Chapter 2
The next day, Rainbow Dash woke up late and had to rush over to town hall for their rehearsals. When she made her way in, she saw Rarity and Pinkie Pie sitting to the side while the others were seated around a table. She figured that when she hadn’t shown up, the girls had decided to practice a scene she wasn’t in.
She made her way over to Rarity and Pinkie. “Hey, guys. Sorry about that...”
Rarity gave her an ironic smirk. “I feel I should comment on the fastest pony in Equestria always being late, but I’ll forgo making any remarks.”
“Whatever.” Rainbow rolled her eyes before nodding to the group on stage. “How’s it going?”
Pinkie gave her best country-style answer. “Tarnation, pardner it’s going like a green snake in a sugarcane field!”
“Wow, so that’s … good?” Rainbow looked quickly to Rarity, who could only spread her hooves and shrug. “Oookay, how about you?”
Rarity cleared her throat. “Yes, well, I’m doing quite well. In fact it would be mendacious to say otherwise.” When Rainbow Dash just blinked at her, she elaborated. “Since Clover the Clever was known for her intelligence, I thought I’d try to improve my vocabulary to better reflect her genius.”
Dash looked unconvinced. “Huh. Sounds weird to me.”
“Really!” Rarity sniffed. “I suggest that you suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia and not be so ultra-crepidarian as to comment on another’s acting.”
Smile and nod … and back away slowly, Rainbow thought to herself as she looked to the stage. Fluttershy, Twilight and Applejack stood around a table, glowering at one another. Strange as the sight was, the things they were actually saying made it even more surreal.
“Why’re you overgrown pigeons making it snow so much?” Applejack, as Chancellor Puddinghead, demanded. “It’s so cold that we can’t grow any food—I even tried playing polka to the pansies! And my poor trout bushes have never looked worse…”
From offstage Pinkie Pie grumbled. “Being funny doesn’t just mean putting random words together … doggone it.”
“Call us pigeons again, mud-for-brains, and see where that gets you.” Fluttershy growled. “And get it through your thick dirt-loving heads—we aren’t doing anything wrong!” She cast a look over at Twilight. “I can’t speak for the pinheads though…”
Twilight huffed, her nose pointed straight up in the air. “As Princess, I can assure that we unicorns are not responsible for this calamity either and I resent your insinuations to the contrary. Your crudity has not assisted these proceedings nor made it easier to find a resolution.”
With a contemptuous roll of her eyes, Fluttershy sat back down and crossed her forelegs over her chest. “You want respect? How about if you stop hoarding all the food! My pegasi are going hungry and we’re the ones who keep us safe from dragons and other monsters while you’re sitting back and getting fat!” She tilted her head meaningfully to the other leaders’ flanks.
Outrage greeted her words. “Are you crazy?!” Applejack protested. “Wait, no, that’s me. But still! We can’t grow food if we have to burrow through all this snow! Have you ever seen a mole with a garden? I sure haven’t—and I’ve looked!”
Twilight looked equally scandalized, enough to break character. “Um, maybe you could think about altering your dialogue a little, Fluttershy? I—I’d really rather not have everypony in the audience looking at my flank…or even thinking about it.” She checked her rear, trying to reassure herself that it wasn’t too big.
“We’re supposed to be the leaders of ponykind.” Fluttershy said firmly. “Do you really think Commander Hurricane would mince words just because it might possibly hurt somepony’s feelings—with the fate of the world on the line?”
Applejack looked uneasy. “Still, maybe you could just—”
“If—if it’s for the sake of historical accuracy,” Twilight bit her lip. “Then I guess I can deal with it. I mean, it is a play after all. Plus I’ll be wearing a cape.”
“Are you sure?” Applejack asked. “Cuz if you aren’t—”
Fluttershy interrupted. “Twilight said she was okay with it … and we still need to get through this scene.”
Twilight nodded. Applejack sat back in her seat. “Alright then…so, uh, kumquats?” She fidgeted in her seat until she felt obliged to elaborate. “S’how I get in character! I think of Pinkie saying the most crazy thing I can think of and going from there.”
“Okay…” Fluttershy coughed. “So, it’s time for your ponies to pull their flabby weight around here! We pegasi deserve more of the food in order to keep you all safe!”
“We can’t grow enough crops for our families, let alone the rest of you!” Applejack protested. “Besides, if it wasn’t for us earth ponies, you would’ve all starved a long time ago! Farming’s hard work, that’s why we should keep whatever’s left!” She looked to Twilight. “Why don’t you unicorns just magic up more food for you and the pegasi?”
“Because Starswirls’ Fourth Law of Thautodynamics…” Twilight began before catching herself, her ear lowering. “Sorry,” she coughed before tilting her head back and sniffing snootily. “I mean, any unicorn child could tell you that it’s impossible to simply make food—or anything else—out of nothing. Were that possible, we’d have long since given you both a brain to fill the empty cavities that houses your eyes.”
Fluttershy slammed a hoof on the table, making the others practically leap in the air. “Nopony talks that way to the Commander of Pegasopolis! Watch it or else we’re going to have to take this outside.”
“Oh, a duel! Snowballs at ten paces!” Applejack looked excited. “Wait, no … it’s too cold. All the snow is frozen together like ice. Nevermind, I’m out of ideas.”
“What do you call an earth pony with no ideas?” Fluttershy asked rhetorically before giving her own answer. “Gifted!”
Twilight shook her head. “I’ve had enough. When you addlepated dullards wish to discuss the matter of saving ponykind, I will deign you with my presence, and not before.” Her stomach ruined her queenly demeanor and she chuckled sheepishly. “Sorry.”
“How about we all take a break for lunch?” Applejack got up and stretched. “Ah’m so hungry I could eat my hat.” She looked up at her pudding filled hat. “Come to think of it…”
“No eating the costumes.” Rarity said firmly, shooting her a warning look as the others joined them. “I already had this conversation with Pinkie.”
Pinkie pouted. “You nibble on some edible lingerie once and nopony ever lets you forget it…”
Rarity grit her teeth. “Except those weren’t the edible ones.”
“Silly Rarity. If I ate them, they were edible.” Pinkie patted her friend’s head. “Otherwise, I couldn't have eaten them.” Rarity facehooved. “Do you think you could make a vest for Smart Cookie out of gingerbread? I still can’t believe a pony named Smart Cookie doesn’t even get to wear any cookies! It’s just common sense! It’s as plain as the nose on an antelope’s canterlope!”
Nopony quite knew what to make of that.
“Country expressions aren’t your strong suit, Pinkie.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “Y’might wanna try something else t’get into character. In mah case, I think of two things that have nothing in common and then slap ‘em together in a sentence! Like, uh…” she tapped her hoof against the floor. “How about them waffle fish? They’re sure hard to hang on to—especially once you add the syrup!”
With a martyred sigh, Pinkie shook her head. “Applejaaack, that’s not being quirky or off-beat. That’s just being weird for the sake of being weird.” Applejack’s incredulous gaze said it all.
“I wish I could figure out what makes a down-old country pony like Smart Cookie tick.”
“S’easy!” Applejack exclaimed. “But the first thing you gotta do is sound the part. Now, you know the way Ah talk?”
Pinkie Pie tilted her head. “What way?”
Now it was everypony’s turn to look incredulous. Applejack coughed. “Well, mah … shoot ya know.”
“No, I don’t. What do you mean?”
“Mah dulcet tones?” When Pinkie just blinked in confusion, Applejack prodded her a little more. “My vernacular? My u-nique method of artic-u-lation?”
Pinkie’s eyes widened in understanding. “Ooooh, I get it! You mean your funny accent!” Rainbow Dash cracked up.
Applejack fumed. “Ah do not have a funny accent!”
“So it’s a boring accent?” Pinkie scratched her head. “That’s no fun.”
“Ah ain’t got any kinda accent, you--” Applejack facehooved, grumbling.
Pinkie patted her head comfortingly, inadvertently knocking her hat over her eyes. “You should listen to me, Applejack. Smart Cookie’s one smart cookie and so am I!” She quickly put on a pair of glasses and sat down, her head resting on her hoof as she sat in a pondering pose. “Chancellor, I think we should do something super-smarty, but I’ll say it with more ridiculous country-isms than a hound dog in a henhouse.”
“Oh yeah?” Applejack willed her eyes to cross and began to hop around like she was on a sugar rush. “Boy howdy do Ah love bein' weird! Ain't nothin' I that's gotta make a lick of sense, but everypony'll love me anyway! Ah can even just say total nonsense just to make ponies laugh! Broccoli eating weasels! With chainsaws! On an island! With the Skipper! Y'all laughin yet?”
Pinkie gasped. “Nonono you can’t just say any old thing! You have to make sense with your nonsense, Applejack!”
“Well you can’t be a farm pony just by saying any-old ridiculous country expression, doggone it!” Applejack stomped her hoof.
“Oh yeah?” Pinkie dove behind a curtain, emerging a heartbeat later with a ragged straw hat and a pair of overalls. “Ah like droopy drawers!”
Twilight’s stomach rumbled again, quickly echoed by Fluttershy’s. “Maybe we should--I mean, we should get something to eat.” Fluttershy said firmly, heading for the door without even waiting for the others, who scrambled to catch up.
“We could go to Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie pronked forward. “I’ve been working on a new cake recipe that has cinnamon, vanilla, strawberry and some of Maud’s special corundum flakes!”
Applejack tossed her own suggestion in. “Granny Smith’s been baking some pies for the country fair, I’m sure she’s got a few extra for us to--”
“There’s a new restaurant I’ve been meaning to visit.” Fluttershy spoke over her. “Let’s eat there.”
“Those all sound like good ideas.” Twilight suggested. “Maybe we should talk about--”
Once again, Fluttershy interrupted. “I wanted to go last week but we went to Sugarcube Corner instead. This time we’ll go to the new place.”
“You did?” Rarity asked. “I’m sorry, we didn’t know. You didn’t say anything--”
“Which is why I’m saying it now.” Fluttershy looked at them firmly, then began heading to the restaurant, not looking back to see if they were coming with her or not. After a brief moment, amid some confused glances to one another, her friends began to follow her.
The train to Canterlot chugged along, the falling snow whirling around the windows and slowing them down. But the cabins were warm and cozy. The group had managed to get one entirely to themselves and so had plenty of space to get in some more rehearsing and, in Rarity’s case, work on the costumes.
Rainbow Dash was idly looking through a Wonderbolt magazine when Twilight walked past, her saddlebags brimming with books. She couldn’t help commenting, “You do realize that there are books in Canterlot, right?”
“Oh, I do!” Twilight beamed, clearly finding book-filled saddlebags a comfortable and familiar weight. “I was just going to talk to Rarity about Clover the Clever.”
“I thought you didn’t want to play her,” Rainbow set her magazine aside. “Having second thoughts?”
Twilight shook her head. “No, I’m not. But even if I’m not playing Clover the Clever, I can still help Rarity familiarize herself with the part! I read four major biographies of Clover as well as her diary. I also made some additions to Rarity’s dialogue to better match Clover’s vocabulary, as well as to let the audience know about some of her other accomplishments.”
“Seriously?” Rainbow shook her head and sat back down as Twilight made her way over to Rarity, who was wearing her work glasses and a look of utmost concentration on her face.
She was so focused on her work that it took Rarity a moment to realize Twilight was waiting on her. “Oh, hello Twilight. Pardon me, I was just making some minor adjustments to our costumes.”
“Adjustments?” Twilight tilted her head. “I didn’t think our measurements was that different.” She tentatively poked her own belly before turning to judge if her rump had gotten bigger. Rarity waved off her fears with a chortle.
“Oh goodness, no. Never fear, your figure is quite lovely and very in-shape for a pony who spends most of her days reading.” Twilight almost objected to that last comment, but saw the barely hidden grin on Rarity’s face and realized that she was being teased. Rarity tittered. “Sorry darling, but I simply couldn’t resist. In any case, I’m not letting them out or anything. No, I’m simply improving on the designs a little.”
That drew Twilight up short. “Improving?”
“Of course,” Rarity nodded distractedly as she waved a hoof at the outfits she had delicately laid out on some empty seats. “Now, the craftsmareship is quite lovely but some of their choices could use some updating.”
“But, they were designed to look period specific—to look as much like the actual outfits worn by Princess Platinum and Clover the Clever!” Twilight protested.
Rarity looked practically pained. “Twilight darling—historical accuracy is all well and good, but this is a pageant. We’re putting on a show, and if we don’t look good, the message doesn’t look good.”
“But what’s the point of looking good if the message has been altered?” Twilight countered.
“How good would it look during the performance if we had to stop every few moments to scratch our bums because our ‘historically accurate’ wool outfits itch worse than poison ivy?” Rarity responded, quirking an elegant eyebrow for emphasis.
“But you have such an eye for detail!” Twilight exclaimed. “How can you be okay with this?”
Rarity nodded. “That’s precisely why I wish to change things. See this stitch here? It’s too restrictive on a pony like you and could tear if you make too sudden a gesture. And that bolt of fabric is too close to the color of your coat—nopony would even realize you were wearing anything!” She set her working glasses down. “I realize this isn’t something that you’re used to, but perception and presentation matters. It affects how one receives a message. If you show up looking like you were just dragged through a mud puddle, your audience would be distracted and focus more on that then whatever you were talking about.”
“But if you change the outfits from what they’re expecting to something new, won’t that distract them too?” Twilight pointed out. “You’d be placing the appearance over the message. Since the dialogue changes with each performance, that makes it even more important for everything else--the sets, the props, the costumes--to be the same so the audience is grounded in something familiar.” Rarity winced causing Twilight to pause. “You’re changing more than the costumes are you?”
“Some of the props are so old and tacky--they were just begging for an update!” Rarity hurriedly explained.
Twilight shook her head. “No no no, you can’t do that! You can’t just change everything!”
“I just reworked your crown a little!” Rarity eagerly lifted up Platinum’s crown, now enlarged and encrusted with jewels. It caught the light and refracted it into everypony’s eyes, blinding them.
Rainbow Dash threw her wings up to block the light. “Whoa! Turn down the bling, Rarity!”
Pinkie Pie yelped as she covered her eyes. “It burns like a dragon in a cider flagon, consarn it!” Applejack’s glower was ruined by her eyes watering.
Thinking quickly, Twilight used her magic to draw the blinds, cutting off the light. After waiting for the spots in her vision to fade, Twilight looked back to Rarity and the crown. “Rarity, that doesn’t look anything Princess Platinum’s crown. It’s been recorded in dozens of sketches and carvings from the period.” She blinked as she got a better look at it. “I don’t even think Princess Celestia’s crown has that many jewels in it!”
Rarity pursed her lips. “Twilight, I’m aware this may not be the most, hrm, accurate of props but it’s designed to compliment your appearance and costume. I carefully designed it to convey the regal splendor that Platinum possessed.” Her expression softened. “Part of being in a play is to become larger than life, to step into a role thoroughly outside your norm and inspire others through your acting.”
Twilight shook her head. “But this isn’t a made up play! It’s a historical re-enactment!”
“A re-enactment where we’re coming up with our own dialogue because nopony knows what was actually said.” Rarity pointed out wryly. “Some liberties are inherent in the nature of the work.”
“That doesn’t give us a license to change things we know for a fact!” Twilight countered. “Like your dialogue…”
Rarity huffed. “What about my dialogue? It’s inspired!”
“It could use a bit of adjusting,” Twilight allowed diplomatically. “You’re just using impressive sounding words out of context—most of them weren’t even used in this time period! That doesn’t make you sound clever, it makes you sound--well, pretentious.”
Rarity waved her hoof. “Darling, you’re being disingenuous. I’m employing the appropriate vernacular for somepony of Clover the Clever’s intellect. That way I can highlight the capriciousness nature of the, um, quid pro quo that marked by acrimony between the ponies in the days of yore.”
Twilight wore an expression that spoke of deep, personal pain. “No. Just … just no.” She sighed. “Starswirl the Bearded once said that the most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do. Now, I made some notes based on her syntax and grammar style, complete with period-accurate words...”
“Words that nopony who isn’t a scholar will know?” Rarity quirked her brow before sighing. “Twilight, I appreciate your dedication to your vision of historical accuracy—but in my experience, sometimes the customer isn’t always right. Sometimes I have a pony come into my shop with their own idea for an outfit that—for whatever reason—simply cannot work. Thus, I have to use my own creative judgment to determine how to best achieve the result they truly desire. I think the same applies here as well.”
Twilight shook her head severely. "I hardly think there's anything wrong with being historically accurate. Not to mention we're preserving the historical memory of Equestria. We can't feed ponies lies about the founding of our nation."
“Twilight…” Rarity’s eye twitched ever so slightly. “I’m sure you’re just trying to help, but I do feel like I should remind you that I did give up the role of Princess Platinum to you because you wanted to trade. I think it’s a bit … late to quibble about the details of how I choose to perform the role you gave up?”
But Twilight looked equally irked. “If it’s too late for me to give you advice on how to accurately portray Clover, then maybe it’s too late for you to make additions to Princess Platinum’s historical outfits.”
Rainbow Dash walked over and spread her wings between them. “Whoa, whoa whoa--easy ladies.” She looked over to the others, but Applejack and Pinkie Pie were busy with their own argument over how to be random and country-like. She then walked over to Fluttershy, who had remained seated throughout the whole argument, idly flipping through a book. “Hey Fluttershy, back me up here?”
Fluttershy looked up, her face impassive. “Why? If they want to bicker like foals, why not let them?” She turned back to her book, idly flipping a page. “It’s not my job to play peacemaker every time there’s some petty squabble.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened, rocking back on her hooves. “Um, what?”
Huffing slightly, Fluttershy slammed her book closed. “Honestly!” She frowned. “You think there’s something wrong with me because I’m not whimpering and curled up in a corner because somepony raised their voice, isn’t it?” She stood up. “Maybe I’m tired of being whiny and scared. And if you don’t like it--well,” she struggled for a moment. “That’s just too bad!” Fluttershy hopped off her seat. “I’m going to the sleeping cabin, but first I’m going to find the conductor and give him a piece of my mind about these uncomfortable seats!” With that, she stormed out of the cabin, slamming the door closed behind her.
Rainbow was left blinking in confused silence as her friends continued to obliviously bicker around her.
Stats
Page generated in 0.018 seconds
Total duration
968 users online
446,108 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
...Nopony else found that odd?
One cup of Method Acting, a pinch of I'm Right, mix slowly into the Bickering Batter and wallah your dish is ready to bake.
6891925 Nope, I found it odd too.
And Fluttershy's "method acting" may be going a bit overboard ...
(It was still great to see her stand up to Angle Bunny, last chapter)
As someone who spent many years working on plays I can honestly say that the play will be a disaster. If your actors don't get along and cooperate, you're headed for doom. Good luck, Dashie.
6892151
It was because the others didn't hear Fluttershy. They were busy arguing themselves.
Oh, dear. This is going to end badly. Very badly. If not, it'll have been nothing short of a Hearths-Warming miracle.
...and I get that it's kind of the point of the chapter, but it was really cringe-worthy, and it was hard for me to willingly read it.
Par for the Dashverse course it is!
I think Rarity got the best of Twilight in that argument. I also think Applejack seems to be doing a better Puddinghead than Pinkie is doing with Smart Cookie.
However, everyone, except Rainbow apparently, has gone a step or two too far.
It's rough when even your friends see you as a one-dimensional stereotype!
Rainbow Dash seems to be the only one capturing the essence of her opposite number without exaggerating her traits. I guess that's because she has a lot of faith in Fluttershy.
Oh, not good when everyone is going too deeply into their roles like this.
6893035
but twilight had a couple of good points as well props take the items rarity worked on. the cloak is fine bcause it's minor simply just we-work some stitches (especially if it looks like your skin tone) but as long as it's minor most people including historians and the director won't care. however the crown, everyone would throw away becuase it one: does not fit the time period. and two: would cause issue with the play being too reflective and possibly blinding everyone.
so in essence they are both right.