The magic’s construction unravelled in Twilight’s brain, she knew what she would have to do to disable the magic, but at what cost? Each unicorn has a different frequency for their magic; this frequency gives them their unique magic colour and stops other ponies’ magic from mixing it up with their own. However, it is possible to change your frequency, but it is impossible to change it back.
Twilight thought about the consequences of tuning her magic to Luna’s. While it meant she could disable the bubble, it would mean that she and Luna would have their magic forever linked together. Every spell cast by one could be felt by the other, and while their magic levels would be combined, depleting the magic of one would deplete the magic of the other. Twilight sighed and considered whether to go ahead with this plan. She didn’t have to think long though, her sense of duty telling her which decision would be the one to make, for the sake of the princess, she would change her frequency.
The process for changing one's magical frequency is hard to complete for those with lesser magical abilities. Luckily for Twilight, she most certainly did not have lesser magical power. She thought back to Starswirl the Bearded’s scrolls on magic and remembered the steps for altering your magical frequency. First she would have to touch the magic of the frequency she wished to change to, this involved touching the magical bubble, and this is why you wouldn't be able to change back - your original magic doesn't exist anymore so you can't touch it. She hesitantly moved up to the bubble and touched it with a wince, expecting it to throw her back violently. She let out a breath of relief when nothing untoward occurred and went onto step 2; envisioning the colour of the magic of the frequency you wish to change to. She closed her eyes and thought about the dark blue colour of Luna’s magic. And then the third and final step. She touched her horn to the bubble and sent out a spark of her magic, at the same time keeping Luna’s magical colour in her mind. Suddenly the bubble spread out, enveloping Twilight and drawing her inside Luna’s nightmare.
Everything started out dark, not the dark of an unlit room, but the blackness a blind man has, so dark you feel like you’ll never see again. Twilight couldn’t hear anything besides her own breathing, it was ragged and unsteady. She was afraid to call out, hesitant of what would answer her call. She blinked a couple of times to assure herself that there really wasn’t any light, there wasn’t. She inched forward a few steps and hit her hoof on something soft, she pulled away quickly, protection spells running through her mind, ready to be released at moment’s notice. After what felt like days she calmed down a bit and once more edged forward, this time feeling out with her front hoof until it once more touched the soft, warm object. She felt along its length and found the texture changing from hair to feathers, was it a pegasus? She continued along the object until she built up a mental image of its dimensions, once she reached the top though she felt something hard and cold protruding out of the object, as soon as she touched it a glow built up, originating from under her hoof. Twilight jumped back about two feet, more scared of the glow then she was of the darkness. However, as the glow illuminated the object she stopped backing away, it was a familiar form. Princess Luna lay completely still, stretched out on the floor.
"Princess Luna?" Twilight asked hesitantly, in response the figure’s head raised up until it was facing Twilight, eyes still closed. Twilight’s breathing rate skyrocketed, Luna didn’t seem to be breathing or moving at all apart from the head, which was now facing Twilight. She held her breath, slowly backing further from the mare. As soon as Twilight moved back, a voice boomed out, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once.
"STOP!" That single syllable was enough to freeze Twilight in her tracks, at the same time Luna’s eyes flew open. These were not her eyes however; they were the elliptical pupils of Nightmare Moon. Instantly Twilight sprang into action, now that she knew her enemy she was not afraid.
"Nightmare Moon! What are you doing here?"
Twilight asked, now standing her ground against the mare that was Luna with the Nightmare’s eyes, Luna slowly rose of the ground until she was standing. She didn’t get up using her hooves though, it looked like she was falling, but in reverse. Luna now stood facing Twilight, looking down at the mare.
"Twilight Sparkle, is that you? What pray tell, are you doing here?" The figure said, in Luna’s voice, half between the old Canterlot speech and the modern dialect, “This is our Nightmare." Twilight was confused, torn between believing that her friend, Princess Luna, stood in front of her and that her old nemesis, Nightmare Moon, had returned.
"Who are you?" She asked.
"You don’t recognize your friend?" The other mare asked in a hurt voice.
"How do I know you’re the real Princess Luna?" Twilight asked, not lowering her guard.
"Who else could there be?" The mare asked, seemingly intent on answering all of Twilight’s questions with more questions.
"I don’t know, anypony I guess. You said this was a nightmare so anything could happen." Twilight replied.
"No, We said it was our Nightmare." Luna/Nightmare replied.
"What’s the difference?" Twilight asked. The other mare sighed and sat down.
"Let us tell about this place." The mare said, and started talking.
"You see, the Nightmare is all of our, sorry, my bad emotions amplified," She stopped with the half-modern-half-old style of speech and switched to plain old modern speech, "They can consume me if I’m not careful. One thousand years ago, when I first felt the Nightmare start to overcome me I brought myself here to fight against the Nightmare without endangering others. However, as you know, I failed and Nightmare Moon overtook me and attempted eternal night." Luna/Nightmare Moon gave a shudder in remembrance of the horrid event. "During my banishment it was greatly weakened and I managed to once more be in control of my body, however it has been in control for so long that tendrils of its existence still hold sway occasionally. When I felt the Nightmare return inside me I sent myself here and I created an impenetrable bubble that could only be broken with my magic. You see, the Nightmare has its own magic and cannot use mine so even if I did fail against it, the Nightmare would be trapped here.
Unfortunately I failed; the Nightmare is controlling my body, thrashing it about in the bubble. I am trapped here until we can overcome it." Twilight listened to her story quietly, unconsciously deciding that this mare was actually Luna. She continued to sit in silence after the tale had finished. The minutes were dragging on in silence while Twilight thought about what to do. Eventually, Twilight spoke, her voice full of hope.
"Princess Luna, if I combined my magic with yours, would we be able to overcome the Nightmare together?" Twilight asked. Luna’s brow creased as she thought up an answer.
"Interesting... That could work; the Nightmare isn’t that much stronger than me at the moment. However, the only way to combine magic is if our own individual magic resonated at the same frequency, and that’s irreversible if you do indeed change yours." Princess Luna replied, more to herself than Twilight. Twilight looked slightly guilty at the mention of changing magical frequencies.
"Umm... Princess?" Twilight interrupted Luna’s thoughts.
"Please, call me Luna, there is no need for formalities, at the moment the Nightmare is the princess." Luna replied, Twilight nodded and took this as an indication to carry on.
"Ok, Luna, I may have already changed my frequency to get inside the bubble..." Twilight said hesitantly, hoping Luna wouldn’t get angry at her. Luna froze and stared at Twilight in bewilderment.
"You’ve already changed your frequency to mine?" Luna asked incredulously, with a flash of the Nightmare’s demeanour, but she gave a shake of her head and was once more Luna. Twilight looked even guiltier than before.
"Yes." She replied, unable to look Luna in the face "I’m sorry princess! It was the only way to get past the bubble!" Luna’s eyes shot wide open.
"Please don’t tell me that you disabled the bubble...” She asked, staring straight ahead, not looking at Twilight.
"No I didn't" Twilight replied quickly. Luna sighed in relief and settled back into calm, "As soon as I changed my frequency it sent me here." Luna nodded and explained.
"That’s understandable, magic ties closely with your brain; ponies with identical frequencies usually have their dreams linked, as well as their emotions." Luna looked straight into Twilight’s purple eyes, "I sure hope you understand the implications of what you have done, there is no way to change your frequency back and you will be forever tied to me." Twilight nodded, already aware of what it meant.
"Yes, I know what this means, but it was the only way to help you." Twilight explained.
Luna sat silently for a while.
"I am... touched, that somepony would do something like this, for me." Luna said, her calm demeanour cracking slightly, showing some of the emotions lying underneath. Twilight felt these emotions as if they were her own. She had feelings of sadness, of hope, and of something else. Twilight decided that prying into Luna’s emotions wasn’t what either of them wanted right now. Twilight stood up, feeling confident.
"Well, now that I have my magic linked to yours, we might be able to use it to get out of here!" Twilight exclaimed as Luna’s demeanour once more became calm.
"Yes, let us do this." Luna replied, also standing.
Twilight felt Luna’s magic blossom and responded with her own magic, it was not the regular purple of her magic, and Luna’s was not the blue she was used to. Both of their magical glows came out as a dark violet colour. They both felt the magic of the other, and used this awareness to keep both levels of magic even and steady. The two mares unconsciously understood what they had to do, sending a beam of magic up into the air above them. The beams twirled round each other, eventually interconnecting to become a single beam that grew in intensity as both mares held their ground against the intense magic they were sending forth.
The shadows congealed into a point beside them, and they stopped their magic to see what was happening. The shadows rose up and formed into the familiar shape of Nightmare Moon.
"What do you think you’re doing? You hope to best me?" The Nightmare shouted in her over-confident tone that the citizens of Equestria knew and feared. Twilight and Luna stood their ground, knowing that together they could overcome the darkness.
"You won’t control me anymore Nightmare, with our magic we can, and will, defeat you." Luna was staring straight into the Nightmare’s eyes, they flashed with something akin to fear, but it was quickly replaced by the confident gaze of someone who knows they will win.
"Ha! Don’t make me laugh; even with this foal here you cannot hope to destroy me. I’m too deep into your soul." The Nightmare said, and both Twilight and Luna knew it to be true. Twilight took a step towards the Nightmare, drawing her attention.
"What do you want, you insignificant foal?" The Nightmare asked, glaring down at Twilight.
"We may not be able to completely destroy you Nightmare, but I’m linked to Luna now. I’ll provide my magic whenever it is needed and throw you down each time." Twilight said in a quiet, yet confident voice.
"Those are fighting words." The Nightmare uttered, charging up her magic, Luna took a step forward so she and Twilight were standing side by side.
They charged up their magic as well, the twin beams releasing at the same time as the Nightmare’s blue magic. The three beams met in the middle, The Nightmare’s beginning to push back Luna’s and Twilight’s beams. Their twins beams started to merge and fight back against the Nightmare, the glow intensifying so all three had to close their eyes. A massive explosion tore apart their makeshift battlefield, throwing the three ponies away, as if they weighed nothing. Twilight never touched the floor though, just as she was about to hit she disappeared from the dream realm and hit the carpeted floor of Luna’s bedroom, hard enough to knock the breath out of her.
"Oof!" Twilight grunted out as she crashed to the floor, she tried to rise but couldn’t move her body. Hoping she hadn’t broken anything, she contented herself with looking around the room. She saw the bubble had disappeared, and Luna was sprawled out on the bed, seemingly unconscious. Twilight could see her chest rise and fall regularly, and gave a sigh of relief, but there was something different about Luna. She heard footsteps from behind her; however, blackness was eating away at the edge of her vision. As she succumbed to unconsciousness she heard a soft voice speak.
"Well done my pupil, you did it." A smile played on the edge of Twilight’s lips and she blacked out.
Ooookay, before I say anything else I will say that I've been enjoying this story,and that magical frequency idea I found very intriguing. However, the bit about only being to change frequency once and then never again seems like an awfully contrived notion, at the very least I think you need to offer some kind of explanation for that. If I may offer an alternate suggestion(with all due respect, I don't want you to feel like I'm interfering with your story), maybe the nature of the divine magical frequencies causes her to be stuck once she tunes into it or something like that.
Once again, I'm enjoying the story but that really kept me from enjoying the rest of the chapter fully.
Also, I don't like harping on grammar and the like but I think some editing could be helpful as well.
The errors, while minor, occur frequently enough to interfere with your storytelling. What really threw me is the complete lack of characterization: every pony in this story has identical speech patterns. They're just puppets placed into the story so you can write dialogue.
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You know, I've been thinking about that, and I've come up with the idea the your magical state is a fragile thing and changing your frequency alters almost everything in it, thus making it unstable, hence the linkage between ponies magic if they have the same frequency. In this unstable state, if you attempt to change your magic once more it would break your magic. Also, this explains why the other pony can't just change away from the pony who changed to their frequency as they are linked so it would still alter the other's magic enough to break it. I know that sounds a bit rambly but I think I'll add it in in the next chapter, hopefully better written. Also, if you find errors I would be more than happy to alter the story, I'm not the best at grammar. Thanks for the feedback though.
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I'm not so good at speech patterns but I know what you mean, this is my second fanfic, the first one was really crap so I don't really count it. I may go back and change the dialogue to more fit the characters, especially Luna. Thanks for the feedback, I'll also try to fix up any errors I find, if you find any though please point them out and I'll alter the story. Thanks for the feedback though.
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Thanks, I hope you stick around for the later chapters.
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I think it would be unnecessary that the second pony (Luna) couldn't change their magic to another pony's since that wouldn't really solve the problem anyways. And the fact that you can't change your magic back is pretty obvious since you would have to touch a spell with your old frequency, but you don't have that anymore so that is simply impossible...
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Well, that makes more sense than my ramblings, I'll add it in somewhere. Thanks for the feedback.
nice, if you cleaned up your grammar a little it would be even better but for now i can manage.
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Thanks, also yeah, I need an editor. I don't suppose anyone wants to volunteer?
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I would offer but that means work X D, besides i doubt i have the greatest idea of grammatical constructs compared to other people. Good luck on your hunt though!
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Yeah, work isn't my favourite thing in the world. Thanks anyway though.
The thing about the logic of of it is that it doesn't necessarily have to work according to the way we think, part of my issue of getting past that was thinking about frequency the way I think about normal light or sound frequencies, as long as you can establish the rules of magical frequency as separate from those of other kinds of wavelengths then you can basically make up any explanation you want. The way it currently sounds would be like someone changing the natural frequency at which they speak, which is entirely possible, it just takes time and effort, why wouldn't they be able to change back. I'm not sure how I feel about the fragility explanation but it would take me a long time to explain and I have to go to work. As for that second explanation, I am not sure I understand what you mean, in order to change frequency to start with she has to touch a frequency that is not her own. Honestly I've been thinking and I think the best way to go about explaining this would be to say that frequency is just a layman's term, that it is not actually a wavelength, or that it is used to describe the light wavelengths given off, but it is an entirely separate quality.
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I've given up on that whole fragility thing and gone with Drakinho's idea of not being able to touch your original magic. As for why you need to touch the magic of the frequency you wish to change to is because magic is within you, it cannot be measured by conventional means, the same way you cannot measure your soul. This means that you cannot find out the frequency of any magic. However, if you touch the magic then your magic will unconsciously feel the frequency, envisioning the colour of the magic makes your mind unconsciously find the frequency and finally by sending magic out it will link the two frequencies together, binding you to it and switching your frequency. Also, by frequency I mean that everypony has a unique frequency, like a radio station that cannot be altered apart from through this method. However, I get what you mean about frequency mostly meaning light waves etc. I might think of a different word sometime, unless you have any suggestions.
You know, that makes more sense in my mind. I might add a footnote or something with an extract from Starswirl the Bearded's scroll explaining this, hopefully better written than this reply.
Nice promising introduction and an interesting concept. You have my Thumbs up and tracking there can never be enough dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png stories
I caught one little Grammar error while I usualy just life with these I stumbled over that one in Chapter 1
"One of the hardest spells she had put on it was when she 12 and she had ran out of room in the book." I think there needs to be a "was" added
looking forward of Twilight nursing back Luna to Strengh. Cuteness ensues
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Twiluna is best shipping pair. Thanks for pointing out that error, I fixed it up now. Also, if you have any suggestions, I'm open.
MOAR LunaXTwilight stories!!!
great work so far. tracked and looking forward to the next chapter
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Thanks, I am currently writing Chapter 4 as I write this comment, If you want to see my progress on the next chapter click on the googledocs link, however anything you see there is subject to change.
im hooked, that magical frequency link thing was something i did not expect.
Good stuff~
I have a few words to say to people who read this comment one this seems to be a fabulous story so far very good and well thought out and two remember twilight sparkles diary it has a link to a certain someponies magic but still a very fabulous story
PACING PACING PACING PACING PACING PACING!!!!!!!!!!!
that is all
This story could use some work, the two major things I would say,
1) like somebody else said all the characters speak the same way and that way doesn't really fit any of them
2) several times so far in the story you use phrases like this,
Everything started out dark, not the dark of an unlit room, but the blackness a blind man has, so dark you feel like you’ll never see again.
disregarding any grammatical errors for the sake of example, I feel that using the word you like this (especially when it is not a first person story directed at the reader by a narrating main character... if that made any sense) is distracting and draws the reader out of the story. It doesn't really fit in the context of everything around it. A better, definitely not perfect way to say it could be,
...but the kind of darkness that seemed like it could last forever
Hey, guywiththeface here again,
You're story's pretty long so I think it might work better if I give occasional mini-reviews while I know specifically what to say and just have the official one at the end.
So far the story seems very interesting, however i noticed a few plot holes. during luna's explanation she skipped over her return and how she was still nightmare moon. She also implied that she was in control when she arrived. Also it doesn't really make sense that they just started feeling the connection despite Twilight having made it before even entering. A connection of that magnitude seems like something you'd feel quickly. Sorry if these plot critique aren't helpful, my strength is plot so that's what I notice more.
Also Luna doesn't really have any emotion when she talks, she just states facts. If you want to go for a stoic personality that's fine but you have to acknowledge it at the start or it looks like you just didn't write them with any feeling.
That said you have some really good word choice and Nightmare moon retaining some hold over Luna is surprisingly uncommon in stories, especially for romances, so you definitely get points for creativity
This is really good so far. I'm going to read another chapter.
Changing back is easy , just imprint an object, a mana kristal for example, before you change frequency and then use the object to change back. And why didn't Twilight even get the idea that she may lose her element of Harmony?