If death must be sought, let it be by the saccharine sights bestowed upon me by this precious mare!

My favorite line in the story.

Just for clarification: Dark Mask is eating steak?

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Yep.

I suppose cows would be problematic.

Fish steak? Monster steak?

But yeah, either way, he's eating steak.

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It was just so out of left field that it stopped me for a bit

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I've also heard of grilled portobello mushrooms being called steaks. Apparently a decent vegetarian substitute, though I've never tried it myself.

Agalmatophilia? - suggests someone familiar with subject.