nice picture of Spider Gwen. i'm now intrigued by this story. if you cant tell i am a marvel fan.

Between the pedestrian constructions and the grammar errors in the long description and the first paragraph of this story, I just can't read it. I'm getting thrown into Hoof of Argon style phonetic progression with no ability to follow content. That's not a state you want your readers to be in.

My advice would be to make sure you're taking editing passes on your work before publishing, or possibly to look for a pre-reader on this site who can help you out. As it is, I'm being asked to put in far too much effort myself. I shouldn't have to fix your prose in my head just to follow your story.

It's a good start for a Marvel fic, just needs some proofreading.

I like it, good start and can't wait to see what else you got up your sleeves

-twists invisible mustache- what a twist!