Mechanic Hearts And Postage Stamps

by Ebony Runwick

Chaptr 10, Bandits!

WARNING! Minor Character Death, you have been warned!

Adhesive woke up early that morning, he was being held in Circuits hooves in their bed. Their bed, he loved the sound of it and it made him smile in the darkness, today was the day. He was going to meet Circuit’s Grandma, and it was going to be amazing. Despite the other’s movement, Circuit didn’t stir. He was still out like a log, the perfect picture of beauty with his rat’s nest of a mane splayed out on the pillow and the soft snuffling snores that left his mouth.

Ebony on the other hoof, was smiling, she had brought a carriage from her own home and was currently going over a checklist to see what they’d need for the small road trip to Circuit’s Grandmother’s house. “Wake up boys! Get ready to go!” The mare’s mane was pulled back into a ponytail, ironic huh? Either way, she had reading glasses on as well, her jaw was set in a straight line as she concentrated and tapped a pen on her chin in thought.

“Nooooo….” The gray stallion let out a dramatic whine, burying his head underneath his pillow and blankets. “Too earlyyyy...Come back later…” He snatched up one of the pillows and flung it towards Ebony. “Shoooo….” Ebony easily sidestepped and, with a blank expression, grabbed a corner of the blanket with her magic and promptly yanked it off of the bed. “How’s that for too early you little sh*t.” Adhesive promptly began snickering. Circuit let out a dramatic wail as he was yanked off the bed, landing on the floor with a loud thunk.

“Owwwww….Why are you so meaaaan..?” He groaned, sounding more like a small child then a grown stallion as he sat up. “I hate you so much…”

“No you don’t, now get up, we’re going to Grandma’s today so get ready.” Ebony then turned and walked out of the room, the blanket over her shoulder as she hummed ‘Winter Wrap Up’ to herself. Adhesive turned to his coltfriend.

“Come on babe, get up alright? I’ll help you brush your mane~!” He offered.

“Hn….Fine, but only if Ebony makes breakfast!” A voice came from the kitchen.

“Already doing it~!” Said pegasus sang happily before the sound of frying eggs could be heard emanating from said kitchen. “You know Circuit, you should invest in a better stove, or at least try making one. This thing is getting old, and it’s only a gas stove!”

“You say that, but you and I both know if I tried I’d probably blow up the entire house.” He let out a snort as he pushed himself to his hooves, flicking his ratty hair out of his eyes only for it to fall right back into the same spot. “And stoves cost money, why bother when the one I have works just fine?” She snorted at the comment.

“You never clean it and it’s practically falling apart! Plus the Luna cursed thing burns anything that’s even on there for a second after it’s cooked!” Adhesive sighed and brought his front hooves to his temples.

“Can you two please just shut up for five seconds? Circuit and I just woke up, I’m not sure how long you’ve been up Ebony but I’m guessing it’s been awhile. So, you’ve had some time to fully wake up, we haven’t. Just give me a moment to calm Circuit and get ready, we’ll be back for breakfast once it’s ready.” The pegasus nodded before turning to continue cooking the eggs.

“I don’t need to calm down, you need to calm down….” Circuit muttered childishly as he wrapped his hooves around the other stallion, totally not clinging to him whatsoever. “Do we really have to get up so early..? I bet my grandma isn’t even awake yet…” He whined, despite knowing that his grandmother would be long awake by now. His coltfriend sighed before dragging him to the bathroom connected to their bedroom.

It was plain, white tiled floor and half of the wall as the same tile. The upper half of the wall was gray paint, on the far wall at the very back was a bathtub slash shower that was the same plain white as the rest of the room. A simple toilet next to it and at the front by the door was a sink with a large mirror over it. The sink top, was probably the most interesting part of the room. Why? Because it had so much stuff all over it, brushes, perfumes, expensive ones at that, (Ebony, again?!) as well as other assorted bits and bobs of hair care made their home here.

“Alright, sit, I told you I’d do your mane didn’t I?” Adhesive smiled at his coltfriend and grabbed one of the brushes on top of the counter and began gently tugging it through the mess of mane. Circuit let out a little grumble, though it quickly faded away at the feel of the soothing strokes across his mane. He didn’t know how he did it, but somehow Adhesive managed to fix up his mane with far less pain and mane tearing than Circuit ever could. Plus, he was able to make it actually look semi decent.

“You’re lucky I enjoy this so much otherwise I’d tell you to rack off and then go back to bed.” His coltfriend let out a laugh and continued brushing.

“You’re lucky I love you so much Circuit.” He finished the ‘pegasus’s’ mane and put down the brush before picking up his own brush and pulling it through his green mane gently. Circuit chuckled softly, shifting around so he could lean forward and press a kiss to the other stallion’s nose.

“I know I’m lucky, I’m not even sure how I got lucky enough to have someone as amazing as you~” A light blush spread across his face as he spoke. Adhesive smiled, his heart softening immensely at the comment.

“Aww, you big goof, I love you!” He dropped the brush and wrapped his hooves around the stallion’s neck in a loving embrace. The gray stallion laughed softly, squeezing him tightly as he pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

“Yeah yeah I love you too...Now c’mon, let’s finish getting ready before Ebony comes in here and yells at us.”

“Yeah, don’t want that happening now do we?” He smiled and finished brushing his mane and tail before trotting out of the bathroom and grabbed a jacket from their closet. Satisfied with his choice Adhesive threw it over his shoulder and walked out of their room to see Ebony holding a checklist at the dining room table.

“Eggs are done and there’s toast ready, so sit your flanks down and eat.” She muttered to them not looking up from the list. At some point she’d pulled her mane back into a ponytail, ironic right? And had grabbed her small reading glasses, currently she was tapping a pen to her chin in thought. Circuit let out a happy noise as he sat down, quickly digging into his meal. He finally spoke up after a few moments of just quietly chewing.

“So, what’s the plan for today? Aside from going to grandmothers of course.” The pegasus cleared her throat and grabbed a piece of toast.

“Well, I’ve gotten one of my carriages to take us, you two will be in the carriage itself while I will be driving. It won’t take too long, didn’t you say your Grandmother lives in VanHoover? That should only be a three hour ride by carriage, though, if you two both had wings and could actually fly….”

“Oh hush you, the carriage will be fine.” He let out a soft snort, getting to his hooves to put his now empty plate in the sink. “What time are we going to head out?”

“As soon as we finish eating, which should be now.” Ebony finished her toast and quickly whisked away the empty plates before pushing the two colts out of the room, past the living room and up the stairs leading to the outside world. She threw open the door to reveal the carriage they’d be taking.

It was black as Ebony’s namesake name with silver trimmings all over it, including the majority of the wheels. There were two dark brown stallions with golden manes and tails cropped short like in the military. The one closest to the group had blue eyes and a horseshoe cutie mark, the other had golden eyes and a pickaxe cutie mark.

“Boys, meet Lucky and Pixie, two friends of mine, their twins.” Circuit gave the two and awkward little wave before quickly slipping into the back of the carriage. He didn’t have anything against the two, he was just awful at making small talk and figured it’d just be better for everyone if he didn’t even attempt. He settled down into the seat, sinking back into the soft cushions. He quickly made himself comfortable, settling in for the long drive. Ebony held up a hoof to help Adhesive into the carriage, who thanked her and sat down next to Circuit onto the deep purple satin cushions.

With that Ebony slung herself up onto the seat at the front of the carriage and grabbed the reins and the lead. “Let’s go boys! Next stop, VanHoover!”
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Circuit let out a startled snort as he was jerked from his nap, the sudden rocking of the carriage jolting him awake. He let out a groan as he forced his eyes open, attempting to rub the sleep away from them as he looked around the enclosed space.

“Ebony..? What’s going on? Is something wrong?” The little window between where the driver’s seat was and the inside of the carriage was small, but it did carry sound.

“Circuit listen to me, wake up, the seats open up, there’s a latch under where you’re sitting. Inside there’re some guns I packed, damn! We must’ve turned into bandit country! Grab some guns for you and Adhesive, we’re under attack!” The carriage jolted again with force, she whipped the reins once more turning to the stallions galloping in front of the carriage at top speeds.

“Come on boys! Faster!” One of them, Lucky, turned his head back and nodded at Ebony before pushing forward a little faster. Said hybrid took a deep breath before reaching behind her seat and pulled out a pump action coach gun. A pretty piece she’d picked up over the years, the mare turned behind her looking to see two, no three, bandits on motorized speeders holding revolvers.

“C'mere you yellow bellied bunch a horn blowers!” She shouted before letting a blast out of the gun. “YeeeeHAW!!!” Circuit let out a slightly panicked noise as he reached under the seats, shoving a gun towards Adhesive, who still looked like he was trying to wake up from his nap.

“You realize I have no clue what I’m doing with this thing, right!?” The gray stallion yelled up to Ebony, shifting around in his seat to try and catch a glimpse of their pursuers. “You better have a plan Ebony!” Said mare let out a roar of laughter.

“Course I do! Hold em off and take em out, if they try to get in, well, you can shoot at close range can’t ya?” Ebony smiled and she reached under her seat again to pull out a black stetson hat before putting it on her crimson mane and let loose another shot at the bandits.

One of them, a black one with white mane and tail and a red bandana around his muzzle went down, shoot through the heart and ripped through by the buckshot. Circuit ducked back at the loud bang, totally not cowering against Adhesive or anything. Oh no, Circuit’s was a manly stallion, he could handle it, right? The stallion was honestly just hoping and praying that none of the bandits would reach the door.

“You ah, holding up okay there Adhesive?” Said stallion had wordlessly grabbed the revolver and grabbed as much ammo as he could before throwing it on the seat next to him. He pulled back the hammer before looking back over to his coltfriend.

“Yeah I’m good, just get behind me, I used to shoot as a colt.” Another cry of laughter came from the mare up top as well as another shot from the shiny silver plated coach gun.

“Yep, yep okay sounds good.” The stallion let out a soft whine as he cowered behind his coltfriend, not even bothering to try and pretend he wasn’t hiding anymore. Screw his pride, he’d rather not have to listen to those other stallions get shot. Sure, they’d attacked them and they kinda deserved it, but that didn’t mean he was going to enjoy it.

As Ebony shot another bandit, a white one with a tan mane, a unicorn this time, they crossed into a canyon. That’s when four more speeders came around the corner from a cave they passed and began to tail them. Not only that, but two more dropped down from somewhere above onto the top of the carriage. Her green eyes went wide as she aimed the gun at one of them.

He promptly knocked it off of her hooves where it fell to the ground behind her seat.

“Why I oughta…” She replied to that with a quick punch to the face sending him over the side of the carriage. But before the mare could grab her gun, the other stallion, tan with black mane and tail and a green bandana around his muzzle, pulled her up onto the roof and slammed her down with a loud thud.

“Wrong move sonny, wrong carriage to rob you ugly sucker.” The hybrid leered before sweep kicking him onto his back before jumping up and punching him. He blocked, swerving from side to side before the mare rolled her eyes and kicked him in the family jewels. The stallion keeled over in pain and promptly fell off the moving wagon.

“Told ya!” She yelled before one of the bandits on a speeder grabbed the side of the carriage and threw open the door, ready to shoot the coltfriends inside.

“Uh oh…” Ebony muttered before grabbing her gun, gut she was too slow. Circuit, who had come out from his cowering when he heard all the noise, didn’t even think about it. He simply pointed his gun and fired, letting out a slightly horrified noise as he watched the stallion fall away from the door and to the ground. His body was quickly left behind at the speed they were going.

“Oh Celestia I just shot someone...I just...He just...I think I’m gonna throw up.” Adhesive grabbed Circuit and shook him by the shoulders. “Babe! Hey, snap out of it! You saved my life alright? Our lives, think about that later, just keep thinking about staying alive.” He then gave Circuit a quick, deep kiss before taking a deep breath and grabbed the carriage door and slammed it shut.

“Right...Right okay. Focus now, throw up later.” He took a deep breath, the kiss helping to clear his head slightly. “Okay, I’m gonna f-fine I just...I’ll be fine.” The stallion shot a slightly shaky smile at Adhesive. “Thanks…”

His coltfriend nodded to him and offered Circuit a soft smile of reassurance before turning towards the doors. Ebony on the other hoof, had taken down all but two of the bandits. One of which, was now dead, thanks to a good shot with her coach gun, the other, well… She missed him, but hit his speeder’s fuel tank. Which exploded violently in a big ball of fiery death and destruction. The finally made it out of the canyon and to their very eyes loomed VanHoover.

“Oh thank Luna, we made it guys! We made it!” Ebony cried with glee.

“Thank Luna…” Circuit let out a relief sigh as he slumped back in his seat, making sure to turn the safety on his gun before letting it slide from his hooves and to the floor. “Pardon me while I just go pass out for a bit now.” He let out a soft huff as he slumped against Adhesive, burying his muzzle in the other stallion’s shoulder. “I never wanna do that ever again.” Circuit’s ears twitched slightly, suddenly shooting up as he remembered something. “We are NOT telling my grandmother any of that happened, got it?” His coltfriend nodded and let out a deep sigh.

“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed Circuit, and we are definitely taking the main road on the way back, no more short cuts. I don’t think my heart can take it!” Ebony’s voice echoed through the carriage as she addressed the two.

“We’re pulling into the city now, where does your Grandma live exactly?” Circuit sat up so he could direct her, instructing her down several streets.

“Right, take a left here and then keep going straight. It’s a bright pink house covered in flowers, you can’t miss it.” Adhesive gave Circuit a confused look, Ebony leaned over the side and stuck her head in the window, also giving him a confused look.

“What? My grandma really likes flowers and the color pink, you got a problem with that?” The stallion let out a soft snort, rolling his eyes. “Just trust me, you’ll know the house when you see it.” Ebony retreated from the window and shrugged before following the previous directions, sure enough, a gaudy pink house with flowers and herbs pretty much everywhere came into view. Adhesive stuck his head out the window and smiled brightly.

“She seems like a fun lady!” The hybrid driving let out a snort and nodded.

“Aye, your grandma is gonna be an interesting one Circuit!”

“Oh, isn’t that the understatement of the century.”