"Have you seen Sunset anywhere?"
"No, Your Highness. I have not seen Sunset Shimmer anywhere all day."
"You lost her?"
"I apologize, but she was obviously gone before my shift."
"Corporal Armor, I'm disappointed."
The Royal Guard was about to cry upon hearing those heartbreaking words from the Princess of Equestria. He shook in his armor, making loud rattling noises that only further flustered the princess. Celestia narrowed her eyes on him, but soon sighed and looked away.
"Fine. I believe I know where she is. You stay here and act like she's in her room. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Your Highness!" he saluted awkwardly.
He's such an odd stallion. I doubt he'll ever marry. Celestia rolled her eyes and left him there, still saluting in all his oddness. With a slightly faster pace than she would normally walk, she went over to the Cave's entrance. It was at the end of a long hallway that lacked any decoration and any signs of use. Not even that maids attended to this isolated part of the palace as cobwebs and dust covered the walls like grey paintings. At the end of this dull and mundane hall was the thick door that led into the Cave.
She slowly opened it, checking the corners with caution before opening it all the way to enter. There were definite signs of recent activity. Some books were scattered on the floor, showing that Sunset had been somewhat busy. Her hoofs tried to lightly touch the floor as it was easy for small sounds to echo in the Cave.
"Sunset?" she asked the air. "Sunset Shimmer, are you down here?"
"Yes! Your Highness, I'm over here!"
"'Your Highness?'" Celestia said in genuine surprise. This can't be good.
Sunset Shimmer came from running from one part of the basement and slid to a stop before her. She had an odd smile on her face and she was panting slightly. The princess held her mouth agape as she looked about the partly tired student.
"What have you been up to?" Celestia asked suspiciously.
"Just anything you want me to," was the response. "I came here to study and practice on my techniques. You may smell some things burning, that's because I brought some straw dummies down here. It was only after I burned them that I remembered this place lacked a....a place for the smoke to go."
"This is very odd of you. Not the burning part, but you're smiling."
She cheerfully replied. "I've just decided to start being your student. You know, start taking this stuff seriously."
"Do you want something?" Celestia's tone was still slightly accusing.
"No..."
"Sunset, I was not born yesterday. You want something and you want it badly enough to try and trick me here and now. A pony does not change so quickly in one night. Even after I offered you my bed, the morning after you went on a rant about how I mistreated you. Now you are here, acting as a completely different pony and you expect me to buy your act?"
"Oh come on, I mean it this time. I was just mad on that day, that's all. I mean, you gave me this place and I love it. Your niece is nice and we talked and-"
"That's not what she said to me. From Cadance, it sounded like you simply wanted her to leave."
"Well, I had to study and-"
"She also said you acted strangely after she mentioned how she became an alicorn."
"Just a coinciden-"
"Sunset, you may be a good thief, but you are a poor liar. Well, you may trick somepony with your sudden change of attitude, but I am not one of them. After a thousand years of ruling, I know very well when I am being lied to."
The student only answered with a disapproving frown. Her brows were angrily furrowed and her legs trembled with hate. She first looked Celestia right in the eyes, but her stare dropped shamefully to the floor. A muttered curse let her throat and she uttered nothing more.
"What made you do this?" Celestia asked and placed a hoof on the student's shoulder.
"I don't know, win your favor? Somethin' like that," she spat.
"Sunset, what I'm looking for in you is not you acting like somepony you're not."
"That's not what ya told me at the school."
"That's because it was necessary for you to behave better to be enrolled. With me, I know you. I can tell when you are acting out of character to gain something. Now, if you do want to change, then go for it. Ignore what I say here. By studying and trying to be better, you will become better. I don't make you study so much because I want you to learn knowledge, but because it keeps you from doing other things, like hurting or stealing. Of course, any pupil of mine shall excel at magic. You already do though, so I won't stress that much during your time here. I am preparing you for a lot."
Sunset kept her gaze away from the princess. "Will you make me into an alicorn?"
"Here comes the truth," Celestia chuckled to herself. "Ah, my dear, I will not simply grant you alicornhood. Cadance was an exception for many reasons, one of them being her purity of heart. It was clear she was destined for something magnificent. She may be pink and full of sunshine, but she is as tough and determined as ponies come. I have no basis to give you wings or power. You will have to earn that."
Hopefully she takes this well. Hm, why would she wish for something so specific and so suddenly? Upon hearing her own last words, Celestia started to regret the straightforwardness. Her eyes looked upon the frowning student dotingly, but it was clear that Sunset was not feeling any mutual sympathy.
"I...I see," she stammered. "I'll take your word for it. I can't be trusted, woop-de-doo!"
"Sunset, don't take it personally. If you really do care about earning such responsibility, I may consider it if you truly excel and even surprise me. I will not promise you anything, but I can offer you my time and effort to help you."
"Yeah...sure," she uttered.
Finally. "Then shall we begin?"
"Now, not all magic you shall learn will be combat-based. I simply like starting with it because I know you'll be interested. So, the first magic lessons shall be on pyromnacy."
"But I know everything about that. C'mon, Celly, I'm pretty good with fire."
"No, you're good at burning things. There is a difference."
Celesia's horn glowed and a flame sprouted from the air. Sunset looked at the tranquil flame with mild interest. The fire was a thing orange with wisps of red and yellow. It danced in the air for a little bit before suddenly growing. Celestia's magic manipulated the flame so that it started to swirl about the air like a snake that could fly with ease. It whirled and flew about the Cave. It would even maneuver between Celestia's legs as if it was alive. After doing its tricks, it "sat" on the ground between both of them, seemingly looking at Sunset with flame-made eyes.
"The manipulation of fire requires more than emotion," Celestia explained. "It requires a sort of connection with the flames. You see, Sunset, I remember you stating that you knew how burns felt because you are a pyromancer, well that's because you allow the fire to burn you due to your carelessness. Handling fire is a risky business and absolutely needs your utmost attention, not your pure feelings."
Sunset looked unconvinced. "How do you know so much about fire?"
"How do you think I move the sun?" Celestia asked back.
"Oh..."
"Now Sunset, pyromancy is not simply about attacking or burning up every object you come across, it's about focusing both your mind and emotions on a single task that requires a tremendous amount of mental energy. As you probably know, teleporting is a precise calculation in your head and if you mess up the calculation, you'll end up in a different location."
"You know Celly, if I didn't know this stuff, I wouldn't have been able to cast spells that I do. I know all this already."
"Really? Then create a raw flame and make it dance between your legs without burning any hair in your fur coat," Celestia deadpanned.
"Fine!"
Sunset's magic flared and a flame much like Celestia's appeared. She also made it swirl through the air and likewise made it act like a sort of snake. However, when it met her legs, a fierce yelp flew from her mouth as the flame singed her pale fur, making her jump in the air. Upon receiving the pain, the flame faded away into the air while Celestia's fire still remained "sitting" in its spot.
That's what I thought. "Fire doesn't like you, it seems."
"Why should I care? Fire is something not alive. It's combustion!" Sunset growled as she looked upon her burned leg.
"It's not about the fire itself, it's about you," Celestia summoned a bottle of burn ointment and gave it to her student who promptly took it and applied it to her wound with a muttered curse.
"Now ya speaking nonsense, Celly," Sunset said.
Celestia patiently continued. "It's a hard subject to explain, even if you read it in a book. This is most likely the main reason they denied you from entering my school. If you can't control your mind and your thoughts, you can't control the fire. Magically controlling a flame with hateful thoughts and raw emotion is the same as pouring a flammable liquid upon a bonfire. It will become a more intense fire. My flame can be sustained peacefully there because I only feed it peaceful and calm thoughts. Yes, I could run it on malevolent feelings, but then it would not stay put where I placed it. Instead, it would try to spread its destructive nature to anything and everything. Pyromancy reveals a lot about the pony who wields it. With how you control fire in such a damaging manner, I can tell that your mean thoughts are sincere."
"So what, you're telling me to stop being...angry?" Sunset asked in disappointment.
"That's precisely what I'm telling you, the princess chuckled in mild amusement. "That's another reason I gave you the Cave, so that you can meditate and expend your anger out on me so that when you leave here, your magic will not go awry."
"I guess... I mean, how are ya gonna get me to be less angry? I don't think you can just shake me up and poof! it all goes away," Sunset shrugged.
"But with good friends and companions, it can be done," Celestia noted. "You've already taken the first step by not totally disregarding my proposals. I think another good step will be to learn how to contain yourself from a violent outburst. Best way to train that is to do some more pyromancy. So please, create another flame."
Sunset sighed and her magic made another floating flame. She held it there without much interest and awaited further orders from the princess.
"Ahem, how are you doing, Sunset?" Celestia asked motherly.
"Huh? What kind of question is that?" the student responded.
"Keep the flame going. Ahem, how was your morning?"
"Good I guess..."
"I'm glad."
"What's the point of this?" the student frowned, making the flame glow brighter.
Do not be impatient with her. "Stay calm, please. This is an exercise. Let us have a quiet conversation and sustain our flames."
"Oh..." Sunset nodded. "I'm not suppose to get angry or sour am I?"
"Nope," Celestia shook her head slowly.
"Well then, I guess my day's been going swell. I did get to snatch some muffins from the kitchen, right under the chef's snout," Sunset boasted.
"Good to see you're still using your talents," Celestia giggled. "Oh, did you hear what Raven did?"
"Your secretary? Nah, nothing."
"Well, I told her to accept of reject a whole bunch of petitions. I mean, I could have done it myself, but I didn't. Well, anyway, she accepted some of the most bizarre of petitions. We have fourteen new holidays to celebrate, including 'Drunk Day' and 'Hearth's Warming Eve Eve Eve Eve's Eve.' Not only that, but now sodas are banned in some cities. The things ponies would demand of me are hilarious."
"Drunk Day?" Sunset chuckled. "I'll participate."
"You're underaged."
"Well, you can change the law for one night, can't you Princess of Equestria?"
"Hehe, I could, but that would be awful. Imagine a whole bunch of drunk teenagers..."
"Sounds like every Friday night."
"Huh?" Celestia raised a brow, making her flame jerk to the left, which reminded her of their exercise. She decided to change the subject. "Did you know that I used to be the biggest party mare in Equestria? When I had been established as Equestria's ruler, I did not take it as seriously as I should have. Well, I was still mature and all, but the power that had been bestowed on me was so sudden and intoxicating that I went along with the feasts and banquets. You may not know this, but ponies back then were absolutely insane when they partied. It's only now that the noble ponies come to make such mundane parties like the Grand Galloping Gala."
"Sounds like fun," Sunset nodded. "It's hard to imagine you getting down on the dance floor."
"I was never a great dancer," Celestia laughed.
"Not with those four left hooves," Sunset remarked mockingly.
"Have you ever gone dancing?"
Sunset hesitated at the question, making her flame move about. "I uhh...not really. I've never been anywhere formal, if that's what you're asking."
"But you've gone to parties, right?"
"I was never invited to them, but yeah. I've been in clubs and stuff, but I've only gone there to steal something or another. This one club owner had beaten up this kid for some reason and that kid wanted me to make him pay up. So I stole his bits and gave them to the kid."
"Ponies come to you for aid?"
"Only some," she said, making the flame move more and more to each side. "When I say that I'm good at stealing, I mean it. Any magic vault, safe, or fortress I can break in."
"It is remarkable. I believe you since you got into my magic vault twice. You're still a young mare; who in Equestria taught you how to be such a skilled burglar?"
Sunset's flame faded a little and she lowered her eyes. "A pegasus stallion named Wing Beat."
"Interesting. May I meet this fellow?"
"Pshaw! Heck no! He's not the kinda guy to keep tabs on. It's been like a year since I last saw him."
"Do you know anything about him?" Celestia said calmly.
"Nothing really. He's a Royal Guard vet. I think he served in Cloudsdale. That's all I know really," she uttered as her flame continued to dwindle.
"And yet he taught you such skills?" Celestia probed. "Was there a reason for him teaching you?"
With that last question, the flame died out completely, indicating that Sunset lost focus and gave in to some driving nervousness. The student gulped and continued to look down at the floor. This made the princess sigh and her fire was snuffed out as well.
"You do not need to answer that until you are ready. The last thing I should do is to pry information from you. However, I will advise that it may help you if you reveal it all to me. It will help us both go forward."
"Some other time," Sunset barely muttered.
"Do you want to continue?"
"Naw, I'll stay down here. You can go do princess-y things," she told the ruler.
"See you later then," Celestia smiled and turned to leave.
The princess walked through the entrance and shut the large door behind her. She could hear Sunset speak to herself on the other side, but did not try to listen in. Instead, she summoned a notepad and a pencil along with it. Wing Beat, eh? That is certainly a name I must remember. If he was a Royal Guard, there must be documents on him and his time in the military. What do they say today? I should "dig" up some information. With a smile, she wrote the name down and dismissed the writing materials in a flash.
"Luna, dear sister, I would say today is successful. I've learned more about this mysterious pony. I hope you're watching, because I shall not make the same mistakes that I did with you."
If it weren't for the fact that this was before Sonic Rainboom, took place, I would have thought this petition came from Pinkie.
So it's most likely a foal who wants longer holidays to get out of school.
You have my deepest regards. My personal computer has been sick since early last year! I am now fully on a tablet and it works well but I miss my laptop.
Now onto the chapter. I get the feeling that Sunset is in for a major letdown soon. So hopefully we can get who hired her to break into the vault. I am enjoying the interactions between Sunset and Celestia but it makes me sad to know that it ends in a bit of tragedy.
7135454 Could be a bunch of college students that want Christmas/Hearth's Warming to all year long. I'd sign that petition.
7135480 Being on a tablet only just sucks.
Yes, enjoy it while it lasts because it won't last.
>makes same mistakes she did with luna
>rekt
7135628 she just can't get it right, can she?
7135519 Either way, holidays means no school day so there's that. Makes me wonder if it was a drunk student who submitted that petition...
...hmm...Nice to see Celestia isn't stupid and quickly tells Sunset she isn't fooling her. Wonder what kind of backstory Sunset has here...or maybe she's lying again...
No you will just make all new ones.
7135339 planning a sequel for after equestria girls or not? just curious.
I hope your computer get better soon.
Walked right into that one, Celestia ...
Okay, I'm quite surprised that Sunset didn't realize how suspicious her behavior was. That change would be jarring even for those who are quite oblivious
At least Celestia nipped it at the bud.
So more things got revealed. Good job Tia, you're getting better. Let's see where another turning point will be.
7136187 Not really. I don't know what that story will be since we kinda already know what happened when Sunset entered. Besides, that would mean Flash Sentry as well......and I'm not ready for that.
7137116 Sorry, ya comment reminded me of this:
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b9/f6/00/b9f60042db201a097d566336776639e1.jpg
Butt, yes, they are both sunbutts, no? Where's Sunburst when ya need him?
7136575 eh that's fine with me
7135722
its true... sad but true
7137666
7144248 I have a terrible habit of writing Susnet over Sunset. It's about every single time. My coordination is terrible!
Nothing better than small talk and playing with fire.
Celestia, of course she will not tell you now. Every RPG would teach you that followers don't reveal all of their backstories at once.
7153027 Unless it is some NPC in Skyrim. They just can't shut up about themselves.
Capitulo malo
Le typos appear. I think you know how that one should be spelled.
Combat-based? What is this, a video game tutorial? In any case why must pyromancy be an offensive art? Is fire magic (a.k.a pyromancy) only used, historically or in the present, as a weapon in the context of your version of Equestria?
Magic Vault? Is that what she calls it? Also I think people usually use phrases like "Who in Equestria ... ?" or "Who on Earth would ... ?" when asking a rhetorical question so it feels a little out of place here.
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I have to say that your writing could use a fair bit of work overall. In addition, Sunset seems a little unrefined as a character (is she a "street rat" or an over-educated member of the lower classes?) while Celestia almost feels like the author/narrator's mouth rather than a genuine character and comes across as a bit flat, overly wordy, and poorly characterized. She speaks awkwardly and seems to fluctuate between a composed, wise elder, a pony inexperienced in relationships, and a downright idiot.
Here are a few examples of what I mean:
The first two sentences feel like internal monologue/thoughts that for some bizarre reason are being spoken aloud and the third one is janky in the way that Celestia states the obvious and implies in an unsubtle manner that they might make more progress in their relationship/sunset's ability to control fire if they can work through her past a little bit. It just reads awkwardly.
I would recommend placing the italicized text, which I assume are Celestia's thoughts spelled out for the reader, on it's own line to keep it distinct from her actions/feeling which follow it or prior speaking. Also you are describing Celestia's feelings and actions in the third person right after "vocalizing" her thoughts in first person which flows rather poorly in my opinion.
I would consider the above modified phrasing an improvement, but I'm sure it could be better too. One particular change to note is that what you wrote sort of personifies her eyes despite 'looking' being a conscious brain related action.
Why does Sunset slip back and forth between informal and snarky and more eloquent speech?
Tangentially, is there a reason for that pause (ellipsis) there? Does it make sense for Sunset to really stop speaking for a bit there?
P.S.
Does Celestia really just grant 'alicorn-hood' whenever she feels like it? That sounds awfully arbitrary to me... Surely there must be more than three of them if she's had near on 1000 years since Luna was banished. Do all alicorns have that ability and are the rest also immortal or just her? If she knows Cadence is the right fit couldn't she have waited a while to make her an alicorn, were there other reasons? I thought show Cadence was born that way, so do you have an objective in diverging?
So can anyone move the sun if they are sufficiently controlled in their use of Pyromancy? If so, why is the presumably calm, controlled, skilled Celestia so easy to shake?
8451566
Never thought someone could put so much junk in a comment on a finished story years old.
Yet here you are.
I'm a practically dead writer on this site. And my writing style has changed (and thankfully improved) a lot since this experiment ( I actually wrote this long before its publish date). You're comment is just like tons of others I've read, only this time, you have a post script and use the word "tangentially."
I tell you this just as a head's up. I'm not going to listen to stuff cause I really don't care and have much more important things to do than mess with a pony fanfiction I wrote some long time ago.
I know this story is far from perfect. In fact, I never had that much fun writing it in the first place. I did try very hard though. I had an audience size I was not used to and I wrote at a good pace. Yes, these are excuses, but there are still inexcusable mistakes in this tale. I know them. Don't worry, you won't find any that I have not been told. However, lots of people liked this story and found it acceptable. I worked hard and people read it and well, I wouldn't ask for more.
So read on if you want. Just know that you won't have much influence on me as you're basically talking to a writer that is in the past.