Royal Guard
(Cites are down at the author's notes)
One morning over at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack and Big Mac both got up bright and early. Applejack took a big sniff in the air and said, “Ah the sweet smell of a sweet apple acre! Wouldn’t you agree, Big Mac?”
“Eeyup!” Big Mac said as he took out a wheelbarrow full of farming tools.
“Ah can already smell the fresh air!” Applejack said as she takes another sniff. “Hmm…” She thought. “Then again, somethin’ ain’t quite right. Where’s that fresh apple scent? Big Mac, do you smell it?”
Big Mac takes a sniff, and then he says, “Nnnope.”
Applejack curiously walked over to a tree in the orchard and she kicked onto a tree, but nothing came down. She kept again just to double check, but all that fell on her head was a pinecone with a note on it. “What in tarnation?” She asked as she rubbed her head. She spotted the pinecone lying on the ground and she picked it up. She then looked at the note and read it, “I.O.U. Uhh… what?”
“AAAH!” Apple Bloom screamed from inside the farmhouse which alarmed Applejack.
“Apple Bloom?!” Applejack yelled. She ran into the farmhouse and up the stairs and saw Apple Bloom breathing hysterically. “Apple Bloom, what’s wrong?!”
“Apple- Apple- Apple- Apple- Apple!” Apple Bloom stuttered.
Applejack gave Apple Bloom a paper bag to breathe into and she instructed Apple Bloom to take deep breaths. “There, there, Apple Bloom. Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale.”
Apple Bloom breathed normally after she removed the paper bag from her mouth. She then smiled and said, “Phew. Thanks, Applejack!”
“What happened, sugarcube?” Applejack asked. “Why did you scream like that?”
“Wait, why did ah scream again?” Apple Bloom thought it over. “Oh yeah, ah remember. AAAAAAH!” She screamed again.
“APPLE BLOOM! What’s wrong?!” Applejack asked.
“Mah rock collection is gone!” Apple Bloom cried.
“Wait, what?” Applejack asked curiously.
“Mah colorful rock collection! It disappeared! All ah got is this piece of paper with the letters I.O.U.!” Apple Bloom cried as she showed Applejack the note.
“Wait, when did you get a rock collection?” Applejack asked.
“Pinkie’s sister Maud got me interested in rocks.” Apple Bloom said. “Ah dunno what happened! Ah swear it was right there! Ah didn’t move it! Did you take it? Or is Big Mac onto his little pranks again?”
“HEY!” Big Mac said angrily as he leaned his head into Apple Bloom’s room. “Ah’ll have you know that even if ah did go back to mah little pranks again, which ah didn’t, ah wouldn’t go so far as to touch your stuff, Apple Bloom.” He then leaves.
“Wait, what did you say about a note?” Applejack remembers.
“This one here.” Apple Bloom said as she gives the note to Applejack to look at.
“Wait a minute! Ah got this same exact note when ah was buckin’ trees.” Applejack said.
“It’s not just that, Applejack.” Granny Smith said as she walks inside Apple Bloom’s room. “There is a giant hole on the kitchen floor. It’s like somepony flew in from the ground. Er, I mean… dug in from the roof; or… d’oh, you know what ah mean!”
“Well, ah think its official then.” Applejack said worryingly. “We have a thief in town!”
Over at the castle, Twilight was skipping excitedly through the halls, humming to herself, “It’s happening! It’s happening! I can’t wait!” She continued to skip through the halls until she ran into Spike who was carrying a bunch of scrolls. She accidently knocks into him and they both fall, and Spike drops all of the scrolls. “Oh, sorry Spike.” Twilight said as she picked up all of the scrolls with her magic.
Spike rubs his head and says, “No worries, Twilight. Accidents happen. What got you so excited?”
“Did you hear the news?” Twilight asked.
“That depends on which news you’re talking about.” Spike teased.
“Alright, you wise-crack of a dragon.” Twilight chuckled. Spike smiles with glee. “Anyways, my brother Shining Armor’s coming to town!”
“Awesome!” Spike said excitedly. “I guess he took some time off from royal duties and the baby to come to his favorite sister!”
“Actually, Skyla’s coming too.” Twilight said. “Shining thought it would’ve been nice if Skyla got to see her aunt again, and of course her Uncle Spike too!”
Spike chuckles and said, “Well, I’d love to see her, but once I’m done here. I have to take these scrolls back to town hall.”
“Town hall? What are you doing there?” Twilight asked.
“Well, I realized baking wasn’t my thing, so the mayor hired me to copy some of the town achieves.” Spike said.
“Are you going to tell me why you keep trying to find jobs around town?” Twilight asked.
Spike got a little nervous, because he didn’t want to tell her what he’s trying to do yet. “Well… I…”
“Twilight!” Starlight called out as she ran over to her.
“Hold that thought, Spike. Starlight, what’s going on?” Twilight asked.
“I’m not sure what’s going on, but there’s a bunch of angry townfolk outside, and I really don’t know what to say.” Starlight said. “I felt that I needed some professional help.”
Twilight, Starlight, and Spike all went outside to check up on the angry mob. Twilight gasped as she walked outside. Everypony was shouting all at once, but Twilight needed to control the crowd first. “OK! OK! ONE AT A TIME!” Twilight yelled as the crowd continued yelling.
“Yeah I think you need to be a little more specific, Twilight.” Spike informed her. As everypony continued yelling, Pinkie was hopping right in the middle of the crowd, shouting about random baking ingredients.
“Alright everypony! Please! One at a time! I can’t hear you all at the same time!” Twilight called out, but nopony listened.
Starlight used her magic to raise her voice at the volume of a megaphone and she yells, “QUIEEEEEEEEEEEEET!” Everypony immediately stops shouting.
“Thank you, Starlight.” Twilight said.
“You better! That REALLY hurt my throat!” Starlight complained.
“Ok… now, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, what’s going on?” Twilight asked.
“Well we had a break-in last night it seems.” Mr. Cake said as he and his wife were holding their babies. “Somepony broke in and stole our silver baking tins.”
“Have you found any clues?” Twilight asked.
“Just this I.O.U. message.” Mrs. Cake said as she shows Twilight the message, and Twilight observes it. “Do you have any idea what it means?”
“Hmm, that’s odd.” Rarity commented. “I have received a similar message when somepony stole my ribbons.” She takes out the same message and shows it to Twilight.
“Yeah same here!” Doctor Whooves said. “It is incredibly odd.”
“I think we all had something stolen and received the same message.” Fluttershy said.
“Is it a COINCIDENCE?!” Pinkie yelled while squeezing in between Zecora and Cheerilee. “Or… maybe it’s…” Pinkie takes out a monocular and places it on her eye, “…a mystery.” Zecora and Cheerilee both looked at eachother awkwardly. “You see I had to rely on this monocular because I could find any magnifying glasses.”
“Setting that awkward dramatic moment aside,” Twilight said awkwardly, “Pinkie Pie’s right. There is a mystery happening in town. Did anypony discuss this with the mayor?”
“I’m just as curious as all of you are.” The mayor said in the crowd. “If you ask me though, I say we have a thief in town, and it is time we did something about it!”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she flew into the air and starts performing punches and kicks. “We’ll teach that thief a thing or two for disturbing the peace in OUR town!” Everypony in the crowd agreed.
“We need to protect our homes and our belongings!” Lucky Clover cried out as everypony continued shouting.
“No we need to fight back!” Lemon Hearts yelled.
“No we need somepony to protect us!” Coco Crusoe panicked.
“NO!” Pinkie yelled. “We should just magically pick up Ponyville, and move it to a safer place! Simple as that!”
“EVERYPONY!” Twilight yelled as everypony continued to rabble on. “We can’t panic! All of those are good ideas! Well… most of them are, but we won’t get anywhere if we panic like this!” Nopony listened to her still.
“Why did they bother coming to you if they won’t listen to you anyway?” Starlight complained.
“Oh sweet mother of Equestria! What am I going to do?” Twilight asked worryingly.
“EVERYPONY SHUSH!” A familiar voice shouted and like magic, everypony’s lips got sealed. Everypony looked behind them, and there he was – Shining Armor, along with his daughter Princess Skyla riding on his back, laughing, and making raspberry noises.
“Big brother!” Twilight said excitedly as she ran over to him and gave him a hug.
“Twilie!” Shining said excitedly. “Looks like you got yourself in quite a pickle here with the townfolk.”
“You have NO idea!” Twilight said as she rolled her eyes. She then leans over and nuzzles Skyla. “Hey there, my little princess!”
“So what’s going on?” Shining asked as he and Twilight walked over to castle.
“Well all these ponies came to the castle asking me what they should do, even though they refused to listen to me.” Twilight explained.
“Don’t worry, Twilie. Just explain everything to me when we get inside.” Shining suggested as the duo walked inside, followed by Starlight and Spike, and the doors shut behind them. After a few moments, Shining opens the door and undoes his spell to the townfolk. Everypony blabbered a bit as they all walked away.
Over in the map room, Twilight explains to her brother what the townsfolk have been complaining about as she cradles Skyla on her arms. “So… a thief in town, huh?” Shining asked. “And all the clues there is here is just I.O.U. messages.”
“Yes, which concerns me.” Twilight said. “Why would a thief leave these messages behind?”
“Well if a thief leaves a clue behind by placing it, there might be hoof prints on it.” Shining said.
“How do you know all this?” Starlight asked.
“When I was Captain of the Royal Guard, back when I was still living in Canterlot, I had to learn these things.” Shining said. “When a criminal leaves stuff behind, there might be biological evidence behind it.”
“That’s my brother – the all mighty detective!” Twilight said. “Shining Armor Private Eye!”
“Heh, yeah!” Shining chuckled. “I remember when you called me that back when we played Detective when we were little.”
“Maybe we should play it again!” Twilight suggested.
“Perhaps we should.” Shining agreed.
“I’m going to go help out the townsfolk and see what’s happening. I’ll let you know if there’s any news.” Starlight offered as she walks out of the room.
“So, BBBFF, where should we start?” Twilight asked. Just then, a green stench starts floating out of Skyla’s diaper and into Twilight’s nose. Skyla chuckles as Twilight holds her nose. “Yeah, I think that answers my question.”
So after Skyla was taken care of, Twilight and Shining (along with Skyla on her father’s back) all went around town to talk to the other ponies around town about what happened. They started off at the Ponyville School, where Cheerilee just finished teaching her class. The other students were walking out as Twilight and Shining arrived. Twilight and Shining allow the CMCs to play with Skyla as they spoke with Cheerilee inside.
“It is good to see you again, Shining Armor!” Cheerilee said as she was sitting on her desk.
“Likewise, Miss Cheerilee!” Shining said.
“So you two wanted to talk to me about the strange robberies that have occurred around town?” Cheerilee asked.
“Yes. We want to get a lead on who is responsible.” Twilight said. “Has anything been stolen from you recently?”
Cheerilee straightens out one of the pencils on her desk and says, “Well come to think of it, I did mysteriously lose my Teacher of the Year trophy.”
“Ouch. I hope that wasn’t too bad for you.” Shining said.
“Oh not at all!” Cheerilee said happily. Cheerilee then receives a flashback of her screaming and smashing all of her furniture. The ponies outside were a little freaked out by her huge meltdown. When Cheerilee’s flashback ends, she just giggles, and Shining and Twilight just looked at eachother awkwardly.
“Ooook then.” Twilight said. “So did you find any clues on who stole your trophy?”
Cheerilee clears her throat and says, “Well, I didn’t get a good view of who it was. All I saw was a small shadow. It was strong enough to carry my trophy but it wasn’t that much bigger than the trophy itself.”
“Did it run in any particular direction?” Twilight asked.
“Just down a hole in my kitchen.” Cheerilee said.
“So you’re saying they… dug through?” Twilight asked.
“It would seem so.” Cheerilee said. “It was a hole 4 inches wide, and very deep.”
“Hmm, sounds like we have pretty good diggers that are stealing stuff from around Ponyville. Wouldn’t you agree, Twilie?” Shining asked.
“I wouldn’t doubt it for a second!” Twilight said. “Thank you so much for your time, Cheerilee, and we promise we’ll get you your trophy back!”
“Any time, Twilight! Any time!” Cheerilee said with a big grin on her face. As Twilight and Shining both walked out of the school house, Cheerilee’s eye twitched in the most stressful way.
Twilight and Shining continue their findings over at Sugarcube Corner where Mr. and Mrs. Cake show them the hole on their kitchen floor, and Skyla was playing with the Cake babies. Shining took a closer look and observed it. “So… the intruders came through here.”
“Yes, and they made off with our silver baking pans.” Mr. Cake said. “Very special.”
“We’ve had them for many, many years.” Mrs. Cake said. “We’ve baked our most special cakes with them.”
“Hmm.” Twilight observes the hole. “4 inches wide, just like Cheerilee’s.”
“Did either of you see the robbers?” Shining asked.
“I wish we did.” Mr. Cake said. “It was too dark.”
“And we were afraid.” Mrs. Cake said. “We would’ve had a good chance if we were just brave enough to attack.”
“Brave enough to attack?” Twilight asked.
“Well we don’t know how to fight.” Mr. Cake said. “We’re bakers, not police officers.”
“Ooo, Mayor Mare really needs to set up some security in town.” Mrs. Cake said. “It’s not every day that we have something strange breaking into our homes and stealing our precious belongings.”
Just then, the front door suddenly slams open with the mayor yelling, “Princess Twilight!” Just then, all the babies started to cry from the loud bang. “Oh woops.” The mayor said.
“Mayor!” Twilight yelled angrily.
“I panicked, I’m sorry!” The mayor said. Just then, Skyla’s crying starts a chain reaction with her magic. The refrigerator in the kitchen opens, and pies start flying out and all of the pies splattered onto the mayor’s face. The babies all then laughed at the mayor’s humiliation, and even Twilight, Shining, and the Cakes laughed too. The mayor then laughed along and said, “Ok, I probably deserved that!”
“So what’s going on, Mayor?” Twilight asked. “What’s the big emergency?”
“Huh? Oh right! Another break-in has occurred.” The mayor said.
“Where?” Twilight asked.
“Over at-“ The mayor started, but she started tasting the blueberries on her face. “Mmm! This is good! What sort of recipe is this?”
“Well,” Mrs. Cake started, “it’s just the usual of flour, sugar, water, and the fresh blueberries from-“
“No time for that!” Twilight interrupted. “Just where did the break-in occur?”
“Oh, over at Fluttershy’s cottage.” The mayor said.
“Oh no! Not Fluttershy!” Twilight said nervously.
Shining, Twilight, and the mayor all headed over to the cottage to help Fluttershy out with her problem. Skyla was playing with Angel’s ears, which Angel didn’t really mind since it seemed to comfort him. Fluttershy herself was breathing in a paper bag provided by the mayor as Shining and Twilight observed the hole. “Same size, same exact shape.” Shining said.
“If this happened recently in broad daylight, then Fluttershy must have seen who did it.” Twilight presumed.
“It’s worth a try.” Shining said.
Twilight walked over to Fluttershy and asked her while comforting her, “Are you ok, Fluttershy?”
“No!” Fluttershy shouted while startling her and the mayor. “I don’t think I can go on like this! It’s just too horrible!”
“Don’t worry, Fluttershy.” Shining comforted her. “We’ll get to the bottom on whoever stole your… umm… what exactly did they stole from you?”
“They didn’t steal anything from me.” Fluttershy said.
“They didn’t?” Shining asked.
“Then why are you freaking out?” Twilight asked.
“They stole from Angel!” Fluttershy freaked out as she continued breathing through the bag. “They stole his shiny little bowl that I made for him! I mean look at Angel! He’s so upset about this!” Angel just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
“Riiiight.” Shining said awkwardly. Twilight elbows her brother hard since she thought it wasn’t very applicate to say in front of her. “Ow!”
“Regardless, we’ll find whoever did this to you.” Twilight said.
“Not to me, to Angel.” Fluttershy corrected her.
“Right, to Angel.” Twilight repeated herself. “So did you see who might’ve done this?”
“No, I was too scared.” Fluttershy said. “It was a great big shadow, I know that much. It is not every day we get criminals in a peaceful town like this. I thought we were a criminal-free environment?”
“I agree!” Rainbow Dash said as she entered the cottage. “Even though I’d be awesome enough to defend myself from any kind of criminal, I fear for my friends.”
“Yeah this is just too much.” Applejack agreed as she too walked inside. “If there’s a criminal in town, we need to take security precautions.”
“Yeah, like one of those cupcakes with the little cameras on them.” Pinkie said. “You know the ones that secret agents have? How do I know that you may ask? I saw video footage of the inside of my stomach.”
“Wow, thanks for that mental image, Pinkie.” Rainbow said feeling grossed out.
“Who knew my stomach acid was actually chocolate syrup?” Pinkie asked.
“Mayor Mare! We need you to make a police force in this town!” Rarity requested. “I will not standby and tolerate others stealing my rare shinny fabrics and have them get away with it!”
“Yeah, why don’t we have a police force in town?” Applejack complained. All of them walked over to the mayor and kept complaining to her. The mayor was feeling stressed out, and didn’t know what to say.
Twilight immediately stepped in and defended her. “Alright girls, let’s calm down! It doesn’t help the mayor when we all complain to her at once. How about we just do a town meeting? Perhaps we’ll have some townsfolk volunteer to be the town’s sheriff.”
“Yes, precisely.” The mayor said. “We have the current Equestria record of being the most peaceful town in Equestria. We shall keep that record if it means having some ponies step in to help secure the town of any little threats that come by.”
“Um, actually, Mayor, if I may?” Shining asked. “I think I have a better idea.”
So after a discussion, they all finally agreed to go with Shining’s idea. Over at Town Hall, the townsfolk all met for a town meeting. “Hmm, I wonder why the mayor has called us all here?” Cheerilee asked.
“Perhaps she might be finally agreeing to bring in the police force.” Mrs. Cake presumed.
“I have the feeling she might pick one of us to do it.” Mr. Cake said. “One thing’s for sure, I hope it isn’t me.”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed.
“Yeah.” Mr. Cake said. “Wait… what does that supposed to mean?!”
The mayor, Twilight, and Shining walked up to the stage so the meeting can start. Twilight and Shining was in the back of the stage while Skyla was on Twilight’s back as Twilight smiled at her. The mayor walks up to her stand and clears her throat. “Good afternoon, Ponyville.” She started. “Now, we are here today to discuss the security measures here in town. I spoke to Princess Twilight and her brother Prince Shining Armor about it, and as it turns out, we are not going to have a police force here in town.”
Everypony in the audience began to complain and rant, but the mayor didn’t let that get to her because she expected it. She continues, “I know you’d be upset about that, but as it turns out, Shining Armor has an idea that might indeed help out our situation.”
The mayor moves out of her pillar and Shining walks up to it. He just adjusts the microphone and he clears his throat. “Umm… hi. Umm… I’m not much of a… public speaker.” He chuckled embarrassingly. “My wife is usually the speaker of the empire, but I’ll… I’ll do my best.”
“Is he ok?” The mayor whispered into Twilight’s ear.
“He’s not usually open to talk to a crowd standing that close to him.” Twilight said. “If it’s a stadium, no problem, but if he’s on stage, then he gets a little shaken.”
“Now then, I’m sure you all wanted a police force to be made in town, but I assure you that there is no need for that.” Shining explained. “I’ve devised a plan that would help all of you protect your homes and yourselves from any criminal threats.”
“Move Ponyville to another location?!” Pinkie suggested.
“I’m going to be training all of you to fight for yourselves.” Shining said as the townsfolk got confused. “Yes, I know you all are not soldiers, or police officers, or even royal guards, but if you know how to fend for yourselves there is no need to rely on others coming to the rescue. It takes time for help to come, but if you can take care of yourselves, you can fight off the problems right away; and I’ll be here to train all of you. It’s nothing professional, but it’ll be enough.”
“But we’re not fighters. We’re just simple townfolk trying to make a living!” Noteworthy shouted.
“Simple townfolk or not, even the most peaceful places in Equestria get threats from time to time.” Shining explained as a projector screen went down. “I don’t think I need to remind you of all the threats that happened to you in the past. A lot of these can be prevented if everypony in town learns to defend themselves from any other threat that may come in the future.” The photos of the projection show reveal the events of the threats Ponyville had in the past including Discord, the Tumbleweed vines, Cerberus, the Bugbear, Lord Tirek, Trixie with the Alicorn Amulet, and even the giant grown-up Spike. Right after, the projector immediately turns off.
It turns out Spike unplugged the projector, and then he angrily complains to the mayor, “Why would you show everypony a photo of that?! Are you trying to make me feel bad?!” The mayor smiles in embarrassment.
“So what do you say everypony?” Shining asked the crowd. “Shall we work together to make Ponyville a better place?!”
“YEAH!” Everypony yelled.
“Do we want to make your town criminal free?!” Shining yelled.
“YEAH!” Everypony yelled.
“Then let’s do it! I shall train all of you to be like guards!” Shining yelled out in excitement.
“Yay…” The town cheered nervously.
Shining was feeling concerned to why the ponies weren’t enthusiastic enough, but Twilight walks up to him and says, “Don’t worry, big bro, they’ll warm up to the idea.”
“I hope so, Twilie, for the sake of Ponyville.” Shining said. He then mischievously smirks over at the crowd and says, “But I think I have a method that will really help these ponies out!”
So many of the townsfolk gathered into the large field over at Sweet Apple Acres, where the field gets set up into a training facility. The townsfolk that decided to go all put on some training armor that Shining provided for them. Some felt awkward, some were nervous, and some even felt uncomfortable in the uniforms, such as Rainbow Dash. She scratches herself all over and complains, “Why does Twilight’s brother have to make us wear these itchy outfits?”
“It’s trainin’ armor.” Applejack said. “Shinin’ Armor said we’ll need it for the training.”
“Training armor or not, that pony does NOT know sense of fashion!” Rarity complained. “I mean who would ever wear gray? It’s so… bleh!”
“Really? Because I thought ‘bleh’ had color in it?” Pinkie asked.
“Ew! That statement made me like the armor!” Rarity complained feeling disgusted.
“TEN HUT!” Shining yelled as everypony stopped what they were doing and paid attention to him. Shining was wearing his royal guard armor from back in his Canterlot guard days.
“What’s going on?” Rainbow asked.
“I SAID TEN HUT!” Shining yelled at her face as everypony immediately stood still.
“SIR, YES SIR!” Rainbow saluted.
“Good.” Shining said as he walked around and gave a speech. “Now then. I’ve come before all of you today to whip you whimps into shape. If you want to defend yourselves and your homes, you’ll do exactly as I say. Got it?” Everypony mumbled ‘yeah’ or ‘yes’ or ‘meh’. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” He yelled.
“YES, SIR!” everypony yelled.
“I’m pleased to hear it.” Shining said. “Now what I’m about to train you is the best ways to train yourselves in the arts of defense. I know you whimps aren’t royal guard worthy, because only the best of the best get to be royal guards. It’s not all about the looks!” He yells at Bulk Biceps at his last remark, which kinda scares him a bit. “It is about your intellect!” He yells at Cheerilee. “It’s about your strength!” He yells at Big Mac. “No energy boosts are allowed!” He yells at Zecora. “None of you are receiving any special treatments!” He yells at Mr. and Mrs. Cake. “Pony or otherwise!” He yells at Cranky and Matilda. Cranky was feeling grouchy at his remark, but Matilda calmed down. “And most important: none of you are receiving any special treatment!” He yells at the crusaders as they held eachother close in fright.
“Please don’t hurt us!” Apple Bloom begged.
“Ok, that is enough!” Applejack yelled at Shining. “Is all of this really necessary? All this yellin’ and demandin’?”
“That, Applejack, just costed you 50 pushups.” Shining ordered her.
“C’mon! Stop bein’ so ridiculous!” Applejack complained.
“NOW!” Shining yelled which really startled Applejack and she started push-uping.
“Um, Shining?” Fluttershy asked with her hoof up.
“That’s Captain Armor to you!” Shining yelled at her.
Fluttershy covers her face and whimpers, “I’m sorry!”
“So? What’s your question, recruit?” Shining asked.
“Nothing.” Fluttershy whimpers. “Forget I said anything.”
“SPIT IT OUT, SOLDIER!” Shining yelled.
“She wants to know where Twilight is.” Rainbow informs him.
“She, Spike, and Starlight are getting to the bottom of this mystery for you.” Shining said.
“Ok… good.” Rainbow said.
“That question costed you 50 push-ups, Miss Dash. Get to it!” Shining ordered. Rainbow sighs, but then Shining yells, “That sigh costed 50 more! 100 push-ups!” Rainbow flies down to the floor and begins to do push-ups. “Delay drop! 50 more!” He yells.
“Oh you gotta be kidding me!” Rainbow complained.
“100 more!” Shining yelled. Pinkie starts giggling. “YOU WANT TO JOIN HER?!” He yells at Pinkie.
“No!” Pinkie begged.
“Oh c’mon! How come she got a warning but I didn’t?!” Rainbow complained.
“50 more!” Shining yelled at Rainbow.
“Does anypony have any more questions?” Shining asked the townsfolk. No one said anything. “Good, because it’s wise never to ask too many questions. Now let’s get started with a simple obstacle course.”
“Well at least the course is simple.” Applejack whispered to her friends.
Shining points over to the obstacle course on the other side of the field and explains what everypony has to do. “So, you’ll be starting off at the starting line here where you’ll have to run over to the mud pit with the barbwires on top. You’ll have to crouch under the wires and through the mud pit where a rain storm will be stationed above. And WITHOUT rain boots, RARITY!” Rarity immediately stops putting on her boots and she groans loudly as she takes them back off. Shining then continues, “After that, you’ll be swinging these slippery prickery vines on top of an alligator pit.”
“Gummy?” Pinkie asked excitedly. Just then, a giant alligator pops out and chews off one of the three vine ropes. Pinkie then giggles and says, “Gummy, did you eat all the éclairs in the fridge again?”
“Real talk here, Pinkie. I don’t think that’s Gummy.” Rainbow informed her.
“YOU TALKED! 50 MORE!” Shining yelled at Rainbow.
“Pinkie talked more!” Rainbow complained.
“Want to make it 100 more?” Shining asked her. Rainbow sighs as she continues.
“And then finally,” Shining continues, “you’ll be climbing this rock-climbing wall full of various traps.” One of the traps go off, and it was a pie that springs out. “You’ll have to climb that 20 foot wall all the way to the top, and ring that bell. Oh, and no magic or wings are allowed. Do the earth pony way, otherwise you’ll have to start the course over.” The whole crowd groans.
“Beg your pardon, Captain, but that there is NOT an easy course.” Applejack informed him.
“Easier than what we usually do in the academy.” Shining said. “We usually get paintballs shot at us while doing the course.” Shining uses his magic to shoot Applejack with a paintball out of his horn.
“Yeah and how is any of this necessary for self-defense?” Rarity asked.
“You have to be prepared for any obstacle a robber may throw at you.” Shining said. “Now then, if there aren’t any other questions…” Just then, the whole crowd puts their hooves up. “No questions? Good. MOVE OUT!” So the whole town prepares themselves for the obstacle course.
Rainbow stands up and says, “Heh! That looks too easy!”
“Did I say you could stop push-upping?!” Shining yelled at Rainbow.
“Oh c’mon! Push-ups are so boring! Let me do the course!” Rainbow complained.
“200 more!” Shining yelled.
“UGH!” Rainbow groaned as she continued to do her push-ups, and the rest of the town ran over to the starting line of the obstacle course.
Meanwhile, back in the nearly empty Ponyville, Twilight, Spike, and Starlight were searching around town for clues on the mysterious thievery. They each had walkie-talkies so they can communicate with each other while they split up to these different sections. Spike was looking around Carousel Boutique for the thieves while singing to himself. “Mmm hmm hmmm… bad thieves, oh bad thieves, we’re coming for you. There’s nothing in the world that you can never do… to harm me- wow…” He immediately stops singing. “See, this is why I don’t sing.”
“Meow.” A voice said from behind the mirrors. Spike got startled a bit and immediately shined the flashlight towards the mirrors, and it was just Opal licking herself in the darkness. Spike felt foolish to fall for that, as he knew pretty well that Rarity in fact HAS a cat. Just then, Spike’s walkie-talkie went off with Twilight’s voice coming out of it.
“Starlight? Spike? How are things going?” Twilight asked.
Spike picked up the walkie-talkie and said through it, “Um, I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that.”
“I said how are things going?” Twilight repeated.
“Nope, still nothing.” Spike said.
Twilight sighs and says, “This is Bravo Pony to Alpha Dragon, do you read?”
“Loud and clear, Bravo Pony!” Spike said excitedly. “Everything’s clear over at the boutique. Got a birthday cake in the ball hoops, over.”
“Spike, you really need to stop reading those military comics.” Twilight said.
“Do I ever stop you from reading romantic sci-fis out loud?” Spike asked with a smirk.
Twilight sighs and asks, “How about you, Starlight? How are things on your end?”
Starlight was at the Jewelry Store investigating it, because the entire store got ransacked. “Well… every piece of jewelry got ransacked, as expected. Nothing surprising here.” She said on her radio.
“Oh yeah?” The jewelry store owner asked, feeling insulted. “I’d like to see all of your inventory in YOUR store get stolen without a trace!”
“I don’t have a store, so that isn’t my problem.” Starlight said.
“Starlight!” Twilight yelled.
“Oh… sorry about that insult.” Starlight said to the owner. “Don’t worry, I promise we’ll get your inventory back, and everything will be just fine.”
“It better! I don’t trust my insurance company one bit.” The owner said worryingly.
“How about you, Twilight?” Starlight asked on her walkie-talkie. “How are things going at the castle?”
“So far so good.” Twilight said as she searched around the ground floor of her castle. “They didn’t break into the castle yet, but the amount of treasure that is contained here, I have the feeling it won’t be long.”
“So what are you going to do?” Starlight asked.
“I already set up traps around the ground floor since whoever is breaking into the buildings around town seems to be through the ground.” Twilight explained. There were traps set up all around such as a hanging piano, a hanging safe, some butterfly nets, tranquilizer darts, glue and feathers, and others.
“I sense a cliché about to happen.” Spike said.
“Don’t worry, Spike, I’m constantly alert.” Twilight said as she looked around.
“I told you already, I’m Alpha Dragon! Call me by my code name!” Spike demanded.
“Twilight, are you sure whoever is doing this is going to be at the castle?” Starlight asked. “I mean, who would have the nerve to infiltrate the castle containing the Princess of Friendship?”
“Because I have Spike’s hidden stash of gems out in the open. No thief in the right mind would decline this offer.” Twilight explained.
“Bravo Pony, if you’re going to keep using my stuff without my permission, I’m going to start touching your stuff without yours.” Spike complained.
Twilight suddenly hears a rumbling noise coming from under the castle. “Here they come! I better hide.” Twilight said as she jumps behind one of the columns. The ground was shaking below Twilight; she can feel the vibration below her hooves. Twilight peeks out at her traps, but so far, nothing went through the floor. The tremors were continuing, but nothing showed up still. The tremors eventually slowed down and disappeared. “What the?” Twilight asked curiously.
“What’s wrong?” Starlight asked.
“They just completely went passed the castle.” Twilight said. “They didn’t even try breaking in.”
“Perhaps they were just being polite?” Spike asked.
“Maybe.” Twilight said. “But I don’t think we can find out here. We’re going to have to go find them at the source.”
“You don’t mean?” Spike asked.
“Oh she means. I really have the feeling she means!” Starlight said.
“Yep, we’re going underground!” Twilight said.
Back with Shining Armor and the rest of the townsfolk, they were running around the orchard in two separate lines with Shining leading the pack. He started to chant, “We are the ponies of Ponyville!”
“We are the ponies of Ponyville!” The townsfolk chanted.
“It is the greatest town we ever built!” Shining chanted.
“It is the greatest town we ever built!” The townsfolk chanted.
“It is the town full of friendship and harmony!” Shining chanted.
“It is the town full of friendship and harmony!” The townsfolk chanted.
“Keep out all the chaos and agony!” Shining chanted.
“Keep out all the chaos and agony!” The townsfolk chanted.
“Sound off!”
“One-two!”
“Sound off!”
“Three-four!”
“Once again from the top!” Shining yelled. “We are the ponies of Ponyville!”
“We are the ponies of Ponyville!” The townsfolk chanted.
“YOU KEEP TALKING LIKE YOU LIVE YOU HERE!” Rainbow Dash yelled from the distance.
“50 MORE!” Shining yelled. So as the townsfolk continued to ride around the orchard for so long, for so many miles, Big Mac started to feel dehydrated. He was breathing heavily and started to slow down as everypony was running passed him. He then collapsed to the ground, and Applejack got worried and ran up to him.
“Big Mac!” She yelled as she comforted him. “Are you ok?”
“Ugggh.” Big Mac moaned in pain.
“What is the meaning of this?!” Shining yelled as he ran over to Applejack and Big Mac. “Why are you lyin’ down in the middle of trainin’?”
“He’s exhausted. He needs to rest.” Applejack said.
“Yeah we all do!” One of the townsfolk ponies complained.
“Quiet, or I’ll make you do push-ups with Rainbow Dash!” Shining threatened him. He then turned down to Big Mac and said, “I expected more coming from you! I’ve seen fillies move better than you!” He said that as the CMCs ran by, and all three of them glared at Shining. “You’re a failure, Big McIntosh! If you want to know how to protect yourself, you’d push yourself to the limit instead of lying down like a weasel!”
Big Mac growled angrily as he stood back up. He started to angrily march over to Shining like he was about to fight him, but Applejack stopped. “Whoa nelly! Calm down, big brother. He’s not worth the extra energy.”
“No, Applejack. He needs to be ready.” Shining said. “It’s just his anger coming out that’s giving him strength. It’s what I want from him. Good job, Big McIntosh. Now let’s move out!” Shining walks up to the front of the line again.
“Wow, it’s been a while since anypony’s called you by your full name.” Applejack said to her brother.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac agreed.
“Yoohoo!” Granny Smith called out as she joined up with the pack while pulling a cart full of apple treats. “Ah hope everypony’s havin’ fun with their little games so ah made everypony some treats to help restore your energy!”
Shining sighs and facehooves himself. “First off, this isn’t a game, it’s basic training.”
“Basic… really?” Rarity asked.
“And second, why are you giving them apple sugary treats?” Shining asked.
“It’s quick sugary energy!” Granny Smith said. “It’s good for the soul.”
“Not good for the health though.” Shining said. “I will not standby and let my soldiers get fat and unhealthy because of a quick sugary snack that’s,” he goes up to Granny’s face and their muzzles touch, “good for the soul!”
“Your soldiers?!” Rarity yelled.
“Shinin’ we’re NOT soldiers!” Applejack reminded him. “We’re just townsfolk that are learning to protect themselves from danger.”
“Yeah, and dangerous things too.” Pinkie said.
“Let me tell all of you something.” Shining started. “I’m here to help you fend for yourselves of anything possible out there that would want to take advantage of your town. I mean look at you. You’re soft.” He pokes a fat pony’s belly.
“That’s what makes me huggable!” The fat pony said with joy.
“No, no! This will never do!” Shining said. “You all need to be swift and ready!”
“So, um… when are we actually going to practice fighting?” Fluttershy asked with her hoof up.
“When you all are ready.” Shining said angrily at her.
“Ok.” Fluttershy whispered in fright.
“Now then, prepare for another mile run around the orchard!” Shining called out. The entire town groaned in annoyance.
“This stinks! I wanna run!” Rainbow Dash called out from the distance.
“You’ll run when you finish your push-ups, now 40 more!” Shining called out.
“40, huh?” Rainbow asked herself. “Now he decides to be nice.”
Meanwhile over at Carousel Boutique, Twilight flies down into the hole to explore. She uses her light source spell on her horn to see down there. Spike asks on the walkie-talkie, “Bravo Pony, are you sure it’s wise to go down there by yourself? I know how to dig.”
“Sorry, Alpha Dragon, but somepony needs to watch over the town and see if the robber shows up. That’s why I’m leaving you and Starlight up there.” Twilight said.
“Just be careful down there.” Spike advised her as Twilight steps down on ground zero. Twilight searches around for any clues that may or may not be there. So far it was just rocks and dirt, and even a spider drops down on Twilight’s nose. She gets startled when she spots it and . As Twilight was searching, Spike tried to contact her, but she barely understood a word he said since the walkie-talkie became all staticy.
“Spike? Spike? Alpha Dragon? Hello?” Twilight asked on the walkie-talkie. There was no response, just static. “Starlight? Can you hear me?” There was no answer on her end either. “The cave must be interfering with the signal.” She said to herself. “I’m on my own for now.” Twilight started to hear some strange echoes coming from the other end of the cave. She slowly walked towards where the noise was coming from, but she was prepared for anything.
Twilight’s heart was beating fast, she started to sweat, because she didn’t know what to expect. Who or what is in the catacombs of Ponyville was unknown to Twilight. Just then, she trips on a pebble (how clumsy of her), and she starts to roll down to the hilly part of the cave. She goes through a spider web as she keeps rolling down to a section of the cave that was really dusty. Twilight was coughing up the dust as she attempts to stand up. She then feels something tickling up on her. She looked down and saw a group of spiders on her. She screamed as she wiped them all off her. She rubbed herself against a cave pillar and then she used her magic to cover herself, and she used some sort of shockwave to toss the spiders off her. She breathed heavily after she was finished, and then she wiped the sweat off her forehead in relief.
“Whoa! That was amazing!” A voice that sounded much like a child’s said at the other end of the cave. Twilight couldn’t see the child, as it was too dark.
“Huh?” Twilight asked. “Oh thank you! Yes, I learned that spell from Starswirl the Bearded’s book. If I ever get surrounded, the spell allows me to… HEY! Wait a minute!” After finding out there was a child in the cave, the child began to run. Twilight began chasing the child through the caves. “Hey, wait up!” Twilight called out. After finding out how fast he is, Twilight uses her teleportation spell to teleport right in front of him. “I just want to talk to you!” The child then jumps right over Twilight as if he was an Olympic star. “Whoa!” Twilight gasped in amazement as she started chasing him again. “Stop running!” She called out. “I just want to talk to you!”
The child was running towards a lighted area in the cave. Twilight felt concerned to why there was, but her question was answered when she got into cavern. It was a cavern full of random objects and furniture. “Wait, is this… is this all the stolen stuff from Ponyville?” Twilight looked around at the stolen objects until he saw the child peeking his head out. She knew he wasn’t a pony. “Well hey there, little guy!” Twilight said gently to the child. The child continues to hide in fright. “No, no, wait. Why are you hiding? I’m not gonna hurt you. I promise.”
The child peeked his head out. He looked like a puppy of some sort. “But the other dogs say that ponies are mean.”
“Who said that?” Twilight asked.
“The other Diamond Dogs.” The child said.
“The Diamond Dogs, huh?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah.” The child said.
“Well… did the other Diamond Dogs tell you it was wrong to steal from others?” Twilight asked.
“Only from other Diamond Dogs.” The child said. “From any other animal, it’s fine.”
“Animals, huh?” Twilight asked. “Well… perhaps the others don’t understand. It is not right to take from anyone.”
“It’s not?” The child asked.
“No it’s not.” Twilight said.
“So… am I going to be punished?” The child asked.
“Of course not.” Twilight said. “You don’t know any better. But I have no idea to why you have stolen all this stuff from the citizens of Ponyville.”
“The other dogs said it would make me cool if I stole a bunch of shinny stuff.” The child said.
“Well they don’t sound ‘cool’ to me.” Twilight said. “You know what I consider to be ‘cool’?”
“What?” The child asked.
“Being yourself, and doing what you think is right.” Twilight said. “Now isn’t that the coolest thing ever?”
The child nodded and smiled. “Yes. Yes it does!”
“What’s your name?” Twilight asked.
“Pit. My name is Pit.” The child said.
“Nice to meet you, Pit! I’m Twilight Sparkle!” Twilight said.
Back up on the surface, Shining was still overworking the townsfolk by making them do another obstacle course run. Rarity and Zecora were crawling down the barbwire, sweating like crazy. Rarity was really feeling disgusted that she has to step on the mud, and she growls right after Shining shoots a paintball at her.
“Get your back into it, soldiers!” Shining yelled. Bulk and Pinkie were swinging on top of the alligator pit as the alligator pops out and takes a big chompy bite at Bulk’s tail. Gummy who was hanging on Pinkie’s head pops out and jumps off of her hair and into the alligator pit.
“GUMMY!” Pinkie cried. “No! There’s a big meanie in there!” Pinkie looks down at the pit and sees Gummy and the giant alligator in there hugging eachother, and for the first time, Gummy smiles. “Oh… I see.” She starts to tear up. “You want to be with your mama, don’t you? It’s ok, Gummy. It’s where you belong.” As Pinkie was wiping her tears, Shining shoots a painball at her and Bulk.
“Move it!” Shining yelled as he starts to shoot more painballs at random ponies like Noteworthy, Cherry Berry, and Caramel. “Come on! You have to be ready for anything!” He then shoots another paintball at Big Mac, who was climbing on the rock climbing wall with Applejack. He started to get really angry again.
“Easy, sugarcube.” Applejack comforted him. “Our patience will be rewarded soon enough. Just hold your-“ Just then, another paintball gets shot at Applejack’s face. She glares over at Shining and said, “On second thought, do it, Big Mac.” Big Mac suddenly jumps off of the wall along with some of the other townsfolk and they angrily marched over to Shining.
“What’s the meaning of this, troops?!” Shining yelled. “Get back to training right now!” Nopony listened. They just kept marching over to him angrily. “Uh, soldiers? What do you think you’re doing? Soldiers?”
Just before the townsfolk could do anything to Shining, Twilight immediately shouts out which stops them, “Attention citizens of Ponyville!” All of the townsfolk immediately stopped what they were doing and turned their attention over to Twilight. Twilight was standing on the edge of the field along with Spike and Starlight beside her, and Skyla sitting on her back. “We have found your missing belongings and the burglar has been stopped!”
The entire town cheered after hearing that news. “We’re saved!” Mrs. Cake cried out.
“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle! This is such a relief!” Mr. Cake cried out.
“UGH!” Rainbow groaned as she limped towards Twilight. “I swear, one more push up, I was going to lose it! Ugh, it feels like my legs are about to fall off!”
“Wait, what?” Twilight asked.
“You don’t know, Twilight?” Rarity asked.
“What do I not know?” Twilight asked.
“Your brother wasn’t teachin’ us how to defend ourselves!” Applejack said. “He was puttin’ us through difficult obstacle courses and everythin’! How many times do we have to tell him that WE’RE NOT SOLDIERS!”
“I’m sorry for saying this, Twilight, but your brother is pretty… bossy.” Fluttershy said.
Twilight looks over at Shining as he chuckles embarrassingly. “Hey, Twilie!” He said. “So… about that robber…”
“Is this true, Shining?” Twilight asked feeling disappointed. “Did you put the entire town through difficult obstacle courses like they were part of the guard or something?”
“Yes, but I thought that was the best way to do it?” Shining asked. “I mean, the Royal Guard are highly trained professionals. I thought that’s what I needed to do so everypony would know how to defend themselves from anything?”
“Well, they’re not.” Twilight said. “All they needed to learn was to defend their homes from intruders – not protect a princess from any threats.” Skyla crosses her arms and nods in agreement to her father.
“But, I… I…” Shining sighs. “I just wanted to help Ponyville out. Anything could happen. You’ve all had disasters that hit here before.”
“Yes we did, but together as a town, we can protect ourselves from anything.” Twilight said.
“Exactly.” The mayor agreed. “You may not have known it, but for every threat this town has had, we were able to fight them off. Why? Because we have the Princess of Friendship, as well as her friends within the Elements of Harmony.”
“Exactly!” Applejack said. “We are a town of pure hearts as our strength. We can protect eachother from anythin’, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need a little help defendin’ ourselves.”
Shining looked down upsettingly, but then he smiles. “Alright, everypony! Line up!”
“Shining!” Twilight yelled.
“Don’t worry, Twilie. I know what I’m doing.” Shining winked at her.
So then, the townsfolk got pretty curious on what Shining was doing, but as it turns out, the townsfolk are finally learning how to defend themselves properly, and Shining wasn’t training them like soldiers. He was training them like friends. Giving them the guidance they needed in a proper manner. He was even extra friendly towards the little ones, and so the townsfolk began to respect him again, even Big Mac, who he brohooved.
At the end of the day as everypony was beat and turning in, Shining calls out, “Alright everypony! That was excellent work! Really excellent! I’m so proud on how far all of you have gone! Once again, I do apologize for my behavior before. I hope you can forgive me.”
“It is no problem at all, Shining Armor!” The mayor said. “Glad you can be at our service at our time of need!”
“That’s right, now we will be able to defend ourselves properly against anything that can be thrown at us!” Rainbow said. “I mean, not that I couldn’t defend myself before, but… meh, always willing to learn!”
“So once again, well done, everypony! Well done!” Shining said. “If you ever need any help just ask for some guidance from your friends and they’ll be able to help you out, and perhaps I can help you out too if I’m still in town, and… just… well done!” So everypony thanked Shining as they all began to leave.
Pinkie Pie turned back and saw Gummy with the alligator, and she smiled at him. Gummy looked over at her and smiles back. Pinkie starts to tear up again as she turns around and walks away. Gummy’s smile goes away as he starts to communicate with the mama alligator. The mama alligator communicates back, and after a short conversation full of gibberish, the mama alligator nods as Gummy started hoping over to Pinkie. Pinkie smiles with glee as she holds her arms out and Gummy hops onto Pinkie’s arms and they give eachother a big hug. Gummy looks back at his mama, and his mama waves goodbye as she dives back down into her pit.
“Well, I guess everypony in town is ready to fend off whoever may threat us next!” Twilight said.
“Thanks for reminding me who I was actually training, sis!” Shining said. “I guess I just miss being Capitan of the Royal Guard in Canterlot, training cadets. Shouting at them felt so good, but I knew it was only because I wanted to help them.”
“I know, Shining.” Twilight said. “But some ponies just don’t like taking orders the way you give them. Sometimes ponies need to know that you’re at level with them, and show them compassion and understanding instead of punishments and discipline; and by the way, you could still train the Crystal Empire Royal Guard!”
“Hmm…” Shining thought. “Yeah, you’re probably right! I should do that!” Skyla cheers in excitement. “By the way, Twilie, who was the criminal that’s been stealing Ponyville’s processions?”
“Well…” Twilight giggles. “Let’s just say the criminal has learned his lesson, and won’t be stealing anything anymore. Now that everypony has their stuff back, everything is officially back to normal!”
“Well ah’m glad we’re all ready for anythin’ that comes in our way!” Applejack said.
Just then, there was a screaming coming from the distance. “What was that?” Twilight asked.
“That sounded like Apple Bloom!” Applejack cried. “Hold on, Apple Bloom! We’re comin’!” Just then, Applejack, Big Mac, Twilight (with Skyla on her back), Starlight, Spike, and Shining all ran to where the screaming was coming from, over at the barn. They all ran to the kitchen where the screaming was coming from. “Apple Bloom, are you ok-“ Applejack was about to say, but it turns out whoever broke in had his flank kicked by the crusaders.
Scootaloo was on a fighting stance as Sweetie Belle was tying up the masked pony criminal. Apple Bloom then said, “This pony broke in and tried to steal Granny’s fancy silverware! Ah desperately couldn’t let it happen!”
“And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you kids that know how to fight!” The criminal complained.
“I guess the best way for a pony to gain courage is to know what you’re fighting for!” Twilight said. Then they all laughed. Wow, what an original way to end an episode. Gee-wiz!
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References to Spongebob and Scooby-Doo
I'm waiting for the day MLP does that
But where does the cupcake-camera come from? I'm sure I know it from somewhere.
Read half of it and got a few errors.
Isn't it supposed to be hopping?
And its Shining Armour not Armor.
Shiny not shinny.
From him? Creepy.
The chapter is good till now. I'll read the remaining when I have the time.
Hope Spike finds out what his calling is, and hopefully it's good, and is there going to be a Scootaloo episode where the Main 6 and the crusaders try to know about Scootaloo like where she lives and if she has parents or is a orphan, just wondering because the show itself really doesn't find out?
7045127 You're right about the "hopping" thing, but his name is actually spelled "Armor".
7045602 Guess something's wrong with my memory.
Finally completed the story. I actually liked this one, not saying that I didn't like the others, I just liked this more, and strangely I don't exactly know why.
7045505 Agreed, the show never actually showed anything about scootaloo's background and family.
Hey, this was awesome! My new favorite chapter because...everything that's in here, including Shining Armor. Especially Shining Armor. So the thief was a Diamond Dog. I knew it! Also, am I the only one who half expected Shining Armor to sing a training montage?
7050487 There's already too many songs in this story! I got one next chapter and another one the chapter after that! I also have two musical chapters coming up near the end of the season. Besides, Shining got his chance to sing in the premiere. :3
Alright everyone! I'm gonna be releasing the halfway point chapter tomorrow! That way we can finish things here beforehand, and then on Saturday you'll be prepared for the new season! Chapters 14-26 will be coming during the real season six's halfway point!