Cant wait for the next chapter, and man the entire tine I was reading this I felt ashamed of myself for having an erection.

732519
You make it sound like a bad thing :P
Also, glad you enjoyed it. Took me a good two and a half weeks total to write it. I'm a good writer, I'm just SLOW

Um... I don't know how to put this but... this is actually really interesting, lol. I feel horrible for enjoying this so much. CURSE YOU!

Don't keep us waiting so long for the next update... I wanna know where this ends up!

732542 heh its not a bad thing it just feels weird getting a Bonner to ponies, but for some reason I'm starting to care less.

I like how he is now questioning the situation. It aims to good plot and character development (for a clopfic, heh).

734034
Thanks, I appreciate it.
A story CAN have adult content in it and still have an engaging plot with strong characters (he IS human after all). I'm glad people still look for quality in places they don't expect

.....
Hawt.
...Shut up boner...
Nope.

I sense the mares in heat coming up soon...! :3

*looks down* Shut up boner

No

>mfw new chapter
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4051-Sequence_02_3.gif

Anyways, this was absolutely fan-fuckin'-tastic.
Eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
Which, doesn't have to, you know, be twice as long as the last chapter.
If that's, um, okay with you and everything.
don't hurt me.

736140
Heh, trust me, I'll try not to write so much next time. You never know what'll happen though :P

The ultimate wish fulfillment fanfic that has ever existed! {picks up a rolled up newspaper} Bad fanfic writer, bad! There's absolutely no proper development and pacing at all!

This is like waifu-fagotry multiplied to the umpteenth degree, and it's another typical HiE story that's been done a million times before. Yawn.

734343 Read Xenophillia. That's how you do character development for a human, not this... whatever it is.

739869
I hate to disagree, man, but there IS indeed development and pacing. The point of the first day was that it was rushed and overwhelming, cue the response from the lead character of running away when he fully realizes what he did.
Plus, I don't think it's fair to blame a concept for being the downfall of a story, especially if it's well-executed.
I mean, I'm all for fair criticism, but I don't think this story is for you. Feel free to move along

739931 Yeah, Rarity yelling out how much she loves the human on his first day, Twilight giving a blow job while he's sleeping, the princesses are humbled by a human, said human is clueless and needs to be introduced to the ponies we already know; he's living with Twilight; this is a paint by numbers human in Equestria story; this is cliche as cliche get's. Your concept isn't well executed, and you seem to have delusions of grandeur. Even if it's supposed to feel rushed on purpose, that's never a good thing. Ever.

I mean, I'm all for fair criticism, but I don't think this story is for you. Feel free to move along

Yeah, I don't like bad fanfics, so I should just mossy along.

The only way this makes any sense is that they're all changelings (they act like cardboard cut outs anyway, so they might as well be changelings), and they're just feeding on him, and he's really in a cave, stuck inside a cocoon or something.

And the lead suddenly turning Sasuke at the end? That should have been what he did at the beginning, but let's crap all over the characters to make way for clop.

I know that this being a HiE story that it takes place outside of the canon, but this definitely needs a AU tag.

Indeed it does, my apologies for not fully setting up the impression of what to expect when reading this.
I'll remain positive though, I get better with criticism than I do without it, so I can thank you for your time, at least.

740022 Fair enough, but I shouldn't be completely negative, so I'll say something nice about the fanfic so you know there's no hard feeling at all:

The lead seems like a decent person, even if he yields and yells a bit to much, his interaction with some of the ponies was cute, and the fic did make me chuckle a few times. You have good skill, but even with over 20,000 words it's a little fast paced. Maybe if this was happening over several months and the ponies actually have taken a liking to him over some time, it would seem a little more believable. I'll even be okay with polygamy if it was paced better.

Anyway, have a Pinkie for the effort:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5ix13flJ21qkegu7o1_500.gif

740076
Heh, thanks. And yeah, of course, no hard feelings. That kind of criticism I really like because it all applies and is perfectly sound reasoning for why this story has its cons. I'm aware of them, but it comes with the territory and how it's written. It's entirely possible that it can be written better if written by someone with FAR more skill and better planning than I.
For now though, it's just another idea I wanted to get out of my head and make sure that it's at least DECENT. There are much worse fanfics out there, and you know just as well as I how bad they are. Especially trollfics, yeesh.
Also, I'm aware of the silly moments too, I believe that this story is more for casual observers of clop than it is people who take it too seriously and people who are looking EXCLUSIVELY for clop. I just wanted a middle ground where I could still tell a story, ya know?

But in any case, much appreciated NaturalGlitch, and thank you for the Pinkie Pie

Like a story with bits and bobs. Good work line. Adds more to the entertainment value as well as more excitement for waiting for the next chapter!
threadbombing.com/data/media/22/Chuck_Norris_Approves.gif

Boners and pony's...it's a good combination for a clopfic. of course its nice to finally see somepony speaking their mind to the princess. I know when I first started to read this i was like then I was like then I went to cause now i have to wait for the next chapter. However I believe this desirves 5 mustashes

i.imgur.com/ob0UY.gif

Not bad but not really amazing either. Kinda bland and boring, very wish-fufillment feeling I get here.

aww shit! I just love it. Sir, you're awesome, bravo! Can't wait the next chapter.

“Oh! Uhm, let’s see…She has an orange coat, and this cool determined look when she has a lot of work to do, aaaand she’s got a really thick country-type accent ‘cause she works on a farm
I see what you did there

wait, the element of laughter? I thought it was the element of Joy, DAMIT hasbro, Y U SO confusin

ooooooh yeah Applejack had a ponytail that is honestly the first time i've ever gotten that subtle joke. I clap to you Ms. Faust for not making that joke absolutely obvious,

732542
you know what really makes us ashamed, looking at your account picture after reading it

Twilight Sparkle, student, librarian, mage and woodworker.

Oh mah CeLunia, this is probably one of the best mature fics I've read so far

A fun filled romp through the town was indeed! Really like the part with Pinkie and I have to give you props for making her sexual, I'm sure it wasn't an easy feat. I loved the part with Rarity but like I said to you before, I really felt like you shoe horned in the part with him running out. I do like the thing going on between him and Derpy, it's very adorable.

Why... WHY MUST YOU TEMPT ME, SO!

Seriously... Awesome chapter, I'm reading more now...

1220365
Ah, well, thank you!

Let me know if you enjoy the later ones, since this one was worthy enough to keep you interested

Why is he even wearing clothes? If I was there, and I wish I was, I would be naked with an erection the whole time

It’s like chewing bubble gum while swimming in a pool of cookie dough and the sky is raining chocolate. There’s just no comparison to how sweet being engulfed in her sugary embrace is.

Best freakin way to describe her!

Time to cite the rules of the internet, hmmm... Aha!
1st - Rule 19 - The more you hate it, the stronger it gets. - Celestia/Luna
2nd - Rule 43 - The more beautiful and pure a thing is, the more satisfying it is to corrupt it. - Rarity
3rd - Rule 53 - It's a delicious trap. You must hit it. - You are now attracted to ponies.
4th - Rule 63.2 - For every female character there is a male version. - Watch out for them coltcuddlers.
5th - Rule 72 - Darth Vader is your father. No exceptions. - This is now canon.
6th - Rule 122 - There is NO god here (Except Chuck Norris).
Rule 122.2 - Celestia is greater than Chuck Norris.
Rule 122.3 - Luna is greater than Celestia. - Celestia is a bitch. No exceptions.
7th - Rule 131 - Whatever it is, pie is involved in some form. No exceptions. - Make it happen.
8th - Rule 134 - If it talks, you must shut it up. - Seriously Pinkie. If you can hear this, shut the hell up, and do as they say. This doesn't mean your not best pony anymore in any way shape or form.
9th - Rule 161 - The guy next to you in the library is always looking at what you are saying.
Rule 162 - The girl next to you in the library couldn't give a shit. - Fuck the 4th rule I stated... mildly.
10th - Rule 669 - Super orgy. - You all know it's coming.
11th - Rule 1069 - SOS HELP ME I AM DROWNING IN MY OWN CUM. - You all know it's what you're thinking about what's happening... 69~

Rarity...Me Gusta!

And now, a twiluna threesome.

WHY DIDN'T MARCUS STOP TWILIGHT!!!!!!