• Published 3rd Dec 2015
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Why Loved, Then Hated - FerociousCreation



Not even twenty-four hours and Starlight Glimmer has already been forgiven for her acts. Even though she and Twilight have become friends, the unicorn has not told the princess her true pain of her past and why she truly hated cutie marks.

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Worth

Why Love, Then Hated
Ch. 3

Nobody spoke in the library. Starlight Glimmer and Spike were slightly ahead of Sun Burst as they made their way through the room. The small dragon still twiddled his thumbs nervously as he constantly looked between Starlight and Sun Burst. But despite the silence, Spike did not have to ask what he was doing in the library. He was walking to the collection of Daring Do novels so his unicorn friend can begin reading it. It didn't take long before he reached the area as to where the books where.

Looking up, he pointed, “They are up there.” Both unicorns looked up as well to try and find what Spike was pointing at. “I'll go get the ladder.” Walking away from them, the welp went around the corner; his footsteps faded as he left the two ponies.

“So...” Sun Burst said, trying to break into a conversation, “how have you been Star Eyes?”

“Very good,” Starlight responded quickly, still looking up at the tall bookshelf. “Yourself?”

“I'm great, knowing that I am able to see my friend again.” In her left peripheral, Starlight saw the orange unicorn come into view. After a short moment, he reached for her shoulder. But the mare stepped to the right, avoiding the hoof. Starlight knew if he touched her, she would fall under his spell. She knew that his touch was like a drug to her. She knew she craved it. But still, she knew that she couldn't forgive him now; he had no right to touch her just yet.

“Star Eyes, I-”

The sound of wheels rolling on wood silenced the stallion. Both ponies looked to see Spike pushing a ladder that was attached to a railing that slightly extended from the bookshelf. As he came to them, the dragon felt slightly uneasy as they looked at him. “Sorry if I was interrupting.”

“You weren't,” Starlight smiled as she looked upon the welp. In a quick moment, Sun Burst looked at his friend's lips, seeing them in a smile. But as quickly as he saw them, Starlight's eyes fell on the stallion and quickly removed her happy grin.

Spike stopped walking the ladder and began to climb up it. Trying to speak to his friend, Sun Burst spoke again, “Star Eyes.”

“Yes?” she responded.

“How... upset are you with me?”

Starlight looked up at Spike as he pulled books out of their place. She let out a sigh, “Very.”

“Oh...” Sun Burst spoke weakly. “Well, I am not surprised that you are.” Rubbing his shoulder, he tried to think of something to say. “Would you like to sit down somewhere so we can talk?”

Looking back at him, Starlight nodded, “Yes.” Anger boiled inside the mare. “I do think it is time that you know what you did to me when you left.” Quickly, she walked away from Sun Burst. Starlight could hear Sun Burst's hoofsteps behind her. After leaving the long hallway of bookshelves, Starlight saw a couch in an open area, facing away from the fireplace. She went over to it and sat on the far left side, leaning against the armrest. The mare waited for Sun Burst to round the corner. Sure enough, the stallion came around. He slowly approached, trying to not seem too eager to come to her.

Keep calm Starlight, the pink pony told herself. Just tell him everything. Tell him the pain he brought you. No need to get emotional. As soon as he arrived to the couch, the unicorn sat in the middle of it. Starlight's cushion sagged slightly toward Sun Burst. And don't let his charm get to you. Starlight looked at her friend who gave a nervous smile. Don't let that... handsome... But it was too late; her mind was mesmerized by Sun Burst's looks. His light-blue eyes shined like glittering water. Starlight Glimmer then looked at the white patch above his snout. She couldn't wrap her mind around why that simple detail was so attractive all of a sudden. Thoughts of them nuzzling came to mind. Realizing that she was beginning to daydream, Starlight tore her eyes away from the handsome stallion.

“You look very beautiful,” Sun Burst said suddenly.

“T-thank you,” Starlight responded, turning away from her friend, hiding her blushing cheeks from him. She knew he was reading her. She knew he knew what she was thinking about.

Starlight had to tell herself his looks are deceiving her and that she needs to remember that she is very upset with him. Slowly, his charm was beginning to be less effective. Starlight felt that she could look at him more seriously.

When she looked back at Sun Burst, the stallion saw a hostile stare come from her. He tried to scoot closer to her. However, the moment he leaned toward Starlight, her brows creased even more. “Don't come any closer,” she said bitterly.

Sun Burst quickly adjusted himself back to his original position. Not in a single moment did he think angrily at her when she reacted to him. He was definitely concerned for her and wanted to try and help.

“So-” Before Sun Burst could get a sentence out, he noticed Spike coming around the corner with a large pile of books.

“I got every book about Daring Do for you Starlight,” the welp spoke as he carefully balanced the tower of text in his arms.

Both ponies wanted to get up and help Spike, but they continued to stay seated. As he went over to them, the welp placed the pile down beside Starlight on the ground. “You don't have to worry about what book you start with,” Spike started as he gestured to the stack of novels.

“Thank you,” Starlight nodded with a smile.

Feeling his task was done, the dragon once more twiddled his thumbs. “Shall I be on my way then?” Spike asked as he pointed a thumb toward the door.

“Yes. Thank you again.”

“Alright. See you two later.”

Starlight nodded without another word. Spike could tell things were about to heat up and quickly went toward the door.

Neither pony looked at one another until Spike had left and closed the door. Glancing at his friend, Sun Burst gave Starlight Glimmer another smile. Not wanting to see his charming grin again, Starlight levitated a book from the top of the pile next to her and opened it. She adjusted herself and faced toward the stallion. Starlight made sure the book she held blocked his eyesight from hers.

“So Starlight,” Sun Burst spoke cautiously, “why don't you tell me what’s wrong.”

No answer.

“I know you want to talk to me, so why not you let it off your chest.”

Starlight turned a page, scanning each sentence without reading a word. She was listening to him, but could not take a chance of looking at him. He might smile again.

“Please Starlight, tell me what is wrong.Vent to me, just like old times.”

Slowly, Starlight turned a page. “You know exactly what is wrong,” she spoke coldly.

“Huh?”

The book closed with a solid hwump! “You know exactly what is wrong!” Starlight scolded, pointing the book at Sun Burst with a quick jab. Her violet eyes beamed at the unicorn with hurt.

Sun Burst flinched as the novel quickly came at him. He frowned, “Well, yeah, I do think I know why-”

“Then why ask the question?” Starlight Glimmer leaned her back in her seat, getting herself comfortable. He isn't smiling now. Let him have it!

“Let me ask you a question Sun Burst.” It took Starlight a moment to ask her question. She wanted to make sure that her “friend” was watching and listening intently. “Did Twilight Sparkle tell you everything as to why I am upset?”

“No,” Sun Burst replied calmly, still frowning. His ears retreated back. “But I can guess why.”

“Then answer ‘why.’ Why do you think I am upset with you?”

“Because… I didn’t say goodbye?”

Starlight did not like his answer. “You are far from the true reason as to why I am angry with you!” The outburst caused Sun Burst to tilt his snout downwards and his mouth to turn into a more upset frown.

“Do you even remember what you did that day when you got your cutie mark? Do you?”

Sun Burst nodded slowly. “Yeah. I ran outside to show everypony my cutie mark.”

The mare shot her snout into the air. “And you didn't even think about thanking me for accidentally letting you get your cutie mark, did you?”

“Is…” Sun Burst hesitated, “is that the reason why you are upset with me?”

Starlight Glimmer’s mouth parted slightly and her brows furrowed. A moment of silence. The mare looked down, her eyes barely visible to Sun Burst.

Suddenly, she looked up at Sun Burst with a look of anger and hurt in her eyes.

“Is that it? You think that I am upset solely on just that?” Sun Burst tried to muster up something to say, but ended up stuttering. He leaned back a little as Starlight brought her head toward him.

Knowing that he wasn't going to speak, Starlight continued her venting. “Did you ever think about me when you were in Canterlot?”

“Of course I did!” Sun Burst spoke full heartedly.

“Then why didn't you write back to me from all the letters I wrote to you?”

“I- can explain-”

“Explain what?!” the mare exclaimed. “That you accidentally forgot about me?”

Sun Burst twitched slightly upon hearing the question. “Y-yes…,” he replied shamefully, looking down but keeping his eyes on Starlight.

The mare did her best to keep an angry facade, but failed. Instead, her expression frowned. “Do I mean anything to you?” Starlight choked, fighting back tears.

Sun Burst heard the pain in her voice and caused his heart to crack. “Of course you do.” He reached for Starlight’s shoulder, knowing his touch will calm her down.

But to Starlight Glimmer, she saw his hoof as if it was poison. Starlight knew if he touched her, she will begin to crave his touch. Quickly, she swatted it away as she looked at him with an angry leer. “Don't touch me! You have no right to give me any comfort!”

Taking his time, Sun Burst pulled back his hoof. He sat quietly, awaiting Starlight to say anything. He knew saying any word may upset the mare even more.

“How did you feel when you got your cutie mark?” Starlight asked, still trying to look angrily at Sun Burst and still failing. “It must have been great, yes?” The stallion didn't move a muscle; he just stared at her with an upset frown.

“It must have felt great to be shipped off to Canterlot where all the special unicorns go,” Starlight continued, her voice increasing in volume.

She then looked deep into Sun Burst’s eyes. His heart began to hurt as his old friend stared at him. “It must have… been nice… to make new… friends and… forget about me…” Starlight sobbed.

Starlight began to curse at herself internally for letting herself cry. But part of her didn't care. She wanted Sun Burst to see her pain. And she knew her pain would hurt him as well.

“Star Eyes,” Sun Burst spoke earnestly, trying to get in a few words.

But those two words only made things worse. “Don’t call me that,” Starlight said in a choked response to the stallion’s statement as she quickly turned her head away from him.

For Sun Burst, time began to slow. As Starlight turned her head, he saw beads of tears hang in the air. They looked so clear and pretty. And yet, they came from a pony that was in pain. As quickly as it happened, time went back to full speed. The tears fell onto the couch and made a soft batter before being absorbed by the cushions.

Sun Burst watched helplessly as he watched his Star Eyes sob in such pain. She clenched her eyes shut tightly, squeezing out large tears. What have I done…? the stallion thought to himself in shame.

“You know,” Starlight huffed, “you may be thinking…” Her voice changed into a sarcastic tone, “‘...But Starlight, why don't you just move on and get over the past?’” Returning to her normal voice, she looked back to Sun Burst, now able to glue her angry eyes back on, “Well I am not one of those mares.”

She paused for a moment and watched Sun Burst. She saw that he was not only listening, but feeling hurt. And she wanted that.

Looking forward, Starlight let out a sigh before she continued to speak; however, this time, she spoke very calmly without anger in her eyes, “When you left for Canterlot, I felt like I was worth nothing. That I was easily discarded once you found something better than me.”

Sun Burst took a deep breath in, not only offended that she would think she was less important than a cutie mark, but because it hurt him. But he exhaled, letting out any chance for him to make a comment. He just continued to only stare and listen intently.

“You hurt me Sun Burst…” Starlight Glimmer said sadly. “You hurt me a lot…”

What Starlight saw next almost surprised her. Sun Burst was not looking at her, but down at the ground, frowning. She could tell her words were getting to him. And she knew she was going to get answers.

As for Sun Burst, he felt terrible. No amount of physical hurt could compare to what his heart was going through.

“How did I hurt you?” the stallion replied quietly. “I never thought that I would be the one who would bring you so much pain.” Sun Burst glanced over to Starlight Glimmer for a moment before back at the ground. “Please, let me explain what happened during the time I...” Sun Burst tensed up, “...accidentally forgot about you… But before I do, I want to know exactly how I hurt you.”

Knowing that the message was sent, Starlight felt there was no need to get angry at Sun Burst anymore.

The mare took in a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. “It's not solely based on what you did,” Starlight began. “It's also what you didn't do.”

Sun Burst adjusted himself to look at the unicorn. “Well, start with what I did that hurt you.”

A chuckle escaped Starlight, “It may seem silly but… Every sweet thing you have ever told me is part of what you did that hurt me.”

Confusion fell upon Sun Burst. “How could that have possibly hurt you? I mean, I know you would hit me if I teased you before, but-”

“Because you didn't remember me or write back or visit or anything,” Starlight interjected. “That's what you didn't do.” Sun Burst became quiet as he looked at the unicorn beside him. He noticed she was now blushing.

“When you left me, I…” A pause. Then suddenly, Starlight blurted, “I quickly fell in love with you!”

A flush of pink came onto Sun Burst’s face as he heard Starlight’s words.

“And when I fell in love with you,” she continued, her eyes focused on Sun Burst’s, “I began to crave for your presence. I wanted to be with you more than ever. But most of all, I wanted your touch again.” Sun Burst slightly lifted his hoof, wanting to touch his friend in comfort, but knew she didn't want him to do that. So instead, he stayed still.

“I missed your closeness. I missed… Everything about you!” Starlight breathed in and out once to calm herself. She turned her head away from the stallion.

“Your touch was like a drug without knowing it until you were gone.” Starlight looked at Sun Burst again. “Even today, when you touched my shoulder out in the hallway, it was like a soft feeling only a memory could remember. If you were to hold me in your arms right now, I would melt.”

As he watched the mare, Sun Burst watched the pink from Starlight’s cheeks fade away.

“But I cannot let you touch me,” she said quietly, her eyes looking away for a brief moment. “Because of what you did to me, I won't allow you to do anything with me… We can no longer be friends.”

A cold chill ran down the stallion’s spine. His chest clenched. Sun Burst was hurt by words. His old friend that he cared about so much before now wants nothing to do with him.

“I… understand,” Sun Burst choked, looking away, worried if his eyes may begin to water. “I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… No words can explain how sorry I am…” Sun Burst’s ears fell back as far as they can in shame. His head looked down as much as it could. “I just want you to know that… you are special and that you are special to me.”

Both ponies sat beside each other without words for an unknown amount of time. They didn’t know how long the moment of silence was, but it didn’t matter. As Starlight sat quietly, she saw true sadness that came from Sun Burst. She knew he cared a lot about her just by the way he was behaving. Perhaps a second chance was a possibility.

“Heart Burst,” Starlight Glimmer said quietly. Her voice along with her statement exploded in Sun Burst’s ears. The stallion’s two ears perked up when he heard the unicorn’s voice. Sun Burst looked at Starlight, his heart slightly smiling upon hearing the long lost pet name.

“Can you tell me what happened when you forgot about me? I know you still want to be my friend, but I want to know what went through your mind when you got your cutie mark and were shipped off to Canterlot.”

Sun Burst pursing his lips, thinking for a moment. “I do owe you that.” However, the words “Heart Burst” rang in his mind. “But why did you call me Heart Burst? I know you don’t want me to call you Star Eyes, but why call me by my pet name?”

“Because… I want to forgive you.”

Starlight’s response confused Sun Burst. “But didn't you just say you can’t be friends with me.”

“Well, you did say I was special.” Starlight smiled, embarrassed to continue talking . “I just… The past still clings to me and… I do like what we had before and-”

“You still want to be my friend but you want to know my side of things before considering having an intimate relationship again.”

Sun Burst hit the nail on the head.

“Yes,” Starlight replied. “I will admit, even though all the pain you brought me makes me want to hurt you physically, I still remember every sweet thing you told me.” She rubbed her own shoulder. “I'm caught in the past with everything you have done to me. I'm so confused on how I feel about you now that you are here. But now the time has come for me to decide: do I forgive you or not? And now…” Looking into his eyes, she felt her heart flutter; and he wasn't even smiling! “...your story will decide our fate.”

“I understand,” Sun Burst nodded. He grinned widely. “I'm just glad me saying ‘you are special’ made you feel happy.”

Starlight Glimmer winked at Sun Burst. “It did.” Her face then turned serious. “Now, explain to me why I was so easily forgotten. Because I have not forgotten the past, now have I?”

The spotlight was now on SunBurst. She is going to hate me…