• Member Since 8th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 7th, 2015

MetaLucario


The slightly insane brony out to just have fun and hope to get a little praise along the way. Nice to meet you!

Comments ( 28 )

Huh, Spider Gwen?

nice picture of Spider Gwen. i'm now intrigued by this story. if you cant tell i am a marvel fan.

Between the pedestrian constructions and the grammar errors in the long description and the first paragraph of this story, I just can't read it. I'm getting thrown into Hoof of Argon style phonetic progression with no ability to follow content. That's not a state you want your readers to be in.

My advice would be to make sure you're taking editing passes on your work before publishing, or possibly to look for a pre-reader on this site who can help you out. As it is, I'm being asked to put in far too much effort myself. I shouldn't have to fix your prose in my head just to follow your story.

Good story, I think it has potential. You might want to slow the pacing a bit.

Is she 'merican'

Sounds interesting, nice idea, but saying it again mate, you just had some energy legs, and Mother Nature is telling you to slow down, so just try and fix up your Pacing

:twilightsmile:Well, I like this story so far lets see ware this...
(reads kiss seine)
:rainbowderp:...
img.chan4chan.com/img/2009-10-18/1255878607012.png

Comment posted by golden dawn deleted Aug 14th, 2015

6317575 thank you for your feed back, I'll be sure to take this and redo the story in a more fluent way, ya know, if i can. Obviously i still have a lot of problems as a writer as you can see. Seriously, thanks.

It's a good start for a Marvel fic, just needs some proofreading.

To fast.

I like it, good start and can't wait to see what else you got up your sleeves

Need more please, I want to see how well it goes between her and RD

I like it:pinkiehappy:

A little fast paced:applejackunsure: But I can't blame ya' I also go a bit fast sometimes :twilightsheepish:

Live for the Swarm.

...oh, sorry, wrong Kerrigan. Nevermind.

decent but like others have said way way too fast

I came for the spooder I stay for the possible snu-snu.

I suddenly want to crossover...

-twists invisible mustache- what a twist!

Question: Update?

6317924
I really like this story alot please upload more chapters soon and keep me posted on the update on the story

Would've been nice to see this story continue

Good more

“So, for my first question I’d like to ask you, and this has nothing to do with what happened earlier, but, are you gay?” Oh this is going to be a long and very interesting next few minutes.

WTF.

Comment posted by MatTheBook deleted Nov 15th, 2023
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