Soarin, flyer of the Wonderbolts loves pies. He will travel the length and breadth of Equestria for one worthy of his pallet.
At the Grand Galloping Gala he noticed the Ultimate Pie, and now must go on a journey to see if he can claim it for his own.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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First !!Wow I was going to do something like this , but it seems you
bet me ! I wonder how Dash feels about this?
I congratulate you on your interesting idea for a shipfic! I shall now read it.
EDIT:
Not bad, has potential. Need to work on your grammar a bit. Noticed some missing commas, misspelled words, and other mishaps here and there.
Like the tone of the story and I will enjoy reading more of it later on.
Overall I thought this was a nice start. I have two complaints though:
1) Several grammatical errors throughout the story (the first one happens 2 words in; it should be "Three pegasi" not "Three Pegasus"
2) The way it's written suggests that there are only three Wonderbolts,but there's definitely more than three of them in the show. Here's six:
images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110804233024/mlp/images/thumb/1/1e/Wonderbolts_make_an_appearance.png/743px-Wonderbolts_make_an_appearance.png
With that being said, I do like the premise of it and I'm curious to see where it goes.
Soarin/Pinkie...
...
...
...
...
Consider me intrigued.
YEEEEEEEEEEES!
You had me at the description!
Edit: Not bad. I'll keep an eye on this.
And that plothole GreyCapstan pointed out is kind of big, but then again, maybe they're doing shows that only require three Wonderbolts?
Either way, could do with some tweaking.
Automatic favorite.
Pretty epic story so far
Yay, some SoarinPie
744990
ahh thanks for that, Often only see three, like at the Gala you only see the 2 named and one unnamed one which I called Twister :D
still thanks for the info.
744821
I wonder indeed.
this is awesome, somehow i imagine twister having an australian accent, not sure why though
746178
Can of beer healing wounds might be the cause.
746179 mostly yeah, but when i was reading it, even before that line, in my head i kept hearing australian, that line just cut off all doubt
746183
I dunno, Australian doesn't seem a bad fit. Maybe have the accent chase has from House.
So surprised how popular this story has been, wish My HiE was more popular lol :D
744945 yeah, he always has had trouble with grammar, but nothing other than that really, aside from the grammar, gcsmith is an amazing author, and has even inspired me to be better at my own writing, plus he's inspired me to start reading fan fics for youtube, like mic the microphone does
746194 well the thing is, hie stories are never all that popular, even the really really good ones, like the EqD worthy ones, not sure why though, could just be the fact that they always follow the same plot lines, mostly romance, there's hardly ever any kind of adventure hie stories, its kind of a shame
speaking of which, i just snagged an idea out of my brain for an adventure hie story, with all oc characters, it'll be a bitch to write, but hey, it'll be something new
oh and dont EVER discredit yourself, artemis is awesome, and im really looking forward to the next chapter
746209
Heh, well EQD wont accept mine so I wont send it in.
And I have removed the romance and more adventure will be coming.
Either way Glad your liking this story, having to put out chapter two soon since this story is far more popular than I thought it would be.
746213
1.) eqd doesnt take unfinished stories anyway, so finish it so we can be happy
2.) i did notice the adventure starting to poke its head out, keep it up
3.) everyone loves a good shipfic, especially when its a mane 6 with a non mane 6, at least i do anyway, never liked any of the appledash, or pinkieshy kinda ships
746225
Well personally while I may read a mane 6/mane 6 fic, Ill never write a same sex shipping. So non mane 6 is all I have to work with.
And EQD do take unfinished stories, hence the story updates postings, just my HiE has him being mentioned watching the show so they wont accept it.
1 word:
MOAR!!
746250
In the middle of writing chapter 2 as we speak
Oh ho this was good. Chapter 1 was pretty good but this was a lot better. I laughed more than once while reading it. Moar please?
I like it. I dont think I have ever seen a soarin pie ship before
I've only seen the Soarin' x Pinkie Pie ship done a few times in fan art. As for Rainbow- shit happens. Pinkie in an inclosed area with snobs, we all know where this is going. It's like throwing a lit packet of fire crackers in a room of Vietnam war veterans with post traumatic stress disorder, It'll be funny and wrong at the same time.
Reading the summary and thinking "yeah he does"
746990
?
Thanks for all the lovely comments guys, wasn't meant to be a reguarlly updated story, but you got me working on chapter three already, instead of my doctor whooves or Artemis stories.
wander if I should submit this to EQD :p
746252 thats good :)
748213
?
748240 That youre writing chapter 2 as we speak?
748278
uploaded now
748282 i just realised when i read it
748305 :p
Hope you enjoy it, wondering if I should submit the story to EQD after I fix chapter 1 grammer
It's nice to see Soarin shipped with someone other than Braeburn, Spitfire, Applejack, or Rainbow Dash.
Yay! I was sort of hoping that they were going see pinkie and rainbow when they watched the DvD but I guess it would probably be more like a reenactment and possibly somewhat embellished like many of our "based on a true story" movies.
746178 If you read it it probably because he said mate .
748989>>BRAEBURN !!!!!!!?????????
748119YYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSS DO IT !You better pinkie promise you will!!!!I'll be checking .......I got my Pie on you !! HaHaHa get it cause pinkies last name is PIE !!!!!!!
748321 ypu should, but it has to be 3000 words and over, tho
all my fics got discarded
751242
chapter three will solve that problem of just being under 3000 words, I need someone to grammar check chapter 1 and 3 for me though :P
751266 u have some editors? i can help with that if u want...
751585
Sure, Ive had some people on IRC proof read. But I think it annoys them me asking :p Thanks for the offer. At moment I need the grammar mistakes of chapter one sorted out, I cant really spot them, can't wait for the day I write a chapter without mistakes. :D
751591 pm me the next chapter once your done
The book knows all Twilight
752235
You don't like her?
752240 No i just find that comment about the book rather endearing and innocent.
752261
Daww :P Book Twilight is Cute Twilight.
To be fair it's not like he invited Pinkie to a rugby game or an international soccer gamer, over there her behavior would be considered calm as the stadium tears itself apart from drunken fist fighting at the end of the game.
Yesterday isn't spelled with a u.