Chapter 5 - I am NOT Walking Around in the Buff. Nuts to That!
Chapter 5
I am NOT Walking Around in the Buff. Nuts to That!
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We reach the front of Twilight’s castle, Fluttershy knocking twice.
A few moments later, the door opens to reveal Spike.
The little drake seems very taken aback when he sees me, his eyes wide with shock.
“Wow. Twilight wasn’t joking. You really do kinda look like a human.”
Fluttershy nods and he leads us inside towards what I quickly figure out is the room where the Cutie Map is.
The closer we get, the more I can hear a trio of voices, all recognizable.
Spike opens the door to the room, revealing three Alicorn mares who’d clearly been in discussion about something, though they all fall silent the moment the door opens.
At once, I move closer to Fluttershy, using her wing to hide me better.
“This is the young being you spoke of, Twilight?” Princess Celestia’s voice says, sounding intrigued.
I find myself only able to make a small “eep” in response.
Suddenly, Fluttershy’s wing is covered in a blue magical aura and lifted out of my grasp, revealing me.
At once, I pull my arms to my chest and look away, though I’m forced to turn back as my head is gripped in the same glow and I’m made to meet the scrutinizing gaze of Princess Luna face to face.
There’s a very long, tense silence as I’m forced to meet her eyes with mine, it not at all escaping my attention that my eyes are Nightmare Moon’s eyes and just how badly this can go.
After what feels like an eternity, Luna finally lets her magical grip on me go and I scurry back behind Fluttershy’s wing, the Pegasus wrapping it around me in a comforting manor.
“Well, Luna?” Celestia’s voice asks. I can’t see anything with my face pressed against the yellow Pegasus’ feathers.
“I see nothing of Nightmare within her gaze,” the Lunar Princess’ voice says firmly. “If she were truly Nightmare having tried to fool Fluttershy or within the young filly, I would have seen a flicker. A movement within her pupils that Nightmare would’ve been unable to avoid. This Tailor is her own pony… if an unusual one.”
“True, her form is quite… unique,” Celestia says and I sees Fluttershy’s feathers part a little, revealing the white mare looking at me with a gentle smile. “Still, that is not a bad thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed,” I murmur quietly, burying myself deeper into Fluttershy’s feather and fur. “I’m just anxious and embarrassed.”
That causes a confused look, shared by Luna and Twilight.
“How so?” Spike’s voice asks from somewhere I can’t see.
At this, I actually feel a flare of annoyance and glare out through the feathers. “I come from a world where walking around naked isn’t appropriate unless you’re having a shower, getting dressed or home alone.”
There’s a pause as they continue to look confused. Slowly, very slowly, their expressions turn to understanding, shock and embarrassment.
“Oh, well, um,” Luna coughs, putting a hoof over her mouth. “We can… understand your dilemma then.”
“There’s… just one problem,” Twilight groans, facehoofing.
We all look to her.
“Rarity and Applejack are off in Manehatten and there’s no telling when they’ll be back.”
I blink, before facepalming. Oh, for fuck sake. Does fate just hate me and is screwing with me on purpose at this point?
“I… guess we’ll just remain inside for now then,” Fluttershy says reassuringly. “If Tailor doesn’t want to go out without clothes, I won’t force her.”
“Can’t she just make some herself?” We all turn to Spike, who points at me. “Well, since her name’s Tailor, wouldn’t she likely have a special talent for clothing?”
I blink, before remembering how Twilight had spelled my name on the letter and it finally clicks… and I find myself getting angrier than I actually think I need to be, but I’m too angry to really care.
“My name’s Taylor, not Tailor!” I shout, standing up straight, stepping away from Fluttershy, glaring, arms thrust down at my sides and wings flared.
“Huh?” the ponies and drake respond, glancing from one to the other.
I blink, before feeling my right eye twitch and rub my temples with my fingers. “T-A-Y-L-O-R. Not T-A-I-L-O-R.”
“That’s… not how it’s spelled,” Twilight shakes her head.
I grumble, shaking my head. “My name is spelled that way. Just because my name sounds like the word tailor it doesn’t mean my name is spelled that way. Plus, it doesn’t mean I’m going to have any skill with clothing. Heck, textiles was my least favourite subject in high school and made me so nervous about sewing my own fingers I only took it for one year.”
“Oh,” Twilight says, her expression blank. “I… huh.”
I give an exasperated sigh, putting a hand to my forehead. “Great. Just great. Now I’m gonna be walking around in my birthday suit all day. Possibly even all week, all because I had to arrive in Equestria while Rarity isn’t here.”
“Spike? What are you thinking about?”
At Celestia’s question, we all turn to see the Baby Dragon rubbing his chin in thought. “Well, there is one other person we could go to for clothes, if Taylor really needs them now.”
“Who?” Fluttershy asks, though I’m staring at Spike like he just solved the question of why life exists.
EQG Rarity! Of course! Plus, she’s more familiar with a humanoid body than this world’s Rarity. It’d be so much easier… if not for one small detail.
“I don’t have any money.” They all look to me and I frown, looking around at them. “Well, we can’t just ask that world’s Rarity to make me clothes for free!”
“Come again?” Luna asks, very confused.
“There’s a Rarity in the world behind the mirror Sunset Shimmer went through and she’s pretty much like this world’s Rarity, only a human and not owner of a fashion boutiques in two places,” I state.
Luna opens her mouth to answer, before closing it. “Hmm.”
“Well, it’s worth a try, isn’t it?” Twilight asks.
I sigh, folding my arms, before frowning in thought. “Wait. Maybe she won’t have to.”
“What do you mean?” Spike asks, cocking an eyebrow.
“Well, Twilight automatically gets clothes whenever she goes through the portal, right?” I rub my chin. “If I go through now… there’s a chance I’ll turn into a human and be wearing clothes.”
“But you’d lose them the moment you came back through,” Spike points out.
I blink, before facepalming. Crap. Forgot that detail. Unless…
“Lemme try something.”
Twilight gives me a curious look, before leading me out of the room and down the hall, Fluttershy, Spike and the other princesses following behind.
We go through a door and are in a library, where… Yes. The mirror’s here. Hurrying over, I place my hand on the surface and it passes right through.
I grin. Okay. This might actually work.
“Taylor what in Equestria are you—?” Twilight’s voice says from behind me, but is cut off as I jump through the portal.
The world spins around and around in a multitude of colours for several moments, before I find myself flung through the air.
My vision still blurry, I hold out my arms, slamming into something hard, wincing as I feel the bruising.
Without knowing why, I curl up, holding my throbbing arms. Youch, that hurt!
“That had to be one of the stupidest things I’ve seen!” Twilight’s voice scolds me.
I open my eyes to see her standing over me, Spike at her feet. Her arms are on her hips, her expression stern, before it turns to concern. “Are you alright? Did you get hurt?”
Finding it a little trickier than I think it should be, I make myself let go of my arms and move into a sitting position, glancing around.
We’re outside Canterlot High. No one else seems to be around. Is it the weekend?
Reality coming back to me, I look down at myself. My hands don’t look any different aside from the fact I can tell I don’t have fur anymore, but yellow skin. And I have feet again. Feet in white sandals.
I wiggle my toes excitedly, before my eyes widen and I become more focused on the rest of my clothes. I’m wearing white shorts and a shirt, the latter underneath a pink sleeveless Crewneck sweatshirt with white trimming and a white hoodie on the back.
I cock an eyebrow. “Not… what I was expecting, but… I guess I’m okay with this.”
Twilight sighs in frustration. “Fine. Can we go now? You know you’re not going to have them when we return to Equestria anyway.”
I glance up at her, smirking. “Only if I’m wearing them.”
She blinks, confused. “Huh?”
“No else is around and I’m a kid, so who gives a damn!” I laugh, yanking off my clothes as quickly as possible.
“Wh-what in the—?” Twilight cries as I’m pulling off my shorts and underwear til I’m as naked as before I went through the portal.
Grabbing all my clothes aside from the sandals, which I slip back on my feet, I bolt past her, yelling, “Catch me if ya can, Princess!”
I pass back through the portal, going through the same feelings as before, but keeping what my form will be in mind.
The moment I feel myself being flung, I focus, thrusting my wings outward.
I don’t fly, I know there’s no chance I’d be able to do that my first try, but my wings catch the air and I float down to the ground, clothing held in my arms.
“Taylor!” Fluttershy scolds, causing me to wilt a little. “Did you just go and steal those clothes? Wait. How could you? You couldn’t have unless they were waiting for you… I’m confused.”
“Don’t you dare pull a stunt like that again!” We all turn as Twilight steps out of the portal, looking angrily at me. “If you had such a problem with being nude, why did you willing do that?!”
“Huh?” the other three ponies look at each other, puzzled.
I smirk as I put the clothes on bit by bit. “Easy, Princess. I may be five physically, but I’m an adult in mind. As long as I remembered that, I wasn’t embarrassed during those few seconds I was streaking across the front of the schoolyard. Plus, no one was around anyway. And, even if they were, seeing a five year old streaking while an older person tries to stop them isn’t uncommon.”
“That was definitely a… creative way to get clothes,” Spike says, returning through the portal himself.
“Done!” I say, standing proud. I’m now wearing my Equestria Girls’ clothes, aside from the shirt and sweatshirt. Gonna need Rarity to modify those so my wings can go through the back, plus holes in my pants for my tail. Still, being so young, not wearing a shirt while wearing shorts isn’t odd, especially since my tail is sticking out the top since there’s no hole for it to stick out through. And, I have to say, it feels good. I clench my fists, looking down at them. “Man, that feels better. You ponies and dragons are free to do as you wish, but walking around bare butt naked just ain’t it for me.”
“I… but you… GAH!” Twilight yells, her eye twitching.
“So, now that I’m at least half dressed,” I grin sheepishly, glancing around, “can we go exploring? If I’m gonna be stuck here a while, I wanna see as much as I can.”
The ponies and dragon glance at each other in confusion, before Celestia frowns. “You do understand the situation, do you not, Taylor?”
I nod, folding my arms. “Trust me, princess, now that I’m not so anxious due to being butt naked, I have more awareness. I’m pretty sure the anxiety of being in this body and your world, combined with the fact my mind’s now in the brain of a physically five-year-old child combined with the knowledge I was butt naked, it was effecting my rationale. Now I’m at least wearing something, I should be able to think more clearly. Besides, you know I’m no threat and I have no intention of doing anything dangerous.”
“You don’t think jumping through a portal into another world without preparation is dangerous?!” Twilight grits her teeth.
“Physically, I’m five. Aside from my biped form and the whole Alicorn with Nightmare Moon’s eyes thing, I doubt ponies are really going to care too much,” I say, waving a hand to Spike. “I mean, they took to Spike pretty fast when Twilight first came here, right?”
“Yes,” Luna says, giving me a slightly suspicious look. Wonder what that’s for.
“Alright then,” Celestia says, looking to Fluttershy. “As long as you remain close to Fluttershy and do not leave Ponyville on your own, I see no issues with that.”
“In that case,” I grin, quickly bowing and heading for the door, “it has been an honour, princesses.”
Where exactly am I going? I dunno and I don’t care. This is Ponyville and I’m gonna go exploring! Now I’m dressed, what’s the worst that could happen?
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What's the worst that could happen?
Famous Last Words...
Never say that. Ever.
I liked the name joke clever
So now that Murphy has been channeled, will the call be answered by Discord or the CMC?
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/8/620955__safe_artist-colon-zutheskunk_lyra+heartstrings_abraham+lincoln_angry_bipedal_clothes_female_hat_looking+at+you_mare_meme_necktie_now+you+fucked.png
Yes, because revealing that you know how the town reacted to spike is definitely NOT suspicious as hell. Right...
It updates about once a year I guess
Your other mom, maybe?
Well well, looks who’s back from the dead. Great to see you again and an update no less.
I get the impression that Taylor's going to give Twilight a conniption sooner or later.
You've just f***** yourself
You just had to ask that question.
FINALLY!!!!!
The wrath of Murphy has been invoked. Time to get the popcorn.
Yes!! I missed this fic!
Taylor's mentioning alot of stuff he shouldn't know, I wonder why no ones called him out yet. How did he know about Eqg rarity and the clothes deal? All spike did was mention an alternative. Looks like only Luna is catching on.
love the new art
next chapter?
That cover art is great! If that was an anime, I would watch
I am curious as to Taylor's cultural background. To have a pair of shorts make that huge of a difference to his rational thinking makes me suspect east coast USA, upper middle class.
Although personally, I hate clothing. So my reaction to his situation is probably not typical.
. . .
Of course his reaction might also have something with being naked immediately following having his outie become an innie. Nah.
Jokes on Taylor, his\her name actually means it. It's just a variant of old spelling, from before unification.
But tailor got several meanings, and "seamster" would be least common of them before our time.
It means "cutter" and once was meaning someone who customize clothing or other things, adjusting them for use.