Twilight Cloppins

by KidatHeart5

Act 1, Scene 1

The audience waited with anticipation as the overture began to play. When the curtains opened, the scenery depicting Trottingham in Edspurian times was revealed. Everypony liked Discord’s artwork for Dragon on the Hearth so much that he was asked to paint the scenery for Mary Cloppins. Needless to say, the audience oohed and ahhed at such a spectacle. Discord couldn’t have been prouder of his work. The scenery for the opening rolled from right to left as the music played.

Just as Twilight, now wearing her Mary Cloppins outfit, floated onstage on a cloud, the chorus sang, “Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheree…A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be…Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheroo…Good luck will rub off when he shakes hands with you…Chim chiminy chim chim cheree…Chim cher…Rum diddly-diddly-diddly-rum diddle-die…Rum diddly-diddly-diddly rum diddle-die…”

As the instrumental part of the overture resumed playing, Twilight pretended to put on makeup while catching her props from falling off the cloud. The lights then blackened as the music continued. When the overture ended, the light returned to reveal Flash with a crowd of ponies. He had an array of instruments on him and played them as cheerfully as he could. Although he didn’t look like it, he was a little nervous performing this part right, especially since he had to practice with Pinkie when it came to being a one-pony band. He could remember flubbing up time and time again until he got the hang of it. He now hoped he wouldn’t mess up on opening night.

Thankfully, he managed to carry the one-pony band act all the way through. As soon as he was done, he said to the extras playing the crowd, “All right, fillies and colts, comical poems suitable for the occasion, extemporized and thought up before your very eyes. All right, here we go.”

He then began to sing, “Room here for everyone gathered around…” He lifted his cap towards Big Mac, who played the constable. Flash said to him, “The constable’s responstable. Now, how does that sound?” He jingled his hooves around before he sang to a pony, “Hello, Miss Lark, I got one for you…” He said, “Miss Lark likes to walk in the park with Andrew.”

Winona, who played Andrew, barked on cue.

Flash tipped his cap towards her and said, “Hello, Andrew.” He went to another pony and sang, “Ah, Mrs. Cory, a story for you…” He then said, “Your daughters were shorter than you…but they grew.”

The mares behind the elderly pony chuckled. The rest of the crowd then laughed.

Flash played his instruments as he shimmied over to another mare. He sang, “Dear Miss Persimmons…” When shreds of paper began blowing gently onto the stage, Flash acted as if his attention was diverted to the strange occurrence.

The mare asked, “Yes?”

Flash sang wistfully, “Wind’s in the east…Mist coming in…Like something is brewing…About to begin…Can’t say what it is or what lies in store…But I feel what’s to happen…all happened before…”

When Winona barked, Flash said, “I’m sorry. Where was I?” He then began playing his instruments and dancing around again. He honked his horn with his head five times and then smacked his face with a cymbal. Thankfully, it was a plastic cymbal, and offstage, DJ Pon-3 played the sound effect for a cymbal crashing. When he lowered the cymbal from his face, he pretended to look dazed. The crowd on stage and the audience laughed and clapped.

He bowed and then held out his cap, saying, “Thank you, one and all, for your kind support.” After he obtained some bits from the extras as they left, he turned to the audience and said, “Oh, it’s you! Hello! Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane, you say? All right. Come with me.”

The scenery rolled along as Flash pretended to trot down the street, instruments clanking and banging on his back. He told the audience, “This here’s Cherry Tree Lane. Nice little spot, you might say. Number 17’s just down a bit.”

Discord, who was watching from the sidelines, rubbed his hands and chuckled mischievously, “I believe that’s my cue.”

With a flick of Discord’s fingers, the set for Admiral Hoof’s house rolled from stage left to stage right rapidly. Hayseed Turnip Truck, who was playing Mr. Bittacle, shrieked as he held on for dear life.
Twilight admonished Discord, “Discord!”

The spirit shrugged, “What? I was just having a bit fun.”

When he snapped his fingers again, the set rolled back towards Flash and stopped. Hayseed Turnip Truck shivered as he held on to the railing.

Flash then told the audience, “Now, this imposing edifice that first greets the eye is the home of Admiral Hoof, late of Her Majesty’s Navy. Likes his house shipshape, he does, shipshape and Briscolt fashion at all times.”

By the time Flash had finished his sentence, Hayseed had calmed down enough to blow the whistle. Doctor Hooves, who played Admiral Hoof, emerged from the door on the “roof” and walked up to the wheel.

He then asked Hayseed, “Time gun ready?”

The bucktooth Earth pony replied, “Ready and charged, sir.”

The Doctor took out his watch and said, “Three minutes and six seconds.”

“Aye aye, sir.”

Flash told the audience, “What he’s famous for is punctuality. The whole world takes its time from Greencinch. But Greencinch, they say, takes its time from Admiral Hoof.” He then called up to the Doctor, “What cheer, Admiral?”

The Doctor replied, “Good afternoon to you, young colt. Where are you bound?”

“Number 17. Got some parties here in tow who want to see it.”

The Doctor told Hayseed, “Enter that in the log.”

Hayseed nodded, “Aye aye, sir.”

The Doctor then told Flash, “A word of advice, young colt: storm signals are up at Number 17. Bit of heavy weather brewing there.”

Flash tipped his cap and said, “Thank you, sir. Keep an eye skinned.”

As the set for Admiral Hoof’s house rolled slowly to stage right this time, the scenery rolled to show the Flanks’ house.

Flash then told the audience, “Here we are. Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane. Residence of George Flanks, Esquire.” When there was shouting from offstage, Flash said, “Hello, hello, hello. The Admiral’s right. Heavy weather brewing at Number 17, and no mistake.”

When the curtains closed, voices could be heard. Granny Smith’s voice shouted, “Leave her alone!”

Matilda’s muffled voice cried, “Quiet!”

“I’ll show ya. Dontcha be tryin’ to stop that consarned pony!”

When the curtains parted again, Flash was gone and the scenery of the Flanks’ main hall replaced the street scenery. Granny Smith and Matilda marched through the kitchen door as they pretended to quarrel. The audience was baffled that the two characters were speaking in accents that weren’t Trottish. Granny Smith and Matilda had tried to speak with a Trottish accent, but since it proved to be too difficult for them, the lines had to be re-written to better suit their accents.

Granny Smith ranted, “Let her go, that’s what I say, an’ good riddance! I done never liked her from tha moment she set hoof in that there door!”

Matilda argued, “But who gets stuck with the children with no nanny in the house? Me, that’s who!”

“Her an’ her high an’ mighty ways! An’ that face of hers would stop a coal barge, no doubt.”

Ms. Harshwhinny trotted down the stairs and said, “Indeed, Mrs. Tail! I wouldn’t stay in this house another minute, not if you heaped me with all the jewels in Equestria.”

Matilda ran towards the door and blocked it as she cried, “No, no, Gaitie Nanna, don’t go!”

Harshwhinny ordered, “Stand away from that door, my girl!”

Matilda protested, “But what am I going to tell the master about the children?”

“It’s no concern of mine. Those little ponies have run away from me for the last time.”

As Harshwhinny tried to push Matilda out of the way, the donkey said, “They must be somewhere. Did you look around the zoo in the park? You know how Jane and Michael are. Oh! You don’t think the lion could’ve gotten them, do you? You know how fond they were of hanging around the cage.”

Harshwhinny said, “I’ve said my say, and that’s all I’ll say. I’m done with this house forever.”

Granny Smith said sarcastically as she headed for the kitchen door, “Well, whoop-de-doo! An’ don’t stumble on tha way out, dearie.”

Matilda protested as Harshwhinny resumed trying to push her, “Now, now, Gaitie Nanna!” The two froze when they heard singing offstage. “Mrs. Flanks! She’s home!” She opened the door and let a dancing and singing Cadance in the hall.

Cadance said cheerfully as she set her scarf and sashes on the vanity, “Good evening, Gaitie Nanna, Ellen. We had the most glorious meeting! Mrs. Whitbuck-Gallop chained herself to the wheel of the prime minister’s carriage. You should’ve been there.”

Harshwhinny said, “Mrs. Flanks, I would like a word with you.”

Cadance continued, “And Mrs. Gaitslie, she was carried off to prison, singing and scattering pamphlets all the way!”

“I’m glad you’re home, madam. I’ve always given the best that’s in me-“

“Oh, thank you, Gaitie Nanna. I always knew you were one of us.” Cadance started singing, “We’re clearly soldiers in petticoats…and dauntless crusaders for the mares’ votes…Though we adore colts individually…We agree that as a group they’re rather stupid…”

Harshwhinny said, “Mrs. Flanks…”

Cadance continued singing, “Cast off the shackles of yesterday…Shoulder to shoulder into the fray…Our daughters’ daughters will adore us…And they’ll sing in grateful chorus…Well done, Sister Suffragette…”

As Cadance ascended the stairs, Harshwhinny said, “Be that as it may, I do not wish to offend, but I…”

The alicorn sang again, “From Kensingtrot to Billingsgait, one hears the restless cries…From every corner of the land…All you mares, arise! Political equality and equal rights with colts…Take heart, for Mrs. Flankhurst has been clapped in irons once more…”

She trekked down the stairs as she sang, “No more the meek and mild subservients we…” She then took the sashes from the vanity and put one on Matilda as she continued, “We’re fighting for our rights militantly…Never you fear!”

Harshwhinny said as the princess put a sash on her, “If I may have a word, Mrs. Flanks.”

Cadance sang, “So…”

She, Granny Smith, and Matilda sang as they marched through the hall, “Cast off the shackles of yesterday…”

Harshwhinny said, “Mrs. Flanks!”

“And shoulder to shoulder into the fray…”

Cadance sang as she wrapped her wings around Granny and Matilda, “Our daughters’ daughters will adore us…”

All three then sang, “And they’ll sing in grateful chorus…Well done! Well done! Well done, Sister Suffragette!”

Harshwhinny then said, “I suppose you’re quite done now?”

Cadance smiled sheepishly as she straightened her dress, “Yes. What is it, Gaitie Nanna?”

“Mrs. Flanks, I have something to say to you.”

Cadance asked as she looked around, “Wait, where are the children?”

Harshwhinny said as she took off the sash, “The children, madam, to be precise, are not here. They’ve disappeared again.”

“Gaitie Nanna, this is really too careless of you. Doesn’t it make the third time this week?”

“The fourth, madam. And I for one have had my fill of it. I’m not one to speak ill of the children…”

“When do you expect them home?”

“I really couldn’t say. And now if you’d be good enough to compute my wages, I’ll…”

“Oh, gracious, Gaitie Nanna, you’re not leaving? What will Mr. Flanks say? He won’t be very happy to come home and find the children missing.” She took off her sash and Granny did the same. Cadance then said to Matilda, “Ellen, put these things away. You know how the cause infuriates Mr. Flanks.”

Matilda said as she walked towards the kitchen door, “Yes, ma’am.”

Cadance said to Harshwhinny, “Gaitie Nanna, I beseech you. Please reconsider. Think of the children. Think of Mr. Flanks. He was just beginning to get used to you.”

When Matilda shut the kitchen door, she looked at the fake clock and shouted, “Posts, everyone!” She, Cadance, and Granny Smith raced to grab hold of fragile and delicate things.

Backstage, Twilight told Discord, “Now, remember: not too hard this time.”

Discord chuckled, “Oh, Twilight. You can trust me. There won’t be damage…much.”

Doctor Hooves’ voice rang out from offstage, “Four, three, two, one…Fire!”

When DJ Pon-3 played the sound effect for cannon fire, Discord immediately stomped his tail on the ground. The whole theater shook and everyone in it felt it. It only lasted a couple of seconds, though, and nothing was wrecked. The delicate things on stage, however, were moving and the three actresses scrambled to put everything back in its place.

As soon as everything was back in perfect order, Cadance went to Harshwhinny and said, “Gaitie Nanna, I do beseech you…”

Harshwhinny said, “My wages, if you please.”

The curtains closed and opened again to the street scenery. Shining Armor walked from stage right to Admiral Hoof’s house. He called up to Doctor Hooves, “You’re a bit early tonight, aren’t you, Admiral?”

The Doctor told him, “Nonsense. Right on the dot, as usual. How are things in the world of finance?”

“Never better. Money’s sound, credit rates are moving up, up, up, and the Trottish pound is the admiration of the world.”

“Good colt.”

“How do things look from where you stand?”

“Bit chancy, I’d say. The wind’s coming up and the glass is falling. Don’t like the look of it.”

“Good, good, good.”

When Shining Armor began to walk past the house, the Doctor continued, “Flanks, I shouldn’t wonder if you weren’t steering into a nasty piece of weather.” As the house rolled offstage, he shouted, “Flanks! Do you hear me?!”

Harshwhinny then appeared from stage left with a bag and bumped into Shining Armor. The prince said, “Hello, Gaitie Nanna.”

She marched past him and harrumphed, “Hmph!”

Shining Armor acted as if he didn’t notice her behavior and remarked, “You have a very pretty hat.”

As the music to the next song played, the lights darkened for a bit before lighting up again to reveal the main hall with the foyer now included.

Shining Armor opened the door on stage left and began to sing, “I feel a surge of deep satisfaction…” He gave his cap, gloves, and cane to Matilda as he continued, “Much as a king who is a noble steed...” He thanked her before singing, “When I return from daily strife to hearth and wife….How pleasant is the life I lead…”

Cadance said as he kissed her on the cheek, “Dear, it’s about the children…”

He brushed her off, saying, “Yes, yes, yes.” He sang as he entered the foyer, “I run my home precisely on schedule…At 6:01, I march through my door…My slippers, cherries, and robe are due at 6:02…Consistent is the life I lead…”

Cadance ran into the foyer and said urgently, “George, they’re missing!”

“Splendid, splendid.” He then sang, “It’s grand to be a gentlecolt in 1910…Celestia’s ruling…The age is golden…I’m the lord of my castle…The sovereign, the liege…I treat my subjects, servants, children, wife…with a firm but gentle hoof…Noblesse oblige…”

When he sat down, he finished, “It’s 6:03, and the heirs to my dominion…are scrubbed and tubbed and adequately fed…And so I’ll pat them on the head and send them off to bed…Ah, lordly is the life I lead…” He then asked Cadance, “Winifred, where are the children?”

She answered sadly, “They’re not here, dear.”

“What? Well, of course they’re here! Where else would they be?”

“I don’t know, George.”

“You don’t know?”

“Well, they’re missing. Gaitie Nanna has looked everywhere.”

Shining Armor rose from his chair and marched towards the hall, saying, “Very well. I’ll deal with this at once.” He grabbed some paper and began to write. He said, “’To the police station. This is George Flanks.’”

Cadance insisted, “I don’t think we need to bother the police, dear. The facts of the matter…”

“Please don’t try to cloud the issue with facts. One fact and fact alone is crystal clear: Gaitie Nanna’s faltered at her post. She’s let the family down. And I shall bring her to book…Oh. She’s left us, hasn’t she?”

“Yes, dear. Only just.”

Shining Armor turned his attention back to the paper and said to himself, “’This letter is of great urgency.’” The doorbell then rang and Cadance went to answer the door. Shining Armor said as it happened, “’Please send a policecolt immediately.’”

Cadance said as she opened the door to reveal Big Mac, “The policecolt’s here, George!”

Shining Armor glanced up at the ponies and crumpled up the paper as he said, “Well, that was fast. Come in, Constable. Come in.”

Big Mac said as he stepped through the doorway, “Thank you, Flanks. While doing my duties on the other side of the park, I noticed some valuables that had gone astray. I believe they’re yours.”

“Valuables?”

Big Mac then spoke behind the doorway, “Come on, now. Come on.”

Sweetie Belle and Pipsqueak then sheepishly appeared from the doorway. Cadance breathed a sigh of relief, “Jane! Michael!”

Shining Armor said sternly, “Winifred, please don’t be emotional.”

Big Mac said, “Oh, I wouldn’t be too hard on ‘em, Flanks. They’ve had a long, weary walk today.”

The unicorn said to the kids, “Children, come here at once.” When the two approached him, Shining Armor asked, “Well?”

Sweetie Belle said, “I’m sorry we lost Gaitie Nanna, Father.”

Pipsqueak added, “You see, it was windy…”

“And the kite was too strong for us.”

Big Mac said, “In a manner of speaking, it was the kite that ran away, not the kids.”

Shining Armor said to the stallion, “Thank you, Constable. I think I can manage this.”

Sweetie Belle said, “Actually, it wasn’t a very good kite. We made it ourselves.”

Pipsqueak suggested, “Perhaps if you helped us make one…”

Big Mac said, “Ah, that’s the ticket. Kites are slippery things. Why, only last week with my own kids…”

Shining Armor said, “I’m very grateful to you, Constable, for returning the children. And I’m sure that if you go to the kitchen, Cook will find you a plate of something.”

Big Mac said, “Thank you. I’ll return to my duties now.”

Sweetie Belle said, “Thank you, Constable.”

Big Mac said before he exited stage left, “Good night, little lady. Good night, ma’am. Good night, Flanks.” He muttered to himself as Cadance closed the door.

Cadance said to her husband, “I’m awfully sorry about this, George. I’ll expect you’ll want to discuss it.”

Shining Armor said, “I would indeed. Ellen, take Jane and Michael upstairs right away.”

Matilda appeared from the kitchen door and said, “Yes, sir.” As Shining Armor went into the foyer, Matilda ushered the kids upstairs and muttered, “I knew it. When all’s said and done, who bears the brunt of everything around here? Me, that’s who! They don’t want an honest, hard-workin’ girl around here. They need a zookeeper.”

When the curtains closed again, there was a flash behind them. They parted again to show the foyer and the royal couple in new costumes. Cadance said, “I’m sorry, dear, but when I chose Gaitie Nanna, I thought she would be firm with the children. She looked so solemn and fractious.”

Shining Armor said in a stern tone, “Winifred, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.”

“I’ll try to do better next time.”

“Next time? You’ve engaged six nannies in the last four months! And they’ve all been unqualified disasters.”

“I quite agree.”

“Choosing a nanny for the children is an important and delicate task. It requires insight, balanced judgment, and an ability to read character. Under the circumstances, I think it might be apropos to take it upon myself to choose the next pony.”

“Oh, would you, George?”

“The way to find a proper nanny is to go about it in a proper fashion. I’ll put an advertisement in The Times. Take this down, please.”

“Yes, of course, dear.”

When Cadance grabbed a paper and quill, Shining Armor said, “Wanted. Uh, no, required. Nanny: firm, respectable, no nonsense.” He began to sing, “A Trottish nanny must be a general…The future empire lies within her hooves…And so the pony that we need to mold the breed is a nanny who can make smart moves…” He asked Cadance, “Are you getting this, Winifred?”

She answered, “Oh, yes, dear. Every word.”

Shining Armor continued to sing, “A Trottish bank is run with precision…A Trottish home requires nothing less…Tradition, discipline, and rules must be the tools…Without them: disorder, catastrophe, anarchy…In short, you have a crazy mess…”

When she was done writing, Cadance said, “Splendid, George! Inspirational. The Times will be so pleased.”

Sweetie Belle and Pipsqueak, who were now in robes, stood at the entrance to the foyer and the young filly said, “Father?”

Shining Armor asked, “Yes?”

“We’ve discussed everything, and we’re very sorry about what we did today.”

“I should certainly think so.”

“It was wrong to run away from Gaitie Nanna.”

“It was indeed.”

“And we want to get on with the new nanny.”

“Very sensible. I’ll be glad to have your help in the matter.”

“We thought you would. That’s why we wrote this advertisement.”

“Advertisement? For what?”

“For the new nanny.”

Shining Armor said in disbelief, “You wrote an advert-”

Cadance interrupted, “George, I think we should listen.”

Sweetie Belle reminded, “You said you wanted our help.”

Shining Armor sputtered, “But, but…Oh, all right.”

Sweetie Belle read from the paper she held with her magic, “’Wanted: a nanny for two adorable children.’”

The stallion muttered, “Adorable – well, that’s debatable, I must say.”

Sweetie Belle then sang, “If you want this choice position…have a cheery disposition…Rosy cheeks, no warts…”

Pipsqueak said, “That’s the part I put in.”

Sweetie Belle continued to sing, “Play games, all sorts…You must be kind…You must be witty…Very sweet and fairly pretty…Take us on outings….Give us treats…Sing songs, bring sweets…Never be cross or cruel…Never give us castor oil or gruel…Love us as a son and daughter…and never smell of barley water…”

“I put that in, too.”

“If you won’t scold and dominate us, we will never give you cause to hate us…We won’t hide your spectacles so you can’t see…Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea…Hurry, Nanny…Many thanks, Sincerely…”

The kids both sang, “Jane and Michael Flanks…”

Shining Armor said in a disinterested tone, “Thank you. Very interesting. And now I think we’ve had quite enough of this nonsense. Please return to the nursery.”

Sweetie Belle left the paper on the desk and she and Pip pretended to dejectedly leave the foyer.

Cadance grabbed the paper with her magic and said, “They were only trying to help. They’re just children.”

Her husband grabbed the paper with his magic and said, “I know they’re just children, Winifred.” He continued as he ripped it up near the fireplace, “I only congratulate myself for stepping in and taking a hoof. ‘Play games, sing songs, give treats.’ Ridiculous.” After he threw the shreds into the fireplace, he grabbed a piece of paper and said, “There’s no question in my mind whatsoever. Now is the time for action.”

He took a quill and wrote as he said, “’To The Times. This is George Flanks of 17 Cherry Tree Lane. I wish to place an advertisement in your column.’”

As Shining Armor continued to write, Discord - who was offstage - flicked his finger and sent the shreds of paper floating up the fireplace. The curtains then closed.

Comments

[kurusagi16]

What role does Fluttershy play?

[Randablitz]

Excellent work mate! I can actually picture these characters as in the movie, keep it going, just remember to pace yourself and watch the movie if you forget certain parts!

[Dr midnight]

Is there going to be a play for fluttershy

[KidatHeart5]

7155804 I think Fluttershy is mostly going to be backstage, supervising certain things. But I suppose you could say she is an extra.
7156987 I will! Sometimes, though, I will have to cut short scenes just because they don't seem important. Don't worry, I'll keep the more important scenes in.
7158965 Fluttershy doesn't like acting on stage much, but she will be playing an important role in The Nightmare Before Hearth's Warming.