash, the light disappeared, revealing…
Opalescence, in the exact same position on the floor.
“Um, big sis? I think that Opalescence magically transformed into Opalescence. That’s lame.”
“AH-HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! AH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH! I’m back! My power has returned!”
Turning in the direction of the voice, they saw another creature.
This one was even taller than Ulquiorra- at least a full head taller. It wore the same pants, had the same black and white hooves, and had the same sash, but everything else was different. Its jacket was much shorter, ending at halfway down its heavily muscled chest. It had long sleeves, but they were rolled up. The creature had, rather than a bone half-helmet on its head, a half-jawbone on the right side of the lower half of its face. Its mane was a wild, electric blue, and it stuck up in a very similar fashion to Opalescence’s tuft. Its bright blue eyes sparkled with sadism and a cruel laughter, and he had what looked like teal make-up around the far corners of his eyes. The most interesting feature of his body was the large hole in his stomach. It seemed to be wholly natural for him- he didn’t seem to be suffering, and it looked fully healed.
“Hey, Ulquiorra! I’ve got one thing to say to your ugly face!” He launched himself at Ulquiorra, who for his part looked bored. That huge smirk on his face had barely moved.
He hugged Ulquiorra in a tackle to the ground.
“THANK YOU! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH! THAT WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE THREE DAYS OF MY LIFE!” He was bawling now, before he punched Ulquiorra in the face. “Now I’ve got a worthy oppo- hey, what’re you looking at me like that for?”
Ulquiorra was shaking.
“Too scared to fight, Emo-clown?”
“You have a bow in your hair.” As one, every pony, including the creature, looked up. He did indeed have the bow in his hair.
“BLOODY FUCK! GET IT OUT! I’M TOO MANLY FOR THIS!” He finally saw Rarity.
He exerted his spiritual pressure on her.
“TAKE THIS FUCKING BOW OUT OF. MY. HAIR. NOW.”
Tearily, Rarity did so.
“Heh.”
The creature swung around to Ulquiorra. That one small chuckle seemed to be it.
“YOU FUCKING LAUGHED! YOU NEVER LAUGH!” He felt a small tug on his hakama.
“Um, Mister Not Opalescence? What’s your name?” He grinned at her.
‘The name’s Grimmjow. Grimmjow Jaegerjaques. Remember the name!”
Peering at the little filly a bit closer, he recognized her.
‘HEY! You’re Sweetie Belle! You used to give me that burnt applesauce stuff! That is the greatest!” Sweetie Belle blushed at the praise.
“Actually… it was toast.”
“I don’t give a fuck, it was delicious!”
“Grimmjow, why were you a cat?”
Grimmjow looked at Ulquiorra strangely.
“None of your business, Emo-clown.”
“It kind of is. We’re all alone here, Grimmjow. Only you and me here in this world, as far as I know. So, again, what happened to you.”
“Man, what happened to you, Ulqui? You’ve changed a lot.”
“I… have discovered my own heart.” Grimmjow looked at him strangely
“You were always weird, but this takes the cake. If you really wanna know, fucking Princess Celery did this to me.”
Thanks for reading! Please read a comment as to what you think, criticism helps!
Hmmm interesting. Chapters are a little short, but I shall definitely keep my eye on this story.
hahaha perfect just perfect grimjow as opalessence
great chapter grimmjow in equestria this cant end well. i wonder what he did to piss off princess celery
wait im confused are the bleach characters ponified or not?
Can't. Stop. Laughing.
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No, they're not.
She says so briefly in a previous chapter.
834860
Ulquiorra is normal. Grimjow got turned into a cat by Princess Celery
Not sure what to say... this is kinda strange. I'll be honest, when I first started to read this I was hoping for a fic with Ulquiorra being an emotionless figure that will have to discover those emotions as time went on. But in the last few chapter I noticed the passe at which you make him go is very fast. The cake thing was funny and all with him falling over like a plank and his reactions to everything are certainly enjoyable to read. But I feel like it's going too fast. Perhaps it's because you have not enough inspiration or the chapters are too short but I feel like the emotions Ulquiorra now displays are a little too out of character. I hope this doesn't upsets you but I felt like I should tell you so that, perhaps, you might understand my point of view.
On another note, shouldn't the whole of Ponyville be very very shocked at the sight of a humanoid creature like Ulquiorra? He is quit a sight (no homo) and should attract a lot more questions and everything from those ponies. I know this fic is mostly for laughs and all but perhaps you can give the story some more... fill-up/content?
Anyway, I wish you the best.
Wow. Now I gotta hear this. What did he do to "Celery"?
This doesn't make much sense, but oh boy is it hilarious xD
Grimmjow got turned into a cat...Wow, I didn't know Celestia loved Ironic punishments.
Hm...Now All I'm waiting for is Ulquiorra finding Starrk asleep on a rock randomly in ponyville...
Hahahahahahahahaha grimjow is back i love that bastard
Princess Celery. Pfft HAH!
aizen has a contract with celestia about dead espada?
Grimmjow, violence prone GRIMMJOW is now amongst ponies?! They're so screwed.
Eh... I started to get confused then kinda got back on track. You need to work on your writing a little bit. Get a few tips and everything. Also, try and work on Ulquiorra. He's not really becoming as good as I thought anymore. I like the comedy though. 3/5.
Dear princess celary
Ok I'm now bored....Not having fun with this story at all now.
Mutha Fuckin' Princess Celery BITCH!!!