Chapter 5
“Three hours,” Ditzy says under her breath, her words just dripping with irritation. “Three movies in three hours. And three hours of her talking to the TV...”
“Don’t go in there! It’s hiding in the rafters, I know it!”
“Well... Look on the bright side,” you say with a weak smile. “At least she has good taste in movies.”
Ditzy’s face scrunches up and her eyes dig into you. “You better have not been just sitting here listening to the movie, rather than trying to figure a way out of here.”
“Of course not. I’ve been doing both. What do you think I’ve been doing?”
Instead of answering, Ditzy wiggles, trying to make more room. “Can you move back any more, Colonel? This is way too close for comfort...”
“I really wish I could, but my back’s to the wall. So unless you want me to knock it down...”
Letting out a heavy sigh, Ditzy slumped back against the wall and put her hooves on your chest, trying to push you back another inch or two.
“Well I need to do something... Everything is starting to cramp up,” she grumbles. Taking her hooves off of you, she starts to twist around.
“What are you doing?” You hiss, nearly catching an elbow to the face.
Ditzy stays quiet until she has her back to you and her stomach pressed to the other wall. “There... That’s a little better, I guess. Now Colonel, I- What’s wrong?”
Your whole face felt like it was on fire. “Turn around, turn around, turn around...” Biting onto your hoof and closing your eyes, you tense up and try to focus as you cross and uncross your legs.
Don’t think about what she’s currently rubbing against you and how it’s soft and squeezable and - NOTHINKABOUTSOMETHINGELSE! Flight school! Drinking sour milk! The way Honeydew would scream at you for coming home a few minutes late! The time Celestia called you into her room and she had the bridle and whip and-
Letting out a ragged breath, you open your eyes and give Ditzy a strained smile. “You currently have me in a VERY awkward situation, Miss Doo. You see, while I’m a gentlecolt, I’m still a stallion. And if you keep rubbing up against me like that, then the call of the wild is going to get even louder. So please... Turn around.”
Ditzy’s eyes go wide and her jaw drops before quickly spinning around and burying her face in her hooves. “This is the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to me...” she mumbles aloud as she slowly slips down, looking like she wanted to curl up into a ball.
Grabbing a hold of her shoulders and yanking her back to her back legs before she can get too low, you stare into her eyes with a strained look on your face. “Now I gotta wonder if you’re doing this on purpose,” you say in a low tone. “Just... Help me here. What should we do? How are we going to get out of here?”
Ditzy’s expression starts to harden and in the dark, you can make out a glare in her eyes that makes your throat go dry.
“So...” you say above a whisper. “Any ideas?”
“We wouldn’t be in this situation if you could just get that damnable door open... I mean, how hard is it to—”
Putting a hoof up to Ditzy’s mouth and stopping her, you get an inch away from her face. “Right now, the last thing we need to do is play the blame game. You can use me as a punching bag all you like after we get out of here.”
Ditzy’s expression softens until she nods and takes a much needed breath. “Alright... Alright, you’re right. There are more important things right now.” Leaning against the side of the closet, Ditzy bites at her lip and bounces her leg up and down. “We just need a distraction... Get her out of the room for long enough.”
You and Ditzy both grow very quiet as you rack your brain for some sort of answer. After what feels like ages, you slump against the wall as well and shrug.
“I’ve got nothing... I mean, it’s not like we’re ventriloquists. We can’t just throw our voice and... Why are you looking at me like that?”
Ditzy smiles from ear to ear before she suddenly reaches out and grabs you by the shoulders. “Colonel, I could just kiss you right now.”
“Okay, but no tongue.”
Her smile quickly disappears before she lets go and reaches out and grabs onto your ear. “Way to ruin the moment,” Ditzy says flatly as she pulls off your micro-receiver. Holding it in front of your face, her smile slowly returns as she messes with a slider on it. “We aren’t ventriloquists... But we can still throw our voice.”
You start grinning like a madpony as it finally hits you. “Ohhhh... Clever.”
Your smile disappears as you watch Ditzy shuffle around and bring her face to the floor, leaving her other end quite close to your face.
“I just need to slip it underneath... And then... Maybe if I’m lucky...” Taking a deep lung full of air, she starts to blow on receiver and out of the corner of your eye you watch the tiny device disappear under the crack of the door.
“Just need to get it far enough and hope she doesn’t see... Well... I can’t tell if that’s a good or bad thing.”
“What? What happened?” you ask, looking up to the ceiling. “Also, can you stand up please? This is getting awkward again...”
Getting back to her hooves, Ditzy shoots you a look before rolling her shoulders. “I got the receiver to roll out about 4 feet out before it fell between the floorboards. We won’t be getting it back anytime soon, but she won’t be finding it either. Now all we can do is hope she hears this.”
Bringing her hoof to her transmitter, Ditzy starts to tap on it hard. “Come on... Take the bait...”
From the other side of the door, it was faint but distinct. A low, heavy thud. “Knock knock, Rosewing...” Ditzy whispers under her breath. “You have a visitor at the door...”
From the other side of the door, underneath the sound of the movie and Rosewing’s commentary, you hear a series of thuds that sound almost like somepony knocking on the door.
“The minute she leaves, we bolt for the door. And you can open it if it’s so easy.” You say with a little smile. “Now come on... Just answer the damned door...”
For the next ten minutes, Ditzy taps on the transmitter and the knocking sound does everything except get Rosewing’s attention. At one point, you hear Rosewing let out a long sigh before turning the volume up on her TV.
“What is wrong with her?” Ditzy moans out as she rests her head against the wall. “She had to have heard it by now. Give me your transmitter I’m gonna-Are you even listening?”
Craning an ear to the door, you bring a hoof up to your mouth and listen carefully. “I know this movie,” you finally mumble. “It’s about a creature that moves through the walls, ceilings, and floorboards before slipping out and attack ponies.”
“Colonel...” Ditzy starts, her eyes burning into the side of your face while you continue to listen in. “If you are seriously more focused on a movie more than our freedom then I’m afraid I’m going to have to give away our position when I’m done pummel-”
“No, listen... Scary movies have a pretty weird effect on some ponies, trust me I know. It’s gotta be like, 2 AM. She’s tired. She’s not thinking straight. All she’s focused on are these monster movies... So I’m gonna use that. Now gimmie that transmitter.”
Taking the little device from Ditzy, you bring it to your mouth and try to get in the right mindset.
“What are you doing?”
Letting out a tired sigh, you turn to Ditzy with an annoyed look on your face. “Giving her a reason to get out of the room. Now be quiet and lemme try to put on my best Wallcrawler impression...”
“Wallcrawler?”
Ignoring her, you take another deep breath and start to make a skittering, insect like noise with a few scratches against the floorboards for good measure. You do it as loud as you’re comfortable with and keep doing it right up until the lights come on.
“H-Hello?”
Rosewing’s voice quivers and wavers slightly as she starts to walk around the room.
Yeah, that’s it... Get scared. Get really scared.
Ditzy shoots you a glance as you hold stock still, a worried look in her eye. As soon as the lights turn back off, you waste no time and go back to making the noise. As soon as you start back up, Rosewing lets out a startled yelp.
“Oh sweet princesses above!” she screams out. “It’s real, it’s real!”
“Come on you little sucker... I got a squirt gun filled with bleach, all ready to melt your sorry ass!”
“Wait... Vigiliance used bleach to hurt the thing... I-” Rosewing goes quiet for a second before taking a deep breath. “No. Stop... Get a hold of yourself,” she says, standing right under the transmitter. “There’s no such thing as-”
Not wasting the opportunity, you make the sound of the wall crawler again and Rosewing jumps before screaming at the top of her lungs. “BLEACH! BLEACH! I NEED BLEACH!”
In less than a second, you hear her barrel out of her room.
“Go, go, go!” you hiss aloud, opening the door as soon as you hear the bedroom door slam. “Get the balcony door open!”
Moving over to the bedroom door itself, you lock it quickly and turn back to Ditzy. “Can you get it open?”
“It’s the latch,” she says with a worried look. “It’s stuck.”
“Told you it wasn’t my fault...” Walking up to the door, you grab a hold of the latch and try to force it open. “Damnit... If I just had something to-”
No sooner than the words leave your mouth, Ditzy leaves your side and disappears for only a few seconds.
“Get out of the way,” Ditzy says as she pushes you out of the way, brandishing what looked like a butter knife. In one quick motion, she shoves it in and forces it up and does the latch. “Great! Now-”
“Make sure to put that back where you found it,” you say as you walk out onto the balcony. “No traces, right?”
Ditzy looks to the knife she held and nods before tiptoeing over to the nightstand and dropping it onto the plate as carefully as she could before nudging it a few times.
You linger for a moment on the balcony, watching her put the knife back, only to take off when you see her walking towards you.
Going up higher and higher with Ditzy hot on your heels, you break through the clouds and collapse on them with a relieved sigh.
“Oh my gosh... I... I can’t believe that actually worked!” you say with a wide grin.
Ditzy soon joins your side and smiles back. “Yeah, I mean... I seriously thought she was going to find us there when the lights came on!” she says, panting aloud. “What... What made you think to do that, anyway?”
You roll your shoulders and give her a bashful smile. “I... I saw the movie a couple years back. I heard something and freaked out. At least she didn’t do what I did...”
“Oh? And what did you do, Colonel?”
“I, uh... I locked the doors and windows and spent the rest of the night clutching a baseball bat. Not my proudest moment, but I was drunk and sleep deprived at the time.”
Ditzy starts to giggle, but it soon softens and she goes back to her stony, professional expression. “Well... This has been quite the night. I’ll be heading home now, Colonel. I’ll be writing my field report and I expect you to do the same.”
You give her a mock salute and get to your hooves slowly. “Will do... Sleep well, okay angel? We really — What? What’s with the look?”
“What did you just call me?” she asks, her voice sound stern and authoritative.
“I, uh... I called you Angel...” You say with a little nervous laugh. “I’m sorry, I-”
She steps forward and jabs a hoof into your shoulder. “Don’t call me that. You don’t get to call me that.”
Ditzy starts to flap her wings and just as as she leaves the cloud, you call out to her.
“Why? Something wrong? Come on, what did I do?”
She stops midair and turns back to you. “No, there’s nothing wrong. Just don’t do it, okay?”
Ditzy starts to take off again and starts making her way home and for a second, you think about leaving it at that and going back home yourself. But instead, you shoot off after and start flying by her side.
“Wha-”
“You wanna know how I ended up divorced?” you ask idly as you fly next to her.
Ditzy remains quiet and instead looks off to the side. “Not particularly, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me anyway...”
“It’s because Honeydew never told me when something was wrong. She acted like I was supposed to know.” You couldn’t hold your anger back anymore and your voice got louder, matching your frustration. “Like there was some sort of book I should have read that’d let me know what ‘Nothing’ meant when I asked ‘What’s wrong’. Now the last thing I want is a repeat performance. Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“What’s wrong with what?” Ditzy asks, slowing down a bit before stopping at a nearby cloud.
“With everything!” you cry out. “First, you nearly bite my head off after breakfast, then you treat me like I kicked a bag of puppies after Lightning Bolt left and now... And now I just want to know why you’re so damned mad at me! Did I break protocol? Was I unprofessional? What did I do?!?”
The entire time, Ditzy shakes her head until she whips around and bares her teeth at you. “I told you. Nothing. Is. WRONG.”
You and her just stand there, staring at each other until you finally let out a long, frustrated breath and throw your hooves up in the air. “You know what? I’m done. I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve tried to reach out.”
Ditzy turns her back to you and you resist the urge to raise your voice and instead let out a low growl.
“And I’ve done this dance one too many times and there’s no way I’m doing it again. Have a nice night, ma’am. I’ll have your report done by morning. Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a Changeling to catch”
“Wait, Colonel what are-”
With a flap of your wings, you take off into the night and speed home, vaguely hearing Ditzy call out to you as fly out of sight.
Are all mares like this? I may not be the smartest pony out there, but I know when something’s wrong. Why can’t I ever ask ‘What’s wrong?’ and get a straight answer?
The more you think about it, the angrier you get until you're speeding towards the post office as fast as you can.
Grumbling under your breath and walking up to the post office, you almost throw the door off of its hinges before slamming it and locking the deadbolt.
“I need a snort of something strong...” It crosses your mind to head to the local bar, but the clock on the far wall told you how bad of an idea that was. You perk up however when you remember what you brought with you.
Heading up the stairs and opening the door to your personal bedroom, you start hunting around for your rucksack and smile as you lay eyes on it.
“Get over here, ya little...” Hauling it onto the bed, you pour the contents of it out and start rummaging through clothes, notebooks, and all the other stuff you brought with you. “I know have it here, just wh — Aha!”
Grabbing up the bottle of ‘Cloud Hill’ bourbon you were saving for a special occasion, you pry the top off but feel a pang of regret as you stand there holding it.
Damn... Planned to drink this with Trapper after I got the changeling bastard... Licking your lips and walking down the stairs, you go against putting the cork back on. Well I’m not about to let it go to waste.
“Here’s to you, buddy...” you say as you walk into the community breakroom, looking for something to use as a glass. Settling for a mug that was big enough and read ‘Number 1 Mom’ on the side, you pour the contents of the bottle into it and let out a sigh of relief as the smell hits your nose.
“I’ll pick up something even better, Trapper.” You say aloud before knocking back half the glass. “Cause I know you love-... You loved this kind of stuff.”
Shaking your head and walking back to your bedroom, you collapse back into your bed, pushing the contents of your backpack onto the ground and making yourself comfortable.
“Don’t need Ditz... If she wants to be angry at me and shit all over the mission, then I don’t want anything to do with her.” Throwing back your head and downing the last of the bourbon in the mug, you sit up in bed and smile. “I’ll do this all by myself if I have to.”
You nod slowly and feel your smile grow wider. “Yeah. I’ve always been a lone wolf out in the field. I can do this, no problem.”
Reaching down and grabbing one of the notebooks and a pen, you start to make some notes.
Okay... Seems like Rosewing’s in the clear. If she was a changeling, it would have been apparent when we were there and she thought she was alone. She would have done something. Anything really. But she seems clean. So who does that leave? Those two ponies... One I saw at the party. Starburst. And then the other, Comet Tail.
You start jotting down everything you can remember about Starburst, from his eye color to the way he talked. Half way through it, you feel the bourbon start to leave you feeling warm and fuzzy.
“Okay... Drink and work, not my brightest idea,” you say aloud as your bed starts feeling more and more inviting. Picking up the pen again, you put it to paper and steel yourself. “Just gotta focus. Just gotta...”
You blink a few times and lay back in the bed, pen in your mouth, as the night’s activities caught up with you and mixed with the alcohol. Just five minutes...
******************************************************************
The sound of the alarm clock going off startles you awake and sends you into a choking fit. Grabbing your throat and gasping aloud, you lean forward and cough once more, only to watch the pen you had in your mouth last night sail out of your mouth and onto the sheets.
Staring at it for a couple seconds, it finally hits you. “Well... That’ll teach me not to do that again,” you say dumbly as you catch your breath.
Getting to your hooves and standing on the cold floor, you glance at the clock and grumble. “Great. Got like... 10 minutes to get ready and open.”
It doesn’t take long until you’re in the community break room again and putting in a couple pieces of bread into the toaster and wandering towards the bathroom.
Just what every growing stallion needs to start the day... A hangover that’s not strong enough to knock you on your ass, but enough to give you a headache.
Throwing some water into your face and mane, you try to make yourself look somewhat presentable before smiling into the mirror. “Okay... Not as good as a shower, but at least I don’t look like death rolled over anymore,” you say with a little laugh as you turn the water off.
Off in the distance, you hear the toaster go off, prompting you to jog back towards the break room. At least I can eat... Need to keep my energy up if I’m going to be tailing these last two ponies.
Grabbing your toast and chewing it down as you walk up to the door, you unlock the deadbolt and open the door. “Hello world, what do you ha-” you stop short as Raindrops walks by looking half awake. “Wait, you’re not the world. You okay Raindrops?”
Raindrops shakes her head and walks up to the coffeepot. “It’s my other neighbor this time... She started screaming at like 2 in the morning and freaking out. She kept screaming about a monster or something.”
“Really?” you ask, flipping the coffeemaker open and grabbing the old grounds. “What, was she screaming about the headless horse or something?” You stop dead for just a split second as the coffee grounds tumble into the bin. Wait... There’s no way she lives next door to-
“No,” the exhausted looking mare says as she plops herself down in one of the break room chairs. “She was screaming something about a crawler on the wall or something.”
You purse your lips and let out a little sigh. “Well... Sorry you couldn’t get a good night’s sleep,” you say with a shrug. “After that big hump of letters and packages, all we got are the stragglers trying to get those last minute letters out before Hearts and Hooves day.”
Another great staple of any morning breakfast... Guilt. Like she doesn’t already have a hard time sleeping.
“Well, there’s that at least,” Raindrops says with a stifled yawn. “It was a pain to get everything out and mailed, but it’s really calmed down now. I — Oh, hey Ditzy!”
You tighten your jaw slightly as Ditzy walks into the break room, mirroring the same tired and annoyed expression you wore. “Coffee...” she half mumbles. As she opens the cabinet, you can’t help but feel your throat go a little dry when she reaches for the empty spot where the mug you took was and is now sitting in your personal room.
This days just keeps getting better and better...
“Where’s my mug?” she asks, her voice a mix of confusion and annoyance.
“When’s the last time you had it, Miss Doo?” you ask idly as you make your way out. “Cause I’d check there.”
You hear her scoff aloud. “It’s kind of why I’m looking in the cabinet.”
“Well I don’t use it,” Raindrops says as she pours some fresh coffee into the pot. “It’s not in the sink?”
You leave the two to figure out the mystery of the missing mug while you make your way into the sorting area. Just gotta figure out where these two ponies live... Shouldn’t be that hard if I just think. I’ll check the P.O. Boxes first and if they don’t have one, I’ll keep my eyes peeled for their letters.
Looking over the number of cubbies, some with letters, some without, you start pulling letters out quickly and giving them a glance over. “Sprocket, Cherry Pop, Charcoal, Patchy... Cosmic, Daisy...” You pull out one letter and stop when you find the name you’re looking for. Comet Tail. 653 Walnut Way... You look through the couple letters and notification he’s got a package Got an address now, I-
“Colonel, just what are you doing now?”
Your heart leaps into your chest and you whip around to find yourself face to face with Ditzy. “I’m currently thinking about calling an ambulance...” you pant out as you put the letter back. “Give a guy a warning, why don’t ya?”
You start to walk away when Ditzy gives a smaller startle this time by standing in your way. “I’m serious. What are you doing?”
“Well... If you must know, I’m just trying to find out where Comet Tail lives. He’s the next pony I’m looking into.”
“We never agreed to investigating Comet Tail,” Ditzy says, her eyes narrowing. “And we still haven’t cleared Rosewing.”
“Rosewing was home alone, to her knowledge, and she didn’t slip up. Nothing that even hinted at the fact she was a changeling.” You try to walk past her, but Ditzy doesn’t relent and gets back in your path.
“That’s true, but that doesn’t eliminate her completely.”
“But it gives me enough doubt to back off for now and split up my effort so I can take a look at those other suspects. And I don’t need your help. I can do this by myself if it’s so hard for you to work with me.”
Ditzy’s jaw drops before she scowls at you. “I can work with you. And you need my help.”
You feel your jaw tighten and you let out a low, annoyed sigh before turning to Ditzy and putting on a plastic smile. “I appreciate your help, Miss Doo but it’s not required... And it’s not in your job description. You’re just here as my handler, not my trainer.”
You pick up the pace slightly and make your way back into the main room.
“You can’t do that! Please, just-”
“Flare can’t do what?” Raindrops asks as she pokes her head up from behind the desk. She shoots you a worried look and leans forward. “Boss, c’mon... Tell me you’re not putting us on longer shifts because we’re a few hooves short...”
“Well Raindrops, there is that possibility,” you say with a small nod. “Thunderbolt has yet to apologize to the staff, so we have to look at one of two courses of action. One, we increase shifts to cover for the lack of staff or we hire fresh meat.”
Raindrops gives you a little look before smiling. “I like the second one better. See Ditz? He’s not all bad. Let him finish before you jump to conclusions.”
Ditzy stands there, a stunned look on her face. “I, uh...”
“Yeah, Miss Doo... You really should trust me before going off on me.”
You could practically hear her teeth grind in irritation as you walk away with a smile on your face.
“I’ll-I’ll keep that in mind,” Ditzy says with a forced smile. “I’ll be in the back room if you need me, boss.”
“What’s gotten into her?” Raindrops half whispers as she walks away.
You lean in close to her before whispering back. “I think it’s that time of the month...”
Staying right near Raindrops, you can’t help but smile at your stroke of luck.
Don’t have to worry about Ditzy as long as Raindrops is close by...
***********************************************************
Staring out the window as the day crawled by, you couldn’t help but yawn out in boredom. “Slow day...” you mumble aloud. “I was expecting at least a line.”
Raindrops nods in agreement. “And here I was worried about us having our shifts lengthened... I could write my memoirs with all this free time.”
“So, Boss...” Ditzy says as she wanders up to the desk. “Letters are sorted and I’m about to head out and deliver the mid-morning mail. Is there anything else you need me to do before I go?”
You give her a quick shrug and shake your head. “No, you’re good. I’ll see you in a bit.”
You feel Ditzy’s eyes burn into you, knowing she’s just looking for any excuse to drag you away. Not in the mood for another argument... Can’t ya take the hint?
“Alright then... I’ll see you in a bit.”
Just as Ditzy walks away, your eyes catch a flash of yellow out the window. Straining your neck, you watch a stallion that looked just like Comet Tail trot along with a smile on his face.
Getting to your hooves, you make your way for the door. “Heading out for a bit Raindrops. Hold down the fort, okay?” Slipping out quickly, you hear her call out from inside.
“Uhh.... Okay...” She says cautiously. “Where ya going?”
You open the door again and stick your head inside. “Donuts.”
Raindrops’ eyes light up. “Can you get me a chocolate eclair?”
“Will do!”
Trotting out into the streets of Ponyville, you do your best to act as nonchalant as possible while keeping Comet Tail in your sights. Nothing special today... Just getting an idea of where he goes. Hell, talk him up if you can.
You continue to follow him through the streets, ducking in-between ponies and staying hot on his tail. “Okay... Now where are ya going?” you ask under your breath.
You start passing by a number of shops and what look like pubs, all of which Comet Tail seems to ignore. That is, until his eyes light up when looks at a bar called “The Trotting Grounds”.
What the... It’s like, 10 AM... You look over to the clocktower in the distance to double check before your face scrunches up in confusion. I don’t even drink this early. Something’s up. I gotta go in there and find out—
“Keep walking.”
A shiver goes down your spine and you jump slightly, only managing to stifle a cry of surprise when you recognize the voice.
“Ditzy? What the hell are you—”
“I said keep walking and act natural. Just listen to me.”
You open your mouth to protest, but Ditzy cuts you off. “So Flare, you’ve been in Ponyville for a little while now... What do you think of it so far?”
“Well, uh...” you start, clearing your throat. “It’s really nice, I gotta say. A nice trade for all the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. Nice and calm.”
“Ohhh, that’s good to hear~” Ditzy’s voice sounded upbeat and happy, but you can tell there was something wrong underneath it. “Say, why don’t we stop by the cafe real quick before I go back on route?”
“S-Sure... I’ll buy.”
You keep your mouth shut as she leads you to a little outdoor patio where a number of stallions and mares sit at their own tables, sipping at drinks or just talking. Sitting down at the table, you hardly have a second to get a word out before Ditzy starts into you.
“I seriously hoped you were joking when you said you were going to do this on your own... Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
You grit your teeth and stare right into her eyes. “I was following a suspected changeling subversive through the streets of Ponyville and I was about to—”
“You were about to walk into one of Ponyville’s gay bars,” Ditzy deadpans. “You do know that was a gay bar, right?”
Your mouth hangs open for a few seconds and you blink a few times. You try to find something to say, but all you can do is shake your head in confusion. “What?”
Ditzy rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath before pointing her hoof at the bar Comet Tail walked into. “The Trotting Grounds is one of Ponyville’s gay bars, along with The Cantering Colt and The Winking Mare. If you bothered to read Comet Tail’s file, you would have known—”
“I get it, I get it...” you say with a small blush. “I was about to walk into a situation where every stallion there would either take a keen interest in me or know I didn’t belong there.”
“And then Comet Tail, if he is the changeling, would know that somepony was on to him,” she adds. “Which means you could have blown the whole mission.”
You run a hoof down your face and lean back in your chair. “Yeah, well... If you would just work with me instead of making things harder, then-”
“How am I making things harder?” Ditzy snaps, her gaze growing cold. “I’m just—”
“You’re just pushing me away, telling me that there’s nothing wrong and letting that come between us and the mission,” you finish for her. Ditzy’s expression softens and her eyes shift down to the ground. “It’s hard to think you can trust somepony when they’re obviously hiding something. That’s why if I can’t trust you, then I gotta face down the changeling myself.”
You get to your hooves, but she reaches out and stops you short. “Wait! I...” Ditzy swallows audibly and lets out a long sigh. “I’ll... I’ll tell you okay? Just don’t go.”
Your brow bunches up as you stare at the now visibly shaken mare. “How bad is this?” you ask as you sit down. “If I can help, I’ll—”
“Just... Shut up, okay?” she says sharply. “I... I, well... You told me how you got divorced. You haven’t asked yet, but... Ever wonder where my husband is?”
“Well... Now that you mention it...”
“He’s dead.”
The two of you go silent and your throat goes dry. “I, uh... Jeez... I’m so—”
“Don’t say anything, okay? Don’t apologize, just listen to me...” Ditzy stares at you, leaning in close. “Giggles... He was... He was an amazing pony. He knew just what to say to make you laugh, he was great with kids and became a devoted father when our first child was born. And to top it all off, he’d go above and beyond to help me when I needed it the most... And still, he called me his ‘Angel’.”
The realization hits you and twists your guts into knots until you were holding your head in your hooves. “Aww crap... and I called you ‘angel’ and I... Aww hell, I must look like an ass to you...”
Ditzy shakes her head. “No... That’s not the problem... Just keep listening, okay?”
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you look up to her and nod.
“Well... The real thing that made everything so... hard was when you took so well to my little ones... And it was like Giggles was right there again. But you aren’t him and I just can’t...” With another long sigh, Ditzy wipes at her eyes and sniffles. “Sorry... It’s just... Can you imagine why I’ve been acting the way I have now? When I have my late husband to think about and a new stallion entering my kid’s lives?”
You nod slowly and grab one of the napkins on the table and hold it out for her. “Yeah. I’d be a little pissed too if I was in your horseshoes...”
“No, no, no...” Ditzy says as she shakes her head. “I’m not ‘pissed’... I’m just... I don’t know what to do, okay? I’m not going to lie, I enjoy your company and I’d love to have you over for breakfast again, but I can’t help but feel like I’m betraying him. Like I’m letting a strange stallion into his house and—”
“Don’t.” Reaching out, you stop her before she can work herself up any further. “You don’t need to have me in your life if you don’t want to. We can keep this relationship purely professional if you want.”
“I... I appreciate your understanding, Colonel.”
Ditzy’s gaze drifts down to the tear-stained napkin she held in her hooves before looking back up to you. “Can I... Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Go ahead. It’s the least I could.”
“Well...” she starts, balling the napkin she held nervously. “What if you died while you were still together with Honeydew? And in whatever afterlife that’s planned for us, you saw her with a new stallion... How’d that make you feel?”
You blow out a long breath of air before running your hooves through your mane. “Well... That’s a toughy. I don’t think I’d be able to answer that... I don’t feel the same way about Honeydew anymore. So let me ask you this: What did Giggles want for you? In a few words, what did he hope to do for you?”
Ditzy blushes and shakes her head. “I... I don’t know... For me to be happy, I guess?”
“Well there ya go... Not the answer to your question but was it what you were looking for?”
“I... I really don’t know... Colonel? Listen... I don’t want you going off on your own, okay?” she asks, a hint of worry in her voice. “I can work with you. And you can trust me.”
You can’t help but smile as you get to your hooves. “Same goes for me. Now let’s get back to the post office, okay? Oh, and we gotta pick up some donuts or Raindrops will get suspicious.”
“Right behind you,” Ditzy says before smiling mischievously. “And then maybe I can tell her how you almost wandered into a gay bar...”
You feel your cheeks redden slightly. “Hey, I didn’t almost wander in... And how do you know about all the gay bars in Ponyville?”
It was Ditzy’s turn to blush. “Uh... My friend Carrot Top... She tells me about her weekends and... She took me to the Trotting Grounds once.”
“Oh! So you get to tease me about walking by the gay bar after you were the one who went inside it!”
“Hey! It’s not like I was trolling for mares in there! I was just enjoying a drink or two there bou-” She closes her mouth and turns even redder.
“Oh my gosh... Did somepony buy you a drink?”
“It’s not like that!” she cries out, looking absolutely red. “They were just being nice and-”
Leaning in, you bring your mouth to Ditzy’s ear. “And they wanted to get you in their bed...”
She stands there, absolutely dumbstruck before trotting ahead of you. “I won’t say anything if you don’t.”
“Ohh fine then... You’re no fun, you know that?”
You and her share a little laugh before you both grow really quiet.
“Did you see anything strange when you were following Comet Tail?”
“No,” you say shaking your head. “But I didn’t get that far. Nothing rules him out yet.”
“And neither Rosewing... And we still have to look into Starburst,” she says with a heavy sigh. “And not even a single lead yet...”
“We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”
“That we do.”
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And in a startling twist of fate, Raindrops is the changeling all along!
Nice to see this story update, been a while since I'd read the previous chapters.
For a moment I experienced a fear that this was a Goristhedeathclaw fic. That dude has trained me to be wary of these kinds of stories.
Anyway, gotta get on this soon.
3358699
I haven't seen Wreck-It Ralph... So I have no idea what you mean. o.o
Edit: And for some reason, the video wasn't there the first time I saw the comment. It sort of makes sense now, but it still stands: I haven't seen the movie, so this wasn't a reference.
3359134
I have not read a fic by Goris the Deathclaw, so again, I feel sort of in the dark like the one guy and Wreck-It Ralph. But, uh, yeah... I don't think my fics are like that guy's from the way you talk about them.
3359705
Okays~
And now, I get ready for classes. When I get home, I'll unwind a bit and get started on My Little Serial Killer.
finaly! now they can be friends again
Another potentially wonderful story with a character that even coming out of just the description seems wonderfully balanced, ruined by having been made into a second-person story.
When you're making a story, you're supposed to be getting me to sympathize with the struggles of the character, not tell me what I would do in X situation, because I'm not and never will be in this situation, and you can't anticipate what everyone is going to do, because everyone is going to choose something different, they might feel different, choose a different action or have different reasons behind them.
This character you've made looks to have the workings of a decent OC, but I know it's just going to bother me every single time I have to read about how I'm supposed to be him.
3359856 Some people see it that way, I personally compare what 'I' and 'him' do in those situations when it is obvious to keep us separate in my mind.
And the ones that aren't obvious in their 'You' usage I barely realize that it is second person.
3360356
The editing process is a fickle one... I just fixed it, after thinking that I fixed it last time.
Thanks for pointing that out by the way. ^.^
3359856
Aye, I understand that's how a lot of people feel about second person stories. It's hard to get every person to sympathize with the actions of the protagonist when it's a second person perspective, ultimately turning the reader into a little gnome sitting behind the character's eyes, reading their thoughts and feeling their emotions.
Then again, it's also hard to create a story where a reader can choose what happens in X situation and have an option that caters to every person's opinion on the situation. It's why there's no real free flowing dialogue in video games, just trees that lead to one of two or three possible endings with one of them feeling like a non-traditional "Game Over" and one of them seeming like the true ending.
So instead, I go with the first idea with the concept of a sort of... Quantum Leap idea. I'm Al and you're Sam. You have a role to play, I guide you, and there's a chance that role could rub off on you.
As said at the beginning though, I completely understand how a lot of people are turned off by second person stories. But still, there are people who enjoy them and that's the reason why I write them.
3359955
...Huh. That's the first time I ever noticed the Airplane thing... Though, in my head canon of this Equestria, it's a little more advanced technologically. I'm now imagining a team of pegasi carrying a very large fuselage through the air, much like a chariot but meant for a large number of ponies.
As for that phrase? I don't know, it seemed right in my head. I watched videos of Drill Sergeants grilling and yelling at recruits to get inside the mindset of the "Colonel" and that phrase stuck with me. I could change it to "hoof" instead of foot. Would that help?
Fave and a like from me dude love this!
3360688 Enjoyment hardly belies quality or goodness.
3360732
Agreed, EVERYONE LOVE THIS!
This is one of the best fics I have came acrossed, not only is Derpy a spy, but she's is still her usual self, placing her in random yet hilarious situations and having a stallion trying to think of anything but her ass
I LOVE THIS. Please tell me when your going to update... Nice avatar by the way writer... Niccccccce
this is pretty good, if only it was updated more frequently. Wall-crawler is best crawler.
I'm just going to go ahead and say that I think it is Raindrops.
You would think that the first things you would do is secure your base of operations, but no! He just instantly goes off and looks for new ponies in town! Why would a changeling even do that? They would probably just take the form of someone where they could communicate without trouble AKA Raindrops. Also I am noticing that he isn't using the highly advanced changeling detecting gear he was give at all.
3360701
I don't know about the OP, but it bothered me a little, and I think it would help.
That beside, though, I'm having a lot of fun reading this so far! Though I'm a little confused as to how spy suits can be revealing when ponies normally go around naked...
Fantastic as usual and loving the Coffeeverse crossover!
I'd love an update.
4101692
Working on an update of By a Fireplace right now. If I keep on schedule, something should be posted by friday at the latest and thursday at the earliest.
I think the issue is in there.
Catching up.