Daring Do and the Goggles of Shipping

by CoffeeMinion

Shipping Goggles

No sooner had Daring Do slipped the goggles into her saddlebag than she heard the sound of hooves scraping on the dry, stony ground behind her. She gritted her teeth and bent her legs in preparation for being jumped. The only questions on her mind were which adversary had tracked her movements this time, and how many henchponies had they brought?

"Good afternoon, Ms. Do," a smooth, familiar voice said from somewhere behind her.

Daring Do grinned as she turned to face him. "Why, Dr. Caballeron, did you put on a clean shirt just for me? If you wanted to get close you should've shaved that stubble, too."

He laughed, tossing his black and gray-streaked mane. "Ms. Do, I fear that now might not be..."

The henchponies must have been cued to drop on the word "now." Daring Do felt a heavy blow hit her between her shoulders, and had only a moment to curse herself for letting the cue pass unnoticed before she was pulled to the ground. Strong hooves wrapped around her legs and forced her face into the rough, dirty floor. She began to feel the telltale burn of ropes being secured around her hind legs.

She gritted her teeth and fought to suck in a deep breath. "You bucking thief!"

"My apologies for having the boys drop in like this, Ms. Do, but I was under the correct impression that your trademark hat might obscure your upward view. And time was of the essence with this job. Gentlecolts, if you please?"

She squirmed as a rough hoof pressed her saddlebag against her flank. After a few moments of rummaging, the pressure lessened. "Here, boss!"

Daring Do managed to grind her head to one side despite the harsh force pressing her face and shoulder into the dirt. She snarled as Caballeron took the goggles from the outstretched hoof of a light-colored henchpony.

Caballeron looked around at the others. "Now then, if she is secure, please back away from her immediately. If my calculations are correct, we ought to be expecting company in three, two..."

---

A sudden burst of light heralded Discord’s arrival in the cave. He struck a wide-armed pose, rustling the flowing robe of red and matching cap that he’d selected. Making a concerted effort not to be distracted by the sight of a tied-up orange mare in a tan shirt on the ground before him, he threw his head back and began to shout, “Nopony expects the—”

“...one.”

Discord snarled with annoyance at having his entrance ruined. He turned to see a black-maned stallion with too much stubble lower a pair of weathered, bronze-rimmed goggles down over his eyes. Discord opened his mouth, put-downs at the ready.

But then he recognized the goggles.

His fingers twitched and sparked as he tried to think of what he could summon to fend them off. The boundless possibilities of Chaos all collided in his head, fueling his desperation to find just the right thing that would balance effectiveness with absurdity.

A bow-wave of magical force projected outward from the goggles as they settled into place over the stallion's eyes. Discord turned, shielding his face, and happened to glance down at the mare again.

A moment passed as they stared at each other with slack-jawed expressions. Neither of them blinked. They began to study each other's bodies with hungry eyes.

Daring Do was the first to smile, though her grin was more seductive than friendly. "Well hello, long-tall-and-serpentine. Do forgive me if I don't extend more of a welcome; I'm just a bit... tied up at the moment."

Discord touched his paw to his head and blinked a few times, battling dizziness. But then it cleared. He grinned and snapped his claw, causing his outfit to be replaced by a pair of white silk boxers that were covered in a pattern of red hearts. "Forgive you, dear? Why, that would mean you've done something you shouldn't."

Her giggle was anything but innocent. "Oh, don't tempt me; I would love to. But again, you see..." She shrugged as best she could under the circumstances.

Caballeron raised the goggles and threw his head back in a triumphant burst of laughter. “Daring Do, let it not be said that I am unkind. For though I steal your prize, I leave you with a heart you have long coveted. Come, gentlecolts! Let us go before our presence becomes burdensome to the happy couple!"

"Ta-ta," Daring Do called after Caballeron and his henchponies. She turned a predatory grin on Discord. "You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you this way"

Discord extended a claw toward her, but hesitated. "Wait a minute... something isn't right here."

She cooed and squirmed against her bonds. "I know, it's just so wrong..."

Discord's cranium made a tinny rattling sound as he gave it a vigorous shake. "No, I mean... this isn't... I don't even know you!"

"Oh, but I know all about you," she purred. “Your artifacts, your conquests…”

"Oh, I love it when you..." He hesitated again. "No, this... is a spell. Chaos magic. That stallion... the goggles..."

Daring Do moaned. "Be kind, lover! I’ve already waited my whole life to be with you."

"Kindness," Discord whispered. "Fluttershy..." His eyes went wide, and he stood, clutching his head in pain. "I can’t fight the spell… the goggles are tied into my source of magic…” His eyes glazed, and he leaned back down to her, running a claw through her mane. Then just as quickly, he recoiled, shaking out his claw as if it had been burned. "Gah! There's no way to break the spell, short of..."

"Giving in?"

Discord looked down at her. His heart burned with a mixture of desire and revulsion. He reached his paw and claw toward her, and she stretched her head out to accept them… but then he slapped himself, and thought of Fluttershy, and grimaced as the spell began to take hold once again…

“Only… way… out…” he said through gritted teeth.

“Out? Oh, lover, why would you want out?”

“Fluttershy....”

Daring Do laughed. “Rainbow Dash’s friend? How ‘bout we make a deal… you give me what we both want now, and I’d be down with asking her to join us next time.”

Discord’s eyes went wide as he felt himself beginning to lose the war inside his head. The mare before him was so ready and so willing... it was nothing like the careful dance he had to do with Fluttershy.

The spell gripped him again. Visions of a life of bliss with the mare of his dreams surged through his mind. He brought his paw and claw up to his head as he realized that the mare of his dreams now wasn’t the same as before he’d been summoned to the cave.

But he wanted those old dreams back. He wanted them badly enough to do the unthinkable.

With his mind’s eye, he glimpsed the shifting, invisible, yet somehow multicolored cord connecting him to the primal force of Chaos. "I'm so sorry," he bellowed, as much for his own sake as anypony’s.

He severed the cord.

His body flailed as he was wracked by a pain that felt like claws digging into his intestines. Red light streamed from his mouth and eyes, piercing the cave’s gloom and casting crazy, dancing shadows all around.

It lasted only a moment. Discord soon collapsed to the cool floor and lay panting. His body dripped with sweat. After a few seconds of silence, he heard a scraping sound off to his side. He looked up from the ground to see Daring Do trying to get her head far enough around to bite at her ropes.

She noticed he was looking at her. "Well? Are you just going to lie there in a heap, or are you going to give me a hoof here?"

Discord wobbled as he struggled to rise. He’d grown accustomed to drawing subtle amounts of power to help keep his body upright, and he felt much heavier without it. After a few tentative steps he collapsed again, breathing heavily.

Daring Do stopped chewing on the rope. “What’s wrong? What did you do just now?”

Discord lay in silence for a moment. “I severed my connection with Chaos.”

She frowned. “What does that even mean?”

Discord reached a shaky claw toward her bonds. “I don’t know. It was the only way to break the goggles’ spell. But...” He sliced the rope, and Daring Do began stretching out and massaging her bruised legs. “I guess… I might have to ask the princesses for help with this one.”

Daring Do’s face hardened. “You make it sound so bad to not have everything under your control. How do you think I feel right now?!”

Discord paused. “What was Dr. Stubble-Pants back there saying about ‘a heart you have long coveted?’”

She bristled. “Oh, buck no. We are not going there.”

He pointed his paw at her. “I’m no doctor, but I know a raw nerve when I hit one.”

Daring Do tightened her jaw. “Look, all right, you caught me. I’m... a fan. I always have been.”

Discord furrowed his brow. “Really?”

She sighed. “Not that it matters right now. I have to stop Caballeron!”

He nodded. “I didn’t know that anypony would enjoy dwelling on my past.”

Daring Do shrugged. “I always liked your thing about ‘doing whatever you want, whenever you want.’ Not everypony in my life has been crazy about me leaving for months at a time to go on these adventures. But you inspired me to go after what I love, no matter what anypony thinks.”

Discord looked away. “It can be a lonely road, doing whatever you want.”

Daring Do reached a hoof toward him, hesitated, then set it back down. “I did meet Fluttershy, once. Very pretty. She’s… a lucky mare.”

Discord's eyes widened. "I was only supposed to be gone for a few minutes."

Daring Do cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”

His heart pounded. “At my house. I left her waiting.”

“So what? She’s safe, right?”

Discord clutched at her. “You don’t understand; my home dimension is a realm of madness. You’ve got to help me find a way back!”

Daring Do batted Discord’s claws aside. “Look, there’s a village with a telegraph office and a train station about half a day’s journey north of here…”

“Half a day?!”

Daring Do frowned. “Listen, I’m sorry. We’ll get you back to her, but right now we have bigger problems.”

Discord shook his head. “There’s nothing more important to me.”

“Then come with me, and I’ll help you after we get the goggles back. If we leave now, we can probably catch Caballeron before his trail gets cold.”

Discord nodded, then gave her a coy smile. “You just like having me around, don’t you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Come on, loverboy,” she said, setting off toward the entrance.

Comments

[taterforlife]

Shoot! Now I'm really worried that he'll never have his powers again! Loved this!

[Toonsgirl]

Poor Disord had to give up his powers. Will he get his powers back?

[Carnation83]

Discord knowing that Monty Python bit is PERFECT!

[Coco Candy]

Oh my... will he get his powers back?!
Love it!