Do Remember Who’s The Expert Here
A New Element of Harmony
Do Remember Who’s The Expert Here
Ponyville. A peaceful little town/village that normally would be seen as a quaint and isolated getaway vacation spot with friendly locals. However, it’s also home to many terrors, and home to the 7 Elements of Harmony and their Bearers. In short… my kind of place to live. Unfortunately, peace always has a fun way of being disturbed. Take for example, your friends dragging you out of bed so that you can visit another friend who’s busy with their work. In short, my wake-up call, as I was dragged out of bed by an uber-excited Pinkie and a giggle from AJ, Dash, Fluttershy, and Twilight, who looked like they got the same kind of wake-up call, but managed to fix themselves along the way. Interestingly, Rarity was not the one to do this, as she was the one busy working.
“Come on come on come on come on!” Pinkie bounced impatiently as I groggily got up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes.
“Wuzz goin’ on? Fi’ht?” I mumbled out as I began to wake up more and more.
“Nah, though I wish, cause that would be awesome!” I heard Dash complain before she explained, “We’re going over to Rarity’s to look at some fancy-smancy dresses for the Triple G.”
“She sang a song and everything too!” Pinkie added in, bouncing now excitedly.
“She’s also made you a tuxedo for the Gala as well, Medley. And before you can refuse, it’s far too late now and she’s already made it along with our dresses,” Twilight smiled a bit.
“Oh alright. Can I at least get myself through a shower and clean myself up a little?” I caved in from the puppy dog eyes I was starting to get from all the girls. Even Dash and AJ got in on the act, and I swear they did it just to make sure I would agree.
I made it through my routine pretty fast for a normal day and we all eventually headed out to Rarity’s boutique. We made some small conversation on the way, but it all came to an end once we reached Rarity’s place, with Rarity standing outside looking ecstatic.
“Oh I’m so glad you girls and Medley could come along! Now you get to see your new outfits!~” Rarity sang as she put blindfolds over us and led us up to her designing room.
When she took off our blindfolds, we all looked over the outfits, completely stunned at what we saw. I have to admit, I don’t have an eye for fashion at all, but even I could tell that these were quite exquisite pieces. AJ’s looked like a more formal version of her usual get-up, with a saddle and tassels included. Twilight’s looked like it had stars literally stitched on around the edges of the almost cape-like dress. Fluttershy’s reminded me of a Poison Ivy type outfit, though a lot more modest and brighter. Dash’s was made fit for a goddess, with a rainbow style dress almost arching along with a victory laurel. Pinkie’s… really, it was like a formal chocolatier's uniform, with sweets placed all around the brim and designs on the bottom of the dress.
My attire, I think, took the cake. Then again, it was MY outfit, so bias beware. It wasn’t like a normal tuxedo, and I got the feeling Rarity wouldn’t settle for that at all. It was ultra formal, with a black coat tailed outer vest, a forest green for the middle piece, making it accented with a grey business vest underneath as the final piece. It also had a red bowtie, a sleek black top hat, and some black formal footwear to complete the set. The designs on the coat tails looked like a treble note and bass note, one on either side that almost looked like my cutie mark was cut down the middle and split. There was also a small pin that had my cutie mark on in on one of the outer vest pockets.
“Aren’t they all amazing?” Rarity looked expectantly at us.
What she got in return, however, were 6 stunned faces and a very awkward pause as we tried to find the words to speak. Eventually, Twilight spoke up.
“Wow…” Twilight began with an awkward smile. “They’re…”
“Yeah! They’re…” Dash tried to continue with that statement, but failed.
“They sure are… uh... Somethin’, “ AJ didn’t help to clarify at all.
“Yes! Something!” Twilight looked like she was saved, though I just raised an eyebrow and she wilted a bit.
“I love something!” Pinkie looked like she had that same kind of smile Twilight had. “Something is my favorite!”
“It’s… nice…” Fluttershy looked saddened by what she saw.
“Well, I think that they look very… unique,” I smiled as I winced at not really helping the situation, or at least the situation I thought was happening.
Rarity looked crestfallen as she tilted her head in confusion as asked politely, “What’s the matter? Don’t you like them?”
The tension in the room just increased from there, as everypony began to shift their eyes away from Rarity, especially AJ.
“They’re very nice,” Twilight responded, trying to keep up her smile.
“And we’re plum grateful ‘cause you worked so hard on ‘em,” AJ kept the awkward train rolling.
“Mine’s just not as cool as I would imagine,” Rainbow finally derailed it, as AJ, Twilight and I gave her a glare, to which she defended to herself, “She asked.”
“I guess what we’re all saying is…” Twilight tried to find the right words.
“Well, what these girls are thinking at any rate. I know I really love the design. Especially how you used my cutie mark, that’s ingenious!” I sincerely complimented her as the other girls (except Rarity, who smiled and waved a hoof, blushing lightly) gave me a strange look before shaking their heads and continuing on.
“They just weren’t what we had in mind,” Twilight finished as Rarity went back to her crushed state at the other girls not being impressed.
As the other girls agreed, Rarity tried to bring herself back up to a happy state, but I could still see some sadness that refused to leave her in her eyes. She eventually spoke up again.
“That’s OK… Not a problem… There’s plenty more where that came from. They’re only a first pass. You’re my friends and I want you to be 110% satisfied!” Rarity reassured everypony. “Not to worry, I’ll redo them!”
“Rarity, please don’t try if you need to. They look marvelous already,” I tried to reason with her, but it seemed it wasn’t going through to her.
“While I would agree a bit, I don’t mind doing this, especially if I want them to be better than marvelous. I want all of you to be absolutely perfect!” Rarity smiled as she put away the previous attire.
“Are you sure? We wouldn’t want to be a bother…” Fluttershy meekly asked.
“Oh, it’s no problem. Really, I do insist!” Rarity sounded a bit more forceful as she put down more attire and gave a determined smile at all of us.
“Well, in that case… Thank you again Rarity!” Twilight thanked Rarity as the girls headed outside, with me staying behind.
“Don’t worry dear, you can go on, I’ll make sure these dresses and your suit are absolutely fabulous!” Rarity waved a hoof at me as she pulled down materials to sew with.
“Rarity, I liked mine just the way it was. There’s no need to imp-” I was cut off by a glare by her.
“Tell me what you can think of to improve yours since you’re still here,” Rarity demanded, completely ignoring my statement.
I sighed and told her a couple of things I could think of off the top of my head and helpfully made a list so that she could check and see if they were completed. She smiled tightly and nodded, forcefully shooing me off with her magic as she got to work. The odd thing was, she told me to check in with the Ponyville General Hospital for any sign of sickness before making me leave. I was very confused, but shrugged and went off to the hospital to check for any diseases, hoping she didn’t stress herself too badly in remaking the dresses.
It took a while, especially with the other girls stopping by and ‘helping’ Rarity with their personal dresses. I made sure to at least check in on her every other day to see how well she was doing and for her to take a small break and just relax. But finally, she said that the dresses and tuxedo were finally done and that I could get the girls. We all soon gathered, the girls eagerly anticipating theirs while I had on a blank expression, not really liking that I was forced to change something that I truly was fine with.
“OK girls… And Medley. I did EXACTLY what each of you asked for. Now, don’t hold back! Let me know what you think!” Rarity pulled aside a curtain, revealing the new… designs?
Oh dear LaurFastia. While the girls were busy gushing over their dresses, my eyes slowly widened a bit, which anypony could mistake it for awe, when in fact it was sheer terror. What in Tartarus were the girls thinking? What the bucking Tartarus was I thinking?! I was starting to agree with Opal, who was glaring and hissing a bit at the new disasters of fashion.
“It’s exactly what I asked for!” The girls cried out in joy as I mouthed the words in horror.
Rarity gave a sigh of relief as Twilight thanked Rarity once more. Then Pinkie asked the question i was figuring the answer too, and it wasn’t a good one either.
“Are you as happy with the dresses and suit as we are, huh, huh?” Pinkie rapid-fire asked as Rarity blanched a bit (impressive with a white coat).
“Well… I’m happy, that all of you are happy,” Rarity evaded the question a bit, but I didn’t blame her as I was transfixed with the flawed designs. “I’m just relieved to finally be done, especially since I had to take a break here and there thanks to Medley.”
As the girls turned to look at me, Spike opened the door and caught his breath, diverting the attention away from me.
“You are never gonna believe this!” Spike announced, “You’ve heard of Hoity Toity?”
“The bigwig fashion hotshot in Canterlot?” Twilight wanted to clarify as both Rarity and I started having looks of dread.
“Uh-huh! He heard about your fashion show! Well, maybe I mentioned it to him… Anyways, he’s coming here, all the way from Canterlot just to see your show, Rarity!”
“Whoa nelly!” AJ was very surprised as she turned to face Rarity, stating, “You could sell alotta dresses and tuxes ta this guy! Yer business would be boomin’ in no time!”
Rarity gave an awkward smile as she looked at all of us as I started to pale, not noticeably though. This would do the complete opposite and probably ruin her for good in the fashion world to show off these dresses. However, I didn’t know what to do in this situation, so I just had to hope he cancelled at the last minute due to celebrity reasons.
Unfortunately, it seemed that luck was against us this time, as it as late evening and the crowd was starting to gather. It got noticeably quieter from behind the curtain near the start of the show, so I assumed that Hoity Toity had indeed shown up to watch this fashion disaster waiting to happen. I was trying not to just make a break for it and hope no one saw me, but I knew better than to try my luck at the moment. I had just finished putting on all the pieces of my design when the music started to play and I sighed a bit, hoping it was better in the light than it was in the dark.
When the curtain opened and I stepped out with my friends, I could immediately tell that it was not the case at all, for anypony. Twilight had a dress that seemed to be made of constellations from the night sky (most likely accurate too) along with a headband made of stars. Pinkie’s looked like a giant cupcake in all forms, which included a giant, most likely edible, cupcake as her hat, as well as some party balloons tied to her tail. Dash looked the least cringe-worthy out of all of us, but she still seemed to be like a windblown rainbow pretending to be a deity. Fluttershy looked like a caricature of nature, with a bird’s nest as a hat, two petal rings on her neck, and neon green floral patterns on her dress. AJ’s was… a very fancy version of her regular working outfit, with bright colors clashing against one another, mainly the red and yellow.
As for me, it was as if two different ponies were trying to make a costume and literally split it down the middle. One half was like a fashionable hobo, with stylized rips and tears along side it, with half a snowcap on top of it, completely colored red. This totally went against the other side, with was like a lawyer’s regular outfit, except a sky blue color, even the half of a fedora sitting on the other side of the head. I was completely embarrassed of what I was enduring, which wasn’t helped by the crowd’s completely stunned and disgusted looks.
“Do you think we overdid it?” Dash whispered to us, the audience drowning out the sound to themselves as we gave ourselves a once-over.
AJ shook her head and replied, “Nah,” before looking at her outfit and quickly rescinded it with a, “OK, maybe we did.”
“I didn’t even ask for this one! I was just fine with the stuff we had before you girls insisted on changes,” I muttered, the girls giving me an angry look.
At that point, I just simply shut my mouth and dealt with the scorn and horror of the crowd before happily getting behind the curtain and getting out of the atrocity. I was just about to throw it away, but some part of me disagreed and it ended slipping into my saddlebags without the girls noticing.
We all met up near Rarity’s place and went up to her door, Pinkie knocking on it.
“Rarity? You in there? Are you alright? You haven’t come out for days!” Pinkie worriedly asked, surprisingly not being too blunt for once.
“I’m never coming out!” Rarity responded dramatically, continuing with, “I can’t show my face in Ponyville ever again! I used to be somepony! I used to be respected! I made dresses, beautiful, beautiful dresses! But now… everypony is laughing at me! I’m nothing but a laughingstock!”
As Rarity went into a small bit of hysterics, we all shook our heads a bit at her usual melodrama. Though this time, I would admit that it was a little bit warranted, considering she showcased her worst designs in history to somepony important from Canterlot. I was also silently thanking LaurFastia that Celestia or Luna didn’t attend as well. Those results would have been more catastrophic.
“You’re not a laughingstock Rarity,” Twilight tried to soothe Rarity a bit.
“She kinda is!” Dash blurted out, to which she got a glare from Twilight before Twilight tried again.
“Come on out and talk to us,” Twilight pleaded.
“Leave me alo-o-o-o-one! I want to be alone! I want to wallow in… Whatever ponies are supposed to wallow in!” Rarity cried as she went on this vein of pity and logic, “Do ponies wallow in pity? Listen to me, I don’t even know what I’m supposed to wallow in! I-I’m so pathe-e-e-etic!”
“Well, now what do we do?” I asked as we listened to her wail and cry.
“Um… Panic?” Fluttershy meekly offered, much to our non-surprise.
“That’s your answer for everything!” Dash shook her head in annoyance.
“Well, we can’t just leave Rarity like this!” AJ called out, pointing at the door with a hoof.
“She’ll become a crazy cat mare!” Pinkie cried in horror as we gave her an odd look and a small scowl.
“She only has ONE cat,” Twilight pointed out.
“S̕hȩ ͝c̸a͜n e̡asil̸y҉ ̴rem̶e͡d̡y̵ ̡t̸ha͜t ̡p̕r̛o͠bl̶e͢m.”
“And for land’s sake Med, git to the hospital already!” AJ gave me a glare now as I returned it.
“I already have. There’s nothing wrong with me.” I angrily replied, “Plus, I still didn’t say anything at all!”
“Quiet you two! You’re both acting like little foals,” Twilight shushed us as she looked into the keyhole and she looked like she struck upon an idea.
We came by during the night to quickly sneak off what looked like Rarity’s dress for the Gala and the plans to go with it. The girls did the actual work on it, I was to be the morale supporter, as apparently they didn’t trust me with any of the fabric or other accessories, which was probably a good idea. It was late morning before the girls were finally done, and I would have to admit, it was breathtakingly beautiful.
We had Dash pick up Opal and put her up in a tree so that Rarity would actually have to leave the house. We all stood in front of the mannequin holding the dress so that the surprise wasn’t ruined as Rarity bolted out the door towards Dash.
“Rainbow Dash?! How dare you leave my poor Opal in a tree!” Rarity scolded Dash, who still kept up her smirk.
“Well, how else were we gonna get you out here to show you… this!” Dash pointed her head at us, as we stepped off to the side, revealing the dress in it’s full and finished glory.
We all smiled and hid some giggles and chuckles as Rarity tried to find words as she tried to comprehend what she was seeing. After a small moment, Pinkie spoke up, explaining what we had done.
“We all finished our dress for you!” Pinkie simplified in a short and sweet sentence.
(Aw, thanks Mr. Writer! Hehe, sweet?) (Pinkie! Get back in the story! Please?) (Oh alright, but seriously, what’s up with Med? Is he-)
“Thanks ta Fluttershy’s freaky knowledge of sewing, Twilight keepin’ track of stuff and plans and Med’s singin’, we got this done lickety-split for ya!” AJ answered the unasked question.
“Do… Do you like it?” Fluttershy asked with a hopeful tone of voice.
“Like it?” Rarity asked as she inspected the dress, repeating, “Like it?”
“Oh no… She doesn’t like it…” Fluttershy started to get saddened as we all started to worry a bit.
“No, I don’t like it,” Rarity declared, causing us all to sigh with sadness, before she grinned and turned around to face us, continuing with, “I love it!”
This instantly turned our moods a full 180, causing everypony to cheer.
“You ponies did an amazing job! It’s exactly the way I imagined it!” Rarity smiled at us as she took another look at the dress.
“They just kept me out of the way as they followed the plan under Twilight’s guidance,” I chuckled a bit, as Rarity and the girls giggled at the small joke.
“We should’ve followed your guidance when you thought of the perfect dresses for us,” Twilight looked guilty as she went on, “Those first dresses you made for us were perfect. Medley’s tuxedo was perfect as well, though I don’t know why he wanted changes to his at all when he said right from the beginning he was happy with his.”
“That’s the thing Twilight: I DON’T know why. Especially when Rarity asked me to visit the hospital for anything wrong with me. For that, I have to apologize as well, to ask making another tuxedo for me when it was clear the first one was magnificent,” I looked down in shame.
“We’re super sorry about this…” Pinkie apologized as the girls did what I was doing, except Rainbow, who flew down with Opal on her back.
“You worked REALLY hard on those dresses for us and tux for Med here exactly how we wanted them. We all saw how well THAT turned out,” Dash looked guilty as well now as Opal jumped onto Rarity’s back.
“Oh, I forgive you… All of you,” Rarity smiled as she approached us, our faces a little lighter now.
“Well, that’s mighty big of ya,” AJ started before she was cut off by Rarity melodrama.
“But my whole career is still in ruins!” Rarity cried, pointing out that not everything was fixed.
“Oh… yeah…” AJ lamely said, looking downtrodden.
“Don’t worry Rarity. I still had some influence in Canterlot. I went and see if Hoity Toity could come back for a redo. Turns out… he could,” I smirked a bit as everyone looked over at Hoity Toity, who had just arrived.
“Alright, I haven’t got all day,” Hoity Toity impatiently asked as we all quickly hurried inside, looking a lot more eager than the last time we did this.
Once Rarity got the show underway, it was like… well, it’d be bad to say night and day, especially with the two rulers of Equestria, but it’s the one that best fit. Instead of having a runway during the late evening, it was a stage inside the boutique, with all other sources of light cut off as Rarity used some magic to create some pretty good illusions as backdrops for each pony. I could hear Hoity Toity getting more and more impressed as each of us came on.
For my part, Rarity used a simple bar line being made in the air, piece by piece, as I sang each note with crystal clarity, landing in a pose that showed off every part of my outfit.
“Now this brings back memories of your symphonies Mr. Royalwind! Simply spectacular!” Hoity Toity cried out as we seamlessly moved on to the next pony.
At the end of the show, we had clearly changed Hoity Toity’s mind, as he was clapping and cheering on Rarity, who thanked him repeatedly. Before he left, he pulled me off to the side to talk for a little bit, as I took off my tuxedo.
“That was definitely worth the return trip here. However, I still want some compensation. I’m a busy stallion after all,” Hoity Toity asked me once I was fully out of the tuxedo.
“Of course. However, I have one more favor to ask. You do it, and I can see you having the best seats in the house for my grand opening at the Gala this year,” I smirked a bit, though inside I felt sick at having to bribe and bargain with any noble from Canterlot, even one of the newer ones like Hoity Toity himself.
He looked very interested as he leaned in a bit closer to hear and asked, “And what might that be? Do remember that it’s a public concert with nothing but the best musicians from across Canterlot.”
“Ah, but not the opening. You can thank Celestia for that. This year, musicians will be playing in the background for most of the Gala, but about an hour in, those who can buy tickets will be treated to a private concert. With nothing but the songs handpicked by said best musicians and with me as the singer. You do remember how well I sang?” I raised an eyebrow and chuckled a bit, as did Hoity Toity.
“Very well then. What’s the favor?” Hoity Toity asked.
“You know that my career was almost destroyed that faithful night? Well, it seems an trial is coming around and I’m going to see myself winning this. What won’t hurt me however is to have an upstanding stallion like yourself along with a few other nobles defending me,” I laid it out plainly.
“Hm… if you win, this could be another boost to me standing, not to mention those tickets. And from what I saw that night, you might win this in a landslide,” Hoity Toity thought about it for a moment before nodding, “I agree to the favor. Now, I must be off. Give Celestia’s pupil my regards as well as Ms. Rarity. Audieu.”
I sighed in relief once he had left for good this time. All I needed to do now was to get the tickets and get a few more nobles on my side to secure my vote. However, with a case as easy as this, all I really would need is just another family or two. Still, politics are a pain in the rear to deal with, and I had no interest in doing this ever again. Then again, knowing my luck… well, I would complain about it if the time came.
We all put away our Gala clothing in a special storage room so that they would remain in perfect condition when the time came. The girls said their goodnights to me and the others and ent on their way. I was about to do the same, but I was soon stopped by Rarity, who looked a little flustered.
“I want to thank you Medley. For both helping me with my stress when the girls insisted on new designs and for helping me get my career back up to where it was. This might have possibly even boosted it,” Rarity thanked me.
“It was no problem at all, Rarity. Besides, I understand how it is to be a professional and have others with less knowledge try to improve it. DO remember my singing career and job,” I grinned and chuckled a bit.
Rarity giggled a bit as well as she unexpectedly gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me, “Still, you helped me out, being generous enough to spend some time destressing me. I’ll make sure that you and Twilight get a dance together during the Gala as a way to repay you.”
My face must’ve been a sight to behold as Rarity started laughing and shooed me out the door before I could respond. I stumbled back home in a daze, not knowing what had just happened… well, in general, for this whole event. What did she mean by ‘making sure me and Twilight had a dance together’? Did she think I had a crush on her or something? Preposterous! But even as I finish this, I still wonder why she had said that, and had made that travesty of a tuxedo when I very clearly showed that I was perfectly fine with the original. Oh well, perhaps I could solve that mystery another day. Hopefully…
End of Chapter 15
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Medley could have avoided repeating the episode just by spitting the fuck out on what he thought of those crime against common sense beauty.
Though...Maybe it's because of my desire to derail the canon.
I don't really want to watch the show again, now with added character that doesn't actually change anything.
Eh...I can't wait till we reach the point where canon can be derailed without some crazy writing skill.
7749457 Trust me, I don't like rehashing canon as much as I am right now. However, Season 1 is like a building block almost, helping set up everything that's about to come in the future, both near and far. I've tried to have breaks from canon with the slice of life chapters, but I know that it's not a perfect fix. However, I have many plans for Book 2, and canons will start to break. Just try and bear with it for Book 1.
Is he secretly two face from Batman?