A New Element of Friendship
How I Became a Baby Again
It was a clear afternoon, with not a worry in sight. College was finally done. I had sent out my applications. I even had a steady girlfriend that I was considering to marry sometime late in the year. I was sitting and playing on my Xbox, playing Fallout. In the background, I had some music playing. My family was in good health and had jobs aplenty, even my brother (odd as the case is for him). Once I had heard of a show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. With it came comments on how the Season 6 would be much more cooler than Season 5. I was curious and decided to watch the show online myself, after getting some work done in Fallout, of course.
It was nearing nighttime when I finally got off my Xbox and chowed down on some frozen pizza. While I was eating, I decided to get the first episode at least started up so that I had something to do. What caught my attention, was when I got the episode and it froze up on me. Almost like a system crash, but I could still move my mouse. I couldn’t even exit out of my current tab or open a new one or even close down my Chrome. What happened next went too fast for a mortal eye to catch. All that could've been seen if done, frame by frame, was me getting pulled in and shrinking to fit the screen’s video. All that was left after it had happened was a pizza slice floating in the air before falling down on the plate. There were no signs of anyone leaving or even anyone living there, to begin with. The computer then shut itself down and closed out of all sites, leaving a shut-off screen.
I was experiencing something else. One moment I was watching a frozen screen. The next moment, I was in a darkened room-like area with a spot of light that happened to be on me.
“What the heck? Am I dreaming right now? I don’t remember falling asleep…” I said, looking around in mild surprise.
“No, my human,” a feminine voice called out in the dark. “This is not a dream, rather a choice.”
“Wha- What do you mean? Who are you? Where am I? Why am I here?” I panicked.
The voice giggled a little at my reaction (which, in hindsight, was rather hilarious) and clarified. “All in due time. Yet, it should be kind to at least answer some of those questions now. My identity will be revealed soon, so I’ll introduce myself then. You are currently in a dead dimension, where many other gods have given offers before. In fact, this place was created for such purposes. It gets annoying to try and schedule everyone in. Do you know how long the wait times are? I mean, dear me! I’m sure he didn’t need it for-” She interrupted herself and cleared her throat, returning back to where she was before the rant. “My apologies. Anyways, you are here to make a choice that could affect many others. About the why… It will become clearer with time.”
“What?” I said, sounding pretty numb.
“You do have functioning ears, right? So help me if I got a deafened one…”
“Sorry, I got confused for a second. So, what’s the choice I’m making here?”
“Ah. Glad to hear that. As for the choice-”
“Wait… did you just…” At that point, I had an outlet for my nervousness and laughed at the pun this person made. “Nice pun there!”
“*ahem* Can I please finish what I was about to say?” She asked, sounding somewhat annoyed.
“Sorry. Yeah, if you please continue.”
“Thank you. Now, here are your options: either be reborn into a better world or continue to exist in your current one. Both lead to a happy life in the end, but to be reborn is to experience a whole new world. The reason will be made clear if you choose to be reborn.”
“And if I choose to stay?”
“Then you continue to live your old life as always. If it helps to make a decision, I will tell you this. If you choose to be reborn, I will erase your existence in the previous world so that none will worry about you.”
At this point, it came down to two options. Pick the safe, comfortable option of staying or the risky option of being reborn. I asked only one question to clarify something.
“Where will I be reborn?” I politely asked.
At that point, the room lit up and the mysterious voice became a figure that was well defined. The figure was a tall, lanky… unicorn with wings? Interesting. She had a white coat, a red mane, some freckles on the right side of her face, huge wings, and a long horn.
“You will be reborn into my world. A world called the Mythos, more specifically Equestria, the land of pony kind. I believe you asked for a name earlier. My name is LaurFastia, the creator goddess of this realm. Not to mention one of the most powerful alicorns ever to come into existence.” She stated with clear intent.
At this point, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Talking with a creator of an entire universe? I must be one lucky bastard to be able to be in her presence, much less to speak with her. But, I summoned all my courage to give my answer in a clear voice.
“I choose… to be reborn into Equestria,” I decisively asked.
“As you wish. Know that you can never return to your realm now. You will reclaim all your human memories at the age of 18, including that of your human family. Are you prepared to accept this price?” Her tone brooked no argument.
“I do.”
“Then I wish you luck, my little pony,” She said and then started to charge some magic on her horn.
It was only a moment later when her magic was flung at me. It soaked into me and began to change my body. I went onto all fours, my hands and feet turning into hooves, pains in my back as some wings grew out of me. Altogether, my body changing to a more equine form. I also began to shrink to the size of an infant and started to regress to the mentality of one. The last thing I remembered clearly was a bright light and me being held up by a doctor, who pronounced:
“It’s a healthy colt!”
End of Prologue
this story is great keep it up
While i cant say its great as very little has happened, you have at least intrigued me enogh to want to see where this goes.
Hmm, needs some grammar work in the beginning, but over all an interesting take. Can't wait to see more.
Okay, I'm going to just come out and say it- your description needs rewriting.
Though it might not be as effective at drawing in readers as decent coverart, descriptions play an integral part in informing readers of what they're about to get into. It's one of the few ways you have of selling your work to your audience, and this description is painfully lacking. I'm going to break it down, piece by piece, so you can get a clearer view of what I'm talking about.
Well I'm hooked.
Huh? What are you talking abo-
For most what? Most people? Most bronies? You've barely even explained what the scenario is. Outside of the HiE tag we have no idea of what you're talking about!
Is the fic itself this full of sentence fragments? Good grief.
Because your description sure as heck didn't help with that!
"Oh, and thanks to the person that did my cover, I guess."
This is not how you sell a story. You've told us basically nothing and given us no reason to care. Please try a little harder in future, and look at the descriptions in successful fics to give you a better idea of what to try.
Well, I think you made a good start.
Seems interesting.
6721727 <---------------what he said!
but still, 18 yrs to get back old memories back?! DAMN!!!!
woot!
Pretty good bookmarking this for sureCan someone please tell me how I can create a story like this I already have it planned out l. I just don't know how to actually start it out with me ending up in Equestria as a Pony
First chapter...
There was no reason as to why Fausticorn would send him to Equestria.
And he seem completely fine with restarting his life without any reason. You didn't tell us WHY he chose that option.
It seems the events happened because shits and giggles.
It's not good, but I've seen worse. And that worse did become better.
P.S. It's "college", not "collage". Collage is a type of art, it seems.
7572992 While I do like where this story is going, but I'm going to have to agree with them on this. What was the reason to just throw away everything he knew and just straight up go to another world. Did he had a bad life? Was he miserable? Did he wanted adventure from his boring life?
So many questions, yet so little answers. BUT... like I said before, I like where this is going. I will continue on reading this story and see were it takes me.
WRITER PAGE, AWAY!
It makes no sense at all, but im still hooked... I guess
It's the Fausticorn!!! In my opinion you see far too little Fausticorn on this site.
7715656
I agree. For such a nonsensical beginning, it does a hell of a job reeling you in.