Over the Proverbial Ridge
Chapter Two
Over the Proverbial Ridge
This Chapter is pending a re-write.
The days when you wake up in a pitch black room after talking with someone who was going to send you to Equestria. Those are the ones that make me wish I hadn’t been my own special brand of stupid. Sure I’d play along that’s okay but to let him try it that was just dumb and now I’m probably half way to Mexico already.
Hey there is a bright side I guess, at least… Who am I kidding there is no bright side to this, the only thing worth noting is he didn’t hurt me while I was out. I can’t feel any pain in my body once so ever and I will take that with a smile and thank you.
The room was so dark I couldn’t even see my own body. I turned my head however and ever so faintly I could just make out a light above a door. Not one person was standing guard so I guess that would mark my escape route. I leaned up and immediately hit my nose on the top of what apparently made up a box around me.
‘The whole thing must be made of glass and I’m just in the dark part of the room.’ One important thing I had almost overlooked though was my air supply. Unfortunately with my luck that doctor idiot probably didn’t put holes in the box for air.
‘Let’s take a chance, it’s worth a shot.’ I sucked in as much oxygen as I could but ended up in a coughing fit for some reason I couldn’t take in any air but it did the trick. I couldn’t feel any air flow around my body so that means I’m running on borrowed time, I have to break out of this.
The first thing I remembered was to check how much room I had to work with, I couldn’t one inch punch my way out of this I’m just not that strong. Hands raised gave me about 4 inches of room to punch. My knees had about the same if I wanted to start kicking or thrashing to get out. ‘Let’s get started.’
Okay twenty minutes of slamming my pathetic excuse for punches into the glass yielded nothing, it’s time to start plan B. Thrash around until I fall off whatever is holding the box up or hope I break a seam.
“Here goes all I got” My eyes immediately snapped open in uncontrolled surprise; my voice is the raspiest I have ever heard it. First thing I’m doing is getting the police then finishing that orange soda. My voice sounded like I had spent a week in the desert and was talking from a mile away.
Ten minutes later:
I had been slamming around for a while and fate herself smiled on me. I finally heard the small cracking sound of weakened glass. My vigor was instantly renewed; I started slamming into my fragile prison with fervor. First a louder sound came and at last the sound that could have made me cry right at that moment. Broken glass and the feeling of my fist going through the hole was all that I cared about at that moment. Thoroughly uncaring of any cuts, I clawed at the edge of the hole and ripped bits of glass out until it was just big enough to pull myself through.
I stumbled out of the box haphazardly almost falling on my face within a second of standing on my feet. They felt strange and tingly actually, like I was balancing on half my foot. This all sounded really suspicious; I’m going to take a wild guess and say that whatever he used on me was a sedative to deaden my body and senses.
I stopped leaning on my now broken prison and got onto my two feet only to low and behold fall directly on my face. The very next thought on my mind was if he shot me up with rhino tranquilizer. This didn’t feel right, when I got painkillers at the hospital I could still walk fine even if I was a little wobbly. This was downright depressing.
On a lesser note that face plant into the ground should have hurt a lot, I guess it’s a double edged sword. Can’t walk yet it doesn’t hurt when I fall. I’ll go with that, it could actually be much worse I could have been fully paralyzed. I had managed a slow unbalanced wobble over toward the light till I could make out a couple things by the door. Like next to the door handle was a light switch and jammed in the door seal itself was a letter with a wax seal on it.
“Apparently the queen sends her regards.” I continued my feeble attempts at movement till I was on the periphery of the cone of un-darkened space. The vision granting light rapidly emanating from the bulb above my escape route was a saving grace. I reached my hand out to grab the switch on the panel first. However, out of the darkness came a skeletal hand lacking any kind of flesh in any form at all it was just bone…
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“HOLY CRAP! WHAT IS THIS SWEET BULLSHIT?”
I jerked my hand back; shakily I stepped into the light and saw the same skeletal hand was actually a claw. It was my claw, which turned into a bone wrist and ran up to a bone arm. My bone arm. Everything was bone, not an ounce of flesh anywhere. I looked at my feet and it didn’t exactly take a genius to see why my feet and legs refused to respond correctly. I was walking on half my usual foot space and my knees were introverted going backwards and then they jutted back out. I was officially entering freak out mode. I could literally see THROUGH my RIBCAGE!
“Doctor, where are you? Answer me!? What am I? I said wanted a lighter version of a diamond dog not a skeleton. God damn it!”
I collapsed right in the middle of the light, right onto my back giving an audible sigh. This couldn’t have been the best body for my specifications or maybe it was and I was just too specific to get anything else. Being a walking skeleton kind of limits my chances to accomplish much. I guess meeting Applejack is out of the question now too. Seeing a dead creature talk to her would probably be too much. She would think I’m a demon sent to destroy her farm or something. I gave another huff just to be sure.
‘All in all, I could sit and mope about never having a legitimate conversation with my favorite pony or I could find ‘The Doctor’ and rip that stupid look of his dumb face for doing this to me…’
“Oh who am I kidding the guy sent me to Equestria and turned me into a skeleton. He would turn me into ash before I even got close enough to hit him. I guess it is my fault anyway ‘something like a diamond dog but with less meat on it.’ yeah nice choice of words dumbass. Look who won the brain dead award.” This was a moment of pure mental berating. Honestly how could I have been anymore vague than that. He specifically warned me about being vague.
“Well he went through the trouble to put me here. I guess I should at least give the whole thing a try, maybe give the letter a read first. It might at least have some tips to start with.”
I got back onto my feet, which is actually much easier when you can see them. Figuring out how to position them so you can walk normally wasn’t that hard but unnatural. Although by the looks of it, my toes were actually clawed as well. ‘I guess that adding natural weaponry to the perks of this body is in order.’ Once I was back on my feet I reached over and plucked the letter out of the door seam and flipped on the lights to the rest of the room. The seal on the letter was stamped into the image of a stylized phone booth.
“Go-go gadget bone claw letter opener.”
‘Ok a guess it isn’t that bad I still have my sense of humor so there is always that.’ I popped the letter open and started reading aloud.
“Hello this is The Doctor, I’m sorry but you never told me your name. Never mind though, we have more important subjects to discuss like maybe what you’re doing in Equestria? Well I’ll tell all, you see you have been selected to play as a piece in the game run by and originated by Discord. Of course, I can’t tell you the rules because that in of itself against the rules.
Moving on your part is simple. Live in on this planet, that means go anywhere unfortunately I’m not allowed to give you any materials so you’ll have to find a map if you wish to travel to other lands. Know that just because I sent you here, doesn’t mean you can do whatever you feel like you still have to obey the laws of these lands or not it is purely up to you. I know of at least three if not four other players who have decided breaking the law suits them fine so if you find it to your liking by all means. Obviously don’t kill anybody that doesn’t need to die I abhor violence but again I have no control over you, so I leave it to your discretion.
Lastly where are you? You are underneath the ‘Royal Canterlot Museum of History’ and YOU, specifically your body was actually an exhibit that was on display a month ago for an exhibition on pre and early Alicorn sisters time periods. Feel free to look around, I’m sure you can find something in the room that you may find of use in your travels.
Something of note is players in the game at some points will come into conflict, don’t get caught out you won’t get another chance. Don’t worry about the people who summoned the other players, as per the rules they can’t hurt you directly. Some aren’t as forgiving as others though and if you draw a particular summoner’s ire they may use other third party sources to attack you or use said sources to draw you into conflict with other players. Depending on who that may be, it could be much worse than fighting a third party.
Lastly the door is set with an alarm so when you open it RUN, stay in Canterlot if you want to go to the Grand Galloping Gala. It will offer you a chance to seek out other players, trust me they will be pretty recognizable. The event will begin one week from tomorrow night. Unfortunately you will have to find your own way in.
This may be one of the first things you do. Find a set of clothes, your obvious lack of flesh or any semblance of life may horrify and anger those who see it. On that train if thought an assumed identity may come in handy if you need a cover story quick. Try recounting your new body’s memories for anything that is of use. Unfortunately having two bodies worth of memories in one mind may have caused you to erase some of you human memories to make way for the new ones sorry about that.
I leave you now as I have other responsibilities to attend. Goodbye and good luck.
-Sincerely The Doctor
PS: This note will disintegrate in 48 hours upon breaking of the seal
PPS: Check the back after you look at display your body was in for you piece in the game.”
Well that is just great, drop a load like this on a guy and I’ve only been here for less than an hour. That is a lot to think about but there is no time like the present.
“Well let’s get started; I’ll need a weapon, some clothes or armour, and I should check that exhibit I was in maybe learn something.” When had I started talking to myself I’ll never know. That I didn’t give him my name though bothered me greatly. It’s…its. “Why can’t I remember my name! Oh yeah it’s Rorke, wait no it isn’t! Why can’t I remember it? Where did Rorke come from?”
I reread the letter and stood there more than a little troubled that I had lost my name, but there are worst names I could obtain than that guess. ‘He was right I should take a look around this place before I leave.’
I walked around the room, which surprisingly had a lot of useless crates but some contained glass displays like I was in. After about 5 minutes I found something useful, a weapons display but it was on its side so I flipped it over and looked. Inside, it had a rusty curved sword kind of thing the placard called it a khopesh and a staff with a sideways axe head on each end. The sword would probably break if it has rusted all the way through. The wood on that axe thing probably couldn’t survive one hit intact, but they were better than nothing at least the axe heads just need to be sharpened and have the divots in it repaired as well.
Another ten minutes of shifting boxes unearthed some great results and less than great results as well mostly broken equipment and old rocks with some hieroglyphics on them. ‘Seriously he said that this was pre-alicorn sister’s period stuff but a lot of it feels like ancient Egypt especially that sword.’
“Now that is what I’m talking about.”
Inside the first crate was an exquisite gauntlet if I do say so. It looked like someone wanted to get fancy with their armour because they put some seriously dark green emeralds points facing outward on all…three knuckles? I looked at my own still slightly disturbing skeletal hand and noticed, I in fact only have 3 fingers and a thumb.
‘Oh well, what does a pinkie do for you anyway?’ I thought to myself but back to the task at hand. The liberation of my first piece of armour was within my grasp. Some characters from a language I had never even seen before were printed all over the black metal of the gauntlet. The metal ran up the whole forearm stopping a couple inches before the elbow. The whole case seemed easy enough but when I hit it, my fist bounced off and almost came back to hit me. Seemed like the museum wants this piece more than the others because they put some sort of sealing spell on the case. I needed a tool for that job.
Honestly it must have been a pretty weak spell, all it took to break through the case was to hit it with the double ended axe thing a few times and the glass shattered. Next on the list was some clothes to hide myself in, I couldn’t walk around Canterlot looking like I had just crawled from the grave without expecting every guard in the city to come kill me. Is it possible to kill a skeleton? Unfortunately I wasn’t in the mood to try that ever actually.
Only about a minute going box to box and soon I found some manageable clothes that weren’t even in a glass case. They looked to be heavily reminiscent of the robes someone would find if they took a walk through a Middle Eastern desert right down to the face wrap. “Great now I won’t bleach my bones in the sun.” They looked to be really old and probably white when they were made but age had turned the edges raggedy and dirty brown while the rest was an off tan brown-ish.
“Huh I just realized I don’t even know what my face looks like. I might not actually have enough cloth to cover my face if it changed too much.” I reached up and felt my face and realized, I had a muzzle now and some still very sharp teeth in my skull no ears though.
“How do I hear things then if I don’t have ears? How do I eat and drink without a throat or stomach? Wait do I do either of those now? Because I don’t really have any need for nutrients of any kind if I can’t digest them. Probably not, for now I’ll just assume I have no use for any biological functions. WAIT that means I never have to go to the bathroom again…”
“YES…YES!” I just kept repeating it in my very best Mr. Bison impression I could give with my new ‘sounds like I smoked 20 packs of cigarettes a day for 6 years’ voice. I threw on the robes and got the robes on surprisingly well and it even had extra cloth to account for the muzzle. They must have been made for this body before it died.
One thing I have to do before I leave is look at the placard for the body I have now see if I can learn at least what the species was called or if Rorke is actually his name or I just made it up without knowing.
I walked over to the display and started to read it out loud like the letter, because honestly it makes it easier to comprehend everything.
“High Priest Rorke Chardstone
-Religious and political leader of the Anubite kingdom of the southern sands.
-First among and last of the Anubite people.
-Born 17 B.S. (Before the Alicorn sister’s ascension to the throne.)
-Died 129 A.A. (After ascension.)
-Lived to be 146 years old an almost unprecedented life span for a time with such archaic medical technology.
-Last of the known Anubite people due to all other known members of the species being unknown in current location all attempts to find them have proven unsuccessful.
-Rumors that have since been disproved stated that Rorke and the other sects of priesthood could use magic.
-Little known fact: Rorke enjoyed honey and cream in his morning tea. (Last fact courtesy of Princess Celestia, a close friend of Rorke’s.)”
I took out the letter and looked at the back and a large image of a bishop chess piece was printed on the back. ‘But there was nothing on the back of the note before I broke the seal…Magic.’
It was at this moment that the door out of the room busted open with a slam; I turned around and saw a couple of earth ponies in gilded armour with swords in mouth standing in the doorway looking at me with anger in their eyes. Honestly it isn’t hard to see why; I did sort of destroy thousands of years of history in my search for equipment. However in my defense though all of it did technically belong to me. ‘Let’s see if they think the same way.’
“Ok I know this looks bad but I can explain.”
“You can explain everything in prison, Thief!” They said in unison continuing to talk together.
“Drop your weapons, all museum property, and surrender.”
“Ok I don’t want to hurt either of you but I’m not going to give up what technically is mine and I’m not trespassing if that’s what you think, I was dumped here by some idiot called the Doctor.”
“A likely story you gem eating mongrel, tell it to the princess.” Okay then, when they get racist only the left one talks, useful note.
Okay apparently the guards here don’t like dogs that much and I’m not about to let them know I’m a reanimated skeleton of the leader for a dead civilization.
“Then it seems we have come to an impasse gentleman.”
“This is your last warning, drop your weapon and surrender or we will subdue you.”
Ok it seems that they don’t want to play nice. “If this is the way it has to be, know that I didn’t start this.” I really hope that Rorke brought some memories of fighting because I have never been in any kind of physical confrontation that can even be described as a fight. I only knew of tactics that are used by squads of people. Knowledge of all things military history, help me.
They charged swords raised and I drew my axe staff. ‘They have numbers and yet they charge head long into the enemy I see why they are patrolling a museum. I wonder if I get hit with a sword if it will hurt so far nothing has hurt me even when it should.’
The left one slashes downward while the one on the right goes for my side. I slide back much faster than I’m used to moving just to avoid the cuts, I thrust the axe blade forward and turned for a stabbing slash effect that caught one guard on the left under the eye. ‘Good I hope that leaves a scar, prick.’
We continued our flurry for a few minutes, I had been dipping and diving around varies crates inadvertently destroying more museum property when they smashed through it. Leaving both of us with wounds mine consisting of only tears in my robe but theirs left them bleeding more than is healthy. I could see them actually getting tired but I felt the same as I had at the beginning of the fight. Unfortunately me standing there thinking was enough time for one guard to slam his sword blade down on the wooden haft of my axe staff shattering the fragile wood in half.
I took the end of the axe in my right hand and slammed the flat of the head into the guard’s head, impacting loudly on the guard’s helmet and stunning him enough for me to do it again. Then I did it again and again till he fell down unconscious leaving only the guard with the cut under his eye and a prejudice toward dogs left to continue the fight. In a stroke of bad luck, it seems I had stood there thinking again for a second to long. He brought his blade down right were my elbow resided separating the top half of my left arm from the bottom dropping the bone. The axe half still being held by the gloved hand as well, it was right on the ground in full view of the guard.
He just stood there staring at my severed arm making exactly the same mistake I had twice and now, it was my turn to take the initiative. I slapped him along the head with flat of the axe head as I still had it in my right hand, only for the wood at the point where the metal meets the haft to break further and the axe head dropping to the floor. The advantage was still in my hands… hand for now; the guard was still whirling from that slam to his helmet. I reached for the khopesh still on my waist and drew it out.
I brought it around as the guard regained his orientation, we ran at each other only to immediately get into a sword lock, the flats of our blades rubbing against each other to try and gain the upper hand in a test of strength. Something became abundantly clear within the first three seconds of the lock. Earth ponies have a lot of muscle and this body is suited for quick movement not upstanding fights, I needed a different strategy fast or he could cut off my other arm and then I would be down to just teeth which actually wouldn’t be that bad but still bad.
I decided quickly that using the sharp talon points on my toes to dig into his foreleg would probably win the fight. I pushed as hard as I could on my sword hoping the rusted blade wouldn’t snap like my axe staff had. Thankfully it held and with the couple of inches of slack, I got my foot forward and raked his leg with the points leaving a stripe of bloodied flesh on his leg. Unfortunately for him the pain was too much for him and he screamed out dropping his sword in the process. I could easily kill him now but that isn’t fair, granted he would kill me if given the chance but not me. However he did deserve a punishment for not letting me explain the situation.
I reared my arm back and slammed the boney knuckle directly into his muzzle effectively breaking his nose from the spray of blood that came out. I repeated the process a couple more times, till he fell down but that wasn’t enough. I reached down and took off his helmet and slammed it against each side of his head a couple times, keeping a close eye on him to make sure he didn’t escape his pain with unconsciousness. He was going to sit there and deal with the pain unlike his partner.
I decided to make a point of attempting to spit on him, as I walked over to my dismembered arm and stared at it only now registering that I felt absolutely no pain from having it hacked off. ‘I guess not having a nervous system will do that to you but how to reattach it.’ First attempt jam it into the joint and see if the magic will take over and connect it. Surprisingly it almost worked but I messed the joint alignment up. I tried again and it worked perfectly, making it now time to collect my broken items and beat a hasty retreat to somewhere with less unconscious guards.
I started picked up the wood bits and reassembled the staff portion of axe staff to see how long it was so it can be replaced effectively. I checked the holes in my robes and none of them are overly revealing to the body that they concealed. Sliding my khopesh back onto my waist and held the axe heads in hand before I got a quick though of revenge for that guard to live with. I put the heads down and grabbed my sword walking over to the newly unconscious guard without his helmet; I leaned down and cut his tail down into a one inch stub so now EVERYONE gets a view of what an asshole he is. ‘Lame pun cinches the victory!’
I got right next to him and even if he couldn’t hear me I hoped that he could “Next time you won’t be so lucky and a cut tail will be the least of your problems.” I gathered up my things again and set out for the door as it I was due a long time ago to leave this stupid room and when these guys don’t report back in they will send more guards I don’t feel like being here when that happens. On the plus side, now the door won’t set off an alarm because it’s already open.
I walked out the door for the first time in the two hours I have been in Equestria and walked down the incredibly long yet surprisingly well lit hallway for about 10 minutes till I found a set of stairs leading up to a hatch. I opened it and was actually surprised it opened to an alleyway. I climbed out and started walking out of the street corridor only to come to a really good view looking down at the rest of the city as the sun was setting. If I didn’t know any better my cliché sense would be going off but I had better things to do I walked out of the alley over to a park and sat under a tree and decided to sleep for the night too much excitement will do that even if you don’t feel like sleeping or are tired, the tree was just so inviting underneath.
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Can anyone guess what all the chapter names are from?
Honestly your awesome if you can but anyway more chapters will be coming out as soon as they are ready and up to snuff.
Animated skeletons now this should be fun.
Sorry, but you miss A LOT of punctuation. Try to get a proofreader to help you - spellings are all correct but I don't really like it without the proper punctuation.
751177 thank you telling me I thought originally that the sentences seemed pretty long but my proofreader left me to go play WoW so yeah that's a thing.
751172 I'm glad you wanted to read it but if it needs more periods then more periods it shall receive.
A plethora of periods minus the 'excess of' part that plethora entails.
This has a lot of potential.
I see a few mistakes, but I also see areas where improvement can be vastly made. There is never such a thing as a horrible story, only stories where authors refuse to improve upon their work. You want to improve it, so this story has so much potential for success it's ridiculous. I suggest asking around for a proofreader or editor, like I did. I met Avorin that way, by chance, and the awesome Gryphon/New Best Friend is so helpful when I write it's amazing I even wrote without him!
So, check this out:
http://www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=27
Helpful, huh? I thought so too!
Now, check this out:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/12_FiNmrDP95GRLVoSELYo5NM__E9P8MejoxNKp6uLr0/edit
Scroll down to the bottom and look for proofreaders who are not occupied with anyone. It's the best place to start and I suggest just going through the list, sending out a simple message to request their assistance, then patiently waiting. If you need any help at all, or if you can't find any and still need help, I'll be happy to do my best and try my best to help you out when I can.
Keep up the awesome work! Remember, those who stop improving never get a chance to see victory! Don't let anything, anyone says hurt you. They say it so you can recognize an area that may need a little work, so that when you do start working on, you'll know it's an important area that will draw you a lot of attention when it's improved upon, even just slightly!
Great work! Now soldier on!
omg he,s a sekeletal anubis this idea pleases me
751927
Thank you for accually addressing my concern. For that, I will follow this story.
Interesting concept, but please oh please do something about the lack of punctuation! It made this very painful to read
753712 Honestly I made it pretty blatant but no one else decided to post a comment on it so congratulations your first.
Dem bones. Dem bones. Dem, drrryyyy bones.~
"Great job: I have to hand it to you, you've disarmed me. Now, would you mind passing it back? I'd do it myself, but I seem to be a little short-handed at the moment."
I hope to see a joke about getting a knife in the ribs/a knife tickling Rorke's ribs.
Please, oh please have someone try to play his ribs like a xylophone.
Maybe Rorke and Knightmare could participate in song, detailing the bones of the diamond dog body. Maybe a little something like this.
I really like this story so far, the character is really awesome, and I don't know if anyone has done a mind and soul transfer into an already existing body yet, but there are A LOT of grammar errors. There also seem to be some places where the word choices and word order just don't make sense. It is still a very funny story so far though.
Are you going to have anyone ask him to lend a hand like in this clip?
That's a good boy, Rorke. That's a good boy. Now, play dead...er...Undead?...Alive? Well what do you know: I guess that you really CAN teach an old dog a new trick.
Please pardon me for the pesky plethora of puns.
Great character concept. Can't wait to see how he does in society.
Must, read, more, awesomeness... I need more awesomeness!!! Please? Fav'd already!
Oh, yes. This fellow has the potential to be extremely punny.
I hope you exploit the hell out of that. =3
756119 There is a comedy tag yet I hadn't even though of all the bone puns and jokes that can be made.
Thank you for that. The next chapter will be coming out tomorrow but the one after that won't come out till I get my proofreader. so there's that
759022 You're welcome, and I'm glad that I was able to give you some (hopefully) good ideas.
So the next chapter is coming out later today, huh? I look forward to reading it.
757097
Yay for you! Now you get to go and have flying, poison stabby-stabby fun times.
759022 Please have him introduced to ponyville on Nightmare Night!
I can just see for me so many puns can be made.... even though I have no eyes! Skull joke!
And will milk work like a health potion for him (healing bone fractures ect...)?
Can he run on water and jump ridiculous hights, because of how light he is now? 'Gone with the wind'?
If he gets lonely, have him hide in someones closet... I guess Celestia has a good amount of skeletons in her closet.
This might be his new theme song...
762401 prepare for mass info dump: Honestly if I can get a time line of when all event are in calendar form that would be great. I'm currently unaware if Nightmare night has already passed or is after the gala. I have a month to burn before the gala so if it's before the GGG then I could do that. I'll have to ask others what they think. As far as health potions work he can't drink or eat anything he doesn't have a digestive system. He runs on latent energy that also is what keeps him together and puts him back together, for example when the guard cut off his arm he jammed it back into place and it sealed into place by itself. No he can't run on water in fact bones sink in water, with so much less surface area without skin he would sink very fast but no lack of air so there's that. Think of Anubites as the dog version of the feline tribes found within the rainforest. They can jump just as high, Rorke with his lightweight (approx. 60ib fully geared) could probably jump higher but it would present a danger as when he comes down he would have to slow down or risk shattering his leg bones. YES YES a million times YES. Will he be scaring the tar out of ponies before,during, and after nightmare night? Yes but specifically that night as it is most appreciated by the community and wouldn't get him chased out of town. When you say theme song I immediately think of this . Thank you for giving the story a try and I love answering question from people so feel free to ask more if you feel the need but somethings are spoiler-ish and can't be revealed.
Sad announcement: The new chapter won't be posted today because I want my proofreader to look at it first also they looked at the other two chapters so those should be corrected later on as well. I'm sorry
- Sturrn
My thoughts. Very interesting.
A skeleton is a fun idea. Easily re-attach limbs that have been severed hehe. But since we got skeleton is the next thing on the board a zombie? or necromancer?
763494 Give him some shoes or sandals.... problem solved, and he'll be all 'Jesus ain't got s*** on me'!
I was thinking about 'Ain't no grave'(badass mode: activated) too, but then I saw the Comedy-tag (slap-stick humor?).
Bones can handle quite some pressure (alot of less momentum builds up without all that flesh), and it's just the initial contact and momentum which 'causes fractured and broken bones without the metacarpal- and digital pads (some sandals will fix that + opens up for the claws)! Hypothetical... if a human was just skeletal with just the fleshy undersole of the feet, there would not be enough force applied to break/fracture bone + the way dogs and especialy cats limbs are designed, they can better dispearce the occuring force of a fall (as long they land on their feet!). So technicaly.... as long as Rorke is not wearing a set of full plate armour and armed to the theeth (working out from your profile pic), he can fall from the moon and down to Equestria, if he don't burn up in the atmosphere (but hey.... RD's flesh ain't tearing when she rips through Mach 1) and Rorke manages to land on his feet!
Regarding whether NN comes before or after GGG is hard to say.... NN is the episode before the ''Sisterhooves social'', Which then again is 4 episodes from ''Sweet and Elite'' where Twilight comments that GGG is just around the corner (+ two episodes later ''Hearth's warming eve'')
and then the question raises..... was NN right before winter, or right after (I would guess before, as it's theme is somewhat 'autumm/Fallish'-based.
Considering that there is not much 'timespace' between ''Sweet and Elite'' and ''Hearth's warming eve'' (IF one works out from the vantage point that there are no regular timeskips between each episode, and it does wary from a couple of days up to several months).
My guess would be:
-''Winter wrap-up''
-''Sisterhooves Social'' (spring)
-''Best Young Flyer competition'' (my guess is that this is early summer, general 'feel' of the episode, but honestly....)
-''Summer Sun Celebration'' (mid-summer)
-Grand Galloping Gala (Late summer/early autumm) (every 4th year in this universe?)
-Nightmare Night (autumm)
-Running of the leaves (autumm)
-Hearth warmings eve (winter)
BTW: are Rorke going to have fun with the ''Equestrian'' version of 'Book of the dead''?
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-The comedy is there for when the situation calls for it, if it isn't needed then it won't be included. Also slapstick will be used sparingly for obvious reasons.
- Rorke will most certainly be getting toe-less foot wraps because why buy the whole shoe when you don't need it.
- Thank you for the timescale that actually makes things much easier now.
- BTW:huge spoiler: Sorry can't talk about the book at this time.
Reader feedback is the best kind and your certainly helped thank you.
-Sturrn
775227 The first chapter has been proofread and the second should be put up by tonight and the third WILL go up tomorrow.
punctuation will be included in all these things.
-Sturrn
I like the idea but I have some complaints.
Grammar is sub-par: This is a pet-peeve of mine, good stories with potential but poor grammar. It's not as bad as many stories I had the 'pleasure' of reading.
Syntax: I couldn't tell where some thoughts began and where some ended.
Pacing: Some of this felt very rushed.
Conclusion: Have someone preread and edit your story. I will continue reading simply to see where the idea goes but quite a bit needs to be fixed.