Unimpressive Scraps

by An Unimpressive

Twilight, Revised ch. 1 (The Star Wars draft)

This is the first draft. Curious about the final product?

“The Elements!” I gasped, only now noticing the maelstrom sucking in the five Elements of Harmony. I jumped in without thought to consequence or result, only knowing that those five stones were Equestria's last, best hope against the eternal night that Nightmare Moon had plunged us all into. I couldn't fail Princess Celestia, and my new acquaintances had done a great deal to get me here. Everypony was counting on me; after all this time of having others clear the way for me, it was time to play hero.

The storm spat me out in a strange room in a puff of smoke, and I coughed, trying to clear it from my lungs. I wrenched my eyes open and gasped. Nightmare Moon had the Elements in her grasp! She cackled, reveling in her victory as lightning struck all around her. I gasped, partially from shock at how quickly she'd snatched Equestria's greatest hope away from me and partially at how much of a flair for the dramatic she seemed to have.

I had to do something, or all of Equestria was lost. Nightmare Moon had quite a flair for the dramatic, as her actions tonight had shown; maybe if I played into her classical pride and lured her into a showdown where I'd be woefully outmatched, I could catch her off-guard and reclaim the Elements. Part of me whispered that I still didn't know what the sixth Element of Harmony was, but a funny instinct told me that the sixth element would take care of itself. Somehow. At this point, I had to make do with what I had.

I narrowed my eyes, pawed the ground, and snorted in challenge. Just had to appeal to her pride...

She gave me a dismissive stare. “You're kidding. You're kidding, right?” she asked, flaring out her wings in unconscious answer to my challenge. Despite her words, I knew she'd take the bait. It was in her nature, and her body was already getting ready for it.

I lit up my horn in preparation for my little gambit and charged, praying that she was as stupid and vain as I thought she was.

She grinned the grin of a predator watching a mouse struggle under the weight of a claw and leapt down. She galloped towards me, no doubt intending to meet me on equal terms and crush me, displaying her superiority. It was a struggle to keep a victorious grin off my face; all I had to do now was work my magic.

And I could do magic.

Just before I would have collided with Nightmare Moon, I blinked across the room in a quick teleport to reach the Elements. My head spun with the vertigo of the sudden shift; I still needed to get accustomed to that. I shook my head; focus was needed here. There was no way my little maneuver was going to buy me much more than a few seconds of breathing room, so I had to act quickly.

A hoof nudged me. “Oh, was that supposed to be clever?”

I screamed, forgoing words in favor of a primal expression of pain as I was hurled against a pillar by Nightmare Moon's magic, who had anticipated my bluff and moved to counteract it faster than I could blink. I squirmed as she held me fast against the pillar with magic so strong, my own was like a mouse before a lion. Tears welled in my eyes as I found myself pushed further and harder against the unrelenting stone. My spine flared with needles of pain as Nightmare Moon held me several meters off the floor and walked slowly, leisurely to me. She looked up at my pain-wracked, miserable form.

“So you are Twilight Sparkle...” she mused.

“You... you know my name?” I coughed out. Being more or less choked by magic was even less pleasant than it sounded, and breathing was becoming difficult. Darkness crept into the corners of my vision. I had to fight! Everypony was counting on me. If I let Equestria down, I could never live with myself. In vain, I tried to nudge a hoof forward, and managed to do so briefly.

My brief smirk of victory became an open, screaming orifice as Nightmare Moon sent electricity coursing through my rebellious leg.

“But of course. Only a foal would fail to examine every last pawn before challenging one such as Celestia.” She tilted her head. “I wonder what she imagined a puny little pony like you could do?”

At that moment, I heard the concerned cries of the five ponies who had accompanied me echoing up the staircase up. I tried to flare up my horn to send some kind of warning to them, but Nightmare Moon's magic enveloped my own, and I screamed again as she sent electricity directly into my nervous system through my horn. “You won't... get away with this, Nightmare Moon. Equestria... Equestria will never accept you... as its ruler.”

“On the contrary, my little pony,” she said, grinning a grin that looked as cheerful as the gates of Tartarus, “I think you'll find that bending your knees to me is altogether rather pleasurable.”

“Never.” I spat the word with all the fury and indignation I could muster. My mind flashed back to many memories of Princess Celestia tutoring me on everything. Now this thing... this monster stood there choking me to death and thought that I would join her cause? How dare she. “I'll never join you! You banished my teacher!”

Her grin widened. “No, Twilight... I am your teacher.”

I coughed up a little blood. “What the hay... is that supposed to mean?”

My only answer was a sinister grin. As my vision darkened, I saw Nightmare Moon floating something towards me, and then all went dark.

---

I regained consciousness in a giant, well-ordered library, not unlike the Starswirl the Bearded Wing of the Canterlot Archives, where I'd spent much of my time in Canterlot studying. I rose to my hooves. “How did I get here?” My voice echoed off the steel bookshelves that rose dozens of feet into the air, offering me no answer. I took a tentative step forward, feeling the orderly stone under my hooves. Whoever owned this library could only be described as “meticulous.” Every shelf was filled with books that looked familiar and tidy, and not a speck of dust was on the vast majority of the shelves. My heart swelled with pride for the librarian, whoever she was.

A clattering noise aroused my attention as my ears perked up, trying to determine what exactly it was. Was someone knocking books off the shelves? How dare they violate the sanctity of this library! I charged in the direction of the noise, which grew only more violent as I drew nearer, as though the vandal had heard my approach and was trying to tear through as many as possible before I stopped him.

There would be no mercy for anyone harming a defenseless book.

I rounded the corner of a lavender-colored bookshelf, only to see myself, sitting in a pile of books, scribbling in them furiously with dozens of quills.

“What are you?” I blurted. Had I come across some kind of imposter?

The other me looked up, and I got a closer look at her. Her eyes had a strange, catlike shape in their pupils, and her grin was downright malicious. She stood, never allowing her quills to stop their frantic editing—she had to have as many as eighteen books at a time in her grip! Despite her sinister appearance, I couldn't help but be impressed by her degree of control. Either she was quite the prodigy in her own right, or she had studied my capabilities extensively to try to mimic me. “Well, hello me. Quite a pleasure to meet myself.” She giggled, causing her whole body to ripple with laughter. Where was that librarian?

My eyes were drawn to another oddity on her body: her cutie mark. Overlaid over my own cutie mark was the image of a glowing moon, and looking at it made me feel like I was getting sucked into it, as absurd as it sounded. It was difficult to tear my eyes away, and I couldn't help but wonder if I had a touch of Marecissus in me. “What... you can't be me,” I said, still feeling woozy from staring at the disfigured cutie mark.

“Oh, I'm not. Not yet, at least,” she responded with a deepening grin.

My headache worsened. “What... what's that supposed to mean?”

“Look around you, sun lover. Where are you now? Apply that brain of yours... or is it just empty space under your horn?”

I bristled at her remark, but took her advice and took in my surroundings a little more thoroughly. Meanwhile, the eerie doppelganger continued its frantic work. Nothing new presented itself to me physically, but a certain feeling hung in the air, as though I'd been here hundreds of millions of times, as though I knew its stacks' contents by heart. My eyes wandered upward to the bookshelf across from us, which bore a familiar sunburst motif. Despite the bizarre situation I found myself in, I couldn't help but smile. Every library could use a shelf devoted to Princess Celestia. The shelf's placard read “Memories of the Summer Moon Celebration.”

“Huh?” I murmured. “That's not right.”

“Is it now,” the not-me whispered from behind me.

“What?” I turned, suddenly filled with a feeling of intense dread. All the books she'd been scribbling in were re-shelved. On a sudden thought, I looked to this bookshelf's label. “Early Foalhood.” “Wait...”

“Understand now, do you?” The mare cackled.

Suddenly, it all added up. The familiar feeling from the books. Knowing exactly where to go. Feeling disoriented when I stared at a distorted reflection of myself. A library layout.

“We're... we're in my mind...” I whispered. I had heard of spells that had such effects, and for most ponies without a great deal of magical ability, it was impossible to exist within one's inner self. Accounts stated that the surroundings fit the personality of the pony, but that nopony else was ever there. I'd read works of fiction as a child that had little miniature versions of a pony running everything in her head, but that had always seemed silly to me. All of this begged one desperate question: who or what was this thing in front of me? “What have you been doing to me?”

“Just doing a little cleaning.” She shrugged, a little too casually.

My ears flattened against my head, and I snorted. “What are you?”

“Me? I'm magic, Twilight Sparkle.” Her eyes opened, and it occurred to me where I'd seen such pupils before: Nightmare Moon. I had blundered badly. “And I'm just making an improved you.”

“I doubt it. I like me just the way I am. Now undo whatever you've been doing!” I lunged at her, desperate to knock her concentration off so I could undo the changes to the books... to my very memories.

She danced out of the way with ease, snickering as I slammed into the bookshelf. If the books were my memories, what did the bookshelves represent? “Poor little sun-lover,” she sang, cantering away as my vision spun.

I hauled myself to my hooves, heaving with exertion. If I didn't catch up with her before she got to more of me, I might not be able to undo the damage. After all, I had my fail-safe spell, but in my present condition, I had no idea how many times I could cast it. Come to think of it, I'd never had to use the spell on myself; I knew that in theory, it could restore a pony's mind to normal, but somehow I doubted that energy drawn from a warped mind could heal itself. With any luck, I wouldn't have to test it.

I sped off, listening for the intruder's steps, which always seemed to be just around the next corner. My teeth ground in frustration; how long was she going to lead me on like this? There was no way I afford to be wasting precious time when my memories were being rewritten. Come to think of it, it seemed a little strange that I didn’t suddenly believe that I had been born an earth pony under the “benevolent” rule of Nightmare Moon, or whatever nonsense my doppelganger was trying to put in my head. Then again, going down that road meant considering how my thoughts and inner monologue functioned while in my own head, and I didn't have time to engage in such philosophical inquiry, as fascinating as ruminating on a thing like that sounded. With any luck, I could ask Princess Celestia about it once I fixed everything and got rid of those annoying ponies that kept following me around, yammering about friendship without ceasing. Celestia, but some ponies could lack a sense of boundaries; Pinkie Pie had to be about the worst of the bunch for that.

In the midst of my pondering, I realized that the noise of desperate hoofsteps had faded into silence. I, too, slowed. My ears swiveled and flicked, trying to detect any hint of masked breathing or the scuffling of a hoof on stone.

Step.

Stop and listen for reaction.

Step.

Halt and try to hear breathing.

Nothing.

This was becoming frustrating; while I was trying to be sneaky, whatever Nightmare Moon-controlled clone was galloping rampant in here could be doing Nightmare-knew-what in here. My head swam for a moment, and the scenery around me wavered. What was I thinking? Panic gripped me as I considered what it could mean that I was taking Nightmare Moon's name in an oath in place of Celestia's.

“Ugh... no, not yet... I need to fix this.” Summoning all the will I had, I forced myself to keep moving forward. More than anything else, more than anypony else, I had to cling to my trust in N—Princess Celestia. I sucked in breath and leaned against a nearby bookshelf for support, bracing myself against the swirling, taunting colors of night gathering before my eyes.

Princess Celestia had made me the mare I was, and she needed me now. No one else could save her. No one else could defend her: not her guards, not her councilors, not her country. Only I could do this. “I won't let you down, Princess Celestia. This I swear... I'll be there for you this time,” I whispered, feeling an inner fire burn within me.

I shook my head, banishing the colors and feeling vigor flow back into me. Try and stop me, Nightmare Moon. I could take anything she could throw at me. She could break my home, break my bones, break my body, break the very natural order of the world I lived in, but my spirit would never shatter.

Instilled with confidence, I took another step closer to a diminutive, disused bookshelf marked “Friends,” where I was sure the mockery of me was hiding. I grinned, in spite of myself. It's just like I told Spike: the fate of Equestria did not rest on me making friends. Watch me save everypony all by myself!

I crept closer, confident that she couldn't hear me. Her breathing was sharp and ragged, stirring up dust; why, she might as well have been broadcasting her location for all to see! For this exact reason, I circled back around. Nopony would fall for such an obvious trap. Since she obviously had some magical ability, she was trying to trick me while she teleported away and flanked me. Only a foal would fall for such a trick.

I turned around and doubled back, eager to beat her at her own game. I crept low, remembering one of the how-to guides on sneaking I'd read when I was a filly enamored with tales of donkey ninjas. Slow steps. Relaxed breathing. Patience. Wait for your opponent to make a mistake, and then move. It was this philosophy of watching and waiting that allowed her to make the first move; that was my mistake.

I felt a hoof tap me on the back. “Twilight?” my own voice asked. My blood ran cold; she had tricked me. Or I had tricked me, depending on what the thing was. Of course a clone of me would anticipate me anticipating a trap and setting one of my own. How could I have been so foolish?

I rolled to my hooves, only to see the smirking doppelganger right in front of me. I opened my mouth to scream defiance, but she used the moment to dart in and kiss me.

I froze up in shock. I wasn't sure how I felt about kissing other mares, but it felt completely wrong to have my own tongue probing my mouth, rolling over each and every tooth like a desperate, writhing thing. I tried to pull away, weakly, but she wrapped a foreleg around me and held me close. The longer I stayed like this, the weaker I felt, like she was drawing something out of me. With a magical shove, I broke away, breathing quickly. My heart pounded. “What... what are you doing,” I said rather than asked. At this point, it really wasn't even worth guessing at her motives anymore. She was a product of Nightmare Moon, sent into my mind to confuse me and distort my memories. My vision blurred in front of my eyes, as though to drive home the point.

“Aww, but Twilight, we've always said we didn't need anypony but ourselves. Don't you trust yourself?” she asked, taking a step closer as her reptilian eyes shone with false emotion. It... it had to be false emotion. Although maybe she did have my best interests at heart. I shook my head, trying to clear my muddied thoughts.

I drew back. “Well, it's true that I trust in myself... but don't... don't say 'we.' You're... not me...” I wasn't even convincing myself. Darkness crept into the corners of my vision, as staying conscious became a chore.

“Then shut up and trust this.” Her horn glowed, and as my horror grew, she pulled me in for other vampiric kiss. As her lips just brushed against mine, she whispered, “Don't worry. I'll take care of everything for us. Trust me.”

“N-no... stop...” I moaned, trying to pull away from her. A wave of revulsion, like a thousand parasprites marching just under my skin, swept over me. This was wrong. I shut my eyes and looked away in shame.

“Look at me. Look at yourself.” Her voice was hypnotic, soothing. Despite my best efforts, I turned back and looked deeply into the depths of those half-lidded, draconic eyes. “We've only needed us. Always.” Her hoof brushed the side of my face, and despite my horror, an electric thrill ran down my spine. Knowing that there was a part of me that seemed to want this made everything worse. Yet, her eyes—my eyes—were so inviting. “Our whole lives, all we've needed are us and our princess. Right?”

“Right,” I mumbled, feeling my eyelids start to droop as her words rolled into my ears. “Always the princess.”

I chuckled, feeling the foreleg holding me shake from my own laughter. I looked into my own slitted eyes; I had a point. It was getting hard to think, and the more I listened to myself, the more I seemed correct.

As I stared at myself, I said, “You see? Not so bad. Just accept me. Accept yourself. Who am I? Who are you? Who are we?”

I stared at the pony—at myself—inches from my face, whose hot breath continued panting its way onto my muzzle. “I'm Twilight Sparkle. You're Twilight Sparkle.”

As one, both of me said, “We are Twilight Sparkle,” and I felt at peace with the new serenity I had shown myself. Sometimes, surrender could be such a sweet thing.

Then, I kissed myself, and as everything fell into the darkness of unnatural rest, only one thought stayed with me, fading in power as I pressed my soft lips into mine, destroying any will and conscious thought I had: Celestia. Celestia. Celestia...

---

I got to my hooves slowly, feeling very drowsy. I was in the shadow of a throne, and I had been... been... what had I been doing? My mind was shrouded in fog, as though thinking about anything on my own was like looking up from the bottom of the ocean at a solitary pegasus high above the clouds. Something around my neck pulsed, and I looked down to see what it was.

Around my neck was a halter in the royal style, emblazoned with an image of a silvery moon against a dark background. My mind stirred at this sight, and as the picture pulsed again, the fog in my mind cleared. Of course: I was with my Mistress. The Mistress had been dealing with the rebel faction opposing Her. But hadn't it been her sun-raising sister that I had been following? Celestia?

I swayed on my hooves, overcome by nausea. Although it was ridiculous to consider me being anything but loyal to my Princess and Mistress, a part of me still screamed that I had been tutored by that “Celestia” who had done so much to try to unbalance my Mistress' reign. I feel to the ground and writhed, feeling that traitorous part of me that was so willing to ignore everything my Mistress had done for me in favor of such a ridiculous idea burning like a terrible, terrible disease in my mind.

Princess Celestia was my teacher. Princess Celestia was my teacher.

My Mistress was who I served. My Mistress was who I served.

I beat my head against a nearby wall in frustration, trying to drown out the disloyal voice. I would never betray my Mistress, but what if she was never my mistress at all? I shook my head, quickly, only to notice my halter flaring again. I closed my eyes, trying to shut out its harsh glow, even as I felt it wash over me and soothe my tormented spirit.

When I opened my eyes again, I was calm. No longer did impure thoughts cloud my mind; there was only love for my Mistress: Nightmare Moon. The way it should be. I was a good pony. I climbed to my hooves, feeling myself rather short of breath from my ordeal. I looked myself over quickly, but aside from a lingering pain around my throat—thinking on it made my head hurt, as though there was a memory I couldn't quite grasp—I was fine.

The sound of heavy hooffalls echoed behind me, and I turned, uncertain of what I would see in this fearful place. However, to my delight, it was only the glorious visage of my Mistress. I immediately bowed, as I was not worthy to so much as glimpse Her glorious mane. “Mistress, please forgive your lowly, unworthy servant who is not worthy to gaze upon Your...” My words sounded hollow, as though they were being fed into my mouth. The feeling sent a shiver from my ears to my tail. Could this be some side effect of whatever strange fugue had caused me to doubt my very memories? To make me think that the pony who had been a second mother to me and then a trusted teacher was somehow not deserving of my love and adoration? How absurd.

“Rise, Twilight.”

I blushed, feeling honored that She would remember the name of Her humble student, and rose to my hooves. “I... I am not worthy of your indulgence, Mistress...” I looked at the ground, still certain that I was unworthy of gazing at Her. As Her glorious mane snaked its way under my chin, forcing me to look at Her, my blush deepened and my tail raised of its own accord. Slightly, so it may have been mistaken for a nervous twitch. She seemed to think otherwise.

She drew back, alarm plain on her face. Quickly, however, her expression returned to one of entirely deserved superiority and she drew near once more. “I hadn't realized her feelings for my sister were that strong... I may have to adjust the enchantment,” my Mistress murmured.

Now that I was permitted, my dreamy gaze lingered upon my Mistress' perfect face, taking in everything about Her dark, beautiful expression. “Sorry, Mistress, what were you saying?” I slurred, intoxicated by Her hot puffs of breath on my face. She had never been this close to me, and I found her otherworldly scent positively intoxicating. A slow, dreamy smile came over my face. Although I knew there was probably important business at hoof—crushing those who would threaten Equestria's perfect state of eternal happiness, forever shrouded in a pristine night—all I could focus on were her deep eyes, which no doubt saw through to the foalish state of my thoughts. She was clever like that, perfect like that, sharp like that; if I grew up to be even half the pony my Princess was, I could die happy. She was the mold I wanted to cast myself in. Ever since I saw her raise the sun at the...

I felt a faint buzzing in my head. The sun?

“What was that, Twilight?”

A small, electric thrill went through me again, just to hear Her saying my name. Apparently, I'd said it aloud. “I'm... I'm sorry, Princess...” I tried extra hard to bring out the respectful capital in apology. “My mind's kind of loopy tonight. I don't know why. Too many hours studying under you, I suppose...” I sighed, a schoolfilly gazing at a first crush. How very like her: she had far more pressing concerns, and when I showed a hint of very fragile, innocent mortal weakness, she tried to help. How magnanimous. How empathic. How like the princess who ruled over that which gave us light...

The buzzing grew louder, a sharp keening in my ears. Why did I keep associating Her with the sun? I whined, sounding a little like a puppy desperately trying to hide wrongdoing from its mother.

She quirked an eyebrow almost to the ridge of her helmet, and for a brief, horrifying moment, I was sure I had disappointed her. Had this all been a test? Was I about to fail?

Luckily, faint calls of my name from several ponies came from a spiral staircase at the other end of the room and distracted us both from my failures. My little headache grew more insistent upon hearing them, and I clenched my head between my forelegs to block it out.

Nightmare Moon, true ruler of Equestria, my Mistress and teacher, reached down and smoothed my mane. Heat rose to my cheeks; She was touching me! “Don't worry, Twilight. I know you must be confused. Just trust in what you know to be the truth, my little pony.” She directed my gaze with a tip of her mane to the moon sigil I wore. “Know that you are my most valued subject... and student, Twilight. I will not let these ponies, who are bent on ruining everything I hold dear, have their way.” She stood and pointed an accusing hoof at the doorway with perfect dramatic flourish, sending my heart aflutter with renewed admiration. “I, Nightmare Moon, shall protect you. Hide thyself in the darkness that is my domain and trust in me.” She turned and grinned the grin of a predator setting a trap. “I will not fail Equestria.”

My mouth moved, but I failed to form words. To avoid looking like a more foalish foal, I nodded vigorously and jumped into a shadow from a nearby pillar to watch my Mistress defend Equestria firsthoof. I bit my lip to avoid squealing with glee. Although she rarely displayed it, accounts of Her battle with the traitorous Princess Celestia told of powerful magics she subdued her with before she banished her to the moon. To see such amazing magic for myself was like something from a dream!

The buzzing in my head grew to a shrieking that threatened to split my horn. Why would Nightmare Moon banish Celestia to the moon? Wasn't it to the sun, so she could sit amidst her own element and think on her crimes?

I shook my head, dismissing the conjecture. Of course my Mistress had banished Celestia to the moon; where better to keep an eye on a powerful enemy than one's own seat of power? I stuck my muzzle in the air with swelling pride; logic had defeated foalish emotion once more. At this, my treasonous confusion waned, becoming little more than an annoying whisper in a sun-loving voice that amounted to little more than nothing. Satisfied that I had dealt with my own issues, I turned my attention to the door to see my Princess deal with Equestria's.

A group of five ponies had advanced cautiously into the room: a cyan pegasus with a prismatic mane and tail who looked ready to destroy anything that looked at her crossways (Rainbow Dash, my mind whispered), a yellow pegasus who seemed ready to permit anyone to do anything if we could all get along (Fluttershy, my mind whispered), an orange earth pony wearing a wide-brimmed hat and a serious expression (Applejack, my oddly well-informed brain told me), a pink pony who looked like a clown (“Pinkie Pie” was the name I guessed at), and a white unicorn with an indignant, yet concerned expression on her face (Rarity, my brain supplied). For some reason, I felt I knew these ponies, although I was sure I'd never seen them before. Since they were rebels, had I suppressed the memory of meeting with them? The memory surely would have been something I'd felt ashamed about, owing to my strong loyalty to the Crown of the S—Moon, so it made some sense. Idly, I swatted the air around me with my tail, as though I could dispel the resurgence of my bout of confusion. If only I could make myself—body and soul—the perfect student for Her. But, I lived, so I was flawed.

“Where's Twilight, huh?” “Rainbow Dash” cried as she maintained a steady hover. “What have you done with her?” Without waiting for a response, the foolhardy foal dove forward, only to be halted by “Applejack” grabbing “Rainbow Dash’s” long, vibrant tail in her mouth.

“Now, hold on there, Rainbow Dash,” she said through a mouthful of tail. “No need to go flying off the handle now.” Interesting: I did seem to know these ponies from somewhere if I knew their names. But where? When I looked at them from behind the pillar, I felt a sort of itch from my brain—as though there was something that I really should have remembered, but the memory was just gone, as though I were missing a few synapses.

“But... what if something scary happened to Twilight?” Fluttershy asked, daring to peek out from behind Applejack's rear.

My Mistress shot a scathing glare at the pitiful pegasus, who quickly yelped and ducked back behind Applejack.

“Oh, nothing 'scary' has happened to Twilight. She's safe and sound,” my Mistress assured them with a casual smile.

“Well that's good!” Pinkie Pie said. “I kinda figured we were in one of those scary-wary situations where suddenly everything's all darky and then you try to light a candle to lighten the mood and someone says, 'But Pinkie, that's not what what that expression means' and then everyone has a good laugh at how silly that pony was for misunderstanding such a simple phrase!” As everyone stared at her, trying to process her rapid-fire rambling, she added, “I mean, what else would it mean? Of course ponies were having trouble seeing!”

“Er... thank you, Pinkie,” Rarity said. She turned to my Mistress, and in her audacity, looked Her directly in the eyes without permission.

I was quite sure didn't like her.

“Well then, er, Nightmare Moon, if our friend is alright, would you mind simply trotting her out here?” My heart fluttered when she said the word “friend”—had I been her friend? Out of the aether, my pounding headache returned a thousand fold, as though part of me was desperate to break free of my own mind. I grit my teeth, determined to whether whatever weakness was making me doubt myself once again. I believed in my Mistress. I believed in Nightmare Moon.

Just as the pain became unbearable, the choker I wore pulsed with a soothing light, and the pain vanished. A slow, smooth exhale of breath I hadn't been aware I was holding followed as relief washed over my body. Those ponies were not my friends. I would never have befriended somepony who wanted to bring down Her Majesty and ruin Equestria. I put a gentle hoof to the necklace I wore; it bore Her very emblem, symbolizing Her trust in me.

“In due time,” Nightmare Moon purred. “First I must ask something of you foals.”

They all tensed, sensing the dangerous undercurrent in her words. From the shadows, I smirked. They were wise to not underestimate her; t'was a shame their wisdom did not seem to extend to whom to support as ruler.

My Mistress struck a dramatic, commanding pose, and my heart melted at the sight. She was just so perfect in every way: always strong, always in control, always kind, and always ready to help me.

If I could permit myself a touch of foolishness, I could almost call it admiration. No, admiration was too weak of a word. My whole life, I had known exactly who I wanted to be, what pony I wanted to emulate, what standard I strove for: I wanted to be just like my Mistress, the perfect princess Nightmare Moon.

One could even call it love.

Meanwhile, Nightmare Moon continued. “Will you swear loyalty to me as ruler of Equestria?” She gave them an imposing gaze, looking every inch the majestic royal prepared to offer magnanimous pardon to misguided idealists. How perfect, how without flaw, how noble she was!

“No!” they all chorused, determination carved into all their features.

I sagged. Were they really so stubborn?

“What a shame. Still, it was only a question.” My Mistress grinned anew. “I think you'll find that having me as your ruler is entirely more pleasurable than my sun-loving sister. Isn't that right, Twilight?” She cast a beckoning glance in my direction.

Nervous at being put on the spot, I walked out from the shadows, ignoring the astonished gasps from the five ponies. With precise purpose, I took my place next to Her and gazed out at the small band of rebels.

Applejack sputtered, “Twilight! You're okay!”

I shifted, uncomfortable at being addressed in such a familiar way by somepony who was the anathema of everything I stood for and loved. “Of course I am...” I said, unsure how exactly to respond to such concern from a complete stranger.

“What's that weird thing around your neck?” Pinkie Pie asked, pointing at my moon emblem torque.

I drew back, clutching at it for protection. Somehow, it felt wrong to have her even look at it. “It's a symbol of the trust and love I have for Her!” Once again, I stressed the respectful capital. I calmed myself, lowering my shaking hoof from the brooch. They seemed like rational ponies. Surely, at least one of them would have the sense to repent if I just explained things. I drew myself up, trying to look the perfect diplomat. “Look, I'm sure you all have your reasons for opposing Princess Nightmare, but please, I beg of you, reconsider.” She glanced at me askance as I said this, perhaps noting my unusual form of address in regards to Her. Somehow, staring out at these rebellious ponies, it seemed right.

“And what makes you so sure about this? Were you a spy the whole time?!” Rainbow Dash cried, pointing an accusatory hoof in my direction.

“A spy?” I shook my head. “No, I was never a spy.” I shifted closer to Her, and She wrapped a protective wing around me. Unable to help myself, I nuzzled into Her coat, blushing as I did so. I was a weak pony, but She allowed me my indulgences. I turned back to the five ponies, who seemed to look more and more stunned by the moment, their mouths agape. “I don't know what your reasons are, but I know She can deal with them! She's always treated me well, even when I was a filly.” I sighed, awash in fond memories of my days spent under her tutelage.

“I thought you said you were Princess Celestia's student?” Applejack sputtered.

“W-what? No!” I jerked away from my Mistress, fearful of her wrath if She believed them. “Please, Princess! I was never... I wouldn't...” My mouth clamped itself shut before I could babble anything else.

“She was a spy! That's all I need to hear!” Rainbow Dash launched herself forward, but even as I felt Her tense up in anticipation, Applejack bit on her tail and held her back.

“Something doesn't seem quite right here,” Rarity said. “Twilight was bent on stopping Nightmare Moon's return, and without all of us, we wouldn't have gotten this far.”

“What... what do you mean?” My headache started to return, and my vision swarm. Somehow, flickers of these ponies—traveling with them, laughing with them—were rising in my consciousness. Why did I have these false memories?! What trickery was this? If I could have, I would have vomited; thinking such disloyal thoughts towards the great pony I'd idolized my entire life made me feel ill. My Mistress' gift to me, my moon torque, glowed, and for a moment, the feeling vanished and all was well again. Moments later, the memories resurfaced, which made my nausea resurface, which made the torque glow again, which made the misery vanish, which made the memories resurface... “Stop it! Just stop!” I screamed, dropping to the floor in agony. “I don't want to be confused! I don't want to be wrong!” Tears fell from my eyes as my Mistress' gift, intended only to soothe my aches, reinforced the cycle of suffering. “Please...” I whispered, reaching a trembling hoof towards the dark figure of salvation above me. “Please... help me.”

She took my hoof with her own, causing me to shiver with pleasure in the midst of my agony. “I will.”

Such simple words, yet they held so much power. Even now, in the depths of my despair, weakness, and pain, here She was, ready to help me and support me, as She always did. I couldn't even imagine what would have happened on that day if She hadn't restrained my out-of-control magic during the exam. She had always been right there, ready to help a weak, clueless pony find her way in a big, complicated world; what had I done to deserve such indulgence? Truly, Her patience and kindness knew no bounds.

“Hey everypony, look at that weird shiny thing coming from that moon thing!” Pinkie Pie said, pointing to the precious gift She had bestowed upon me.

“That must be what's making her act all funny-like!” Applejack said. “Come on, girls—we've got to help her. We're friends, aren't we?”

A cheer of assent went up from the assembled ponies, but my mind froze on that one word: friends. Friends. Friends? Did I have friends? Were these ponies my friends? My eyes widened, shimmering with unbidden with tears I couldn't explain. “Are... are they my friends?” I whispered. Something—the beginning of something great and terrible, like a torrent of emotion—boiled up within me, like the precursor to a violent storm that yearned to explode from my body.

“No. Now sleep,” my Mistress told me. She touched her horn to mine, and over the valiant cries of the rebel ponies charging, I fell into Her element: darkness, as the feeling faded from my weary mind.

---

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a wracked form. The pony before me, floating in darkness just as I was, closely resembled my Mistress. She was blue—a lighter color than the pony I revered—and her mane was not nearly as impressive, but save for those things and her shorter stature, I could have mistaken her for Her. Even their cutie marks were the same, which was not altogether unheard of, but this many similarities almost defied belief.

She looked up with world-weary eyes and chuckled, a tinny, wasted sound that felt almost insubtantial.

“Who are you?” My curiosity was going to get me in serious trouble one of these days.

Her sunken, dull eyes regarded me with pity. “My name, Twilight Sparkle, is Luna. You've suffered a terrible fate, haven't you?”