Soarin's Pie

by gcsmith

Chapter 1

Three Pegasi clothed in blue came to a stop in the middle of the stadium, all three breathing heavily, signs of sweat visible on their clothing.

"That's it for today, lads, well done and good work," came the voice of Spitfire, a yellow Pegasus and the only female of the trio. "Right let's see, tomorrow we will meet here at seven, we have a lot of work to cover still with the Terrific Trio Tornado. We want to be ready for the Ponyville stunt show next week, don't we?" she asked.

The other two responded eagerly,shouting "Yes, captain!" at the same time.

"Good, now hit the showers." Soarin and his fellow teammate, Twister, headed right for the showers while Spitfire went left. She hated showering on her own, however since she was the only female on the team, she didn't have much choice. 'We really need another female teammate’ she thought to herself, 'Besides, think of the new moves we can do with four people.’

A short time later all three were standing outside the stadium. They often spent the evenings on their own but, always liked to say good night before going their separate ways. Tonight however, the two male teammates were heading back to Soarin’s house together. Tornado's house had suffered serious damage in the last storm and he needed somewhere to stay.

"Good night, you two," said Spitfire before taking to the air and zooming off into the sky in one swift movement.

"Good night to you too, Spitfire," Twister called after her. "So, what we up to tonight roomy?"

Soarin was looking off rather dreamily until he realized his name had been called. "Um, not sure. Guess we can get a pizza in and watch a DVD; managed to get my hooves on 'Mane 6'- you know, that film about that team of six super heroes assembled to fight forces of evil that threaten Equestria."

"No way," said Twister, his jealousy barely hiding behind his thick designer glasses, "How, the hay, did you get hold of that? The film has only just finished at the Cinema."

Soarin cracked a cheeky smile, "Got a massive fan in the film industry, gave me it after I signed a photo for his filly."

"That's whack man, you hear me? Whack! You get fans in the film industry and my biggest fan works for Captain Pudsey's all-you-can-eat-fly-through. I guess I can get our pizzas tonight."

"Hey man, don't feel so down," exclaimed Soarin, "I'm sure you get plenty of use of that fan, I know how you like your pasta pots," He poked Twister in the stomach, "Looks like you should keep off them for a while." He chuckled and sped off before Twister could process the insult.

Twister, eventually catching on, sped up to catch up and respond. "Not cool, man, not cool. Besides, at least I don't stuff my face with pie all the time," he retorted.

"Pies are good man, pies are the best," said Soarin, "Nothing finer than a pie." His eyes went dreamy again.

"You thinking of her again?" asked Twister.

"Of course I am you dimwit. Can't get her out of my mind, no matter how I try." replied Soarin rather sing song.

"Hey, why don't we go out clubbing? I know a nice little place where there's this sweet young thing who would love to meet you," said Twister. Apparently his words hit a nerve and Soarin flew off ahead of him. Twister thought for a moment to see if he had done anything different to particularly offend him. Getting nothing, he raised his legs as if to say "why me", and followed after his friend.

-x-

Several hours later, Soarin and Twister were sitting around a console playing the latest Griffon War Combat game, surrounded by Pizza boxes and howling at the screen.

"What the cud, man! No way that mule of a camper should’ve got me! How the hay did he shoot me through that?" Screamed Twister, his player having been just blasted apart.

Soarin just laughed. "He just has skills, besides there was a massive hole in that hut, of course, he was going to be able to hit you with his rocket spell through that."

Twister threw his remote down at the ground and kicked the console off. "Bah, had enough of this stupid game anyway, ready for that film?"

"Sure, but first I have a bone to pick with you."

"Really? It better not be about this stupid mare again. I said I was sorry."

"Of course its about her! I still can't see why you would think a cheap club floozy could make me forget her."

"Hey, I'm wounded here. She ain't cheap I'm telling you. Besides, some of the things she can do make you forget a lot." reasoned Twister, receiving a hoof across his face for his troubles. He scowled, "Whats with you, man? You used to love the club girls."

"I don't know," said Soarin, rubbing a hoof across his neck, "Just after seeing her at the Gala something stirred inside me. She's so fresh. Besides, did you hear? She's a baker and called Pie. Can you think of a better match?"

"You and your pies. But seriously, what do you even know about this gal? You're getting way out of wack for a mare you don't even know."

"I know her job and her name, more than you know about your dates," said Soarin.

"That's so not true, mate,"

"Really? What was that white mares name and job?" he asked Twister.

Twister sat on his haunches, his face screwed up trying to remember before eventually throwing his hooves up in defeat. "Fine, you got me. Ok so you do know a bit about her, I'll give you that. But you haven't even made a move to find her."

"Well, I found out she lives in Ponyville," said Soarin nervously.

"Really?" asked Twister excitedly. "That's great news."

"Really?"

"Really, means you can try and find her next week when we're in town,” responded Twister.

"Of course! Thanks, mate, I guess your not always a dunderhead."

"Man, you really know how to wound me," moaned Twister. "And just to think I was going to give you some of my finer tips to dealing with a mare."

Soarin was quick to hand his friend a beer and apologized, "Hey, sorry about that."

"It's ok, I guess a beer can heal this wound. Right, so what you need to do is find her and then..."

-x-

A week later, Soarin and Twister were sitting on a cloud overlooking Ponyville, the sun was shining and there were workers filling the southern fields. A large temporary structure had been erected and the finishing touches were being added for the next day.

Twister smiled at Soarin. "So, tomorrow's the big day, eh? You ready?"

"Come on, Twister, we do these events all the time. Why wouldn't I be ready?" Soarin asked.

"Well," Twister rolled his eyes, "there's going to be a special mare in the crowd this time."

Soarin looked down at his hooves, shuffling them nervously.

"Whats wrong, Soarin?"

"Well, um, I have no idea if she will even be going." Said Soarin causing Twister to smile.

"Soarin, I think me and Spitfire can handle the stadium preparations." he reassured, looking down at the Captain down below. The sun glinting off her uniform causing his smile to grow wider.

"Really?" the appreciation in his face showing before he looked down at his hooves again clearly deflated.

"What's wrong now?" asked Twister.

"I don't know where to find her."

"Well, at least you got my message," stated Twister dryly. "Look, either you really aren't the sharpest tool in the box, or you forgot she was a baker already."

"So, I should check..?"

Twister face-hoofed. "The Bakery," he said.

Soarin gave an embarrassing chuckle, "Of course, I'll see you later."

"Do you remember my advice?"

Soarin cringed, of course he remembered the advice. He had spent a week with Twister, where every moment of everyday was filled with stomach wrenching advice. 'I don't know how I will forget the advice he gave me involving a toilet.’ He thought to himself, giving a small chuckle.

"Yeh, I remember your advice. Thanks for that mind cud by the way." With that, Soarin flicked his tale at Twister and flew off into the sky. "By the way, keep your eyes in your head around Spitfire." This caused Twister to nearly fall of the cloud.

"H-h-how did you..?" Twister began to stutter.

"Oh, come on," Soarin chuckled, "With all this talk of mares I could see you couldn't keep your eyes off her. What did you think I looked at every time I daydreamed?"

"You wont tell, will you?" Twister pleaded.

"Why, what you afraid of?" Soarin said, glad he had leverage over his friend.

"You know perfectly well what I'm afraid of." It was true, Spitfire was well known for treating guys who got too close with an iron hoof.

"Ok, your secrets safe with me. See ya tomorrow," with that Soarin, made his way off into town to find the bakery and the mare of his dreams.

Comments

[Reed Libro]

First !!Wow I was going to do something like this , but it seems you
bet me ! I wonder how Dash feels about this?

[Forevermore]

I congratulate you on your interesting idea for a shipfic! I shall now read it.

EDIT:
Not bad, has potential. Need to work on your grammar a bit. Noticed some missing commas, misspelled words, and other mishaps here and there.

Like the tone of the story and I will enjoy reading more of it later on.

[GreyCapstan]

Overall I thought this was a nice start. I have two complaints though:

1) Several grammatical errors throughout the story (the first one happens 2 words in; it should be "Three pegasi" not "Three Pegasus"
2) The way it's written suggests that there are only three Wonderbolts,but there's definitely more than three of them in the show. Here's six:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110804233024/mlp/images/thumb/1/1e/Wonderbolts_make_an_appearance.png/743px-Wonderbolts_make_an_appearance.png

With that being said, I do like the premise of it and I'm curious to see where it goes.

[moguera]

Soarin/Pinkie...
...
...
...
...
Consider me intrigued.

[punisher143]

YEEEEEEEEEEES!

You had me at the description!

Edit: Not bad. I'll keep an eye on this.

And that plothole GreyCapstan pointed out is kind of big, but then again, maybe they're doing shows that only require three Wonderbolts?

Either way, could do with some tweaking.

[guuguuguuguu]

Automatic favorite.
Pretty epic story so far

[BorderPatrol]

Yay, some SoarinPie

[gcsmith]

744990

ahh thanks for that, Often only see three, like at the Gala you only see the 2 named and one unnamed one which I called Twister :D

still thanks for the info.

[gcsmith]

744821

I wonder indeed.

[burdenedsoul]

this is awesome, somehow i imagine twister having an australian accent, not sure why though

[gcsmith]

746178

Can of beer healing wounds might be the cause.

[burdenedsoul]

746179 mostly yeah, but when i was reading it, even before that line, in my head i kept hearing australian, that line just cut off all doubt

[gcsmith]

746183
I dunno, Australian doesn't seem a bad fit. Maybe have the accent chase has from House.

So surprised how popular this story has been, wish My HiE was more popular lol :D

[burdenedsoul]

744945 yeah, he always has had trouble with grammar, but nothing other than that really, aside from the grammar, gcsmith is an amazing author, and has even inspired me to be better at my own writing, plus he's inspired me to start reading fan fics for youtube, like mic the microphone does

[burdenedsoul]

746194 well the thing is, hie stories are never all that popular, even the really really good ones, like the EqD worthy ones, not sure why though, could just be the fact that they always follow the same plot lines, mostly romance, there's hardly ever any kind of adventure hie stories, its kind of a shame

speaking of which, i just snagged an idea out of my brain for an adventure hie story, with all oc characters, it'll be a bitch to write, but hey, it'll be something new

oh and dont EVER discredit yourself, artemis is awesome, and im really looking forward to the next chapter

[gcsmith]

746209

Heh, well EQD wont accept mine so I wont send it in.

And I have removed the romance and more adventure will be coming.

Either way Glad your liking this story, having to put out chapter two soon since this story is far more popular than I thought it would be.

[burdenedsoul]

746213
1.) eqd doesnt take unfinished stories anyway, so finish it so we can be happy
2.) i did notice the adventure starting to poke its head out, keep it up
3.) everyone loves a good shipfic, especially when its a mane 6 with a non mane 6, at least i do anyway, never liked any of the appledash, or pinkieshy kinda ships

[gcsmith]

746225

Well personally while I may read a mane 6/mane 6 fic, Ill never write a same sex shipping. So non mane 6 is all I have to work with.

And EQD do take unfinished stories, hence the story updates postings, just my HiE has him being mentioned watching the show so they wont accept it.

[FlutterStar]

1 word:

MOAR!!

[gcsmith]

746250

In the middle of writing chapter 2 as we speak