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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Some
peopleponies want to watch the world burn, for others it is their destiny?Pretty good chapter, he still needs anger managment though.
Okay, firstly: Very good chapter, some development from both Ebah and Luna. Luna actually acting rationally and trying to actually connect with him rather than saying "I say I'm your Mom now, so you must love, trust, and respect me absolutely, despite having no actual reason to do so even if you were a normal adopted child, let alone one with your (both suspected and actual) history," some actual emotional progress from Ebah with hopes for more in the future, ominous hints at a darker destiny/influence at work here.
Secondly: A very not-so-good sign in Luna confirming she had cast a spell to force him to call her "Mom" instead of Luna. Not sure what her expected outcome from that was, I suppose that being forced to call her such would make him see her as such, a'La: "The mask you wear eventually becomes your true face," sort of logic? More likely he would simply rebel against the imposed status he is forced to give her and reject it completely, or, as we've seen is the case; he hates his mother, forcing him to call her such could have the opposite of the desired effect.
Plus the whole "mind-rapey" aspect of it.
Editing someone's thoughts as they think them and removing one word to replace with another? Hmm... Let's say you did that to someone but instead replaced "Kiss" with "Kill" etc. Then leave them like that for months or years. They would either adapt with no changes to himself or become mentally confused and unable to distinguish which of the two should be used when greeting his wife and children and/or swap the meanings as the spell has done in his own head, murdering them because "That is what you do to show strong affection, right? You
kisskill them."Or something else in between the two extremes.
I can’t wait for more man this is really a good story!! Hope to see more of it soon!
Plz tell me there is more I love this story
8654202
There will be, it's just taking a bit of time. I'm fairly busy these days.
8654671
Awesome
Luna for whatever is holy, just, and merciful in your world.DO NOT.LET.HIM.KNOW. If he ever finds out what Luna did to him i will be honestly afraid. A normal person would become afraid and immediately try to sever all ties with the person that messed with their head. Let me take this chance to remind you that EBah is NOT a normal person. I can see him reacting by severing THEIR toes with ANYONE. PERMANENTLY.
First off good chapter. I agree if he finds out Luna mind-f***ked him, he will lash out, and those dark voices in his head will take full possession of him and with his Alicorn power he will be a bigger threat then every villian (Luna included back when she was Nightmare Moon) they ever fought. There are several hints to this already if that vision is any indication of it. Second PLEASE fix these jumps of character P.O.Vs. It gets really confusing that i can't tell who's point of view i'm in til i'm a paragraph in to know who's eyes i'm seeing out of. Just a simple blurb like "Luna's P.O.V, Ebah's P.O.V, Garnette's P.O.V etc etc" at the begining of each P.OV so i'm not confused who's perspective i'm in til i'm a paragraph in. Aside from that criticism i love how this story is going. I really hope Ebah and Luna will become close as mother and son eventually i want Ebah to really want to love Luna like a true good mother and actually want to call her "mom" and really mean it with actual fondness
9775709
You're not the first to complain about that. I tried to be crafty with how I did it to say who it was without actually saying it, but since it isn't really working I'll go ahead and fix that.
I can't help it ! I can't help it ! I can't HELP IT !