You Only Live Twice

by makey101

Pendulums and Ponies

"Say that one more time."

"Princess Celestia raises the sun while Princess Luna raises the moon."

The first three times Twilight Sparkle said those words, I had ignored her due to how nonsensical the statements were. Sure, I had asked her what form of government they had and what why they had princesses and no queens (she seemed almost evasive on the latter), but she was being serious. And that is exactly why it was priceless.

The look of mortification on her mug made my hysterical laughter all the sweeter. I could feel the look of annoyance she was giving me as I continued my mirth.

"And why are you laughing?"

I calmed down just long enough to giggle out a response: "Because that is a ludicrous notion! How do they do it then?"

"Magic of course!" Twilight stated as if she were telling me what day it was.

"Riiiiight. Totally forgot about magic. Ain't gotta explain shit." Twilight opened her mouth only to release only silence. "Thanks for breakfast! I have a few things to figure out in the basement. Don't peek!~"

I scampered down the stairs to my new living quarters to perform a bit of science. There are a few things that I need to be totally sure of in this crazy new place I've found myself in. The first of which is to assess if *shudder* magic raises the sun and moon. Luckily, there is a simple solution for that: The Foucault Pendulum. The only reason why that popped into my head was due to the fact that the University of Washington had one in the physics building.

Another thing I want to find out is the speed of light. It's not as important as, say, winning an argument with a purple unicorn, but it would be necessary for later metrics. This is where I come across my first issue: I don't have a meter stick and the meter stick Twilight would have might be a different length. So that sucks. i'll have to dig through my physics textbook to find that particular solution.

I popped open one of my tubs containing "Nicknacks, Paddywacks, Give-A-Dog-A-Bones" (above the "Bips and Bops") and rummaged around until I found the offending book. Introductory Physics. A waste of 200 dollars at the time, but is proving useful now. Now I just need to look at P for Pendulums...

---

<<3rd Person>>

"The nerve of that pony!" Twilight paced in circles around the main room to her Library. "How dare he laugh at the princesses! He even forbade me from entering my own basement!"

Spike sat part way up the stairs shoveling ice cream from a carton into his mouth. With Twilight so preoccupied with Ed, Spike had taken the liberty to relieve the Library of it's ice cream. Seeing that she was beyond reasoning with, Spike was along for the ride.

"He's not being that strange, Twilight. He just has a strange sense of security and doesn't like people touching his stuff."

"But that is not the issue Spike! The issue is that he is keeping secerets! And he knows it! He enjoys it!"

"Because you are ~~sooo cute~~ when you're angry!"

Twilight whirred around to face the offending pony and lost it. "YOU!" Twilight growled, crouching into a low stance.

"Woah there Rapidash! I need a favor."

"You want me to do you a favor?" Twilight accented every other word with a step forward, pointing her horn threateningly.

"Yes?" Ed's ears instinctively went down.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I took a peek in the basement?"

---

Well that could have gone better. At least I no longer fear for my genitailia. It was a good thing I have all my pics squirreled away in their bins still. My computer was on, but locked (thank goodness) and I had set up my bed.

The basement looked much less like a storage space and more like a bachelor pad: messy. The mess was not clothes, but rather, pieces of engineering paper that had my mathematical scribbles and various diagrams on. In the center of the room was my makeshift pendulum. I crafted it out of spare rope I found and one of my bins full of books. The favor I needed was to get it attached to the rafters.

Twilight stepped cautiously over sheets of green paper cautiously, while approaching a large blackboard I retooled to contain the more pertinant equations for pendulums and how to ascertain gravitational acceleration. Twilight stood in front of the blackboard for a few minutes, seeming to not comprehend what I had written.

"I don't understand any of this. Why is some of it in ελληνικά? (pronounced elli̱niká) That has only been seen on Pre-Discord pottery. What are these?"

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head over Twilight." She evaded my gaze as I rubbed her head with my hoof. "I need you to do me a favor, I need you to attach this rope to the rafter."

Twilight blinked once as she gave me a blank stare. "Why in Equestria are you making a pendulum?" I was waiting for this exact question.

"To prove that the sun raises on its own." I gave my prize winning grin. Twilight gave her most dumbfounded one.

"...with a pendulum." Twilight asked, more as a statement.

"Correct." Twilight got a sparkle in her eyes that made me feel like I had been lead into a trap.

"Ok. I'll humor you. What do you need?"

"I need you to set up the pendulum and to erect a forcefield around the pendulum so that nobody can interfere with it. And sand! can't forget about sand!"

Twilight and I spent the next while setting up the pendulum with a small sandbox beneath it. The sand was there so that the change in position would be more noticeable. I set the large pendulum in motion using a string and a candle to assure a perfect start. Twilight set up the forcrfield before we both moved to my bed and sat on it.

"I still don't see how this proves the sun raises on its own. this will be my question for the day."

*sigh* "fair enough. The pendulum is swinging freely independently of the planet. This is due to the fact that an object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by an outside force." I'll eat a fig newton in his honor. "As long as we are not at the equator of the axis of rotation, the ground will spin, but the pendulum will keep in the same spot, thus causing the pendulum to swing in another direction." I had used a good chunk of the blackboard to demonstrate the physics behind the Foucault Pendulum.

Twilight chewed on this information for a good length of time. I knew she understood it when I saw a concerned look appear on her face. "...clever."

"One more thing" Twilight's looked puzzled at how I said those words. "You should teach me magic!" I hopped up and gave my best playful puppy dog impression complete with sticking my butt in the air and wagging my tail. Due to me not knowing how to control my tail, I wiggled my butt instead.

This did not have the expected reaction.

Twilight's face went literally red. She had the look of shock and fear in her eyes. She seemed like she wanted to run away, but at the same time, she couldn't pull herself away. It may sound a bit weird, but it reminded me of how I looked when I first saw porn... I have no Idea why that does.

"W-w-what a-are you d-doing?"

"Pretending I'm a puppy dog?" I cocked my head in my most puppy-esque manner.

"I-is that all?"

"Yes?" My head tilted a bit more so that the wall was now the floor.

"G-good" She still looked a bit flustered but calmed down significantly.

"Well?" I tapped a foot

"Well what?" It was her turn to cock her head.

"Will you teach me magic? I'll be your apprentice and junk." Twilight's eyes lit up at the prospect of having an apprentice. Her ears perked up and she started breathing quickly.

"YES!" Twilight almost said it before I finished.

"Great! What are you doing this evening?"

---

Author's Note: This stopped being about a self insert once I realized that I am too non-confrontational and boring. So this story is now about Ed as himself. Still has all my stuff though. I am going to focus on a slower world developing thing that will lead into an exploration into what sets ponies and humans apart (and it is not violence for once). Sorry for a late update. I'm super busy and life kinda crashed on me hard. In any case: comment and argue with me!

Comments

[SoullessDCLXVI]

[url=http://youtu.be/AcmpjIfb0OQ?t=18s]One more thing

[makey101]

1008160

oops! fixed

[SoullessDCLXVI]

Awesome. So.. how many more years until the next chapter? I'm curious to see the result of the experiment.

[makey101]

1008230

Currently operating on one week in Valve-Time

[Wordsmith]

1008260 One week and three days... Still a long time. I love this story
It's everything I want from HiE in a small box in Twilights basement. Update more often plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Platinum2094]

Woohoo! The great story has returned!
Bring us more tales of adventure O Wise one!

[blazikenking]

(read this out loud) So you're not going to delve into violence. What about violins?

[totallynotaunicorn]

Still made about Pegasus...

[makey101]

1011229

...ok?

1013334

I am not so savvy... nor is my character. If it is any consolation I am referring to the old clash of the titans. I've tried to read up a bit on all the greek stuff I bring up and I tend to get overwhelmed by the names.

I will probably fix it to include proper mythological cannon.

[blazikenking]

1015487 That honestly worked better in my head.

[totallynotaunicorn]

1015543
Yay! I feel so special!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png