Why Loved, Then Hated

by FerociousCreation

Fifth Letter

Starlight Glimmer waited for Sunburst to begin telling his story. She saw discomfort in his eyes and could tell he felt shame. But despite his emotions, Starlight demanded that she hears Sunburst before she would allow the stallion to touch her in any way.

“Are… you ready for my story Starey- Starlight?” Sunburst stuttered, almost saying the mare’s old nickname.

“I'm eager,” Starlight responded quickly with no emotions on her face.

With a clear of his throat, Sunburst began, “So, when I got my cutie mark…” He looked away from Starlight’s eyes for a moment, knowing that his cutie mark was a prime reason why the mare disliked him.

“Go on,” Starlight spoke.

Sunburst’s eyes went back to the unicorn who adjusted herself as he looked at her. He too got himself in a more comfortable position with his back up against the couch’s cushion. Sunburst turned his head toward Starlight Glimmer, but looked past her, afraid of her eyes. But even though he was afraid of her sapphire spheres, Sunburst had to gaze into them.

“So when I got my cutie mark,” Sunburst began again, “I was carried off to my parents by the crowd of happy ponies.” He paused to see if he could see any hint of anger in Starlight Glimmer’s eyes. He did not. So he continued…

“When I showed my parents, they were overwhelmed with joy. I know I didn't tell you this at the time, so I might as well.”

“Tell me what?” Starlight turned her head, curious as to what the stallion meant.

Sunburst rubbed his shoulder for a moment. “At the time, my parents were planning to take a vacation to Canterlot. Before I got my… you know-”

“Continue.”

“R-right. So umm, I asked before hoof if you can come with us, but they declined. I didn't want to tell you that we were going to Canterlot for vacation because I know you always wanted to go there and didn't want you to get jealous.”

Starlight Glimmer furrowed her brow, glancing left and right. She was taking in everything her friend was saying with a grain of salt, but still believed his story so far.

“So...” the mare said, wanting more to be said.

“So, when I got my cutie mark…” A small pause. “Umm, they were of course happy for me and were also glad it happened at such a convenient time.”

“I can assume that you and your family were planning on leaving the next day, right?” Starlight asked.

“Well, not exactly,” Sunburst corrected.

The mare brought her hoof up to her chin. “Explain what you mean.”

“Well, because I got my cutie mark a few days before the initial vacation, my parents decided to leave early and see if they could try and sign me up for the Canterlot School of Gifted Unicorns.”

“That would make sense as to why you disappeared so quickly,” Starlight spoke, looking up at a looming bookshelf.

The words from Starlight gripped Sunburst from the inside. “Yeah… I did vanish from you, didn't I?” The stallion expected his friend to respond to his comment with a nod. However, she continued to stare at what she was gazing at. He turned to see what Starlight Glimmer was looking at, but gave up after a few seconds and looked back to the mare.

“Explain to me how you felt when they told you they would sign you up for the school in Canterlot,” Starlight Glimmer asked.

Sunburst hesitated, but knew he had to answer. “To be honest, very happy and excited.” The stallion looked at Starlight for a moment to see any change in expression. The only thing he could make out was that she looked interested in his story. However, Sunburst knew that she will get upset with him as he explained the truth of his absence with her and ignoring of letters.

“You and I both wanted to go to the Canterlot School of Gifted Unicorns. We both knew that there was so much to learn there and to be given that chance out of the blue, well… Would you have turned that down?” he asked.

Starlight took in a deep breath and held it in for a moment before exhaling.

“No I would not,” Starlight finally answered. “So what happened when you got to Canterlot?”

Sunburst had to think for a moment before answering, remembering what happened the day he arrived at the kingdom. “Let's see… My parents rushed me to the school as quickly as possible by getting up really early to get to Canterlot.”

“Is that why you couldn't say goodbye?” the mare asked. “Because you had to get up early?”

“I would have said goodbye if I could…” Sunburst pleaded.

But Starlight was quick with a response. “You could have told me the day you got your cutie mark."

Starlight looked through him Sunburst as his ears retreated, trying to hide them like rabbits ducking in tall grass. “I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. I was just distracted by my accomplishment.” He held his head low still guilty of what he had done.

“Distracted you say?” Starlight Glimmer asked with a raise of her brow.

Sunburst froze, his eyes wide. He sat silently, waiting for his friend to either get angry with him or start sobbing some more. He shot a glance at the mare. She had her eyes closed in deep thought. Slowly she reopened her eyes and looked at the stallion.

“Continue your story please,” Starlight asked calmly.

Sunburst sighed internally. Thank goodness that didn't make her mad. I can't stand seeing her upset… With an obstacle avoided, Sunburst resumed his story.

“So, we took the earliest train and headed straight to the school once we arrived to Canterlot. Luck was on their side because it was open house and was able to do an entrance test then and there.”

Curious as to what the test was, Starlight Glimmer asked, “What did the exam consist of?”

The orange pony chuckled. “All I had to do was a simple levitation spell.”

“That’s it?!” Starlight looked at the stallion with disbelief. “THAT was the test?!”

“That's what I said!”

The mare smirked. “I bet you showed off with flying colors.”

“You could say that,” Sunburst winked. As he looked at Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst slowly watched the mare’s smile fade. His grin died soon after hers did.

Starlight then looked at the stallion, waiting for his story to resume. “So after I impressed the proctors, I was immediately offered a place at the Canterlot school.”

“So you decided to stay,” Starlight spoke bluntly.

“W-well,” Sunburst stuttered, “the only way for me to stay was to live in a dorm.” He thought hard trying to comment after his statement. “Wouldn't you have stayed if given a chance?”

“I don't know actually.”

Starlight Glimmer’s comment confused the stallion. “What do you mean?”

“Well, pretend we're kids again.”

“Okay.”

“If you were told that you can go anywhere you want, you would obviously not turn down that offer. But what if that offer had a catch. What if, in return of your choice of where you want to go, you can only see your friends and family only very so often. That's what I mean by ‘I don't know.’ I don't know because it didn't happen to me and I don't know what I would have chosen. School is important. But friends and family are far more meaningful… or at least, they should be.” I should see my parents sometime soon now that I think about it, Starlight commented mentally. Maybe send them a letter or something.

A dagger of pain stabbed into Sunburst’s heart. He had to try very hard to keep a calm composure. He shivered a bit, trying to shake something out of him.

What was that all about? Starlight Glimmer thought to herself as she watched Sunburst quiver for a moment. Was it something I said? Hmm…

“So umm…” Sunburst resumed as he got the last shake out of himself, “when I accepted the offer, they showed me to my dorm and gave me everything I needed to stay.”

“I see. Go on.”

“When they brought me to my dorm room, my roommate happened to be there. And so, I greeted myself to him and became friends immediately.”

Starlight pursed her lips, “Why is your old roommate important to the story?”

The orange pony frowned and looked at his old friend. “He is part of the reason why I forgot about you…”

“So you replaced me.” The mare leaned forward with a bothered, yet angry expression.

“It’s not- He didn't- MMMPHH!” Sunburst was tripping over his sentences. He was swearing at himself internally for sounding like a mumbling idiot.

As for Starlight, she leaned back against the couch cushion waiting for Sunburst to continue speaking. She didn't want to force everything out of him. She rather have him tell the story instead of beating it out of Sunburst herself.

“You were never replaced…” he finally answered. “Like I said, or rather you asked, ‘was I forgotten’ or something like that and I said…”

“...Yes.” Finally, Starlight Glimmer showed a different emotion. However it did not make either of them feel better. The mare frowned, trying not to make eye contact with Sunburst. “Was I that easily forgettable?” she asked slowly.

Sunburst dared to look at the unicorn’s cool blue eyes. He could see the hurt in them and couldn't bare to watch her lovely sapphire spheres gush water anymore. Once more, pain stabbed his heart, afraid to answer the question.

“MayI continue my story?” Sunburst requested, his voice choked a little as he started his first word. “It will answer your question without having to reply ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ to your question”

Doing her best to put on a big girl face, Starlight nodded silently. She didn't have to say anything. All she had to do now was listen.

Sunburst rubbed his forehead before starting again. “Now let's fast forward a week.” He waited for the pink pony to reply. Sunburst didn't move an inch. She was only listening.

The awkward silence made it difficult for Sunburst to resume his story.

“I was walking back to my dorm after a tiring lecture,” he resumed. “It lasted for two hours and I wanted some rest.” Again, the unicorn paused briefly to see if Starlight Glimmer needed to input. She didn't.

“When I got to my dorm, my roommate was there holding a letter he got from the mailmare...”

In an instant, Starlight’s attitude quickly changed. Instead of looking through him like a clean glass window, the mare was more interested than ever before. She knew exactly what he was going to say, but waited in anticipation.

“...and it read: From Starlight Glimmer.”

A warm feeling lit up Starlight’s heart. He actually received the letter. His parents did send the letters she wrote to Sunburst.

The stallion noticed a small smile appear on the pink pony’s face and watched it grow. However, he knew he would watch that smile disappear again, so he didn't marvel at it for too long.

Resuming, he said, “So naturally, I opened it up and read it. I remember you saying in your letter that you were happy for me getting into the Canterlot School of Gifted Unicorns and obtaining my cutie mark.”

“I was happy for your fortune,” Starlight Glimmer finally spoke. Her voice surprised the stallion as he didn't expect the mare to talk anymore. “I just didn't like how you left me without a goodbye…”

“You did read about that too,” Sunburst frowned. Once more, as Sunburst predicted, Starlight’s smile left her. He let out a small sigh at the change of expression, but continued his story.

“So after reading it, I quickly placed it on my desk so I can quickly reply. But it was windy that day and the window was open. Our room was always getting stuffy, so me and my roommate kept it open to let in fresh air.”

Starlight wanted to ask why Sunburst was talking about such a detail, but figured it was an important part of the story.

“Because of the wind, I placed a random book on top of your letter so that it would not fly away.” Starlight gently nodded, complying that she was indeed listening.

“But just as I stopped your note from being claimed by the breeze, my roommate wanted to get some food from the cafeteria.” Sunburst paused for a moment. Blush bled onto his face. “I told him that I really want to write back to you. I… happened to tell him before… that I- that-”

“You had a crush on me,” Starlight blurted out, knowing Sunburst’s embarrassment was going to keep him from resuming the story. “So what happened next?”

“He umm…” Sunburst had to gather his thoughts. “...said that they were serving broccoli with melted cheddar cheese at the cafeteria…” The stallion’s face frowned. “Knowing that was a favorite of mine and his, we ran as fast as our legs could run.”

“Why was that-” The mare stopped herself as she saw Sunburst looking down. There was an obvious reason as to why he was upset. So she just waited.

A minute passed. It felt longer to Starlight.

“During the event of lunch...” Sunburst spoke. Starlight felt somehow relieved when she heard his voice; the silence was bothersome. “I unfortunately forgot all about your letter you wrote me and forgot that it was under that book I hid it under.”

More silence.

“I didn't mean to forget about your letter…” Sunburst showed through his expression that he was bothered by his own past action. Mentally, he kept kicking himself in the head, angry at what he couldn't take back.

“What about the other letters?” Starlight asked. “I did send you four more.”

Sunburst took in a deep breath before speaking again. “Well, the next three ended up with the same fate as the first…”

The mare’s ears twitched as she heard Sunburst’s statement. “You just said three of them ended up just like the first letter, right?” He nodded slowly now looking ever more disturbed. “What about the fourth one?”

Starlight Glimmer leaned forward slightly to try and get Sunburst to look at her. But when he gave her the slightest vision of his pupil, the stallion clenched his eyes tightly. Sunburst couldn’t hold in his emotions. Succumbed by hurt and sorrow, Sunburst’s face writhed into a truly upset expression. Tears began to flow and fall off his face in an endless stream. He huffed bitterly as he sobbed.

“I’m sorry...” Sunburst muttered. Then, something inside of him cracked. Then broke.

“I”M SORRY!” he shouted, his eyes still clenched. Starlight was taken aback by the sudden outburst. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Sunburst repeated. He shook his head back and forth, trying to shake out the depressed emotions that had been dormant in his heart for so long.

Being a witness to this lamentation, Starlight looked upon the stallion with sympathy. She never thought she would feel sorry for her past friend after what he had done to her. But seeing how he was now behaving, Starlight Glimmer almost wanted to hold him as he did to her in past times. Yet, she was not yet ready to do such an act. The story was not yet over. Maybe when the story is over, she will give him some comfort. Maybe…

Sunburst had his shoulders slumped as he continued to sob. But after a minute or so of crying, he was able to gain composure of himself. Taking in a deep breath, he wiped his eyes and sniffed harshly to keep his snot from running out of his nostrils.

“Forgive me for that…” Sunburst said as he huffed in some more air. “I just-”

“It’s okay,” Starlight Glimmer spoke. Both pony’s eyes met as the mare said her words. Sunburst was somehow no longer hurt by Starlight’s sapphire eyes. They were beginning to look beautiful again. The mare smiled for a moment before it went away again. “So, can you resume your story?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Sunburst adjusted himself before speaking again. “Where was I again?” he asked.

“You were telling me how four letters I sent you were lost and the I asked about the fifth one.”

Sunburst’s heart clenched again and he stiffened by the statement.

“Did you read that one?” Starlight Glimmer asked, knowing what that last letter entailed. After all, she wrote it.

“I… did…”

The mare frowned, almost regretting that she sent that letter to him years ago. “I… said a lot of mean things in it, didn’t I?”

“What you said was justified…” Both ponies locked gazes for a moment before looking away. “But when I read that letter that fateful winter, I changed.”

Sorrow quickly left Starlight Glimmer as she was now more interested in Sunburst’s story. “Explain.”

“Well…”

Comments

[OmniFox]

GET TO THE FRIGGIN' POINT ALREADY SUNBURST!!!!!!

[zalla661]

7111018 Sunburst stop beating around the bush you whimpering filly!

Goodness he's such a wimp.

[Frankie2]

7111018

I agree.

[JETJK3]

The emotion really carries over to the reader, im not even Sunburst and i feel a heartache coming on. Its commenly known not all your decision will have the greatest outcome; whether their right or wrong your action can make you feel bad or upset at yourself for your own choices. Sunburst is stuck in a huge glacier and is going to need to get himself out burning himself along with his situation or pick apart the the subject by chiping away at himself every so often. I really look forward to what happens next.

[Leonzilla]

I would like to read this, but I'm hesitant because it's still incomplete.

Will it be finished?