Twilight Cloppins

by KidatHeart5

Act 2, Scene 2

When the curtains opened again, the scenery was that of the city and Shining Armor and the kids appeared from stage left. He told the children, “Now remember that a bank is a quiet and decorous place, so we must be on our best behavior.”

Pip said, “But I thought it was your bank.”

“Yes, well, I’m one of the younger officers, so in a sense it is, sort of.”

Sweetie stopped and cried, “Michael, look!”

When the others stopped, an elderly pony dressed in ratty attire rolled onto the stage via a stair set. Fluttershy had also trained the birds to surround the bird pony and feed off the crumbs.

Pip shouted, “It’s her!”

Shining Armor asked, “Who? It’s who?”

Sweetie explained, “The bird pony. Just where Mary Cloppins said she would be. You do see her, don’t you, Father?”

“Well, of course I can see her. Do you think I can’t see past the end of my nose?”

Discord giggled backstage at the irony of the line.

Pip said, “Listen, Father, she’s saying it.”

The bird pony then uttered, “Feed the birds. Tuppence a bag.”

Shining Armor said, “Well, of course she’s saying it. What else would she be saying?”

Sweetie asked as she and Pip faced the prince, “Please, may we feed the birds?”

“Whatever for?”

Pip said, “I have tuppence from my money box.”

Sweetie asked, “Just this once, please?”

Shining Armor said, “Waste your money on a lot of ragamuffin birds? Certainly not.”

“But Mary Cloppins…”

“I am not interested in what Mary Cloppins says. Nor do I wish to keep hearing her name for the remainder of the day. Now come along!”

Pip argued, “But it’s my tuppence!”

Before the young colt could go near the bird pony, Shining Armor ordered, “Michael, I will not permit you to throw your money away!” The kids always hated it when Shining Armor shouted like that, even though it was supposed to be acting. “When we get to the bank, I will show you what may be done with your tuppence. And I think you’ll find it extremely interesting.”

When the kids followed Shining Armor stage right, the curtains closed again. The curtains opened again to the scenery of a bank. While the extras were playing bank tellers and customers, Shining Armor and the kids walked through a set of double doors and made their way to the far end of stage right, which was mostly empty. As they approached there, a group of actors playing the bank directors appeared from behind the curtain.

Martingale, who played Mr. Donks Jr., said to Shining Armor, “Hello, Flanks. What’s all this about?”

Shining Armor explained, “These are my children, Mr. Donks.”

“Well, so I assumed. But why are they here?”

“They wish to open an account, sir.”

“Oh, indeed?”

“Yes.”

Martingale then asked Pip, “And just how much money do you have, young colt?”

Pip held out his bits as he said, “Tuppence. But I want it to feed the birds.”

Shining Armor tried to shush him, but then a voice asked, “Tuppence?”

It was then that Cranky Doodle Donkey slowly walked onstage with a cane. He said, “Tuppence? Exactly how I started.”

Shining Armor whispered to the kids, “That’s the chairman of the bank, the elder Mr. Donks. A giant in the world of finance.”

Pip asked, “A giant?” He was again shushed by Shining Armor.

Martingale said to Cranky in a loud voice, “Uh, Father, these are Flanks’s children. They want to open an account.”

Cranky said, “Oh, they do, do they? Terrific, terrific. We can always use…” He tripped for a bit and quietly cursed, “Darn this cane.” He continued in his normal voice, “…use more money to put to work for the bank, can’t we?” He walked over to the kids and said, “So, you have tuppence? May I see it?”

Pip protested, “No. I want it to feed the birds.”

“Fiddlesticks, colt! Feed the birds and what have you got? Fat birds! But…”

Cranky began to sing, “If you invest your tuppence…wisely in the bank…safe and sound…Soon that tuppence safely invested in the bank…will com-pound…And you’ll achieve that sense of conquest…as your affluence expands…In the hooves of the di-rectors…who invest*Kaff!* …as propriety*Cough! Cough!* …demands *Cough! Hack!*…”

Shining Armor asked, “May I, sir?”

“Go ahead, Flanks.”

“You see, Michael, you’ll be part of…” He then sang, “Railways through Africolt!”

“Exactly!”

“Dams across the Neigh-le!”

“The ships. Tell them about the ships.”

“Fleets of ocean greyhounds!”

“More, tell them more!”

“Majestic self-amortizing canals!”

“Oh, it fires the imagination!”

“Plantations of ripening tea...All from…”

The stallions and Cranky then sang, “Tuppence prudently, thriftily, frugally invested in the…”

Cranky sang, “To be specific…”

The adults all sang, “In the Donks, Roans, Mousely, Grubs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank…”

Cranky then pounded his cane as the others – sans Shining Armor and the children – walked around and nodded to each other in time. He then turned to Pip and said, “Very well, young colt. Give me the money.”

Pip resisted, “No, I won’t! I want it to feed the birds.”

The donkey turned to the prince and asked, “Flanks?

Shining Armor said to Pip, “Yes, sir. Now, Michael…” He sang, “When you deposit tuppence in a bank account…”

“Go on!”

“Soon, you’ll see…”

“Tell them more!”

“That it blooms into credit of a generous amount…Semiannually…”

The adults all sang, “And you’ll achieve that sense of stature…as your influence expands…to the high financial strata…that established credit now commands…”

Cranky sang as the adults closed in on the kids, “You can purchase first and second trust deeds…Think of the foreclosures! Bonds, chattels, dividends, shares…”

A stallion sang, “Bankruptcies…”

A second sang, “Debtor sales…”

A third sang, “Opportunities…”

Martingale sang, “All manner of private enterprise…”

The first sang, “Shipyards…”

The second sang, “The mercantile…”

The third sang, “Collieries…”

Martingale sang, “Tanneries…”

Shining Armor sang, “Corporations…”

Cranky sang, “Amalgamations…”

All of the adults sang as the kids hit the wall behind them, “Banks!”

Cranky then said, “While stand the banks of Trottingham…the country stands.” When he was about to fall over, the stallions grabbed him. He continued, “When fall the banks of Trottingham, the country falls!” When he was falling backwards, the adults grabbed him again.
Shining Armor said to Pip, “You see, Michael? All for the lack of…”

The stallions and Cranky sang, “Tuppence…Patiently, cautiously, trustingly invested in the…” Pip slowly opened his hoof as the adults sang, “To be specific, in the Donks, Roans, Mousely, Grubs Fidelity Fiduciary Bank!”

Cranky immediately grabbed the bits from Pip and said, “Welcome to our happy family of investors.”

Pip shouted as he struggled to grab the bits from Cranky, “Give it back! Gimme back my money!”

Shining Armor said, “Michael, behave!”

“Give it to me!”

As the stallions clamored to stop the struggle, which Sweetie now just joined, Shining Armor ordered, “Michael, behave! Jane! Jane!”

Pip still shouted, “Gimme back my money!”

“Jane! Michael! Michael! Michael!”

“Gimme back my money!”

“Michael!”

The extras playing the bank tellers and customers soon turned their heads to the scene. One mare said, “There’s something wrong. The bank won’t give someone their money!”

Another mare with her said, “Well, I’m going to get mine!” She turned to the stallion playing a bank teller and demanded, “Come along, young colt! Every penny!”

The first mare agreed, “And mine, too!”

A stallion noticed this and told the pony in the booth, “And give me mine, too!”

Soon, ponies began to scramble onstage and went to the booths. A stallion told a bank teller, “Stop all payments! Stop all payments!”

Even though the bank tellers closed their booths, ponies still scrambled towards them. Discord chuckled offstage, “Ooh, hoo, hoo! This is delectable chaos. I never grow tired of this scene.”

Just then, Pip grabbed the bits back from Cranky and he and Sweetie ran into the frenzied crowd.

Shining Armor shouted, “Children, come back here!”

Cranky shouted, “Stop those kids!”

“Jane! Michael!”

When they ran stage left, the curtains closed. They then reopened to the scenery of an alleyway. The kids ran from stage left and stopped at center stage.

Sweetie panted, “Are we safe?”

Pip panted, “For now. Come on, we need to get home.”

“But…How do we get there?”

A soot-covered stallion then appeared from stage right and said, “I believe I can help you with that.”

The kids shrieked and then Pip asked, “Who are you?”

“Well, who do you think? It’s your old friend!”

Sweetie smiled, “Bert, it’s you!”

Flash tipped his cap as he said, “In the flesh and at your service.”

Pip remarked, “You’re filthy!”

“Oh, perhaps a smudge or two.” He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the soot from his face. “It so happens that today, I’m a chimney sweep.”

Sweetie’s eyes glistened as she said, “Oh, Bert, we’re so frightened.”

“Now, now, don’t think that. I’ll take care of you like I was your own father. Now, who’s after you?”

“Father is.”

“What?”

Pip explained, “He brought us to see his bank.”

Sweetie said, “I don’t know what we did, but it must’ve been something awful.”

“He sent the police after us, and the army and everything.”

“Michael, don’t exaggerate.”

Flash said, “Well, now, there must be some mistake. Your dad’s a fine gentlecolt, and he loves you!”

Sweetie sniffled, “I don’t think so. You should’ve seen the look on his face.”

Pip’s voice broke, “He doesn’t like us at all.”

Flash said, “Well, now that doesn’t seem likely, does it?”

The filly said, “It’s true.”

“Let’s sit down.” As the ponies sat down, Flash said, “You know, begging your pardon, but the one my heart goes out to is your father. There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless money. I don’t like to see any living thing caged up.”

Sweetie pretended to cry, “Father…in a cage?”

“They make cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped some of them, carpets and all.”

“Father’s not in trouble. We are.”

“Oh, sure about that, are you?” When Sweetie nodded tearfully, Flash said, “Look at it this way. You’ve got your mother to look after you. And Mary Cloppins and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that.

“When something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell about it? No one! Doesn’t talk about his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining and alone and silent.”

Pip protested, “He’s not very silent!”

Sweetie chastised, “Michael, be quiet.” She asked Flash, “Bert, do you think Father really needs our help?”

Flash answered, “Well, it’s not my place to say.” As they stood up, he continued, “I only observe that a father can always do with a bit of help. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

The curtains closed and opened again to the scenery of Cherry Tree Lane. The music started as Flash and the children skipped from stage right.

The Pegasus began to sing, “Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheree…A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be…Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheroo…” He continued to sing as he shook hooves with a random pony, “Good luck will rub off when I shake hands with you…Or blow me a kiss…” When a passing mare blew him a kiss, he caught it with his hoof. “And that’s lucky, too…

“Now as the ladder of life has been strung…you might think a sweep’s on the bottommost rung…Though I spend my time in the ashes and smoke…in this whole wide world, there’s no happier bloke…Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheree…A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be…Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheroo…Good luck will rub off when I shake hands with you…”

He and the kids then sang, “Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheree…A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be…Chim chiminy, chim chiminy…Chim chim cheroo…Good luck will rub off when I shake hands with you…”

Sweetie Belle ran up and rang the doorbell. Flash then said, “Well, I’ll be getting along now.”

Sweetie pleaded, “Oh, please stay till Father comes home. He’ll feel much better if you shake hooves with him.”

The door opened and Matilda leaned out. She then turned behind her and said, “It’s the children, ma’am.”

Cadance then walked into view and said, “I thought they were with their father. You haven’t been running off again, have you? You know how terribly it upsets me.”

Flash said, “Oh, they haven’t exactly been running away, ma’am. They have had a bit of a fright, though. They need someone to look after them.”

“Oh, of course! Mary Cloppins will.” Her smiled faded when she pretended to realize, “Oh, no, it’s her day off!” She asked Matilda, “Ellen, I wonder if you would…”

The donkey answered, “No, ma’am. I haven’t done my brasses yet.”

“Well, will you ask Mrs. Tail?”

“Not for a hundred bits, ma’am. It’s baking day, and you know how Cook is!”

Cadance turned to Flash and asked, “What about you, sir? You’ve been so kind looking after the children.”

Flash said, “Me, ma’am? I-I-I have to be moving along. The mayor’s got a stopped-up chimney.”

“Chimney. How clever of you to know. Our drawing room chimney’s in the most awful condition. Smokes incessantly.” Before Flash could say anything, Cadance said, “Thank you so much!”

“But…”

Cadance said as she ran past him and the kids, “Besides, it’ll amuse the children.

“The mayor’s gonna be terribly put out.”

She turned to them and said, “Oh, thank you so much. I do appreciate it. I must hurry. Our gallant ladies in prison are waiting for me to lead them in song!” She said as she ran stage right, “Goodbye, my darlings! See you soon!”

The curtains closed once more and opened again to the foyer, where the furniture was now covered in white sheets.

Flash sang as the kids covered up a chair and table, “I choose my bristles with pride, yes, I do…A broom for the shaft and brush for the flue…”

He leaned into the fireplace as Sweetie said, “Oh, it’s awfully dark and gloomy up there.”

Flash said, “There now – you see how wrong ponies can be? That there is what you might call a doorway to a place of enchantment.” He then sang, “Up where the smoke is all billowed and curled…’Tween pavement and stars is the chimney-sweep world…When there’s hardly no day, nor hardly no night…there’s things half in shadow...and halfway in light…On the rooftops of this town…Oh, what a sight…”

Sweetie said, “I wish we could go up there.”

Pip agreed, “So do I! I like chimneys.”

Flash said, “Oh, yeah! A chimney is a wondrous thing.” He then put his brush up the fireplace as he said, “She’s built tall right up there on the roof. When the wind is just right, it blows across her top and draws the smoke right up the flue. Here. Feel the pull on the end of that brush.” When Pip grabbed the brush, Flash continued, “It’s like you’ve got a whale on the end of the line, isn’t it?”

Twilight then walked into the foyer and warned, “Michael, be careful. You never know what may happen around a fireplace.”

Backstage, Discord waved his arm upwards in a quick motion. In that moment, Pip flew up the fireplace.

Twilight groaned, “Oh, great!”

Offstage, Pip just rocketed out of the pipe connected to the fireplace and was heading for the rafters. He yelled as he scrambled in mid-air.

Fluttershy gasped, “Discord, he’s too high!”

Discord said as he got ready to fly up, “Don’t worry, Flutters! I got him!”

He then zipped into the air at a rapid speed and quickly grabbed Pip. He tumbled in mid-air for a few moments before Discord finally floated again.

Pip chuckled, “That was fun!”

Discord gave Fluttershy a smug look, which conveyed his message that a little danger and chaos could be fun sometimes.

Onstage, Sweetie shouted up the fireplace, “Michael! Michael, come back down here! Michael! Michael, where are you?”

Flash said to Twilight as he walked over to her, “Well, that’s a bit awkward, I must say.”

Twilight admonished, “Bert, I’ll thank you to stop putting ideas in their heads!”

With an upwards wave of Discord’s lion paw, Sweetie Belle then flew up the fireplace. Twilight and Flash saw this and the alicorn said, “There goes the other one!”

Flash asked, “Should I go after them?”

“Well, we can’t have them gallivanting up there like kangaroos, can we?”

As Flash and Twilight were exchanging lines, Sweetie quickly shot up the pipe backstage. Before she could fall down to the floor, a very light yellow aura enveloped her. She looked down to see Flurry Heart giggling in Fluttershy’s arm.

Discord said as he grabbed Sweetie, “Thank you, Flurs. I’ll have to repay you someday. How about making you my apprentice?”

Fluttershy scolded, “Discord!”

Discord chuckled, “What? I was only joking! But still…”

The curtains then closed again.

Comments

[Randablitz]

Doing great dude! It pains me that the story will be concluding soon.

[Godslittleprincess]

Flurry Heart the apprentice of chaos? As chaotic as babies can be in real life and in fiction, I'm going to have to say no to that.