Who are you, and where's Rarity?!
This can't be happening. Spike? A girl? And not even a changeling? It's just impossible! Twilight could do some research on this strange phenomenon, but she is too shocked to even think straight. Thus, her only course of action is to at least let her friends know what is going on, so they may be able to help her, or at least keep it a secret so as not to cause a panic amongst the townsfolk. Pinkie Pie may be her nearest living friend, but given her unpredictable nature, Rarity's place, the second nearest of her friends' homes, is the safest bet for a start.
Speaking of the townsfolk, as Twilight rushes to Carousel Boutique, she notices an unusual sight: several stallions she passed by look just like mares that live around town, but she thinks nothing of it. She's on a mission, after all.
As soon as she arrives at the boutique store, she frantically knocks on the door, and before she calls out, it's opened by a stallion. But this stallion was far abnormal, because he looks disturbingly just like Rarity: same white coat, similiar violet, wavy mane and tail, similiar elegant, blue eyes, even the same cutie mark on his hips!
"Why, if it isn't Twilight! What seems to trouble you, my dear?"
Twilight sinks further into shock, and stammers, "W-W-What the hay?! Who are you, and where's Rarity?!"
"Rarity? Who's this 'Rarity' you-"
Wasting no time to even pin this imposter down, Twilight blasts him with another anti-changeling spell, knocking him onto the table behind him, scattering everything on it with a loud clatter, but just like with "Spines", there was no other effect.
This guy shakes himself back to his senses, then steadies himself back on his hooves before exclaiming, "My goodness, mare! What possessed you to such an assault?"
"So...", says Twilight, dumbfounded, "...you're not a changeling, either?"
"Of course not! Wait, 'either'? What do you-"
"Does this mean you really are Rarity?"
The stallion takes a moment to formulate a response, considering Twilight's emotional state, then delivers: "Twilight, darling, it's me. Elusive. Don't you remember? Since we first met while I was decorating City Hall for the Summer Solstice Festival?"
"But, back then, you were-"
"What the hay?!" A little colt cries out from the footsteps of the stairs leading up to Rariy -er- Elusive's private dwelling. He must have heard the noise and noticed the scattered contents of the table. Also, this boy looks alarmingly like Rarity's little sister, Sweetie Belle: same white coat, similar curly, pink-and-violet mane and tail, and the same blank flank. "What just happened here?"
"Silver Belle, mind your tongue!" Elusive snaps at the colt, takes a breath, and calmly replies, "...and go back upstairs. Twilight and I are having a serious discussion."
"Actually, I, er, I think I should go check on the others. Take care!" And without another word, Twilight galloped out of the door to who knows where.
"Twilight, wait!" But she is already gone. Elusive sighs, and looks back at the table. "Perhaps I should get this mess cleaned up?"
Stats
Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
856 users online
208,658 hits today, 1,541,308 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I smell shenanigans. I'll wait for a second opinion before reading.
Habadashery. Tomfoolery.
This is interesting...
oooh....I love "colt" versions! :D
Well this should certainly be fun... Unfortunately it's late, so I'll bookmark this for tomorrow.
755444
your avatar scares me
755507
I love the American Mcgee Cheshire Cat, so of course I had to use that picture. Sorry about that.
threadbombing.com/data/media/2/THISGONBGUD.gif
Sounds interesting, will read later!
This should be hilarious.
PREPARE THE POPCORN!
I'm watching this one...
Also, you should make your chapters longer, they feel rushed and aren't taking full advantage of the comedic potential that dwells within them.
The chapters feel a little short. You could probably get more out of these meet-ups.
Still watching.
Ok, Great premise set in a mix of canon and Conner Cogwork's On a Cross and Arrow. (I hope you got permission
)
I have to down rate it though. While the idea is good your execution needs a lot of work. Try reading this post on showing. It's really helpful information.
Also, your chapters are painfully short.There's really not a problem with short chapters, but these are barely a page, if that. This story deserves to be expounded on a lot more than what you have so far.
This needs more chapters.
Very short... but i like the concept so far
Chapters longer; at least 1k words.
Otherwise, this is be promising.
Liking the concept so far. Use of present tense takes a bit to get used to though. This is gonna be fun!
756021 "On a Cross and Arrow"? Oh dear, I didn't think of that...
Also, I'm actually writing this during a hectic moment in my life, so I might not work on it very fast, which might be why it seems kinda rushed. I really wanted to put this idea in my head out on a limb to see what people think of it, and since everyone here seems to like it
, I'll keep pegging away at it, trying to make the chapters longer.
I sense crazy Twilight in the future....
Hmm, this looks interesting, hope to see more.
I can't wait to see Rainbow Blitz appear!
Also Elusive is one of my favorite colts with Rainbow blitz and Dusk shine
948255
or maybe the everfree had a small fire in it near the poison joke and the cloud wafted over pony ville before heading up to canterlot!
And the only reason twi was unaffected is because um..... spike sometimes belches smoke in his sleep so she sleeps with an air filtration spell over her bed!... that makes sense right?
if not might be another story seed for me to contemplate.... an entire town of drugged ponies, oh the possibilities!
990060
it could be a alternate reality or a dream
More I think of Discord the more I think the following images are head cannon
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/255/7/5/discord_delivery_by_pixelkitties-d49pd85.png
Who?
willdrawforfood1.deviantart.com/art/Discord-and-Picard-258126968
"Q why are you in that form"?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/175/740/58565%20-%20Discord%20q%20season_2%20spoiler%20spoiler_alert%20spoilers.jpg
Okay should I put humanity or Ponies on trail... again
img.ponibooru.org/_images/c275005a09dc2a2f7101e396db35d5ec/58641%20-%20artist%3Adaydreamingmutant%20Discord%20disQord%20Jean-Luc_Picard%20ponified%20q%20season_2%20star_trek.jpg
1023470 Yeah, well, in this story, Discord's a girl named Eris. That's the only spoiler you'll be getting. Whether she has a role in this story shall be seen; I just got to get to it. (OxO)